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 Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:10 pm
As some of you might already know, but I have a HUGE self-esteem problem. Well lately I've made friends with some really great guys and they are awesome. Well one night we are out somewhere eating and these girls walk by and they are staring and it turns into a convo in what they look for in a girl.
Well, one thing leads to another and they start to talk about me. They go, "Your cute, but that's all you got. You have a very cute face, but the body is like cute. Like a little sister cute thing, you know? You are like little sister cute. Those girls are hot. Like lets do naughty things hot and you don't do things to a cute little sister, for that's wrong. Hell NEVER say your little sister is cute. Though your cute, Jackie."
LITTLE SISTER CUTE? Gross. I don't want to be think of as little sister cute. Well, I've come to the facts I am too awkward to be sexy, but I'd like to be known other then little sister cute. You men suck. How is this girl ever going to get her first kiss if guys think they are kissing their little sister!?
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:56 pm
Look on the bright side. If you're "little sister cute", you can hook up with some hot incestuous guys! ^_^
Seriously though, I think the problem isn't you as much as your crowd of friends. They insult you, they dump you whenever their BFs want to do something, and you say your problem is with men? confused
I think you're blaming the wrong gender.
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 6:48 pm
Fuzzy Necromancer Look on the bright side. If you're "little sister cute", you can hook up with some hot incestuous guys! ^_^ Seriously though, I think the problem isn't you as much as your crowd of friends. They insult you, they dump you whenever their BFs want to do something, and you say your problem is with men? confused I think you're blaming the wrong gender.
I also actually had a friend cancel plans today due to issues with her fiancee, whom she lives with and can see any time. She also triple-booked on the date we were supposed to hang out, so we moved it to the next day. She was going to hang out with me but her fiancee wanted her home right after we ate. She is an amazing friend, and I love her. Canceling plans to hang out with your boyfriend, while not always smart or cool (boyfriends come and go, true friendships last forever) is not uncommon.
So I don't see what this has to do with her topic, as that's how girls people in general are. Not to mention, the friends in question were guys.
@Shampoo:
Here are some things I try to always remember:
1) Guys are dipshits. When my boyfriend broke up with me for that month and a half, he (being a master of words) told me at one point how he'd still like to kiss me, but it'd be like kissing his sister... I started crying so hard... he admitted he didn't mean it like that, and that it was a bad choice of words... but he was trying to emphasize the being friends thing, I believe... guys seem to think if a girl is a friend then they shouldn't think of her as a ******** object....
They could even see it as a compliment to you... wanting to randomly ******** a girl doesn't mean they have any respect for her. They were probably trying to emphasize their respect for you. But I've also had guy friends tell me "It's hard to picture you as a girl"... it really hurt my feelings, it's something guys shouldn't say to girls...but they do without thinking... because I don't think it fully clicks girls hear that as "I am so ugly" and not "we are such good friends" At least you got called cute, I've seriously been told "Hah, it's hard to see you as a woman" I felt aweful. I've even had guys say it to me... and it was really they were trying to downplay the attraction they had for me because they were afraid it would make the friendship weird.
2) You don't need somebody to make yourself or your life complete... until you recognize you don't have to have a boyfriend or a first kiss, you're not going to get a healthy relationship. I didn't have my first kiss 'til I was 18, I am thankful. However, I was so confident in my single-dome and so sure nobody would ever find me attractive...I gave off an intimidating impression. Looking back, I see all these guys I bet liked me, but were too scared to say anything 'cause I had already accepted and was actually somewhat pleased with the fact I'd never fall in love, never have anybody love me, and would never have to deal with relationship drama...
I probably sound egotistical, but I do have a lot of guys that would like to date me, and have had local relationships I could've attempted... I had and yeah, I am pretty... but honestly you are pretty, even if you don't see it. The difference is I recognize that I'm pretty, often I think "God, I'm such a great catch, it's a bit of a shame how few people realize it" I have confidence, and confidence is sexy...that is what is holding you back, you aren't confident in yourself...and no guy is going to fix that for you, you have to fix it for yourself before you worry about a boyfriend.
3)Embrace the fact that you're cute... I've been told I'm cute way more than I've ever been told I'm sexy. It doesn't mean I'm not beautiful, it's just how I am... I wish I could dress as sexy as my friends, and in a lot of cases I can... but at the same time, they're always cooing over me and saying "You're so cute, it's not fair!" Admittedly, I enjoy it... a lot. I try to play it up. I try to wear bright colors and cute things, kiddy jewelry and pigtails I've been told I dress like an emo five year old, I love that. Don't be upset that you're cute, use it to your advantage. I'm much cuter than a lot of girls, and sexiness doesn't come naturally to me... I used to be horribly awkward... I was shocked when I started getting told how I act sexy and stuff... It came from getting confidence, and embracing both my cute and sexy side... I adore the fact that I'm the kind of girl guys can take home to mom, parents love me... seriously love me... I get the best of both worlds. People don't only talk to me for my looks I'm also able to drive guys wild.
Because I know I'm sexy I act it... when meeting a friend from gaia I wore my most awesome bra and a low-cut shirt and when I met him I caught him doing a double-take at my chest and then I caught him looking at it more than once, when I pointed it out he denied it... he was so mad later to find out it was a trick. When we got in the car I asked "So, how many times have you checked out my boobs so far?" and then "My a**?" after a few hours we'd lose track... it was a fun game, though. I love to tease male friends, lean over in front of them, push my chest out, make sly remarks, adjust myself in front of them... but I don't act like they should think of me as a sister, I act like I want them to think "Sadie is a sexual being" As horrible as this sounds, it is a good example of my point... I now have a hickey on my neck from my ex-boyfriend, despite the fact I have my boyfriend back and am madly in-love with him, want to get married to him and the reason I have it is because I got too into teasing, and he retaliated. 3 years ago I could not have pictured myself being so confident in myself like I am now, and being so good at flirting and teasing... but I learned, and it didn't hurt that I learned confidence is key.
