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 Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 7:37 pm
That it is impossible for my girlfriend and I to visit a GYN to have sex. If we get tested before hand for any dangerous STD, is that safe? And does St Johns have a special STD clinic that I can go into and get checked? Thats the only place we could get to.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 9:16 pm
I don't know what St. Johns has available to you. You would have to call them and ask.
That would be nice if you guys got tested for STDs, but she still has to go to an ob-gyn. Girls have to go every year to get their paps. Girls can also only get hormonal birth control from the ob-gyn.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:04 pm
If she can't visit a gyn, then it might be too soon to have sex 'cause a female should see a gyn when she becomes sexually active or reaches whatever age it is wherever you are.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 6:27 pm
It ticks me off because we can't do anything about it. None of our friends will drive us, we don't have much money, and her mom is a b***h and won't take her to the doctors. We're emotionally and physically ready, but all these other things that you have to do. Her mom has sex with some guy she met once, and we've been dating for months and can't have sex out of love. We don't want it for lust like her mom. This is stupid.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:34 pm
If you truly want it out of love, then you can wait. Love does not have to rush.
Yeah, her mom is free to sleep with whomever she chooses, consider it a perk of being an adult. Adults can get to the ob-gyn. We can also get birth control, consider having a child, or get an abortion if need be. Some teens can do all that stuff too, just not as easily as most adults can. So basically, her mother can have sex in a responsible way. You two can't right now.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:24 pm
Well, I don't think it is proper for a mother with 2 children to just have met a guy, get drunk, and sleep with him while her kids are awake. I mean, she knew him less than 24 hours. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 months, and have known her for a year. Its just sick how people hook up like that. They know nothing of eachothers backgrounds (girlfriends, wives, husbands) and they slept with eachother. While I was there too as a matter a fact. I'm just soo mad. Love should be before lust and people should be understanding. And her mom has a boyfriend and him. Just horrible.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:38 pm
You can't pass your morals off on other people though. Just because you want to know someone and love them before having sex with them does not mean you are "right" and other people are "wrong." You have to learn that people are different. We're comfortable with different things and move at different paces.
I have had sex on the first date. I have had sex with people when I did not know their last name. I have had sex with people and never saw them again. I have slept with people that I knew for less than 24 hours too. Does that mean I am "horrible" or "sick"? Of course not. It just means you and I have different opinions about sex apparently. You can't call people names simply because they do not agree with you.
Whether she has two children or not isn't relevant. Moms have sex lives too. Even if she has a boyfriend and is sleeping with someone else, that's their business, not yours. Some people have multiple partners, and the partners do know about it. So I don't see what your point is in bringing her sex life into this. It still boils down to she's an adult and can have sex in a responsible way, you cannot.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:21 pm
The problem is she said she wouldn't cheat and she did. And you would think that she would go to his house and do that, and not while her kids and daughters boyfriend can hear. It just very unessary to do that. Especially in a place we have all visited and usually visit. If she just didn't do that there, or even told her current boyfriend, it would be a little more considerate. The fact I don't really like her is because she is a bad influacne. She tells her daughter she shouldn't be dating me and she should marry a guy with lots of money. Its just not right to tell you kids that greed is before love. I'm just plain old mad at her. And she doesn't let her at my house. I am responsible, I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I don't do drugs. I'm not abstinant, but I am actually concerned with health. Thats why I haven't slept with her already. Its just horrible that everyone treats me like I don't have a say in anything. And its all because I'm black, and my girlfriend even told me her mom doesn't want her dating me because I'm black. I guess I'm just from a different time. Sorry to waste your time Lorien and anyone else who is reading this.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:38 pm
You're not wasting my time. If I thought that, I would not respond. You have a lot of potential. If her mother does not see it, so be it. She might be able to make it tough for you guys right now, but your girlfriend will be able to drive and even live on her own in just a few more years.
Maybe her mother is a bad influence. Maybe she is just plain awful. I don't know. But you can make it easier on all of you by trying your best to avoid her when possible. You might not agree with her decisions and opinions, but she probably is trying, in her own way, to help her daughter. Luckily for everyone, any racism the mother has does not seem to be rubbing off on the daughter. xp
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 6:38 pm
It's probably not safe, per se, but I hate to sound bitchy and all, but really, you guys could have sex and not visit the GYN until you were able to. I think that when shes legal age and has her own insurance card on her, that she can go by herself. It really depends on how old you are. However, if you guys could somehow drive to any sort of free clinic, you may be able to get a work up there.
Whether or not St Johns has an STD clinic, I dont know, but anywhere that there is a blood drive or anywhere that does bloodwork automatically can test for any sort of blood disorders or infections, including STDs. Standard procedure.
Plus, you know, there are so many other things you can and probably have done with her. You could keep doing those until you guys have access to stuff. :/
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