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 Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:13 pm
 Kiefer was in a daze. He had just found out the news that would quite surely change his life. And he couldn't think. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. And he had a pounding headache. But he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want anyone to know his mistake. He was ashamed. Such a thing as that...it just wasn't like him. He wasn't that type of stallion. And then one mistake. One...little mistake. Ok, big mistake. And now his life was over.
Journey was going to have foals.
And he didn't love her.
But there might be a way to avoid it. He could run. And never see her again. That might work. If he never saw her again... well, certainly that would solve things. For him, at least. The stallion cringed at the thought. He was the type to run away from his problems. But...this was big. It wasn't just hurting himself. No, it would hurt Journey. Very badly, he was sure. Kiefer never claimed to know himself very well. He went through times where he didn't even know himself at all. But now, when it counted, he might as well not have an identity.
He didn't like hurting others. In fact, he did what he could to avoid it. But it seemed like where ever he went, he was hurting someone. Usually unintentionally. The stallion had almost never in his life done something to intentionally harm another, except perhaps once or twice when he was a colt. But that was just him being immature.
This. This was big. And he couldn't take it back. He couldn't say 'I'm Sorry!' and it would be ok. He could run away from it. But that, he knew, was a very weak choice to make. But he felt like all his life he had been fairly strong. And if there was any time, any time at all that he wanted to cash in his moment of weakness. Well. That was right now.
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:26 pm
There was something about the simple routine of life that really drew Tayook to wandering. Each morning she could wake up as she pleased, and she would wander as far and as wide as she wanted to, in whichever directionshe wanted to. The very fact that it was possible seemed to the dappled mare like a miracle of life. And somehow, amidst all of this wandering she could keep a good tab on which way was home.
Well, that was the perfect life as she saw it, free from the restraints of anything or anyone, and she could see no better way to live than the way she lived. It was in the being alone that brought the spring to her step and the arch in her neck, and the joy she felt at pushing herself to the limits galloping across the vast plains.
She loved to run. And run she did, each day. Feeling the wind in her ears erased all her bad memories, and made her feel, to put it bluntly, good. After she ran, she felt refreshed, reborn, almost, as if the feeling of traversing the land with all her surroundings flashing by in a blur was akin to experiencing life anew. And now she ran as she always did, with her eyes half closed against the rush of wind.
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:38 pm
Kiefer sunk down under a tree. The ground was frozen, and there was still grass there because of how thick the tree above him was. Every few moments, however, a pile of snow would fall from above. He didn't really care. At least he was slightly more concealed by the trees then in the white snow, where his golden coat stuck out far more then he'd like. The stallion rested his head onto his hooves, and let his eyelids droop over his bright green eyes.
And then he heard hoof beats. His heart started beating hard. He didn't want to see anyone. He was certainly in no condition to make any friends right now. Worst yet, it could be Journey. Coming to kill him. Then again, at this point? He would probably just let her. Either way, it probably wasn't her. Whoever was coming seemed to be going much faster then Journey would, particularly in her 'state'. And she could fly, so there was no reason for her to run.
He moved his body closer to the tree. Not that it really helped. No matter where Kiefer went, his colors hardly blended in with anything at all. Sometimes in the summer, when the tall grass was baked golden, he could sort of hide in that. But it wasn't summer. Quite the opposite. So there really wasn't any hope for him in the land of nothing but brown black and white. It seemed where ever he went, there wouldn't be any room for the golden stallion.
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:47 pm
At the speed Tay was going everything happened at what seemed like light speed, and so it wasn't until the blur of gold had long since flashed by her that she realized she was interested. The brown mare's interested had always been easily piqued, so it wasn't quite a surprise to her that she should be drawn to that golden blur.
She eased down from her flat-out gallop until she was in a collected trot, and then she turned back, ears pricked as she tried to find what it was that had caught her attention, wondering all the while what it was. It happened quite often to her. She would find something interesting without quite knowing what it was. It had gotten her into a spot of trouble once when she had poked her nose into a beehive as a foal.
