[PRP] To find my place again || Ausi'juu & Sen

[Tahja Estes]

The last of her children had finally grown to adolescence, meaning that Ausi's days of mothering were technically over. She didn't doubt that it would probably be the last litter that she had, and the thought was eating away at her. True, she'd miss having little ones of her -own- to look after, but it was actually because her mate had not yet returned, and she now didn't think he ever would. The passion of the bond they'd formed seemed to be gone, dwindling more each passing day as the sun rose and set. There were many days that the darker female worried if he'd been injured, couldn't return, but somehow she'd always known when something like that happened. Mosi had promised to keep her updated as well, whenever she had visions or dreams of the missing grandfather, but the last that she'd heard from the scout, Daimyn should still be doing well.

No, Daimyn, Choa, Jing'fei, Sen, and Yue, all having left now, leaving Xu, Ai, and their younger brothers back in the Pridelands.

Perhaps it was simply time to follow their examples and move on, she said to herself that morning as she left the old family den, easing out of the shadow of the lip of pride rock to tred the familiar, worn morning path that she and some of her children would sometimes take to the watering hole.

Perhaps she just worried too much. No left, and returned, and she was doing well? If her family was happy then that was enough for her, but she still couldn't help but wonder when she didn't see them for months at a time. She should have gotten out more, not just with the immediate family, but nieces, nephews, grandcubs and great grandcubs, in laws as well.

"I'm too old to be this worn down." She sighed heavily, trying to chase off her distracting thoughts with a shake of her head.  

[Hopefolly]

Poor Sen was too brash and impulsive to realize what she'd missed out on following Mwokoti around, and more, depending on her. Mainly... hunting skills. Yes, even now, she couldn't catch anything to save her life. Not after just that one 'hunting class' with Ai as a cub.

Not only had she gone all that time without realizing she should probably learn to catch food for when Mwokoti stopped dropping it at her feet, she had left her provider and now found herself starving, dying even! --It was a little over-dramatic, fine, but she was reallyreally hungry!

No luck with the finding the parents either. Not a single one of her siblings had she been able to find. She wasn't looking for them, but still. You'd think she'd have found someone she knew by now! Stupid over-sized Pridelands.

Sen had already checked that stupid old den. Twice. It wasn't the search that prodded her to go back, but rather just that she needed a place to stay. Tomorrow she'd go back to her pride and wail at Yue about her surprise for him being ruined.

...Or maybe not.

A voice? Their mom's voice?

Sen hesitated around the entrance. She found herself tempted to run for a reason she didn't understand. "...Mom? Mom?"  

[Tahja Estes]

The voice that responded to her muttering was enough to make Ausi give pause. Had she been hearing things or was someone calling her? The voice not only seemed to be coming at her, but it also sounded strikingly familiar, like...

"Sen?"

It sounded quiet but incredulous, as any parent who thought their child had gone missing might sound. Ausi turned, looking and then turning in the direction that the other had been calling from. Had she set out only a bit earlier she probably would have missed Sen entirely!  

[Hopefolly]

It was her!

Sen's breath hitched. There were so many complications with the family, yet all she wanted to do was pounce her mother and nuzzle her. And maybe cry, if lionesses as important as her could cry. They couldn't. It was obviously some stupid Prideland dirt flying through the air that had made her eyes water for just that spilt second. Stay cool, Queen, stay cool.

Her lungs screamed at her and she realized she hadn't breathed in a while. Taking in a huge, shuddering gulp of air, she walked forward to her mother like a princess to peasent. It was that or the other option. That whole snugglesnuggle thing. That was not happening.

"I... Came to get you. And Dad. For Yue."  

[Tahja Estes]

Ausi felt her breath hitching also, though unknown to her it was almost simultaneous with Sen's, let alone that Sen's had at all. She had started to think she wouldn't see her daughters again for ages, and now first No, and then Sen!

A joyful cry started to build in her throat, but choked off before it even had a chance to break free, slowly fading, dying on her tongue as Sen greeted her, approached. There seemed to be something.............

... different.... about the way that Sen carried herself these days.

Realizing, or at least feeling as though her daughter didn't want a cuddly greeting from a relieved, worry-wart for a mother, she forced herself to calm. She smiled. It was sincere, she was happy to see her child again even if stalled by initial surprise and confusion. She did move with some certainty again after that, though, greeting Sen just as she had greeted No just a few weeks back, with a purr and a nuzzle of greeting first.

Afterwards, she moved back some, taking in Sen's words with a twitch of her tail. She was quite relieved to hear that Yue was alright as well, having feared the worst for both cubs at the time of their disappearance. However, Ausi had... not the best news to give Sen, sighing softly.

"I'm not sure where your father is. I wish I knew, but I haven't seen him since shortly after..."

She didn't want to finish that sentence, to say they'd disappeared made it sound like they'd abandoned the family, to say that they went missing made her feel even worse, as if she hadn't tried hard enough to find them. Even if she did what she could the mind tended to be the heart's own worst enemy, and sometimes the heart was it's own.

"I'm happy to see you again though, you're both well, then? It's been so long, just look at how you've grown!" She complimented proudly, smiling as some of the warmth returned to her tired eyes.  

[Hopefolly]

Sen didn't refuse her mothers affection, she just didn't see it as dignified to respond to it. Except maybe a little smile was alright. Just this one time. It jumped off her face quick enough. Dad had left, too? Where?

