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 Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:36 pm
OLOL.
So I've been friends with my best friend IRL for about 4 years now, known her for 5. I L HER TO DEATH, when I'm not PISSED at her. When we aren't mad at each other, which is most of the time, we're great friends. We have fun, we're really close, all of that.
But when we get MAD at each other. Usually she takes what I'm saying as an insult, which it usually is, but instead of reacting normally, she really OVERREACTS. Put this on repeat for awhile before I realize that just reacting to something stupid she says is going to do the exact same thing it did the last five times. Usually I have to give up being mad at her, because she never learns.
Here are a few examples:
Almost every time we fought over the summer, it started the exact same way.
I'd say I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. I'd be in a bad mood, she'd come to me and start up a conversation, I'd tell her I don't want to talk to her, because I knew I'd get pissed easily and be a jerk. And she got MAD at me for not wanting to talk to her, and she'd choose that time to get mad at me for whatever thing she was mad at me for, because me not wanting to talk to her makes her MAD. And so I'd eventually just block her, because seriously, blocking her is 50 times more effective than anything else. I can't argue with her, because when she's mad she is right and you are wrong, and anything said that doesn't 100% match that just infuriates her and she'll say something about how I don't know anything about what I'm talking about, I never admit I'm wrong and she won't take my crap anymore. Arguing with her is POINTLESS. But I don't have the self control to just stop, and if I TELL her I'm stopping she'll go NO! ********. YOU NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY, and more things to that effect. So I usually block her, because it stops it. There's usually no rational way to talk about any problems we have, because she gets angered too easily. So to avoid staying mad at her and so I have at least ONE friend, I just ignore we have problems. It's the only thing to do.
So I'm fair, here are my flaws:
I act like I'm better than her
Because she is SO ignorant when she's mad at me, and just seems so stupid.
I repeat the same mistakes because I forget she doesn't anger like a normal human.
When I'm mad, I'm FURIOUS. And that gets us nowhere because then I'll actually fight with her which gets us....absolutely nowhere. Because she listens to nothing.
That's it.
You can't tell her she's wrong, and you can't tell her you're right.
And tonight...
Backstory:
I HATE people who ... in response to IM's of mine. I honestly DESPISE it. And I usually tell people that. Just something like "D: I hate it when people ..." and give a suggestion. FOR EXAMPLE, say what you MEAN. because ... can mean that's really stupid, or okay then, or that you have nothing to say. So just SAY that. Anyway, Kichi ...'s to me all the time and he recently stopped because I asked him to enough. He's aware I don't like it and he tries to avoid it. This is ONE thing. I don't pile on lots of requests for people to avoid doing, I really don't. Same with IRL. Most requests I give to people are jokes. Although now that I think of that, she might not KNOW that. So I should tell her. Either way, she should have came to me and talked to me about that.
So our conversation tonight went something like
*I say something*
Her: ....
And I've told her many times I HATE it right? And my usual response to her and kichi saying it is ... UP YOUR a**. <3
<3 because I'm not mad, it's just me expressing my dislike for ...
They're both aware of this, I've done it before. ANYWAY she decides to get mad at me telling her to shove her dots up her a**, so she says to stop saying that.
I tell her to stop ...ing and I will. She's all no. I tell her Kichi did, she's all I'm not kichi, I don't do what you want me to anymore
I'm all BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE LIKE YOU WERE MY FRIEND OR SOMETHING. She said something about how hows that friends doing everything I want her to? I'm like....what? Because I want her to every so often care about my feelings and not do something because of it. I use to yell at her for her grammar, but I stopped that because she asked me to. I do a LOT of things she asks me to. I always ignore my problems with her so I can still be friends with her, and I forgive her when she ******** up even though she isn't really sorry and hasn't learned anything at all. And in turn she does NOTHING for me. :/
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:54 pm
WOW. You know, me and Nymphie have been friends for like EVER. And we have fights about THE stupidest things. I don't want to get into that because it's not what this is about.
You're mad at her because she uses the ... thing. I admit, that irritates me... but I don't give a crap. And honestly, neither should you.
You're getting mad that she overreacts about things, yet here you are ranting about her ...-ing at you.
You're saying in there, that you're getting mad at her because "kichi" stopped doing it. And honestly, I would have called a ******** b***h. Because guess what, I'm not "Kichi" and I will never be "kichi". And you're making it obvious that "kichi" has a big spot in your heart, a spot that obviously she couldn't fill, making her feel a little less than awesome. So maybe you should stop expecting her to be "kichi" and start realizing that she's the one you should tell "kichi" to be more like.
Don't take this as a personal attack or nothing, I don't hate you... I think. But it's not OK to compare your RL best friend to your online boyfriend thing.
ALSO, it's not a good idea to blast the things that tick you off all over the place. Like I know things that make me mad and tick me off, such as cutesy nicknames... stare . And I know things that would make me explode, and not one person in the world knows what is the one thing that will set me off. Because I don't want you to be able to do it, because that's a sign of weakness, and once you show weakness the vultures will attack, and that just gets annoying.