God, I'm sorry this is so long and I rambled more than I wanted to and I could still write a book on it but I wont but seriously, confidence is key.
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:30 pm
They were already walking on eggshells by talking about "hot" girls in front of you. I don't say that because I think what they did was necessarily wrong--it's just a very sensitive topic.
I think this lies in how men and women view friendships with the opposite sex. A guy sees a female friend as a buddy, a pal, just "one of the guys." "Female" takes a back seat to "friend."
With girls, it's the opposite. A male friend is a "guy" first, a "friend" second. Even in regards to guys we'd never go out with, we want them to see us as a woman, not just "one of the guys."
Obviously, there are exceptions to these, but that's how it is most of the time, from my experience.
But like Ghosty said, that was their way of trying to show their respect for you. It was a terrible way, because no girl wants to be told she's "like a little sister," but there you go--those differences again. The fact that they even thought of you means that they seem to consider you a good friend.
I am grateful for Ghosty's post, though--before I had time to calm down and think things through, I was going to make a post calling your friends jerks and saying you were better off without them. xp
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:31 am
Rachel is right about how men and women view friendships, of course there are exceptions, but in general.
I have to say, I love checking out "hot" girls with the guys I know, though. With my boyfriend I'll be like "Look at that girl's boobs!" or "Do you think she's hot? I think she's hot?" I sat in a mall with him and his friend and was like "OK, WE ARE GOING TO CHECK OUT THE WOMENS" Unfortunately, that mall was seriously lacking in hot chicks. The most attractive looked like she was 12 (her makeup was like a 17 year old's, though) and then the fat chicks... which while I tend to check them out more, I was looking for a wide range of hot chicks to admire with them. I was the most into it, the guys acted like it was awkward...haha.
And with my ex I'll show him girls "Do you like her? I think she's hot" and he just tells me I'm weird sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:41 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 5:41 pm
I'm sorry that you're sorry, as I'm not sure what you're apologizing for xp
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:46 pm
Um, for jumping to incorrect assumptions about gender and the nature of friends who make derisive comments? =o
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 10:01 am
Honestly, Ghosty is right.
You will always be 'little sister cute' until you learn to love yourself.
If you aren't comfortable and confident with yourself, then no one else can see as anything more than a friend.
You're adorable and you have the potential to be more than just cute. You have some really gorgeous features and if you can get a boost of confidence, than that awkwardness will slowly disappear and you'll break on through to sexy.
I play both sides of the spectrum. I can be really cutesy and all that jazz, but at other times I can be sexy as hell. It just depends on who I'm around and what mood I'm in. I used to be very very awkward because I had basically no confidence whatsoever. I would look in the mirror and hate what I saw, because I felt like every other girl was prettier than me because they had a boyfriend.
But as soon as I started believing in myself, I started noticing that guys noticed that. They noticed me. And when I wasn't expecting it, bam. Boyfriend.
A good thing to remember is that relationships always pop up when you're not looking for them.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 6:26 pm
Seriously, you have some really beautiful features, Shampoo! Look in a mirror and notice 'em, why don't 'cha?!
First off, you have a great smile. It lights up your whole face when you do. You can also make some of the best faces I've seen in photos and still pull it off... I look like a dipshit in most photos of me. And in those videos of you on stage, you seemed to have so much confidence, even dressed up as a frumpy crazy person, you looked great.
Also: I've forgotten to mention in every other thread how pretty Jesus looks in her profile pic.... so I will point that out here! Oh my god, sexy!
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:22 pm
Thankies Ghosty!
biggrin
We did family portraits for Christmas.
That was one of my solo shots.
I had one other solo shot that turned out good.
I looked crappy in all the family ones. We're gonna reshoot. She was a crappy photographer.
Oh, and my pants fell while I was walking to where she wanted me to pose and we were in public place. I was like "OMG! MY PANTS PANTSED ME! D:".
It was kind of funny.
That happened at school once too.
sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:28 pm
Jesus_vs_Godzilla Thankies Ghosty! biggrin We did family portraits for Christmas. That was one of my solo shots. I had one other solo shot that turned out good. I looked crappy in all the family ones. We're gonna reshoot. She was a crappy photographer. Oh, and my pants fell while I was walking to where she wanted me to pose and we were in public place. I was like "OMG! MY PANTS PANTSED ME! D:". It was kind of funny. That happened at school once too. sweatdrop
lol, my pants fall when I go up my stairs... but otherwise I'm holding them up. I've had them at my ankles by the time I got to the top, though... as I have less mighty hips compared to my waist.
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 8:59 am
It was a present from my aunt.
Otherwise we wouldn't have done it.
I usually fall down stairs.
I have to be so careful or I'm like *owtumbletumbleowthat'smylegowtumble*
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 9:37 pm
Ill be blunt when i say its true, most guys are total dicks. Not all of them, but a good proportion are and they look at everything like osme kind of game just to get sex as much as they can.
Im not gay or anything, but i honestly prefer to hang out with girls more than guys just because girls are just more fun to be with. I hear some of the things guys say around my school and they just sound so ******** stupid. I only have a few close guy friendsbecause they relate how i feel to this factor to.
Dont even worry about what soem assholes say, look at yourself everyday and say "Hey, you know what? I AM beautuiful! I know its true! And shampoo, im 100 percent sure you are beautiful and cute and all that. And your going out wiht fuzzy necromancer! Congrats!!!
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