...After what? What had happened after they left? Very rarely, if ever, did Sen think about how her actions would effect anyone but her (and recently Yue). She never thought to suspect it was after they'd left, and not after something happened after that. "It doesn't matter," Sen decided aloud. If she could bring back one or the other, Yue would be happy.

'Well'? Talk about an understatement. Sen had never really been one to beat around the bush. This was taking far too long already! "Yes, we're both fine. Are you going to come?"  

[Tahja Estes]

Come... but, where? Oh, dear. Since Nukta, none of her children had been quite this to the point, except for possibly No when she was younger, and only that at times. When Sen cut straight to the matter at hand, Ausi was a llittle bit lost, or more than actually. She didn't want to sound as if she was shooting down this invitation, though where it was to she didn't know, but she did... want to find out, and she did want time to at least make some arrangement or say some goodbye.

"Come? Sen, come where? I'm not entirely sure of what's going on right now." She replied with a look of uncertainty.  

[Hopefolly]

In many ways Sen had changed, improved and grown. There were still flaws that Mwokoti had told her needed to be worked on. The main one was failing to realize what her flaws actually were. She didn't understand why it would be or see it as selfish when she found herself increasingly annoyed her mother didn't just agree and follow her. Were the other ones here more important than them?

"To my pride. --And Yue's pride." Another thing she needed to work on was the 'mine' stage she never completely grew out of. Constantly she reminded herself the pride was not just hers. .Sort of. "Yue and I are the... King and Queen, I guess." Titles, titles. "So, will you come?"  

[Tahja Estes]

It was almost instinct to say that she couldn't. She'd been mothering for so long that she almost forgot she didn't have any children to babysit anymore. They were all making lives for themselves now. That aside, this truly was incredibly sudden, no notice, no warning, just a simple question. Will you come or not? Ausi's head span a bit.

"Well... yes, alright, I'll come, but do we need to leave right this moment? I want to at least tell your aunt and brother that I'll be going... so someone knows, and can tell the others, your father and siblings if they come back." Disappearances -were- a bit too common in the family for any of the first generation's liking, but especially Ausi, after loosing Mosi (her first born son) and Nukta all those many, many months ago Nearly a year or two now, wasn't it?

But, once the question was asked, Ausi couldn't help but feel optimistic again, finding a purpose again, maybe, a job that she could do, some way to contribute to the pride would be wonderful! Yes, Ai, Jing, No, Choa, Daimyn, even Sen and Yue had found their places, it was time for her to refind hers.  

[Hopefolly]

"I can send someone to get you, but I have to leave tomorrow morning." She really didn't mean to sound so rushed. She'd just never been good at sounding anything but what she felt. Was she rushed? Oh, hell yes. For a lot of reasons.

She settled with, "I have to get back to Yue." That was part of it. Only half way to the Pridelands did she realize that Hari lioness was... a little too perfect. And alone. With Yue. Sen adored Hari because she was everything her pride needed. Buuut moving in on her brother just... was not acceptable.

Hari could be friends with Yue, fine. From a distance. A far, platonic, work-only distance. Anything else didn't settle well with her, and she wasn't going to risk leaving them alone too long, even if Mwokoti would be there when she could.

It'd be fine. Because when Ausi got there, Yue would be too distracted. Not to mention very, very happy with Sen herself. "How long do you need?"  

[Tahja Estes]

To this Ausi gave a soft nod of understanding, just to show that she was listening, and understood what Sen said, or reasoned. She was currently quite oblivious to the fact that her son had seemingly discovered the opposite sex. It had come as quite a surprise to hear that Ai was spending his free time with Kat, not that Ausi minded in the least, it was just that she did tend to get distracted a bit here and there.

But back to the matter at hand.

"That's enough time for me to settle things here. I can set out with you in the morning."

She could tell that Sen was indeed in a hurry, and didn't want to hold her up. Too many times she'd felt like she'd lost her children, it made her, temporarily, soft, maybe something of a pushover right at the moment. Once things settled again she was sure to go back to her old self, and who knew? Maybe this would be better for her than anything else. Yes. Very much.  

[Hopefolly]

Sen was torn between excitement and dissapointment. Part of her didn't want to wait to surprise Yue. The other part had really, really wanted to be able to send Hari away for a while and going to get Ausi would have been perfect. Oh well. Maybe she'd send her to find Daimyn. She'd be gone forever that way.

"Alright, then we'll leave bright and early!" In an all too familiar scene, Sen waddled over to the exact same spot she had slept every night as a cub and plopped down there, asleep in a matter of minutes.
 

[Tahja Estes]

This did not escape Ausi's attention. She thought it was probably the most heartwarming thing she'd seen since the last time she saw her grandchildren, and she -had- to take advantage.

Once Sen was sound asleep, Ausi closed the distance between them, placing a much firmer and yet, more tender brush of affection against the younger female's head. They might not have the closest relationship, but Sen would always be her baby, her youngest daughter, and today her baby , one of her babies had come home.

It was a bit reluctantly that she turned to head out, setting out to take care of the things she needed to do, saying goodbye to Tai, she and Daimyn's nieces and nephews, saying goodbye to Ai and Kat, and the grandchildren, Mosi and Juhudi's family and Sheshe'kani and Bushido, and all of them as well. She'd ask Mosi to pass word to the queen since she doubted if she'd see her before they left.

They'd come here in search of her second son, and now that she was leaving, what a legacy they'd made in the Pridelands. Nothing famous, true, but quite a large branch of their family tree. She could just hope that this wouldn't be the last time she saw these lands.