I just wrote one of those epic responses, so R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 9:20 pm
I don't get mad at her ...ing at me. I get annoyed, but it's not worth getting pissed at her for. I'm mad at her for thinking she doesn't have to do anything for me at all.
Oh hey..I prolly shouldn't have compared her to him. Because I'm all pissed when she does. I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT BIT ON MY PART BUZZ THANK YOU. I'll say sorry for that when I'm less pissed at her. :3
andbuzz AGAIN I AM SINGLE.
I don't think it's a big deal for her to do ONE thing for me. ... makes me feel stupid and like what I say isn't worth replying to. :/
And if she didn't want to do this, but acted like she gave a damn about ANYTHING else, it'd be okay. It's jut that she never feels like she has to do ANYTHING for me.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 11:29 pm
So she's honestly done nothing for you? She's never done anything to make your life happier?
Because I kinda find that hard to believe, and if that's honestly true, then she was never really your friend to begin with. Because with friends, it's usually give and take, and if somebody is always just taking, then they're just selfish.
Friend fights are annoying, but only when they're "real". I never have like real, actual, "I'm going to block you" fights with Nymphie. I mean we argue, but then we get over it and go hang out. You guys should try fake fighting, because all seriousness should be lost when it comes to friends, unless they're going through something, and they need your help. That's when you gotta grow balls and be a real human being.
And I don't care how single you are, you and "kichi" got annoying enough that you will remain together for a long time... just ask any of my friends that have dated and broke up. Actually, just ask any of my friends who have talked about someone they liked for more than I cared to listen... ask Nymphie. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 3:54 am
buzzkid24 Actually, just ask any of my friends who have talked about someone they liked for more than I cared to listen... ask Nymphie. 3nodding 3nodding You can be 100 yrs old and Buzz will still call Eikichi your boyfriend thing. You could have even never gone out with Ekichi and just been friends and Buzz would still call him your boyfriend thing. Even if you just mentioned him once in a nice way, or hateful way, Buzz would call him your boyfriend thing.
If your friends doesnt care about you dump her. And try to get new friends. Whats the point of being friends with someone who doesnt have any common curtesy for your feelings?
OR you could get over it. Buzz does things around me simply because he knows how much he annoys me. Like I ask him like 50000 times a day to not crack his knuckles...and he just cracks them more. But I dont take it like he doesnt care. I take it like he's a douche <3 Although I know you have like the opposite views on taking things seriously sooo I guess how me and Buzz's friendship works wouldnt work with you. So I dunno if getting over it would work for you.
AND it made me lawl SOOOOO ******** hard about you bitching about someone else overreacting. I mean seriously Padme.
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 6:08 pm
My lord, you people make me jealous. I've never been in fights with my friends recently.
The only time I remember having a falling out with a friend was in second grade. My best friend. He used to protect me from these two guys who'd chase me around (they didn't hit me, they just chased me to the point where it became a daily routine, and it was fun). Then I got in a fight, and we didn't talk to each other for a hell long time. Forgot why we fought, just that we did. Then we became friends again. Beautiful story.
But really, I don't get into fights with my friends that much. All of us generally know when we're close to crossing the line, and when we know, we apologize, avoid each other for one day, then on the next day we're the greatest group again.
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:10 pm
Nymphiedora buzzkid24 Actually, just ask any of my friends who have talked about someone they liked for more than I cared to listen... ask Nymphie. 3nodding 3nodding You can be 100 yrs old and Buzz will still call Eikichi your boyfriend thing. You could have even never gone out with Ekichi and just been friends and Buzz would still call him your boyfriend thing. Even if you just mentioned him once in a nice way, or hateful way, Buzz would call him your boyfriend thing.
If your friends doesnt care about you dump her. And try to get new friends. Whats the point of being friends with someone who doesnt have any common curtesy for your feelings?
OR you could get over it. Buzz does things around me simply because he knows how much he annoys me. Like I ask him like 50000 times a day to not crack his knuckles...and he just cracks them more. But I dont take it like he doesnt care. I take it like he's a douche <3 Although I know you have like the opposite views on taking things seriously sooo I guess how me and Buzz's friendship works wouldnt work with you. So I dunno if getting over it would work for you.
AND it made me lawl SOOOOO ******** hard about you bitching about someone else overreacting. I mean seriously Padme.
»»»Pixie«««
I love her, but I don't think she's worth it. She isn't rational about any problems we might have, and we have quite a few right now.
And I know right? I've gotten 1000 times better about overreacting, but I still do it way too much. xDD
She's worse than I am though, seriously. And she's less rational than I am when she's mad. Which is again, really bad. Because I'm terrible. xD
IMPROVING THOUGH.
._. and little things really don't bother me all that much. it's just when there are tons of little things, so much that it doesn't seem like it matters at all to her.
@Buzz: you have good points. Yeah, she's made me feel better and made me happy ETC. She's been great over the years, just recently since sometime in june I'd guess we just kinda have been failing. We never had any problems before then, and all of a sudden we started having a lot of them and it's totally impossible for her to listen to other people tell her things she doesn't want to hear.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:22 pm
You're mad she's not you, and she's mad you want her to be somebody else. That's what it sounds like to me.