She found the gold "blur" under a tree. It wasn't a blur at all. Quite the contrary, it was a stallion, and she promptly started wondering why it was that he was lying under a tree in the middle of such a beautiful summer day. She dropped from her trot, walking the last few steps toward the tree, stopping a polite distance away. She simply stood for a moment, as if waiting and wondering if perhaps he would be willing to start talking first.
((Edit: I'm heading out, I'll reply when I get back xD))
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:55 pm
Moments later, a blur of brown went by. He jumped slightly, and then watched it disappear. Then slow down, and turn around. Well, it certainly wasn't Journey. Thank God. But it was another mare. And from the looks of it, it seemed like she was coming towards him. Fantastic. God, he hated his obnoxious colors.
He brought his head up, and flicked his mane out of his eyes to get a proper look at her. Natural colors, a bit like his aunt's. Then again, a large amount of soquili possessed such colors. And some had colors FAR more loud then his own. He had seen bright pinks, oranges, blues. Every color of the rainbow. Heck, there were even rainbow soquili.
"Hey" he said uncomfortably. Obviously if they sat there and stared at each other nothing interesting would happen. She might go away. Or she might say he was a freak, depending on personality. Either way, if he made some quick conversation, perhaps the mare would just go away.
He didn't want to be rude or anything. But Kiefer was in no mood to be with another. He just wanted to be alone right now. Whatever, just something on his long list of things that weren't going according to plan right now. Then again, it wasn't like he had a plan in the first place. Perhaps that was his problem. With out a plan, he couldn't expect things to just solve themselves on their own.
((tis fine, I'm off for the night anyway ^^ ))
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:05 am
"Well. Hey," She replied. If she realized he was uncomfortable with her presence - which she most probably was - she didn't show it. It made things easier, she had found, if she just at least pretended to be oblivious to it. At least if she did, it kept her from becoming uncomfortable herself, and in the case of meeting a new acquaintance, it always seemed to help that at least one of them was calm and... well, rational.
"What are you doing?" She asked, decided to cut to the chase and get straight to point. She wasn't really one to try to beat around the bush. She had always been like that, always saying exactly what was on her mind. As a newborn foal, that had all been cute and adorable, but when she had grown a little to have more sense and still did the exact same thing, suddenly her parents didn't find it quite so cute anymore. Of course, she couldn't really blame them.
It was obvious he didn't want her there, and it would all be for the better if she were to leave. But she chose to ignore that too, and stay. Because, she didn't know why, but something told her that even if he wanted her gone, perhaps if she stayed it would help with whatever was making him try to disappear into the tree behind him. Even if she was just a complete stranger that had blurred by him a second ago.
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:41 pm
Kiefer saw that the mare either couldn't take a hint, or wasn't going to act on it. Which was rather annoying. But whatever. The stallion brought himself to a standing position, letting himself shake some of the snowflakes that had landed on him off his golden coat. He seemed to always be a mess when ever he met someone new. Then again, maybe being gross was charming, because he was when he met Journey.
Kiefer pushed the thoughts out of his head. He needed to stop with this. "Just. Thinking I suppose" he said, looking down as to not meet her eyes. The stallion wasn't permanently scared, but he wasn't in any condition to have interactions with a mare right now.
In fact, it really scared him. He wouldn't let himself have something like with Journey happen again. He never thought he could do that. He had heard about it, sure, and had laughed because the stupid soquili had no self control, or didn't have any morals. And then he put himself in this position. He couldn't even trust himself any more.
"What are you doing?" he asked, trying to make it as kind as possible. In his mood, though, it wasn't entirely plausable. But then he felt bad for taking aggression off on the mare. She didn't mean any harm. If anything, she was probably concerned that he was so...odd right now.
"erm. Sorry. I'm just a bit...in a bad mood" he mumbled, still not meeting her eyes.
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:15 pm
The brown mare was about to push for details, but she promptly realized that she had met him only moments before. She didn't know all that much, but it was obvious that this in particular wasn't really something the stallion would like to share at the moment, so she backed right off of it and settled on something new.
Tay blinked at him. "Me? I'm trying to make you feel better, duh..." She had meant it as a bit of a joke, but she almost regretted saying it the moment she had. Perhaps he wasn't in the mood for jokes. But what was done was done, so she forged right on ahead without dwelling too much on it. She tended to do that, moving on without dwelling much on her mistakes, and she had found that it helped a little. Especially when they were bad mistakes.
