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Blood Reign

Welcome to the thread for Bloody Reign. Here, I will go into in-depth detail for the story line, the characters, the basic feelings, minor plot twists and anything else that is relevant to this soon-to-be manga. I invite you to read on and to help me create the world of Bloody Reign.

C&C greatly appreciated!

^^

Much love,

The Onigiri and Nezumi

Story Introduction/Plot Line

This is the basic idea or story for Bloody Reign. The title is not yet set and could change, but for now, I will call it as so. Below you will find: the summary on the back cover that draws you in, a more detailed story line [I'm not giving things away], the map of events for the first chapter, and what part in the story each character will play.

Summary

Akane Ishikawa [石川 茜] is swept in a bloody, murderous mystery when her picture is found at the scene of an assassination. She's suspected as the next victim to the infamous assassin, Rin [翼], but the pattern seems to have been broken. The ever-cheerful Akane, however, tries not to worry as she continues her school life. Soon, the incident with her picture is shoved to the back of her mind as high school issues pop up and she sucked into a whirlwind of drama.

For Rin, life isn't so carefree. It seems a rival assassin is out to kill her, not only on orders, but also for revenge. Can her masked identity stay a secret any longer and should she continue the only trade she's ever known when the stakes are so high? Blood is spilled and hearts are broken in Bloody Reign.

Detailed Story

Akane Ishikawa has our typical high school-girl life of crushes, dates, friend and homework. She has a group of loyal friends that she hangs out with all the time and she's even got a cute crush. One day, she picks up the paper and sees her favorite picture of her deceased mother and herself together. She's shocked and looks around the apartment room she lives in, frantically searching for the beloved photograph. When she doesn't find it, she resigns to the fact that her picture was left at the scene. No matter how much she wants to worry, she has to continue her school life, and does, appearing surprisingly at ease and calm about the situation. At least a whole lot more so than her peers. The police are trying to figure out when Rin will make her next move since they want to catch the assassin who has been terrorizing the city for a little over 2 years. To solve the case, they need Akane's help, but she seems reluctant, almost unwilling to give away information about herself.

Meanwhile Rin has gone quiet as word of a rival assassin out to get her reaches her employer. She must continue her duties and at the same time avoid getting killed. She has always worn a feathered mask to hide her identity while on missions and has yet to loose the mask. Her life is a game of Cat and Mouse and now she's no longer sure which she is, the hunter or the hunted. She's a legend, but legends aren't always good. Mystery shrouds her whole being, not even her employers know what happened in her past to make her choose this path and they know almost nothing about her current life. All they know are her identity and her skill, that's it and that's all the want or need. To loose their best assassin yet would be a tragedy, but to loose her to a rival "player" would be humiliating.

First Chapter

This will come up shortly.

Character Parts

As I create the characters and perfect them, I will add their stories here.

Messages/Emotions

I don't want this to be your normal shojo manga with the romance and the drama. Though those are two of my favorite genres, I want this manga to have more depth to it and to have some hidden messages that will later make sense. I have another manga concept that is kinda like a never-ending story and of rebirth, but never perfection, though that's besides the point. I think that manga's should give the reader's something other enjoyment and I hope that I can envoke emotions within the readers.

Messages

- You can't always hide from what you fear.
- Things are not always as they seem.
- Don't judge people when you don't know them.
- Death is strong, but love is stronger.
- Your life can crumble in a second, it's your choice to continue living and build it up again or to die in its ruins.

Emotions

- Pity
- Sadness
- Joy
- Love
- Anger/Rage
- Contempt
- Anguish

I already have some basic plot events planned and I don't see the story having a happy ending, at most it will be bitter-sweet. Even then, I don't think that the readers will see it as bitter-sweet, only sad. I don't intend to leave the readers smile and cheerful, but anguishe, maybe crying, and having a sense of pity. If they feel happiness for anything other than the fact they finished it or they feel contempt at other's sadness, they're not human.

That's what I hope to be able to do with this manga: to move people to tears.

Reserved

Reserved for later use.

Reserved

Reserved for later use.

The Good: I really like stories with two completely different characters in very different situations, and they somehow connect. The mystery of the normal girl leaves viewers begging for more, and the assassin mystery balances it out and adds a flair of action. You really thought this one out!

The So-So/Needs More Thought: The messages, although classic, is overplayed way too much. I'm not asking to change them completely, but sometimes stating the symbolism and themes of the story kills its magic. When working on your actual manga, try to keep those themes more subtle.

Same goes with the emotions. Almost every story, whether it's comedy, drama, or something in between, contains those emotions. Every well-planned character or characters all have the ability to show all those listed emotions, plus more. If the emotions are more of a theme that is different, but all dynamic characters should be able to display them.

The Bad: I have absolutely no idea where this is taking place. Describe the setting? I'm suspecting modern Japan, but you should say a thing or two about the background of the story. Time period? Place? Any political events going on? Is it an alternate world where something that we know changed drastically?

I'll also state this before RedSparrow rants about it (XD sorry Red), and this is probably the most common complaint anyone gives when it comes to new manga stories. Don't use Japanese names unless you know Japan. Use something that you're more familiar with, such as North America. Unless you lived in Japan for at least 2 years and know the customs, the views, the history, etc. it would be better to work with a more familiar setting. Schoolgirls live in America too!

It's good that you used a name-definition site to find appropriate names, but the problem is more of familiarity with the culture, or lack of. I have two friends taking (Advanced) Japanese 3 but both of them agree that it's impossible to fully understand Japan unless you live there.

There's a huge difference between reading and studying the customs than actually living through it. Having an obsession is one thing, but sometimes an obsession blinds us from what is fact and what is fantasy. I used to have the same Japan-obsession, and I thought I knew everything about Japan. I went to Little Tokyo in Los Angeles every weekend, I bought dozens of culture books, and I even got myself a cloth yukata. However, when I slowly moved away from my obsession with Japan, I learned far more about it than I ever did. Take away the bias and you'll understand the country better.

Also, I have nothing against choosing a setting that one understands and knows fully. If you understand China better than Japan, perhaps it would be a more ideal setting.

(the more I think about it, the more I have no idea if RedSparrow is the more strict one when it comes to this subject o_o)
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Anyway, on with emotions. To evoke that many emotions in a reader can be very difficult, but the main trend I'm noticing is that stories that are able to evoke any sort of strong emotion had a strong connection with the viewer. The viewer could relate with the character in some way, they essentially become the character when they are reading it. However, I have little idea how to evoke such emotions, because I am still a developing writer.

Well, maybe except anger/rage. Hand an unknowing child a bomb that will explode in 5 seconds will make anyone hate the villain. razz

@The Villain Thing - It's from the "Untouchables" Movie. A girl goes into a drug store to fetch some medicine for her sick mother, and converses with the guy at the counter. She notices there are two men sitting at the counter who are smoking. When she continues to talk to the store owner, the two men are gone, however, they left their briefcase. The girl is alarmed and takes the briefcase and from the store door yells out "Mister Mister! You left your case here! Mister!" The camera pulls back to show the store from the outside with the girl calling out to the two mysterious men.

The store explodes.

And this was all over alcohol. When I first watched this, I was absolutely horrified. But then again, Stephen King calls Disney's "Bambi" the scariest movie in the world.
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The layout for this thread is a bit long, and from my experience about this guild, people tend to look away when there is...
1. Too much writing
2. Too many posts (looks like a lot of people already commented, so they don't feel obligated to look)

You could re-do the whole thread and I'll delete this one. But, that seems like a waste really. :/