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 Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:57 pm
Got these from someone in my thread. heart
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't ******** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the ******** down
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If you look at Chuck Norris while he is smiling, your entire family will get AIDS.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******** Indian.
Chuck Norris can win connect 4 in only 3 moves.
A lot of people wear superman pajamas, superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:06 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:04 pm
lol i once spent a day reading each and every one of those xD
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 8:33 pm
[ ] I've done that more than once. XD []
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Wakki Darkmoon Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:01 pm
Omg! never laughed so hrd
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