"Hm, well yes, I can see that," She nodded a little. "So, my name is Tay." She added. Perhaps he didn't see it right now, but he didn't really look like he should spend the day alone under a massive tree, no matter how warm it was. He did look to her like he was in the kind of foul mood that would make him try to get her to leave him alone, though. Tay had already made up her mind that she wasn't going to leave - at least not until he perked up even a little bit. So perhaps the offering of her name would help. If he knew more about her, he was much less likely to try to chase her away.
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Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:51 am
Kiefer was glad Tay hadn't taken his comment the wrong way. The last thing he needed was TWO mares on a war path after him. Then again, he doubted a snarkish remark was enough to make this mare as angry as Journey was with him. He couldn't blame Journey for being angry at him for what he did. Even now he was in a daze. It wasn't like him. Well, thats what he hoped.
"Oh. Well. It's going well" he said. Not very sarcastically, but more wishfully. He really did wish this mare could make him feel better. But that would be hard, if not impossible. He wanted to just melt into the tree and never come back. But that didn't seem like an option right now. Damn it.
"I'm Kiefer" he said, finally meeting her eyes. He wanted very badly to talk to someone about what he had done. But he just couldn't bring himself to say it. No matter how he spun it, he couldn't possibly make what happened OK. He had left Journey in her time of need. Because he was scared, and selfish. But going back to her...he didn't see how that could possibly work. She would kill him. And he didn't even know what to do. He wasn't ready to be a father.
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Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:00 pm
As much as she wondered what was making him sound as if cheering up was the last thing on earth that could possibly happen, she decided then that she was just going to ignore it all and just do what she tended to do best, albeit sometimes at the wrong moments - be happy. And, as she reasoned, it couldn't be that hard to cheer him up. She had been around stallions and colts all her life. She knew what they were like. So unless he had committed the worst sin in the history of the world, he could, and would, be cheered up eventually. If there was one thing Tay couldn't stand, it was unhappiness on beautiful days.
"Eye contact, that's a start," She quipped. "Means you aren't too far gone. Now, pleasure meeting you, Kiefer." She paused for a moment. She didn't know him too well, but for her, the one and only thing that always worked if she was down was... well. Running. The exercise just seemed to trigger something in her mind that made her irreversibly happy, at least for the day, and she had no doubt it would work for him too.
But of course she didn't want to take it too far too fast. She wondered as she stood there, though, how far small talk would get him in terms of going back to being happy. He really didn't look like he could pull out of this slump any time soon, but the least she could do was try now that he was no longer just the random golden stallion she had just happened to meet.
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:24 pm
Kiefer snorted. "Yea. I guess" he said, not sounding particularly pleased with her remark. It was hard to believe anyone could be happy on such a horrid day. Didn't she realize he was a horrible stallion? Didn't she realize his life would never be the same? Didn't she realize that there was no going back?
Of course she didn't. Tay didn't know. But still...the idea of going on as if everything was normal? It just seemed so far fetched to him. Why didn't everyone know? News generally didn't spread fast in the soquili world. And he doubt Journey had told anyone except himself yet, he knew for a fact she didn't have many friends.
But he was a dead man. Seemed like big news to him. Then again, he doubted if he ever heard such news that HE would care. Just some stupid stallion doing something stupid to an idiot mare. End of story. Moving on.
He looked at Tay again. "I wish I could say the same to you. Really" he said, sadly. He never thought he could be in such a depression. Sure, he had been upset before. But never so upset that he couldn't act like he had some form of manners . Not like this. He was being rude to the poor mare. But maybe she would leave him alone if he was rude enough.
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 7:37 pm
((Sorry for the wait. My internet hasn't been working well. I'll see if I can reply later on but if not, I might not be able to get on for another few days until I get home. sweatdrop ))
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:43 pm
MoonRazor ((Sorry for the wait. My internet hasn't been working well. I'll see if I can reply later on but if not, I might not be able to get on for another few days until I get home. sweatdrop ))
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