Guy problems... Help?? | Page 1 | The Purple Penguin Society-A Female Only Guild | Guild Forums

Katlyn-Bunny

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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:12 pm

Ok, I currently like 2 guys right now nad I can't chose which one I like more. I want to protect their identaties and I will make up fake names. One will be "Zian" and the other "Zon" Ok, here is my problems:

Well, I have liked Zian for about 3 years now. I like him a lot and he's really cute. He is about 4 inches shorter than me though. I don't really care about hight very much since I am very tall. But the thing is, he has asked me if I liked him before and I was too shy to say yes. I pretty much wound up screaming NO!! at him when he asked me, he just surprized me when he asked that. I don't know if I would like to be boy-friend/girl-friend with him because he is sorta popular and I'm not really that popular, I perfer my group of friends. So Zian may never find out how much we means to me. We used to be pretty good friends and then when we got to middle school, all that changed. I really like him still but I don't know, I think I like him less since I started liking Zon.

Now about Zon, I have pretty much known him since the beginning of this year and I really like him. Yes, I think he is cute and really funny. He makes me laugh everyday and makes me smile every time I look at him. When I was partners with him in class, I heard him talking to some of his friends about what he likes in a girl. He said "I like a gril who has a good laugh." Or something close to those words. He also says that he doesn't like going out with his friends because when you brake up, you can't be friends anymore. But then he said that he would never say no to anyone because he doesn't want to hurt their feelings. So what do I do, ask him out and risk our friendship or should I just go on being friends with him and see if he'll ask me out??

OK, this is very hard on me, I told my friend that I like these people and she was one of the only ones who knew. Then, at Choir, a girl I don't really know tricked me into telling her who I liked. She said she was going to tell me who liked me if I told her who I liked. So I did and she said "I don't know who likes you" I got really mad at her. Now she is joking around saying she is going to tell someone who I like. If it wasn't bad enough, another girl in my class -who is also in my choir- figured out who I liked before I told the other girl in choir. Then today, this boy in my class was guessing who I liked and guessed the right one, and then the first girl, who found out who I liked, in my class pretty much told him that I like Zon and now the boy is saying that he is going to tell Zon that I like him!! He says that I should just ask out Zon because he is going to tell Zon anyways but I can't, I'm too shy and scared of what he'll say. On top of it all, I'm not allowed to date yet, I am allowed to go on a group date as long as there is a parent there, which is totally annoying.

Also, I need some more help. I just don't know how to kiss -well, I know how to kiss- but I have never kissed a boy on the lips before. I can't picture myself kissing any boy in my head. It's very weird. I'm also freaked out at the thought of making out with a boy. What should I do, how can I practice and become more confident??

Is there anything else I'm leaving out?? I don't think so. But keep checking back to see if I think of anything or something.

HELP!!!

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:14 pm

Thanks for all the help that's going to come.

Katlyn-Bunny

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Sailor_Chibi

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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:00 am

Eto.... Well, let's guess over things one at a time, ne?

Zian - From the sound of it, you like Zian more as a friend than a love interest. You're making excuses to not like him romantically [his height, even though you say it doesn't matter, and his popularity]. I think maybe when you first began to like him, you liked a lot, but as time went by your feelings settled down into more of friendship. In my opinion, you don't like Zian "that way". That's how your post makes it seem, anyway.

Zon - Friends becoming more can be risky, because there is the chance to destroy the friendship if the relationship goes downhill. Having said that, only you can decide if trying a relationship is worth it. If you guys became romantically involved and you broke up, could you bear not having him as a friend? If the answer is yes, then you might consider asking him out. Boys are not mind-readers; Zon might like you and be as scared as you are. The worst that can happen is that he says no.

The girls [and boy] in your class - Heeeeh, the old "I'm going to tell so-and-so that you like him" thing. I don't think you should worry as much. So what if they tell Zon? Doesn't that solve your problem since he'll know how you feel and can then act accordingly? Ne, ne, most of the time that is a false threat anyway. If it's not, there's not a lot you can do about it, but I wouldn't be too worried.

Not being allowed to date - Ano... Doesn't this kind of put a dampener on all of your problems? If you're not allowed to date, it doesn't really matter who you like or if he likes you because you're not allowed to do anything about it. Of course, you could secretly date, but I guess that depends on how much your parents enforce that particular rule.

Kissing - I've never kissed a boy, either. You sound fairly young [sorry if you're not], so chances are, Zon has never kissed anyone, either. The first time you kiss someone, you usually don't start making out. Kissing will happen gradually, and as you become more comfortable, you can eventually progress to more intimate levels. Besides that, there is no right or wrong when it comes to kissing. Every person is different, so every person will like something different.

I hope that helps. Good luck!

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:58 pm

Thanks, that helps a lot. But now i have updates from today:

OK, well the boy who knew that I liked Zon found out that I like Zian too. Also, another boy (Who is like best friends with zian) found out that I like zian. So now the boy that is best friends with zian is saying that he is going to tell zian and I think he is serious!! Also, the first boy did tell Zon that I like him but Zon didn't really care, or he didn't hear, I don't know, now pretty much everyone is going to know that I like Zian and zon. I really think I like zian. I'n not trying to make excusses, I really like him, but I don't know what to do!! It's soooo confusing. oh well, they're going to find out soon anyways.

Ok, new thing to talk about. Well, since zian has asked me if I liked him bofore and I said no, then what am I going to say now if he asks me again?? I mean, I can't say no because his best friend would have told him that I like zian. Soooo, what am I going to say?? Should I just say yes or just try and advoid him for a while until he forgets all about it??

Today was early release so I had no lunch and I couldn't talk to my friends about this and so I'm going to tell them tomorrow but when I go outside and see zian or zon, what am I going to do?? Should I try to advoid them or should I just stay really close to my friends or should I just let them come up to me and talk to me or should I just stay inside?? But zon is normally inside and zian is normally outside!! So I can't go to either place!! But I have to go to one of them!! I think I'm going to ge outside and just try to stay near my friends and just stay away from zian. Does that sound like the right thing to do??

Thanks for all the help.

Katlyn-Bunny

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The Shindig

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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:32 pm

Well, I'm not going to
reply to your first post
because Chibi already
said what I wanted to say.

About your second
post, though...

First of all, I wouldn't
suggest avoiding them.
Just act like you usually
do. You can still be
friends with them, even
if they know that you
like them. If you avoid
them, they'll just think
that you're weird and
they'll probably lose
interest in you.

If either of them wants
to talk to you, go ahead.
Just because you're talking
it doesn't mean that you're
going to talk about who you
like or something like that.

I agree with Chibi when
she said that it's not that
big of a deal if everybody
knows that you like them.

If it's inevitable, then just
act like you don't care if
they find out.

If you have no idea at all
who you like better, don't
expect too much of either
of them, even if they like
you back.

Try to find out who you
care about more in a
more-than-friends way,
before you make any
moves towards them.

If Zian asks you if
you like him again
say something like
"yeah, I do, but I'm
not sure if I want us
to be anything other
than friends".
It's not a lie, and it
gets your point across.

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