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i-- M a r i e --i

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:37 am


Like many poeple here, i'm a closet witch.I wouldn't even dare to call myself a witch.I feel like just a person who studies on it.My only source is internet, and ofcourse, my mentor.I cannot lend any books from the library because i'm too afraid my mom would find them.I have no friends or poeple i know from the area,who i could go to when i would want to read more books or practice.I did try to look up poeple of my age who live in my neighbourhood, but i'm a bit too shy to really meet those poeple, XD.

But i only know my mentor on MSN.


At the beginning i felt that i was starting to connect to the goddess and the spiritual world, but that feeling is gone.Our house is always full of poeple, and i live in the city, there are not many parks where i can be alone.

Also, everyone keeps telling me about "witchcraft is bullshit, it makes no sense...".etc...It makes me question my faith.And i don't want that.

So i ask you, does anyone has ideas ? To make me feel more connected, to learn, to experiece?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:36 am


Okay, first off, you don't have to practice Witchcraft to be Wiccan or to worship the God and Goddess. It's not a requirement. I, for one, don't practice Witchcraft and still worship them. Witchcraft should have no effect on your faith in the gods.

Second, they probably think it's bs because they don't know any real facts about it. They probably think that Witchcraft is like Harry Potter, Charmed, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. And it's not. Just... no. That's horribly wrong.

Don't let others influence your beliefs.

dark_angel_32189


Lucifer Kiss

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 1:16 pm


And Love Said No...
i have to agree, people always mock or hurt things that are different and that they don't understand, they don't know what it really is, if you know, and you believe don't let others influence you to stop.

its your life, and people will always say things, but its your life, and your path, so if you want to follow it, or change it, it is only your decision, let no one sway you


some ideas to get more in touch with yourself and the goddess, you could sit in your room right before you go to bed or sometime through out the day, and think about what happened that day, just take time to your self and sit there alone, think about nature and try to be calm

also if parks are a problem, maybe you could convince your mom or family to go on a camping trip, while your doing that you could take a walk by your self

and wicca is every where and in everything, especially with the season coming up, open up and embrace it ^_^

and i wish you luck with your path and decisions User Image
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 1:44 pm


Most of the things people say about wicca is a load of bricks.. *bites lip* They speak out of ignorance. Although I've felt your pain. I did find forums and local people that practiced, and by local I mean in a 30 mile radius, I was really surprised at how helpful a lot of people are and without having to get face to face. Much later I started meeting people, this being a digital age, there is a lot that we can accomplish using it as a tool. Remember it's about what you feel. it's your belief not theirs...

Deilusia

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i-- M a r i e --i

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:14 pm


Thanks guys^^.Camping trips is kinda out of the question for my parents, we do go to the beach sometimes, and then it's just wonderfull to sit on the wavebreakers(( don't exactly now the english, word, those rocks piled up in the sea.)) and look at the waves crash into the stones, and to let the wind play with your hair...

Untill the little kids start nagging that they want to play XD.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:44 pm


I used to be very open about my beliefs - until my husband nearly had a mental breakdown over it (seriously). Then it was back in the closet for me. That was almost 6 years ago and I will tell you now what I told the rest of my circle then..."what is in my heart will never change". Do I long for the days when I could attend/perform full rituals - oh yes! But intention is really what counts the most, so even if you don't have any outward signs of your beliefs - it is what's in your heart that counts.

As has already been stated witchcraft doesn't necessarily have anything to do with Wicca and/or believing in the Goddess/God. Do I still do spells and such...sure. But for me "magic" is just a manipulation of the energy forces, so having to do formal rituals/spells are not really required. What makes something come to pass, is simply that I will it and that the Goddess allows it. Most of the time though I don't even think about using spells - I am a do-it-yourself sort of person. I am more likely to simply ask the Goddess for her blessing before undertaking a task.

