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 Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 4:53 pm
A Series of mine coming soon (but not in book stores so don't look in borders)(the colored cover is also coming soon)  this series is about a ex-yanki and her two friends, that were her allies on the streets of the city, find out that one of their classmates is a vampire! But they don't know what he looks like. I'm planning on making this series a action/comedy/romance manga. two of the girls are colored and up in devaintart on my account http://thenightsshadow.deviantart.com/
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 4:56 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 5:00 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 5:12 pm
please.... someone tell me what cha talk? crying crying crying crying crying crying
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 5:47 pm
Vampire series are always fun, but with the popularity of the 'Twilight' series, you might want to give it a less similar name. Just a thought.
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:00 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:23 pm
Mm. I've got a few suggestions on the drawing. If you're one of those people who takes criticism too seriously, though, y'know... Just remember that none of this is meant to be personal or anything. So don't get mad, 'kay? <3
Your shading's not bad, but it's a little inconsistent. You shaded the hair, eyes, and some of the clothes... but I think the shading on the clothes could use some work. There should be more of it, really. Judging by the shading on the hair, you mean for the light source to be coming from straight above, so the clothing should have more dark parts around the stomach, and you need some shadow on the right shoulder under the staff's handle. The bandages could probably use a little more shading too...
Theee... scarf? Is that a scarf around the person's neck? If you darken the outline of it, it'll show up much better.
Bandage on the right cheek is a little bulgy...
It looks like there's a very light eye floating above your character's head. Is that meant to be there?
The body and hands aren't exactly right, but I'm terrible at hands, so I won't critique you on that.
(I really like the flowers next to the logo. <3)
Mm, scythe could use some shading too. See how you've got the blade seperated into two parts? One big part, and one small part, seperated by a jagged line? That's supposed to suggest a shine mark, but it would show up so much more nicely if you shaded the big part to be a light gray.
The ripped fabric on the right arm (under the elbow) should probably be shaded a little lighter. Left arm is a little bulgy, but it's okay; the body is difficult to work with. You'll get it after some practice, I'm sure.
As for the story itself:
Chaos_Theory_Panda said that there's a similar series with a closely related name, so, like she said, changing the name would probably be a good move.
To be entirely honest, the storyline seems sort of cliche to me, but I'm sure there are some others who might enjoy it. Good luck. <3
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 11:33 am
Valerie521 Mm. I've got a few suggestions on the drawing. If you're one of those people who takes criticism too seriously, though, y'know... Just remember that none of this is meant to be personal or anything. So don't get mad, 'kay? <3 Your shading's not bad, but it's a little inconsistent. You shaded the hair, eyes, and some of the clothes... but I think the shading on the clothes could use some work. There should be more of it, really. Judging by the shading on the hair, you mean for the light source to be coming from straight above, so the clothing should have more dark parts around the stomach, and you need some shadow on the right shoulder under the staff's handle. The bandages could probably use a little more shading too... Theee... scarf? Is that a scarf around the person's neck? If you darken the outline of it, it'll show up much better. Bandage on the right cheek is a little bulgy... It looks like there's a very light eye floating above your character's head. Is that meant to be there? The body and hands aren't exactly right, but I'm terrible at hands, so I won't critique you on that. (I really like the flowers next to the logo. <3) Mm, scythe could use some shading too. See how you've got the blade seperated into two parts? One big part, and one small part, seperated by a jagged line? That's supposed to suggest a shine mark, but it would show up so much more nicely if you shaded the big part to be a light gray. The ripped fabric on the right arm (under the elbow) should probably be shaded a little lighter. Left arm is a little bulgy, but it's okay; the body is difficult to work with. You'll get it after some practice, I'm sure. As for the story itself: Chaos_Theory_Panda said that there's a similar series with a closely related name, so, like she said, changing the name would probably be a good move. To be entirely honest, the storyline seems sort of cliche to me, but I'm sure there are some others who might enjoy it. Good luck. <3 twilights a novel not a manga twilight has correct spelling in the title unlike mine i didnt even no about twilight until i looked at my boyfriends pro and im still working on the story line after all i made this overnight i was half asleep crying crying be thank you for your oppion... sorry cant spell p.s. a lot of books have similar titles but have different story lines
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:40 pm
It seems...interesting, I suppose.
I agree with Val, the drawing
needs a little work, but it's
pretty good and I'm sure you'll
get better with some practice.
And the story sounds pretty
interesting, as long as you
don't use too many cliches.
Oh, and please don't post
several times if nobody answers
you. The guild is a little slow, but
we'll answer eventually, so just
try to be a little patient.
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:19 am
 Grin Evilly says: The whole 'vampire', 'vampire classmate' and 'twilight' is really overused. It doesn't really catch my interest as well as something... new and fresh, I would say.
If you want more readers, I suggest coming up with something more creative. D: ♥♥♥
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:51 pm
Grin Evilly The whole 'vampire', 'vampire classmate' and 'twilight' is really overused. It doesn't really catch my interest as well as something... new and fresh, I would say.
If you want more readers, I suggest coming up with something more creative. D:
I have to agree. Vampires can still be done well and originally, but you have to look at them from a fresh perspective. Even though Twilight is a novel, as soon as I saw your cover, that's what I thought of... and I don't even read that series. It might not be such a concern now, but if you wanted this to go anywhere, I would put serious consideration into a new title. Even the spelling doesn't differentiate it enough - the last thing you want people to do is start thinking it's a rip-off (not saying it is, just that they might feel this way).
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:02 am
I hear you calling and it's needles and pins
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
I'm gonna go with everyone else. When I was a kid, I read a Dracula-themed novellete for kids where-in the kids from school start turning up dead, then come back to class as vampires. And only one girl remembered the funerals, and it was because of that crazy vampire-mind control or whatever.
The point is... is this something you want to do professionally, or just for fun? Because if you plan on marketing this one day, already you're violating about thirty copy-right laws. (Unless you do something, really, REALLY out there.)
And, people have been sued just for having a series RESEMBLE another series title. (What was that crap with the Harry Potter story? The one lady who had a wizard character that acted just like Harry Potter and JK Rowling ripped her off... or something.)
If this is just for fun... then whatever, who cares what we all say. Do what you want.
Only, even if it is just for fun, I would highly suggest changing the title. Because you can seriously get sued for having a title that resembles a title from another series. (Even more so if your series resembles the plot in that series too.)
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:55 pm
vampire is always a nice topic. how you use it is the key to make it good. my biggest problem is the main characters. Since they are girls it usually adds up to annoying mary-sues. i don't mean to be rude. but creating unqie personaltys for your characters will help people like them so your story is good.
also the romance with vampires. it has also been done in twilight. if its a love-sick girl who is completly devoted to the guy and will give her soul to him; gets me irrtated. i just giving out suggestions so sorry if i seem a critic. which i am kinda. ninja
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