Also, you should try to see if anything happened around the month of June, like if anything that would make either you guys change.
GAHHHHHH I'm just gonna come out and say it, you probably started worshiping Eikichi and she started getting annoyed, and you just got mad at her for not being completely fine with you being obsessed with your online boyfriend. So then you guys would get in little arguments and then you'd bring Eikichi in, and then everything would get worse.
If that's not it, then you should stop talking about her, and stop caring about this, and just get over it, because it's not big an issue.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:27 pm
buzzkid24 You're mad she's not you, and she's mad you want her to be somebody else. That's what it sounds like to me.
Also, you should try to see if anything happened around the month of June, like if anything that would make either you guys change.
GAHHHHHH I'm just gonna come out and say it, you probably started worshiping Eikichi and she started getting annoyed, and you just got mad at her for not being completely fine with you being obsessed with your online boyfriend. So then you guys would get in little arguments and then you'd bring Eikichi in, and then everything would get worse.
If that's not it, then you should stop talking about her, and stop caring about this, and just get over it, because it's not big an issue. Our problems were completely unrelated to kichi, and I'm 100% certain of that. We've had a lot of problems relating to kichi, but we would have those problems no matter what. It's not the problems that are the problem if that makes any sense. It's just that it's impossible to deal with the problems with her, so nothing ever gets better.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:06 pm
*tries really hard not to be a b***h or say anything negative because i dont want to fight in here*
Ok so first off we were having problems before june you just didnt notice them. Also i didnt just respond with ... i said ... and then i said what i wanted to say. And then the biggest thing is that i have felt like this sooooo much, i have felt like you dont care, that i cant reason with you, that you dont want to deal with our problems and that you just want to avoid them, that you dont listen to a word i say, that maybe we should stop being firends because we fight so much and i always get attacked, that i dont mean s**t to you,that you dont think we have a BIG problem to deal with and you shrug it off and forget about it, and that i should just give up, i also feel like you are controling me and using my weaknesses to get what you want from me, i really dont think you care sometimes. But something wont let me let go of you, people have told me that i should stop being friends with you before and i have considered it, i really seriously have but i cant let go, i dont want to throw this all away if we can fix it. The good parts are great and i dont want to lose them, but the fighting is sooooooooo bad. It really doesnt help that you think i am weak (you even admitted to it so dont deny it now).
Oh and by the way i never asked you to stop correcting my grammer and you still do sometimes, oh and as a courtesy i used capitolization as much as i could in this post so i wouldnt annoy you.
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Ginny Amidala of Hobbiton
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:51 pm
*sings*
HEY!!
GET-GET-GET-GET- GET OVER IT!!!
HEY!!
GET-GET-GET-GET- GET OVER IT!!!
Sorry, but seriously guys, either get over it or stop being friends and then realize how much time you wasted.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:05 pm
Um, maybe you guys should just take a week or two off from talking and hanging out just to give each other some space. Sounds like you guys need to take a short break from each other. :/
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:07 pm
Remember Psycho (Pixie not Ginny)? Me and her and this other girl were best friends for 12 years. Me and the other girl ended up breaking up with Psycho last Janurary.
It sucked and we tried to avoid it as long as we could. I mean throwing away a 12 yr best friendship isnt an easy thing to do. But sometimes it just has to happen. Sometimes issues cant be resolved and all that you will get by remaining friends is hurt.
We had AWESOME AMAZING times with Psycho. She spent pretty much every weekend sleeping over my house for probably 9 or 10 years. We were practically inseparable. I loved Psycho more then I loved pretty much anyone else. Besides Ida (the other girl) We were all "best friends forever" and going to help raise each others kids and be each others maids of honor and live next door to each other and never leave. But you know sometimes s**t happens and as much as it sucks it just has to be ended.
Of course we didnt want to end the friendship. My mom told me like every day to just stop being friends with her but I refused. Same with Ida. And things just got worse. We would have saved SOOO much time and energy if we had just gotten over it and stopped the friendship when we knew it wasnt going to work. Trying to make it last just isnt worth it. Its going to end eventually anyways, might as well just end it now and save alot of grief. It'll really really suck at first but you'll get over it and soon realize that it was all of the best.
Or if you stop being friends for like...6 months and then both realize that you cant live without each other then you'll be more willing to make the sacrifices you need to make to be friends again. And then the friendship can be fixed.
Either way you have to just stop talking to each other. Whether its a loong break or an ending, its better then what you're doing now.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:27 pm
1. I didn't write down exactly when we started always being pissed at each other. I guessed June. I guessed wrong.
2. I am RANTING here. I'm not duking it out with you, and I didn't post here so I could try and work out my problems with you. :/
3. I'm fine with taking a break. :3
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:42 pm
So I heard on the news about some girl who committed suicide over myspace.
And then I thought about this thread.
Don't let that become this? K? ;3;
Friends like that are irritating, but it's better to suffer through it than to abandon it all together.
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