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"Get Up, Stand Up!"

Bob Marley hits on a boombox Dan is carrying.He's wearing an X-Rated t-shirt to stave off the cold and he has the boombox on one shoulder and a joint in the other hand. He takes large puffs and blows out the smoke quickly to try and re-create his entrance in an arena. After he starts to get a little dizzy, and the smoke just blows away anyway, he decides to give up. He walks down to the ring and places the boombox in the corner and waits for his opponent and partner in the ******** yeah, these weather conditions are perfect for me.))

After thirty minutes of waiting the crowd began to boo and chant loudly

"COOOOWWAARD!!! COOOOWWAARD!!! COOOOWWAARD!!! COOOOWWAARD!!! COOOOWWAARD!!! COOOOWWAARD!!!"

Ring announcer Johnny Q grabbed his mic.

"Ladies and Gentlemen it seems that Somoa Dan is such an intimidating force that not only are his opponents to scared to show, his partner is to scared as well. So by default the victory goes to Somoa Dan. This will not be tolerated in OECW and I am getting word from management that if Dan would please report to the Executive Administrator's office he will be re-assigned to a new match."

You winner by sheer intimidation: Somoa Dan and only Somoa Dan. Mystery partner will not be credited.