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 Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:34 pm
This one has an odd format, but if you are kind and patient enough to read it, will you please give me some critisism.
.........................................................................
Break the glass
Hear the pieces fall
Break the glass
Look into the mirror
Break the glass
Smell the crystal powder
Break the glass
Taste the blood on your tongue
Break the glass
I break the glass and hear the pieces fall
I break the glass and look into the mirror
I break the glass and smell the crystal powder
I break the glass and taste blood on my tongue
I have broken the glass
My heart tells me I am right
But the mirror I looked into tells me I am wrong
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 2:50 pm
it's good, i like it...... you make good use of repetition and symbolism, but other than that you lack literary devices such as metaphors, rhyme/rhythm, meter, ect..
.....but this is just my opinion of coarse.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:26 pm
Yah....*sigh* I wasn't really writing seriously at the time. I just wrote whatever came to mind...
I'm famous for my lack of usage regarding literary devices unless I actually take a while to think hard... sweatdrop
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