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i hav a short story or prologue...i wuld luv comments about

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luvonlyme6

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 12:40 pm


um...its basically my first chapter...but go ahead n read (only if u want to) n leave a comment or wuteva...um yea...okay here it is

The rush of air forced her nostrils to flare repeatedly as she struggled to catch her breath. They were coming after her. She didn’t know who or why, but they where
defiantly coming. Her feet now struggled to take each labored step, pattering clumsily
until one gave way. She stumbled and fell, but got up quickly. Where am I she wondered
to herself? She knew her only option was to continue to run and not to get caught. She
needed a place to hide, if only just to catch her breath. An old shed was just up ahead; if
she pushed herself hard she might be able to make it before they could catch up. With a
grunt and full exertion she dashed to the shed, opened the door, and slid inside. The shed
was dank and smelled of hay and fertilizer. A few bags sat in the corner and a loft was
overhead filled with hay bails. Huddling behind the bags, she tried to slow her now
ragged breathing, all the while watching the door. She could hear the thump of footfalls
and they slowed as they neared the shed. Shadows loomed beneath the shed door and the
latch twitched several times before springing open. She fought the urge to scream as two
men entered the shed. One kept an eye out at the door, while the other advanced
forward, looking toward the loft. She couldn’t remember why they were chasing her, but
something seemed very familiar about their attire. They wore black suits and dark shaded
glasses. They looked very professional. She rubbed her temple, which was trickling
blood. She grimaced in pain as she did. She made up her mind then that she wouldn’t get
caught and that they would have to kill her. In her mind, she felt that they wanted to
capture her for some unknown purpose. She rummaged around the corner behind the bags
and found a shovel to arm herself with. The first man continued toward the stairs of the
loft while the other circled the opposite way, coming closer to her position. The creaking
of the loft stairs sent dust down from above and on to her head. She readied her blow and
thought about what she would do after she delivered it. She hoped that they didn’t have
any guns and that they just wanted to apprehend her alive.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 12:41 pm


there is more...but i thought this wuld atleast giv ya a hint of wut the book wuld b about...so feel free to criticize=)

luvonlyme6


A cookie called Bob
Captain

Dapper Gawker

PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 8:20 am


I pity the fool...

OMG what happens next?!
D:



...Who doesn't join my guild.


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 1:46 pm


well she gets away from them this tym...after hittin one in the shoulder...well she gets away wit an injury...one of the guys grab her as she is runnin out and she falls...but i gt the second chapter comin up soon..lol i already wrote it but editin is needed lol..but thanx

luvonlyme6

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