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It had taken him the better part of the next day to find out where his son was located. He lost track of how many soquili and creatures alike that he had to bully for the information. Okay, most of them hadn't known anything but abusing them had still been fun. He knew that Ezriel couldn't be far off because his scent was one of many the lingered in the air. He would prefer to get this over as quickly as possible as he was sure that Nimue was already awake. Hopefully, she wouldn't hold it against him. He WILL have that conversation with her, one way or another.

His wounds hurt like hell this morning, almost as if they knew the fight that could possibly come. He would be feeling it more later. He hated being at that particular disadvantage but he had learned to harness the pain as much as possible.

"Ezriel," he called, hoping his son was within distance to hear. Perhaps he already knew he was here and was watching from some crop of trees or the shadows of the woods in the distance. "Ezriel, get your sorry a** out here."

He stomped at the ground with his hooves and whipped his tail about in a threatening manner. If his son did not come out to face him like a proud stallion, he would hunt him down like the coward he would be. He would have no reason to honor his promise either and might just kill that pansy brother of his as well. He wanted to have a new batch of offspring, some with Nimue and if he got his way, he would no longer need his son. He would not need any of them. They were all worthless anyway. Ezriel had promise but even he had ended up falling short.

"Ezriel!"

At last his son was before him. A feeling came over him that he couldn't quite place and he had a fleeting thought of his father. Now was not the time for haunting memories. It wasn't like that. This was an entirely different situation.

"Son," he started, though the word probably felt as foreign to Ezriel as being called dad had been to him, "I have come to find out what is between you and this mare, Nimue." The large stallion saw no reason not to be bluntly honest with his son, "If anything is between you, I ask you to step down as I wish to make her mine. I do not like that she speaks of you. If you step down, I will go. If you tell me there is nothing between you, I will go. I seek nothing more than assurance that she and you will never come to be."

He hoped it could be so simple. He really felt something with Nimue. It wasn't love, there was no way such a thing could be possible in such a short time and after one chance meeting. But there was some connection there and he would be damned if he lost the one thing he had felt in his entire time in this land. He really saw himself having foals with her one day, raising them to stand by his side. She was perfect for that. She was beautiful, she was dark, she knew pain and harshness of both this world and the one above. It felt like she understood him. No other mare could come close to that. It wasn't possible. He couldn't let her go now that he found her.

Dare he be selfish? The last time he wanted something.. wanted to live, he had to kill his father. Now that he wants this mare, would he have to kill his son? For anything good to happen to him, did someone always have to die? He hoped that would not be the case. Surely his life could not be so cursed.

Again memories of his father, Raguel, came to plague him. The stallion clenched his teeth in anger. If worst came to worst, he would see that Ezriel would not fall. He could not stand to see the death of his son as he had to with his own father. Ezriel looked so much like him.

No, he would not become his father. He would not wish death upon his own son. He felt ashamed that he had in the past. Whatever comes, he will let Ezriel live.

'What do you know of love,?" he retorted. There was no way there could be love between him and his ebony haired mare. If there had, she would have mentioned it, surely. He was not sure Nimue even believed herself capable of love. He was fairly certain his son didn't know it either. He probably felt what he did. A kindred bond with Nimue, an understanding that seemed so rare in this world. But it was more rare for him than it was for his son. His son had friends. His son had family. Reaper did not have those things.

"Half the damn mares in this godforsaken land will probably see more to you once they get beyond the initial glance. Looking like a monster does not make you one. You have no idea what it's really like. If you think your life is hard just for being my son, imagine what it's like being ME." His son did not know what it was liked to kill a loved one, especially a parent. Though perhaps if things did not go well today, he would learn it the hard way.

He was sure his son was too angry to see reason, to even try to understand. As usual with his life, the worst would come to pass. As he worried, Ezriel did feel something more than friendship for Nimue and was prepared to fight to protect it. Reaper could respect that. His son was handling this as a stallion should.

As such, a part of him wanted to leave. He didn't want to cause that kind of pain for his son but he too wanted Nimue. He felt differently when he was around her. He didn't feel like he was a monster. Unlike Ezriel, he really was one. Every day of his life is a painful experience, both emotionally and physically. Doesn't he deserve a little happiness? Or at the very least, contentment?

He was tired of facing disappointment upon disappointment in his life. Didn't he at least deserve a fair chance with Nimue? Perhaps she wouldn't even care to hear what he had to say but still.. he had a right to try for her as did any stallion. He hoped that Nimue would understand that he did not have a choice in this matter. Both he and his son were too stubborn. If the situation wasn't as threatening as it was, it probably would have brought a hint of a smile to the older stallion's face.

"I understand, son."

Once the words were spoken, he charged forth. When he was near his son, he reared back on his hind legs and kicked out with the front. He tried to keep the kicks low so they spikes would not strike his son's face. He would try not to cause any mortal wounds but he wasn't about to go easy on his son either.

