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SRSLY - Today, i'm walking to college and a girl walks up to me and says
"Lisa got hit by a car last night"
And was kinda tearful about it
Lisa was a friend of mine, used to hang out all the time, now, usually, people would reply
"Oh my god! Is she ok?!"
But I couldn't, I seem to lack that - I feel stupid acting like that.
I simply said
"Did she die?"
Then, once they'd replied with "No, she just broke her legs and her wrists"
I replied with
"Least she didn't die"
Then laughed >>;

And it's not just a new thing either, I mean, i've had this for ages - Like, one of my best friend's mum died a while back - And she was missing from School for like 3 Months out of sheer sadness.
And all I had to avoid her once she got back - Cos I felt so awkward - And once I'd gotten back to her after all that time, I couldn't ask her about how she felt. Just because.

I feel really bad about this whooooooooole entire thing - I mean, I can't even take sympathy, as much as i'd like people to go
"Oh are you ok?" And try to show sympathy, I always have to reply "Yup, fine" Even if i'm not, simply because I feel awkward taking sympathy.
Geeeeeeeeeeeeez, It's really get into to me >>;;
I guess this whole getting hit by a car thing really snapped it to me.
Like, really.

Discuss -
Sympathy? Do you enjoy it?
Do you enjoy giving it?
Do you mind it?

Yea - It's best to avoid those kinda things.
Atleast you're like it too Drac - I always thought people shunned me for it.

I understand how you feel although I can say that is not how I am. I'm the friend who usually ends up consoling everyone. I'm the one who listens to the stories and lets them sob and cry. I'm also the one who tries to make them laugh and such. I'll cry with people... I guess my thing is I wear my heart on my sleeve and it shows all the time. So for me showing sympathy is second nature because I feel what people are feeling very easy. If someone is upset/angry/hurt I usually take on the quality somewhat. So for me people seem to find it easy to talk to since I'll understand right where they are coming from.

I cried when we had to put our cat to sleep at the vet's. She had her stomach filled with tumours. This was 2 years ago.

The thing is, I didnt cry when my grandmother died (on my fathers side) neither did I cry when my grandfather died (on my mothers side).

Does this make me a bad person?

No, but my brother and sister thought so.

Steppo (you'll always be Steppo cuz I knew you as that first =P Unless you want me to call you Cerb lol): That doesn't make you a bad person. Were you close to your grandparents? If you weren't, then it's understandable. To me, at least. I didn't cry much when my Paw Paw died until I actually saw him in the coffin. I was never able to hear/sing "Amazing Grace" after that without crying (long story). But other than that, I didn't cry much.

Now when my dog died, my dog I had for 14-15 years, I had a fit. I cried off and on for probably a week straight. Still get teary eyed when I think of him sweatdrop

I dont really know about this. I do warn you right now I am in weird mental state tonight so this may not be fully coherent. I will attempt to make sense though. xd

For one, I wonder if lack of sympathy isnt becuase people arent capable of being sympathetic, but becuase of social pressures or the oddness of the situation. Like when you are put in a situation that you are expected to react in a certain way, and so this creates a bit of tension. Tension which then is released by not taking the situation seriously at all, and laughing about it. We dont want to feel how perhaps people want us to feel, so we find it unreal and funny instead as a way to move away from it.This is just a theory of mine though.

Then for oddness of situation, just in normal life we have a certain social programming to do certain things. So when things happen that are abnormal we are more free since that programming isnt as much in place. Another theory.

So, perhaps either from the social tension which we disaggree with, the oddness of the situation/lack of programming for response, or from our honest emotional reaction, we transfer that tension into dissociating ourselves from what is going on and laughing about it to release said tension buildup.

Not saying these theories are right, they are just things I have pondered here and there. I havent really gotten a fully coherent theory of why people laugh at things that are supposed to not create that response.

I laugh at things too that I know I "shouldnt". I am a nice person sometimes, but I have a mean streak as well. I sometimes will find it funny when freinds fail (if they seemed to have it coming ) etc.

I sometimes can be sympathetic to others, and then if their is too many competing emotions I usually will withdraw more from the situation or some other recourse. It is usually a more situation by situation thing. Sometimes I am more than other times.

Then getting it, I supose I dont mind getting sympathy sometimes. It really depends how it is delivered, and in what situation. I can sometimes be more kept to myself and so sympathy would not occur because when I present my plight I will do so in an aggressive manner so I dont get that kind of response.

In general I dont mind it, what *does* bother me sometimes is like, social expectations. I am no angel, and I dont like that I am expecting to play a part sometimes, or that once someone sees one side of me they expect to always see that side again. Kind of like after first meeting someone I feel all creepy because I know that they have only seen one side of me and not the others.