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So.. Like I dunno if I've ever told you guys about my brother.. He's a very sweet guy, not the brightest, but he has a really good heart and what not.. He went to college at SUNY Albany, and he met a girl there and then they began dating, and they moved in together off campus but close to school so they can get back and forth.. Their relationship was going strong for 2 or 3 years (dispite my utter dislike for her.), but she turned on him during the summer (I suspect her of cheating on him.) and then broke it off saying things like "It's not you its me. I am bored, I'm confused, I don't know what I want in life. I don't know if I love you or not." and its been on and off since the summer.. She dumped my brother 3 times, and its been taking a toll on my brother.. Dispite the encouraging talk we try to give him.. Speeches like "Ditch the b***h", and "She is so full of s**t", and "You'll find another better girl soon, just get out of there and get on with it."

Everything we seem to tell him goes in one ear, and out the other. He doesn't take anyones advice, and he keeps going back to her, even though she says things like "I want the option to have sex with any man I feel attracted to."

My problem with her is that.. She is into this soap opera fantasy, and she wants to turn her life into one.. Shes been in college 8 years now, has no degree since she keeps changing her major, and has 100k debt in loans. I see nothing desireable in her. Especially as she keeps telling my brother that he is a failure and that she isn't pleased with his education, or his career..

Now lets get this straight, my brother just graduated SUNY Albany, but they wont give him his diploma till he gets 1 more B in a class to raise his GPA a little. (He has never been good with academics. I blame his ex-GF too since he has been doing better since he dumped her. even though they claimed that she was helping him. I really doubt it.), and my brother career is just starting. He even just got a promotion, and will be entering a management position once he receives the paper from SUNY Albany, that he graduated and has a degree in communications. OVerall, my brother isn't doing that bad. Not nearly as bad as she is doing.

So why is he stuck on believe in all the s**t she tells him? All she is really trying to do it trying to get him off the phone or pc, and away from her since she doesnt like him anymore. She said "You're too nice, and I want a man that will slap me around."

Clearly, my brother isn't abusive.. Unfortunately though, with his women he is a bit of a pushover - He will do anything they ask him to do. And his women could also say anything, and he will never crack his whip even though he should..

Like when his ex basically told me that I'm a horrible human being, I'm ungreatful, and I'm a horrible brother and that I should go to hell for not doing everything everyone asks of me to do.. She was even telling me that my relationship with my parents, and the rest of my family is horrible, when everyone in my family loves me for who I am. Sure I don't do everything everyone asks of me, but no one expects me to. She even said "Oh, and your brother agrees with me on this. He told me so but he is too much of a wimp to bring it up to you."

Basically in that argument I had with her, I told her "You know, this isn't your place to talk." I spoke to my brother about it, and my brother was like "I actually said nothing, but whatever." and then my mom was like "If I thought there was something wrong with Ben, I would have changed him myself. Please don't try teaching him lessons, don't try to step into my domain, he actually has a good relationship with everyone." and really, my mom only said that because my brother did NOTHING to stop her from saying those things, he wouldn't crack and sort of whip, and to get her to stop my mom had to crack hers.

Note - I also said "You know, you're really brilliant.. It's an awesome idea to join someones family by stepping on their toes and pissing them off. Really, we love you." - sarcasm galore.

Anyways, I'm really worried for my brother in that he is depressed, and I suspect him of having bad suicidal thoughts about this..

I dunno what else I could do.. :/

The funny thing is that my brother is a communications major, and has the least communication with his family, and the most communication with strangers. He loves talking to strangers.

His exgf also had a problem with his communicating..

but i really think she just wants to look for every single possible flaw, point them out, make him feel like crap, and hopes that he would stop talking to her.

I don't talk to the ex gf anymore, I told her off a while ago.

Really its only my brother that talks to her still, in hopes of forcing the romance.. but he hasnt learned that he can't force that.. and that he should just stop talking to her. she doesnt want to talk to him at all.

I would... But he already has a profile on Jdate, and every girl he has met from that site have been disaster cases (they're all weird.) now im not talking badly about jdate, i think its a great site.. you just gotta be careful.

for some reason my brother only attracts these psycho case girls. that have multiple issues.. and I think its too much of a burden for him.. he needs a pretty girl, thats healthy, and has a career and goals in her life.

I want to strengthen my brothers self confidence and image before he gets another girl...

This hannukah we bought him a new wardrobe, a tanning package, and some skin care products to clean up his image.

We're looking into a life coach for him as well.. Well.. my mom would like to anyways.

ummm errr......

I might look into your jdate profile.. >.>

I just don't think my brothers fit for dating just yet.. the relationship with his ex was 2 or 3 years long..

He might be too old for you.. <.<

>.>

I am creeping you out now.

ahahaahah..

my brother is 23.

most the women he finds that are attracted to him are all older than him by a year or two.. He doesn't really think anything of it. he wishes that he could find normal women that love him though.

I think once he moves back here (in febuary), it would be easier to comfort him and undo all the negativity hes been surrounded with...

Its hard to help someone from long distance when everyone around him hates him.

Except for his work friends.. They love him there because he has good work ethics and always done a good job.

I would say that his ex is really missing out.. her car cannot run without my brother fixing it for her. the problem is she seduces him anytime she needs it fixed..

how her seduction works is beyond me.. she looks like a young version of the wicked witch of the west... only fat.

Errr..

well what bothers me is that when she was trying to loose weight, my brother was trying to help her out a lot..

and then she just stopped, lost all interest, and gained the 20 lbs she lost back and then some..

I can make a person lose 40lbs in a month as well.. ive done it before, because the person i was working with was dedicated.

ummm diets only a small part of it! You need to excersize a lot too.. the kid i had been working with was on my tennis team, and id make him practice at least 4 hours a day after school (2pm-6pm), so he did that 5 days a week.. then on weekends he would call my up and ask to play tennis. he was diabetic, so he needed a good diet to control his health already..

and he slimmed down eventually.

We went from helping with Benzino's brother to discussing weight loss. Maybe the weight loss concerns could be taken up in another thread, and we should get back to this poor brother whose heart is being rubbed raw and eroded daily by this toxic relationship with what sounds like a toxic woman.

(Alternatively, there's a Gaian Losers Guild for weight control discussion. I'm on there. It's a very friendly and helpful group.)