"DO NOT SPEAK TO ME AS IF I HAVE NO CONCEPT OF LOVE." Reaper was growing angry, more angry than he had ever been before, "Just because you see a monster before you, and have come to despise me, it does not mean that I am everything you make me out to be. You don't know a damned thing about me. Yes, I raped your mom. I left her for dead. I did not know her and I am a beast. That cannot be changed. Hate me for it but it's who I am. It does not mean that I am like that all the time. I had a family too. I knew love too. Despise me if it makes you feel better, but if that had not happened, you, your brother and sister would be here today. s**t happens but look at the reality of it all. Look at what goes on around you every day with the Kalona and the Skinwalkers. While I have sinned, I have not continued to make life miserable for your mother. I have stayed away from her when the mere sight of me could give her nightmares. I am not the complete b*****d you make me out to be."

His speech was interrupted as he felt the blow from his son. He had to lower his body back to the ground to keep from being knocked down which had brought some spikes dangerously close to Ezriel's own side. It didn't help with the ache his body already felt from the non-healable wounds. Once he had gained his balance back he kicked himself free and repositioned himself to face his son again.

"You are weak and it's a disappointment. You are made of better stuff than this. I was different, what did it get me? WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT GOT ME? IT GOT MY FATHER KILLED. IT GOT MY MOM STUCK IN THE HEAVENS WITH NO FAMILY LEFT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE'S STILL ALIVE OR IF THEY KILLED HER BECAUSE OF ME. IT GOT ME KICKED OUT OF THE ONLY HOME I REALLY KNEW. IT GOT ME THIS PAIN I FEEL EVERY ******** DAY OF MY LIFE." He hated losing his temper and tried to compose himself. "Do your spikes hurt, son?", he asked, his voice dripping thick with sarcasm, "Mine do. I wasn't born this way like you. My body will never be accustomed to their intrusion. This was a punishment, mine to bear. My torment and not a day goes by that every part of my body aches. Is this what you want, Ezriel? Do you want to be me?"

The stallion charged at his son at an angle, trying to keep as much of his spikes out of the way as possible and attempted to hit his son head on from the side. However, he did swing his tail around with the smaller spikes and aimed it towards Ezriel's hind leg. Though he hated the idea of really hurting his son, he knew that it would put him at a disadvantage and he did have the unicorns at his disposal for healing.

"Be like me then," he stated coldly. "Kill your own father out of self defense like I had. Ignore the fact that you have a choice. You could leave. You could spare yourself a lifetime of regret. I thought I hated my father too. He wasn't much of a father. I disappointed him. I wasn't nothing like he respected so he and a group of others decided I didn't have the right to live. If I truly wanted you or your siblings dead, do you think I would let a promise stop me? DO YOU REALLY? Nimue is not lost. She is not love. But maybe she could be. Maybe she could be something important to me. You'd never understand her. You could try, but you wouldn't know what she really went through. I do. I went through it too."

"I am not trying to hurt you." Of course, the statement held irony to it as Reaper was at this moment hurting Ezriel but it had a deeper meaning than the physical pain the two were visiting upon the other.

"Then why didn't you join me at my side?," he yelled angrily, "If you wanted to learn so much about me, why didn't you join me?" It pissed him off to hear such words from his son, but he damn well didn't care enough to take him up on his offer. He could have had plenty of time to get to know him. But no, it seemed his son wanted the typical father. Someone loving and kind, to what, teach him out to hunt? Nuzzle him and tell him what a great job he's doing? Bullshit. Reaper would never be that kind of father. His way of life wasn't good enough for his son.

He didn't believe what his son was saying. If he wasn't made out to be a monster, or a b*****d, then where did all this resentment come from? Even now his son was most likely ready to kill him if the chance presented itself.

The force of the blow caused Reaper to sidestep a few paces away. The front leg near where he was hit had nearly buckled from the pain and Reaper had to shift his weight to the other side to keep from collapsing. He had to give his son credit, he was strong as well as stubborn.

"I waited for you. I started thinking how nice it would be to have a son at my side. You never came. I never hated you. I hate that I had not known about you until you had grown. I hate that you share my curse. I hate that you will never be accepted by the gods because you are my son. I hate that you will never have a fair chance that you are my son. I hate that all of you will never have an easy life because you are mine. You will be shunned, you will be ostracized, you will be distrusted, you will never be accepted like I had never been accepted. All because you are mine."

Reaper was bleeding more than usual from the wounds that would never hear because of the spikes. It seemed that the fight was taking it's toll on his body. How he wished for the day that they would no longer hurt. No longer bleed. To be away from the punishment that was placed on him.

"I'm your father in blood only," he gritted out. "It would never work out. I would only sicken and disgust you all because of what I do. They are better off where they are. You.. I thought you might have been different but now I am not sure. You may look like me.. but you have a heart. I don't want to change. I can't change. This is what I am. This is what I have always been. If I could be good, don't you think I would have? I'd never have hurt my mother, I'd never have killed my father or the others. But this is what I am and I like it this way. I.. would like a family, but it would never work out with you three, because you were raised good. It never works out when things are so different. I know. I am not the kind of father you need. All I could ever bring you is shame. Go home to your family. Hate me. Blame me for taking Nimue. Get better, stronger, and come back and take her from me. Resent me. Hunt me down and kill me. But for now, just go home."