It's sort of funny because my husband thinks that I am not a spritual person, but I am more so than almost anyone I know. I feel so deepy connected, it's almost scary. If I didn't have family or work, I'd likely be spending my entire life in contemplation of the mysteries. It makes it hard sometimes because my life is so hectic on a daily basis that I sometimes feel like I am going crazy because I cannot do what I'd really rather be doing. I just have to keep telling myself that one day it will all work out - maybe not in this lifetime - but one day!

So...don't give up. If you are truly connected, then don't let what others say affect you. They don't know anything - if they did they'd be joining you! There are many places online (like here) where you can meet with others who are like minded - it's not the same as being face to face (not even with webcams), but it definately makes it easier.

Blessed Be!

B

too2sweet

Tipsy Fairy


dark_angel_32189

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:26 pm


Quote:
I used to be very open about my beliefs - until my husband nearly had a mental breakdown over it (seriously). Then it was back in the closet for me.

So, does your husband not know about your religion? Or does he know and you just keep it on the down low, like you don't talk about it or worship anywhere around him?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:33 pm


I don't talk to him openly about it or do anything around him. I think for the most part he thinks I was just going through a phase. I still have all my books and tools and things, but they're the room I use as my home office and he rarely goes in there. I actully have somewhat of an altar (it's in serious need of re-arranging), but it looks more like just an artful display of collectibles. I know what it is, and that is what is important. On some level he may have an awareness, but now it's like a bad joke. "oh...your mom's such a witch!".... I think that if I had been practicing when we first met, it might have been ok, but since we had already been together for almost 7 years - he had a hard time understanding that I was still the same person. For me it was like finding a piece of me that had always been missing. The funny part is that it was always there, I just didn't know what it was. In college I took a course on religion and for my final we had to make up our own religion - mine worshipped the Goddess and held the mother earth (and all she contained) sacred - and celebrated the seasons under the full moon.

too2sweet

Tipsy Fairy


CosmicCrystal

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:47 pm


Family and friends can make spirituality very difficult. I have a great friend that went through the changing from Christianity to Wicca/New Age with me, and that made it so much easier. I am very lucky, however, she does not live here now, and there is no one in town I am open with it about. We still talk and that helps, but also what helps is to just sit quietly, with soft music in the background (which might be particularly useful to help you block out the noises of a busy home. I typically use generic things like classical or new age), and meditate. I have a very busy mind, so I tend to pick a focus, often something as simple as "I want to feel connected". Goddess, angels, fairies, spirit guides, whoever is out there for you will respond. Sometimes working with my aura, cleansing it and such, will help reaffirm the connection to that spiritual place.

In addition, if you can't go to the elements, bring them to you! I am very lucky in that I own a horse, so I get to go visit him several times a week and be away from the city, but that is not enough for me. I have candles and flowers (especially dried ones, sometimes it is hard to always have fresh, but dried can feel nice too) all over my apartment. Sometimes when I am having trouble feeling connected or clear I will bring these in, along with a simple water element like a glass of water and focus on the air that is around me while I cast a circle to meditate in. These are things you can do without giving away your religion and at the same time enjoying its full benefits.

I hope this helps!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:01 pm


don't get any big ideas, they're not going to happen...
You can still most definitely feel a connection with the Divine in the city. There is energy in all things... the trick is knowing how to recognize it. Every brick in every building is of the earth. Every car on the street driven by combustion -- fire. The fountains in city squares or pools in parks are all water. And air is everywhere you walk, naturally. Embrace your city, and celebrate it -- it is alive with people, infused with their energy.

You could possibly do a throwback to ancient times and think of your city as infused with the spirit of its very own deity. Hey, it worked for Athens, right? When you're bored in class, and can afford to zone out for a bit, sit there and ground yourself into the school. Through the school, branch your roots to filter through the city. Feel the vibe of the city. What is it? Then, allow yourself to not think of it as a 'what', but a 'who'. This 'who' is the Spirit of your city. You need not worship this Spirit, but once you get a good relationship with the city Spirit, you can go through it in order to connect with the Divine.
...you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking.

