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 Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:39 pm
••♥♥••...
So most of you probably don't know about this, and that's fine... but Toastie needs to vent so she's gonna explain the story to you and rant like nobody's business.
2-3 years ago:
Toastie got into a huuuge fight with her best friend. Her friend decided she wanted to go to a friend's birthday party and drink. And that's fine. Really. But while she was drunk, she pretty much cheated on her boyfriend. A really really good friend of Toastie's, who used to live in Canada and moved to England. Anyway, said best friend was internet dating said english friend because she's a nerd like that.
Toastie decided she didn't want her english friend to be hurt by the cheating, which continued on after the hangover so after about a week of said best friend's shady behavior, Toastie told english friend. They had a talk, had a fight, and eventually broke up. English friend said he was grateful and would rather have found out sooner than never... which is what best friend was planning. Best friend got angry, flared up, calmed down, everything went back to normal.
A month or two later, best friend decided she had something to say about the matter again, and thus wrote a curt message on a sticky note, passed it to Toastie during band when she couldn't say anything back, and high-tailed it out of there like a scared chicken. Toastie got pissed.
Toastie told said best friend that enough was enough, yelled and got angry, and eventually said if she wished to continue the friendship, she should talk to Toastie in person. No instant messenger, no phone calls, no sticky notes to hide behind. Said best friend never did anything, and friendship ended.
Said best friend then decided she hadn't had enough and eventually turned nearly all of Toastie's friends against her... friends Toastie had introduced best friend to in grade 9.
tl;dr
Toastie ended grade 11 with 2/a lot friends left, a burning desire to switch schools, and a massive headache.
1-2 years ago:
Toastie's band teacher convinced her to stay for grade 12, and she started her last year of high school like she did her first... with no friends. A few months in, she gathered a new group of acquaintances from grades 9-11 and started patching her life back together. This patching caused her to need to go back for an additional year of upgrading, because she didn't choose the classes she needed because she was too preoccupied by trying to survive social devastation.
The end of the year came, Toastie didn't go to her Graduation ceremony or dance since she only had one friend left from that grade that she really trusted, and she pretty much felt like a complete outcast that wouldn't belong even if she did go.
Long story short, "best friend" ruined about two years of Toastie's life because she couldn't handle talking about her problems face to face.
Present:
"best friend" forgets what the fight was about in the first place. Toastie starts working with a friend of "best friend", and she tells her all about how Toastie still feels about the whole thing. "Best friend" decides to wander onto facebook and send a message asking for Toastie to let sleeping dogs lie because she doesn't remember what the whole thing was about.
So now, Toastie's responded with exactly the same thing she told "best friend" 2-3 years ago, and is just dreading what's going to happen. And what she should if "best friend" grows a spine.
Can you really forgive someone for 2-3 years of crap in a heartbeat like that? It's a difficult position. Toastie never really thought it would happen. She always figured "best friend" would either go away forever, or talk about it when it was a problem. Not 2-3 years down the road when details are fuzzy, and it's hard to figure out "what comes next".
I guess it really shows what kind of person "best friend" really was... she didn't have the spine to talk about it when it was fresh and it really mattered... but she does when things are fuzzy and she figures no one really remembers it anyway. She couldn't just own up to her mistake in the present... and Toastie's not entirely sure she's going to own up to it now anyway... :/
whew. rants are heavy.
 Wallflower...
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:52 am
I went through something similar, but yours tops mine.
If it were me, I wouldn't fully trust this girl. If you want to start talking to her again. But don't reveal anything too personal to her. Not sure what else to say.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 10:16 am
I am probably not the best person to be giving advice, because I have problems with my social life in general, but...
If it was me, I would forgive her, not hold a grudge or anything, but I would not become friends with her, or be too friendly or anything like that. Just because she doesn't remember how much she hurt you doesn't mean she didn't hurt you. Personally, I wouldn't get together to talk with her because it will only end up in her telling you to "let it go" or "what's the big deal?" or trying to justify her actions. When I got hit by that truck a couple weeks ago, the guy called while I was in the hospital. My dad was polite, but he didn't let the guy try and justify himself. He was wrong, he hit me, and no amount of "I didn't see her" would change that. This may be the wrong thing to say, but I wouldn't try and talk to her anymore, at all. She obviously has no idea the impact her actions had on you, and you need to be able to leave her behind and continue with your life.
tl;dr : <3333333333333333333333 ~
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 8:11 pm
Well... she showed what kind of person she was before; manipulative, vengeful, and a cheater to boot.