It was hard for him to make his next move and not just physically. He felt like he had little choice in the matter. He lowered his head and charged at his son with as much force as his body could muster and aimed low with his two biggest horns, aiming for his shoulder area. He didn't want to hit anything vital and though he would most likely limp, he should still make it back to the damn unicorns.

The exchange between his son was cutting deep into his heart. He wanted to be a father. He really did. Some of Ezriel's words rang true. He stalked them at first to kill them, but it wasn't out of meanness. They reminded him of his punishment, his curse, and he hated the idea of it passing on to them. He could see it in all of them. Meera had the tail as did Ezriel and both Ezriel and Dante had the spikes. They'd never be accepted and chances are, the Angeni and gods would not take kindly to their existence either. They could have hard lives and it's all his fault. He thought killing them was for the best, but then Meera reminded him of his mom, Dante reminded him of the other Angeni and Ezriel reminded him of himself. After that, he couldn't bring himself to such thoughts again. They had become family. That did not mean he had to let them know. He wouldn't get close to them, if he did, they might be bigger targets to those that wanted him to pay for what he had done. Hating him might spare them.

At least with Nimue, the kids would have strong Angeni blood and be well protected. They could be raised by him to be strong. They would have angeni blood, despite both parents being cast away. They'd be pure enough to stand a chance of survival if ever they came for them. Of his first batch, Ezriel was the only one that could really protect his siblings. He had to be there for them, just in case. There was no telling what the gods would do. What the Angeni would do. He had caused so much hell for them all.

Reaper pulled himself free from his son and dropped down to the ground beside him. The sorrow he felt over what he had just done was too much for his already battered and pained body to bear. He had to close his eyes to keep from crying. He had not cried since he was a foal. He told himself that he would never allow anyone to hurt him again but it was hard to control the flood of emotion that came over him.

He knew that his son might not be able to hear him as it seemed he lost consciousness but he started speaking to him all the same, "Good and evil.. it doesn't work, Ezriel." It was barely over a whisper and the words held a hint of defeat, "I learned that a long time ago. Love is not enough. Those pure of heart cannot condone the actions of those like me. I walk a dark path. It never works out. It always leads to someone getting hurt."

He leaned over and nuzzled his sons neck with his chin as the spikes on his head prevented anything more than such a simple gesture. The angle didn't help. "You need to wake up. Rest if you must but not for long. Wake up soon and get to your family. The unicorns can fix you up."

There seemed to be so much blood between the two of them. It looked so alien against the paleness of their bodies and the air was thick with the smell of it. "I was wrong when I said you were weak. If you lay here too long, you will lose so much blood and won't be able to make the journey back. It will attract predators as well and I don't know if you would be able to fend yourself off properly in this condition. Wake up, son. You can't get her back if you die. You can't protect your family if you die."

The fallen angeni pushed himself back up. "You can't continue to make me proud if you die," he added before he turned and walked away towards the woods nearby. He needed to find a safe place to rest. He didn't have unicorns that could heal him. He needed time to heal.

He also wanted to get away from his son for the tears had begun to fall.

What had he done?

The pain was too much. The walk to the woods seemed to take forever, each step causing his body to shudder with pain but once he was within the shelter of the trees, he stopped and turned. He would watch and wait. If any coyotes, wolves or worse came out to get his son, he would use the last ounce of life in him to protect him as much as possible. He would rest when he knew his son was safe.

He watched his son until he was no longer in sight before her let his eyes close and his body fall upon the earth. His body was not as strong as it used to be before he was punished. Once upon a time, he had taken on a group of angeni stallions, killing them all. His father was one of them and he was a damn good fighter. But since his punishment, his body could not take even a fraction of as much damage. The spikes were heavy and the pain was constant. It kept him in a weaker state.

He was still stronger than most though and the spikes did give him an advantage in battles, but he couldn't fly as long as most, he couldn't run as fast or long as most.

He was content at knowing Ezriel would be safe. That he would have mares that care for him and would help him get better. He would be back to his old self in no time with naught but a few scars to remind him, if that. He did not know how far the extent of a unicorn's healing ability reached. What he had caught of Korrine though, she didn't seem to have any heavily visible scars and he had left her a complete mess.

He hoped Nimue would forgive him for being absent a few more days. He couldn't let her see him like this. He needed to rest and heal up. Then he would bathe. His son didn't cut him up much so the majority of the damage will be internal. He was sure he had more than one rib that was at least cracked. He was used to pain though so really.. all he needed was to rest.

And that is what he did. He didn't seem to care if predators came after him. He positioned himself in a way that left most of his spiked body visible. Most creatures would avoid attacking in fear of getting impaled so he slept in peace.