Ich bin Q


i-- M a r i e --i

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:10 pm


Wow, thanks Ich Bin Nackt, that helped alot heart
And also thankies to CosmicCrystal Too2sweet and dark_angel.

My parents once asked me if i was wiccan, because my brother saw me surfing on a site about it , and went to tell them ((he is as old as me ^(^o^)^twins ! but he can be a terrible pain in the a** when he sees me meditating or anything.)).So they kept asking if i was.I lied and said 'no' because i know how she would respond.So yeah, i can't even meditate, or my brother comes in disrupting the whole thing, and goes to tell my parents.Ofcourse there's no harm in them knowing that i'm meditating, but i don't think they even agree with that.

Also, there's only a thin wall between my brothers room and mine, so he can hear everything i do, and when he does, he comes storming in and makes fun of me for this, or that.

I'm just going to tell them i'm doing yoga XD
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:00 am


In the closet is a waiting game. I managed to stay quiet for 3 years. You can get through this time period. You said that you don't want to question your faith, it can actually be a very useful tool. If you question your faith and come up with answers that are honest to yourself then you'll learn what you truely believe AND have answers for other people when THEY question your faith.

-Rowena

dragonwings87


i-- M a r i e --i

PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:56 am


Thanks, that was quite usefull^^
PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:08 pm


i-- M a r i e --i
Like many poeple here, i'm a closet witch.I wouldn't even dare to call myself a witch.I feel like just a person who studies on it.My only source is internet, and ofcourse, my mentor.I cannot lend any books from the library because i'm too afraid my mom would find them.I have no friends or poeple i know from the area,who i could go to when i would want to read more books or practice.I did try to look up poeple of my age who live in my neighbourhood, but i'm a bit too shy to really meet those poeple, XD.

But i only know my mentor on MSN.


At the beginning i felt that i was starting to connect to the goddess and the spiritual world, but that feeling is gone.Our house is always full of poeple, and i live in the city, there are not many parks where i can be alone.

Also, everyone keeps telling me about "witchcraft is bullshit, it makes no sense...".etc...It makes me question my faith.And i don't want that.

So i ask you, does anyone has ideas ? To make me feel more connected, to learn, to experiece?
It is never about whether you are alone or with another.
Whether one believes or many believe our faith and religion is false.
It does not matter.
Finding that happiness and that faith and belief is something you can simply ask for.
Consult the lord and lady about it.
Ask for help.
I promise they will lend their hands to you, unless it is not meant to be.
But I would ask.
Asking is the best way to turn.

Wraith_92


isidar_mithram

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:34 am


i-- M a r i e --i


My parents once asked me if i was wiccan, because my brother saw me surfing on a site about it , and went to tell them ((he is as old as me ^(^o^)^twins ! but he can be a terrible pain in the a** when he sees me meditating or anything.)).So they kept asking if i was.I lied and said 'no' because i know how she would respond.So yeah, i can't even meditate, or my brother comes in disrupting the whole thing, and goes to tell my parents.Ofcourse there's no harm in them knowing that i'm meditating, but i don't think they even agree with that.

Also, there's only a thin wall between my brothers room and mine, so he can hear everything i do, and when he does, he comes storming in and makes fun of me for this, or that.

I'm just going to tell them i'm doing yoga XD


You know...maybe you could take up yoga? Or just go for a walk/run. And keep meditating. Maybe even block the door with something while you do blaugh You can say the meditation is to help with stress (at school, if you're at school -and then you can say a teacher recommended it to to you..) Tell your mum you're just curious about other religions (of course, maybe look up some others as well so you don't have to lie through your teeth). I'm sure you can find a time when you're just alone. Whether it's before you go to sleep, or after doing homework...or going out to buy something etc.

And, the internet is a fabulous resource. You can find what you want when you want. Books are harder. So, don't feel that you're not learning. Maybe..keep a journal and write in it when you have time, and ask yourself questions.

Just do what you can for now, even just quick prayers when you wake up, or...in the shower....since I'm SURE you'd be alone then.. After awhile, you'll find what's right for you.
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