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you might be a redneck...

1. if you have a gun for everyday of the week
2. if think if someone is autistic, it means that they are good at drawing (inspired by a prep at ember's school)
3. if you go hunting with a $300 rifle
4. if your gun cost more than your house
5. if you just got 100 slaps to your neck (it might be red by then)
6. if you have suicide thoughts for missing a jeff foxworthy special
7. if you got your spouse deer meat, jerky, and a deer hide that you made yourself

If your favorite restaurant requires you to "please drive up to the window"

*You kiss your dog more often than you do your kids. (I don't... but then, I don't really kiss anybody.)
*Your grandkids aren't allowed in the house... but the granddogs are welcome. (My good ol' granddad...)
*You just aren't comfortable unless you have 3+ dogs.
*You get into fistfights with your brother... and you are a girl. (It wasn't a serious fistfight. Just a game, really.)
*You have a necklace made from a bolt with a couple of nuts screwed on. (I do. I also have a hanging decoration made from a giant hook, a fish-shaped lure and a spoon...)
*You have to go outside to get to your bedroom. (Yup.)
*Your favorite repair tools are fishing line and duct or electrical tape. (Yes.)
*As soon as you were old enough, your dad inducted you into the family business... running a dairy. (I work for the guy in question, and although we're not related, it was my dad who set me up there.)
*You can think of this many accurate ways to tell if one is a redneck.

if you are on a website where you can make an alternate personality and you turn it into a redneck.

Straight from an episode of Blue Collar TV:
1. If think Nsync is where your dirty dishes are you might be a redneck
2. If you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner you might be a redneck
3. If think a 401K is your mother-in-law’s bra size you might be a redneck
4. If your dad’s cell number had nothing to do with a telephone you might be a redneck
5. If you keep a fly swatter on the front seat of the car so you can reach your children in the back of the car you might be a redneck
6. If you’ve ever been accused of lying through your tooth you might be a redneck
7. If you work without a shirt on and so does your husband you might be a redneck
8. If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger changed your life you might be a redneck
9. If you’ve ever worn a tube top to a funeral home you might be a redneck
10. If you’ve ever opened a beer during a eulogy you might be a redneck
11. If you’ve ever ridden an electric floor buffer you might be a redneck
12. If you’ve ever emptied the bed of your pickup truck by driving backwards really fast and slamming on the brakes you might be a redneck
13. If you’ve ever used a bar stool for a walker you might be a redneck
14. If think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn
15. If there’s an electronic singing fish in more than 3 rooms of your home you might be a redneck
16. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty you might be a redneck
17. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 miles an hour you might be a redneck
18. If somebody tells you you have something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is you might be a redneck
19. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side you might be a redneck
20. If you wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn’t you might be a redneck
21. If you’ve ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate you might be a redneck
22. If you’ve ever had your n****e bitten off by a beaver you might be a redneck
for those interested in seeing the whole video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWRZfGYJLKA&feature=related

You know you might be a redneck if you go to family git-togethers to pick up chicks.

I love this one. Classic.

You might be a redneck if you find these jokes offensive.