The Quotable Doctor....

[MurphysLuck]

"Love. Hunh. Wrote a treatise on the chromosomal origins of love once when I was a small boy. Proved categorically which gene began it, which enzymes carried it, which electrochemical receptors translated it. Took all the fun out of it. Got a rubbish grade, too. My tutor told me I'd missed the point. It's held no mystique for me since. Now don't talk to me about love." -- The Doctor, The Wormery  

[MurphysLuck]

Engineer: "Doctor, one part of your equation I don't quite understand."
8th Doctor: "Which part?"
Engineer: "That which appertains to the TARDIS angle of slideslip."
8th Doctor: "The TARDIS angle between its long axis and its direction of motion is interdimensional."
Engineer: ".......I don't quite follow."
8th Doctor: "Well, in simple terms, drag on yaw equals density by diameter squared by velocity squared by the drag coefficient. Now substituting the coefficients of the lift for the coefficient of the lateral sideslip by the sign of the angle of yaw equals the product of the density diameter cubed velocity squared coefficient of the present location and the sign and co-sign of the special coordinates."
Engineer: "..... I... see."
8th Doctor: "Well, I can't put it more basically, though I could write it out symbolically. Let's see, moment of M equals--"
Engineer: "I'LL ASSIGN YOU A COMPUTER!"  

[faerie_ophelia]

MurphysLuck

Engineer: "Doctor, one part of your equation I don't quite understand."
8th Doctor: "Which part?"
Engineer: "That which appertains to the TARDIS angle of slideslip."
8th Doctor: "The TARDIS angle between its long axis and its direction of motion is interdimensional."
Engineer: ".......I don't quite follow."
8th Doctor: "Well, in simple terms, drag on yaw equals density by diameter squared by velocity squared by the drag coefficient. Now substituting the coefficients of the lift for the coefficient of the lateral sideslip by the sign of the angle of yaw equals the product of the density diameter cubed velocity squared coefficient of the present location and the sign and co-sign of the special coordinates."
Engineer: "..... I... see."
8th Doctor: "Well, I can't put it more basically, though I could write it out symbolically. Let's see, moment of M equals--"
Engineer: "I'LL ASSIGN YOU A COMPUTER!"

That made me laugh! What is it from?  

[MurphysLuck]

rainyeyes29

MurphysLuck

Engineer: "Doctor, one part of your equation I don't quite understand."
8th Doctor: "Which part?"
Engineer: "That which appertains to the TARDIS angle of slideslip."
8th Doctor: "The TARDIS angle between its long axis and its direction of motion is interdimensional."
Engineer: ".......I don't quite follow."
8th Doctor: "Well, in simple terms, drag on yaw equals density by diameter squared by velocity squared by the drag coefficient. Now substituting the coefficients of the lift for the coefficient of the lateral sideslip by the sign of the angle of yaw equals the product of the density diameter cubed velocity squared coefficient of the present location and the sign and co-sign of the special coordinates."
Engineer: "..... I... see."
8th Doctor: "Well, I can't put it more basically, though I could write it out symbolically. Let's see, moment of M equals--"
Engineer: "I'LL ASSIGN YOU A COMPUTER!"

That made me laugh! What is it from?

It's from the Big Finish Audio adventure The Creed of the Kromon (official page here, with trailer). I swear, some of the best quotes come out of those audios. xd 'Tis why I loves them so much!


Charley: "I went to an orgy once. There was a lot of melted cheese. I didn't stay." (8th Doctor's companion)  

[MurphysLuck]

8th Doctor: "I never got puffed out before my nine hundredth birthday, but you know what they say. You reach the big nine-fifty and everything goes."

Guidance: "Every young buck who wants to prove his manhood is eager to blood his face in your entrails."
8th Doctor: "That's teenagers for you. Of course I was a terror 'til 120."
Guidance: "One hundred and....?"
8th Doctor: "Late-developer."

8th Doctor: ("confessing his sins") "So, in Year 50 at the Academy, it was me who fed the snapping wortfowl Valyez's summer project."

8th Doctor: "You flinched! You flinched!! When I said 'time'! There!! You did it again there! Like an actor hearing 'MacBeth'! I-I-I mean the Scottish play!"

8th Doctor: "So long as she doesn't slurp her soup. I can't stand that."

Keep: "Your manners are impeccable, Doctor."
8th Doctor: "Yeah, not bad for a snipe wot was brunged up in the Gallifreyan guttah."

8th Doctor: "Popular item, this moonstone. ....We should stick it on eBay!!" 4laugh

Perfection: "I'm just grasping at straws. Ignore me."
8th Doctor: "Oh, no no no, you may be on to something. Women's intuition and all that. Vastly underrated, I always think. So do most women I've met, too."
Perfection: "Oh? Known a lot of women have we?"
8th Doctor: "One or twenty."
Perfection: "Twenty?"
8th Doctor: "At a guess. .......Oh NO nonono, not like that!"
Perfection: "Riiiiiight."
8th Doctor: "No, honestly."  

[MurphysLuck]

Davros: "For too long, I have clutched onto the remnants of this physical form, as if it is that which makes me who I am. I know now that this is incorrect."
Doctor: "Yeeeeah, it's what you look like on the inside that counts. At least that's what you tell the girls."


