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Spiral Out

PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:46 am


So, yesterday I decided that Kaiya and I can't live with her father anymore. There's been a ton of little things building up, and the last straw was me finding a notice of disconnection from our electric company, stating that they were coming this week if we didn't reimburse them for damn near $400, because he hasn't payed the electric bill in five or six months, and he hasn't bothered to tell me.

I just don't really know what kind of partner wouldn't let their significant other know that they won't have adequate living conditions, ESPECIALLY when there's a child involved.

My aunt told me that we could live with her, she has a huge three-bedroom townhouse and she's the only one who lives there, so there's plenty of room, and I think she'd be pretty lenient on rent while I get back on my feet. I plan on moving Tuesday, and plan on going to the courthouse Thursday to get the custody and support figured out. I guess I'm just wondering if there's anything I should be aware of before doing this... my mom did the same thing, but that was over twenty years ago, and she doesn't remember it incredibly well.

Any input is appreciated!
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:17 am


My brother is going through custody/parenting plan and support agreements nearly constantly with the mother of his kid.

The thing is, that if for all intents and purposes your child's father is an okay parent, no drugs, run ins with the law, history of child abuse, if you want support from him he will be able to request visitation or even weeks on parenting plans. You can't have him cut out AND paying basically unless there is something legally wrong with him. There are also limits on the amount that can be asked for based on a two parent situation with X amount of children. And even if you are not working he is not required by law to pay the entire cost of living. You get to split it based on the percentages for the state.

Whoever files the parenting plan first, I believe has the upper hand because then the second party has to fight it and say why it is not an appropriate plan.

Nopenname

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Spiral Out

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 6:50 pm


I don't have any problem with her spending time with her, I'd encourage it, in fact. I just can't be with him anymore. I wound up moving today, I'm going to pick up paperwork from a courthouse tomorrow.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 5:42 am


First of all: Congratulations on taking such a big step.
You will be amazed how much spare money you suddenly have.
He sounds like my ex, I would give him money to pay a bill and a month later I would get a letter saying the bill has never been payed.
Turns out, he wasted the money down the pub on some beers and gambling.

Custody was never a problem for me, he never even ask to have them for a weekend, in fact I used to ask him all the time when he would finally come to pick the kids up.
We have been apart for almost 4 years now and he moved out 3 years and 3 month ago.
In the past 3 years my kids have seen him 3 times, he totally broke all contact after I filed for divorce.
Took me 2 years to get him to sign the divorce papers to begin with and since the divorce on the 4th of July (my independence day...yeay) I never saw him again.
He doesn't even bother to send the kids birthday or Christmas cards.

So here is problem number 2..maintenance payments.
He didn't pay for over a year, then the CSA managed to track him down and make him pay, however since 3 month he's not payed a single penny...guess I have to call CSA again and hope that they can help me, because I have also the problem, that he refused to give me a contact number and address...for the purpose alone that he can't be found, so that they can't make him pay.
Tracking him down last time was a mission and a half..not sure if I will manage it again.

Anyway, I wish you all the best.
Hope all your problems will get sorted *huggles*

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:05 am



Right now I am taking the necessary steps to file for divorce and custody. My soon to be ex husband is now in the Coast Guard and does not send child support. He is living with his new girlfriend and he doesn't call.

He went to jail for 2 weeks and has probation for 3 years due to attacking me while I was pregnant with our child. He did alot of worse things but I ended saving him from going to jail for 17 years because he threatened me and I was afraid... so he only got off with the minimum.

He has had a history of substance abuse and his family was involved as well... I have a meeting with my lawyer next week. If any wants to chat just pm me. This is a difficult time for me.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:57 am


Glad you found the courage to leave him.
Too many woman stay in an abusive relationship like that.
My sister was one of them and she didn't survive it.
It may be for the best that he's broken all contact, I know not getting child support sucks, but that's worth less then any body's life.
My ex was also abusive, he head butted me just after we got married (he totally changed after we got married) broke my nose that way and he gave me a black eye when I was pregnant with my 2nd child, but it was many years after that that I left him.
I'm glad in a sense that he has stopped calling, because he never seemed to call for the kids anyway, he only used to call, said hello to whoever picked up the phone, ask for me and then would bombard me for up to 30 minutes with questions about what I was doing...not asking about the kids.
That's when I told him to not bother phoning to talk to me, but to have a chat with the kids and he eventually gave up.
He is also living with his girlfriend and her 3 daughters, plays happy family with them and doesn't bother to send child support.
The child support agency managed to get hold of him once, but it looks like he slipped away again, because the last payment I had of him was on the 5th of September.
Still, I rather be without his money then having to ever see him again.
They say there is a very fine line between love and hate and he crossed that line many years before we actually got divorced.
Good luck with everything.
*huggles*
If you ever feel the need to talk, pm me and I send you my messenger ID.

killah_maiden

Right now I am taking the necessary steps to file for divorce and custody. My soon to be ex husband is now in the Coast Guard and does not send child support. He is living with his new girlfriend and he doesn't call.

He went to jail for 2 weeks and has probation for 3 years due to attacking me while I was pregnant with our child. He did alot of worse things but I ended saving him from going to jail for 17 years because he threatened me and I was afraid... so he only got off with the minimum.

He has had a history of substance abuse and his family was involved as well... I have a meeting with my lawyer next week. If any wants to chat just pm me. This is a difficult time for me.

Hanamura-sensei

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