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And I can't wait for it to just be over. On top of everything that I already told you guys about in the other thead, my parents waited until tonight to decide what we were going to do. Then my mom called the restaurant I wanted to go, but they couldn't get us in tomorrow night [gee, I wonder why]. She said we should wait until Saturday. I said. "Why can't we just have it here and get pizza? Or go to another restaurant?" She then went into a rant about how expensive other restaurants are [oh, so it's okay to visit them for other birthdays, just not mine] and how she didn't necessarily want pizza.

So I just let the matter rest until my dad got home, but then they got into a fight about my sister's party. My grandmother just called and told my mom that if we have the celebration tomorrow night, she can't come. Something about how someone paid a lot for something and how my mom understands. Well, maybe she does, but I don't!

I didn't want to wait to have my birthday on Saturday for two reasons. One, it's my birthday and everyone is making me feel like it's not important. Two, I really wanted to use my birthday money to do my Christmas shopping on Saturday and just be done with it. I don't have a job or any other way of buying presents [my student loan will probably arrive Boxing Day, thanks so much], so I had to wait until my party to get the money and go.

I'm trying to be understanding, but how much can I be? I feel like I'm being pushed to my patience limit and beyond, and no one understands that. And if I say anything, my mother will just be like, "Well, we can't do anything about it." and act like I shouldn't be upset or anything. Especially since she got into a fight with my dad tonight.

Am I just being selfish? I actually burst into tears after eavesdropping and hearing about the grandmother thing and I'm still crying. I mean, my grandparents are missing my second birthday in a row, my best friend is in Texas and may not even be online during the day, my sister planned a party for that same night, my mom doesn't really seem to care, and my grandmother can't make it on that birthday night, either. Am I not important to anyone? Like, congratulations, everyone has successfully ruined my nineteenth birthday, which is the one I've been looking forward to for a good two years now. By this point, I just want it to be over with.