Davros: "Look, Doctor. And behold my destiny."
Doctor: "Oooooooooh. Defrost your very own Davros." *pause* "Was that what you were like before the accident? Oh dear. Never really were a looker, were you?"  

[ch1ps0h0y]

Do quotes from books count? because there's this really funny one with the 8th doctor (alien bodies):

(This first bit is to explain the other bits)

Doctor: "Who, Qixotl? Whose body is it?"
Qixotl: "Look, I know you're upset -"
Doctor: "Whose body?"
Again, that stare. Solid blue. Qixotl swallowed, really, really hard.
Qixotl: "Yours," he squeaked. "Sorry."

Later...

Doctor: "You're offering me 40% of my own body?" boggled the Doctor.
Qixotl: "Uh-huh. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'd give you 50%, but I've got expenses to cover here."
Doctor: "Don't be ridiculous!"
Qixotl sighed extravagantly. "If you want to play it like that, fine. But look, if you want your body back, there's no way I can just hand it over to you. Not with this lot around. There's only one way you're going to get your hands on it without causing trouble."
Doctor: "Which is?"
Qixotl: "You're going to have to bid at the auction. Like everyone else."
Doctor: "Over my dead -" xd biggrin

Another bit (still on the topic of the Doctor's dead body):

Doctor: "If you're so determined to put the whole universe in jeopardy, why didn't you go the whole hog? Why didn't you just invite the Daleks?"
Immediately, Mr Qixotl's eyes shot back to the pixscreen. The Doctor noticed, this time, and turned to see what he was looking at.
The black spaceship had touched down on top of the ziggurat, its underbelly flattening most the roof garden. The Doctor turned back to Qixotl an expression of absolute horror on his face.
Doctor: "You didn't."
Mr Qixotl tried to look apologetic.

xd xd xd  

[Lennie the Fish]

Doctor 3: Absolutly vintage stuff!  

[Jar City]

4th Doctor: One more thing....your name.
Romana: What about my name?
4th Doctor: It's too long. By the time I've called out, 'Look out'—what's your name?
Romana: Romanadvoratrelundar.
4th Doctor:By the time I've called that out, you could be dead! I'll call you Romana.
Romana: I don't like Romana.
4th Doctor: It's either Romana or Fred.
Romana: All right, call me Fred!
4th Doctor: Good. Come on, Romana!  

[UniversalDestiny]

Charley: "I'm dead. He's dead. We're all dead...around here being dead is as common as catching a chill!" (Indicating Rassilon and Fifth, Sixth and Seventh Doctors)Zagreus

"My dear is your Social Life relevant."-Sixth Doctor

"Do you mind if I torture you Doctor? After all this is a Dungeon"- TARDIS
"Oh yes, carry on" -Eighth Doctor, Zagreus  

[MurphysLuck]

Hex: "I need a really big hanky. I think I've got to go and blow my pants."


7th Doctor: "No, no, Ace, Hex, step off the disc!"
Hex: "It's just a piece of stone, Doctor."
7th Doctor: "So was Stonehenge until some idiot found the ON switch!"


7th Doctor: "Honestly, I don't know. What's wrong with a bit of nasal slime?"
Ace: "You knew that was out there, didn't you?! You had a funny look on your face the moment you found out that place was called... what was it? Akinajouf?"
7th Doctor: "Yes... It can mean either 'Forest of Delicious Fruits' or 'Snot Monster's Garden'. It really depends which translation you use."  

[krystal_coyru]

Martha: Oh my God! you've got a hand. A hand in a jar. A hand, in jar, in your bag!


Jack:Oh yeah, could you please turn your cell phone off. No seriously it interferes with my instruments.
Rose: Sure, I'm hanging in mid-air, in the middle of a Greman air raid with a union jack across my chest, but hey! My mobile phone's off!


 

[gorramKayna]

Doctor Ten: My Timey Wimey Detector! Goes ding when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at tirty paces...weather you want it to or not actually so I've learned to stay away from hens. It's not pretty when they blow.

Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.
Doctor Nine: Yes, you are.
Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.
Doctor Nine: Yes there is.
Jackie: Well, anything could happen.
Doctor Nine: ...No.

Mickey: Oh my god...I'm the tin dog.

Doctor Ten: (to Sycorax) You. Just wait. I'm busy.  

[InoPig39]

There r a LOT of good quotes but here r some good 1s.

Officer sad tossing a gas mask to the doctor) So what do you think about this doctor?

Doctor sad puts on gas mask) Are you my mummy?
---
Donna: (hugs the doctor) Omg you still have the same suit, don't you ever change?

Doctor: Yes, but not right now Donna.
---
Doctor sad to Donna) You know, cuz i just wanna mate.

Donna: eek You just want to mate?!?

Doctor: No! A mate, i just want a mate.

Donna: eek Good, cuz you're not mating with me sunshine!  

[Simply-Cassie]

Sycorax: scream I demand to know who you are?!
Doctor: scream I DONT KNOW! see thats the thing, im the doctor but beyond that I..I just don't know I literally do not know who I am.