WARNING:
I am sorry if I have offended anyone in anyway with these tips. They are just supposed to be fun! Seriously, they aren't meant to offend, and I'm sorry if I have offended you. Don't leave me mail saying how I offended you with some joke, because then I'm going to play virtual basketball with your mail and slam dunk it into the trash bin and then empty said trash bin. So see, you were warned that these may be offensive to some, so don't come yelling at me! *Sets up trash can.*

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- If you are shot... play dead. If you die... play... not dead.
- Senior citizens will take advantage of 21 cent coffee if they can get it with their discount. So if you work at McDonald's... AVOID THE MORNING SHIFT!!
- Slush balls are now illegal. There are slush ball patrol's everywhere >.>
- Korean food is the best there is =)
- Goths have a HUGE advantage in flashlight tag!
- @#%$@ and other symbols may block the word your saying, but everyone gets what you're trying to say you twit! >.>
- ¥☼ Hehe! I mean, fear me, for I can type not words onto the computer! ☼¥
- Only idiots play Russian Roulette. Honestly, I don't care about the odds. Even if they are 1 in 6, people still die!! Stop the madness! *Cries*
- Not everything is a guitar, so put down your keyboard... and mouse... and soda cup... and just go get a real guitar. It's that simple! Geesh!
- Wow, you know a game's bad when it lags more than the NES games. Wow... that right there is a bad game. Yup... bad...bad game...
- I think I'm starting to get distracted halfway through my- OMG A LEAF!
- Concrete is not edible, nor food.
- If you're scared of bad people online... just ignore everyone you don't know! That simple.
"Hey man you look cool!"
"..."
"You there?"
"..."
"Loser! *leaves*"
It's that simple =)
- Pie is good, but don't go around telling everyone that. They give you the "You're a crazy idiot, you know that?" look. I have gotten that look many of times...
- Don't spit on bugs and then suck your spit back up... That's just asking for trouble... More specifically, a crap load of bugs in your mouth.
- If you don't like something for dinner, eat a bit of it, and then spread the rest randomly around your plate. They'll never figure it out...
- If you are prone to crying, don't treat each day like your last!
- Whom bats have feelings too.
- Throwing things up trees isn't as fun as it sounds.
- It's only funny when other people get in trouble.
- Why throw pie when you can eat it?
- Pick strong kids for your team and let the weak kids make up the other. Mass carnage.
- Airborne food is deadly.
- Animation can be scary...
- If you have three or more chins, it's a safe bet you're fat.
- Don't get a case of the Mondays.
- Just because it's scary doesn't mean you have to add "zilla" to the end of it.
- Sharpened sticks shouldn't kill you. Keyword: Shouldn't.
- Only the weak cry about braces after they are put on. It honestly didn't hurt... Getting them on or afterwards.
- You know you're fat when you eat two boxes of toaster strudels and then demand a batch of cinnamon buns... in 30 minutes.
- If a co-worker dies in his office... leave him for someone else... and if no one takes care of him... call your trash service.
- Stop trying to invent a toilet in your desk. It won't work. Also, are you that lazy you can't walk to the bathroom?
- A pie-thon is not a pastry, nor a contest.
- Making fun of yourself just opens it up for others to make fun of you.
- Mr. Good-bars are good!
- Silent protagonists suck.
- When called on, just say "I plead the fifth."
- Threaten to take your enemy to the guidance box, then point to somewhere on the floor. They'll back off.
- If you're so skinny people can see your ribs, get some white pants and paint any visible part of yourself white. Whal-la, a cheap costume.
- Let your ego run wild.
-To pass as a Canadian, just add "Ay!" to the end of every sentence or so.
- The only reason salt is sprinkled on the edge's of sumo wrestling stages is so when the sumo wrestler is knocked down, he can eat something to gain some strength.
- Making fun of others just opens it up for someone to find an exploit on you and make fun of you for it.
- Drinking anything is not a sport.
- Don't get all your friends to sing "Happy Birthday" to another friend. No one else wants to hear that crap.
- Bingo games are rigged. I figured those cheats out!!
- No one wants to hear stories involving your underwear...
- You're not getting taller, they're getting shorter!
- No hits above the waist! I want to see a clean fight!
- There's no point in trying to breed a cat and dog together.
- No your dog does not understand you.
- My job isn't as fun as it looks...
- You won't get money for your charity drive by shaking a jar of money in some one's face.
- "Pffffft!" Is not a word.
- ~! Squigglies are letters! H~! See, now you can spell h~!
- This is going nowhere...
- Don't schedule your fundraiser during someone else's. Esp. if theirs is more popular!!
- Eat your heart out?! What the #@*$ does that mean?!? Oops, I need to refer to tip number six! =P
- Wear your name proudly.
- <3 Looks nothing like a heart. More like something invisible eating a 3.
- Camo is good... until you are by yourself in the woods and get injured!!

More to come!

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I am sorry if I have offended anyone in anyway with these tips. They are just supposed to be fun! Seriously, they aren't meant to offend, and I'm sorry if I have offended you. Don't leave me a comment saying how I offended you with some joke, because then I'm going to play virtual basketball with your comment and slam dunk it into the trash bin and then empty said trash bin. YOU WERE WARNED!

Comments are appreciated!