No, don't forgive her, just forget her. The only thing I can see from her, is the same thing that happened before; she'll try and make your life a living hell when you do something "she doesn't like" and she won't even have the gall to try to talk to you.
And if you manage to talk to her in person, and she says that "I can't remember"... do yourself a favor and refresh her memory... let her know what kind of b***h she is...
Then, after you've throughly torn into her, tell her you're never going to speak to her again, and leave. Leave the memories, leave the hurt, leave the b***h, and enjoy your life without a poisonous person such as her...
^_^
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:02 pm
Sibeiko Well... she showed what kind of person she was before; manipulative, vengeful, and a cheater to boot. No, don't forgive her, just forget her. The only thing I can see from her, is the same thing that happened before; she'll try and make your life a living hell when you do something "she doesn't like" and she won't even have the gall to try to talk to you. And if you manage to talk to her in person, and she says that "I can't remember"... do yourself a favor and refresh her memory... let her know what kind of b***h she is... Then, after you've throughly torn into her, tell her you're never going to speak to her again, and leave. Leave the memories, leave the hurt, leave the b***h, and enjoy your life without a poisonous person such as her... ^_^ Reason #2 why to never piss off Sib.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:58 am
n_n
Sibby, every time you post somewhere i love you more.
<3
Update: So she seems slightly desperate to talk to me. She's been messaging Toastie on facebook constantly, wanting to set up a place to chat. I agreed, but i don't think i'm going to get much out of it.
She seems to have the idea in her head that i'm a pathetic loser who sits at home all day, doesn't have a job or a driver's license and rides the bus to get places, since she chose a meeting spot with easy bus access and told me it was just a short bus ride from the terminal... stare Then she went on to say a certain time would be wonderful for her, since she had labs all morning and would be done after a certain time...
I promptly told her i had to work all day.
But i think she's wheeling and dealing with a girl i work with - Kristen, because as soon as i mentioned that i worked that day, she started asking to meet on monday... and if not, the monday after.... like she knew i had mondays off.
The deeper Toastie crawls into this meeting, the more forboding it seems... i may ask a friend to come along just in case the 3vil one has something in mind. Like drugging me and stuffing me in a sack and throwing me into the river.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:22 pm
You should definitely bring a friend. That way, you can prove you have your life together and, more importantly, prove that you DO have friends and could manage perfectly well without her.
<3 ILU TOASTIE
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 2:24 am
I suggest staying the HELL away from her. Not bother talking to her or anything. She screwed up your life, you have no need or obligation to bring her back in. She obviously has no remorse. Just let her alone.
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:19 am
 That girl is bad news and it does seem like she's planning something. If you're curious, why not ask Kristen what's going on. But other than that, I honestly wouldn't even meet with her. Tell her you have no interest with being friends with her again, and that if she continues to message you on Facebook you'll block her. Don't say anything like I'll never forgive or badtalk her, just leave it neutral like that. You have no interest.
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:12 pm
••♥♥••kso... i talked to Kristen today.
Apparently she was trying to weasel out of Esther why we were fighting... because i never actually told her all of the details.
The more Toastie hears of this, the less she likes it. Anyway, apparently Kristen's poking caused Esther to message Toastie on Facebook... and then the rest was history.
Toastie has to go talk to the 3bil one though, she said she would if the girl ever got her act together and if Toastie didn't go, she'd be just as bad as her and i'm not. So Toastie's going to go, but she's going to see if current best friend wants to go to manga store, go to manga store, and detour to the meeting place in between. Just so we're not alone...Wallflower...
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:31 pm
Well... just try and and keep your head above your heart, so to speak; logic will serve you better in such a situation than emotion...
Er, what I mean, is that you should try and keep your cool. Yes, I did say that you *should* lay into her, but, getting too heated about it will not make you seem any better... and I think Q's advice may be a bit better regarding a potential meeting than mine... ^_^( )
In any case, good luck, especially if she is planning something... Hell, if you've got one, hide a tape recorder on yourself... o_o
And Helium, what's the 1st reason? O_O( )
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![[Q]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/23/15/1f06246f41523_flip.png?t=1465986572_6.00_11)