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 Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:16 pm
Everybody who knows me well agrees- I'm a very impatient person. Being a Freshman female at BYU-I and living in an apartment with at least one VERY hormonal female makes it worse.
I know I'm only 18 and I've only been here 1 1/2 months, but I'm so impatient! I try not to be, but when all one of my roomies talks about is guys, it's so hard to stay focused. I'm so scared to talk to guys, and I want a date really badly. It just feels like dating and marriage and all of that are so far away, like they'll never come. Time is going by so slowly.
Can any of you help me to be more patient? I'll be the first to confess- I really want to get my M.R.S. Degree here, and I'm so scared of not meeting mt EC for a long time- seeing my sister so happy with her fiance also makes me feel extra hormonal.
I don't want to hear any, "Things'll get better eventually" because that doesn't help me feel better now, looking ahead, when everything looks so far away. What do I do in the meantime? I know the Lord will make sure all things work together for my good, but what do I do until then while the wait is driving me crazy? I can get myself to be patient for a few hours, days even if I'm very careful, but c'mon- it's BYU-Idaho. People are constantly talking about marriage, and there are jewelry shops all over this place.
Thanks in advance.
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 6:59 pm
Alright, this coming from a guy who dated a girl that, all she wanted was to get married. That was in the forfront of her mind. I couldn't stand it for very long, so you know where that went. Marriage is something that is a HUGE life decision not to be made in haste. Right now is probably not a good time for you. I mean, you only 18. Don't think about marriage right now. It won't end very well. Focus on education and your job/carrier right now. Doing that will better prepare you for when Mr.Right does come around. That's all I have to say.
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 12:19 am
Just remember that all things come in the Lords time.
Have your friends out side of class, but once you are in the class room focus and do your work, concentrate on your grades. Do what you can to make sure your education is the best it can be.
I was 23 when I met and married my husband. he was 25.
we both wanted to get married young, but it took us until we were emotional ready before we even met eachother.
I know it's hard, but don't worry. you will eventually get your M.R.S. Degree.
Just focus on studies, and yes you should date, and date many many many men. so that you will know what you do and don't like.
if a guy can't hand a girl who wants to date lots of people, then he's not worth it.
Also the only person who can recice personal revelation for you, is you.
If God tells a man he is suppossed to marry you, guess what, God is going to tell you the same thing. Don't just take his word for it, because untill he actulally marries you, he can not recive personal revelation for you.
God can say, hey marry my daughter, but he never says hey tell my daughter that I told you she has to marry you.
always look in your heart and your head when making these desicions.
sorry to go off on this, but I've just seen way to many young girls fall for the wrong guy because they wanted to hurry up and get married.
all it did was destroy two wonderful people lives.
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:38 am
If you think about how long you will be married for (if you do it right) and how long you will be single - it is very disproportionate. Most people are in their 20's when they get married and life expectancy is 70 + now - so you can expect to be married for an average of 50 + years, right? I am not trying to make marriage sound bad - it is wonderful!, but it is a new phase - and trips, new clothes and furniture, and personal entertainment budget usually gets put on the back burner afterwards as you learn to become one on the same team in the same direction - especially when children come along! I know several young ladies who have taken trips to Hawaii or Europe together and gone camping and to the firesides and other things together while they are waiting for "Mr. Right" to come along - and they earn their degrees and study in their fields of interests and hobbies to become more well rounded and comfortable in their own skins. I think anything you can do to become a better YOU is the best thing you can do right now. Don't spend a lot of time just waiting for things to happen. BECOME who YOU want to be.
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:14 pm
I know 18 is young. I want to get married young, but not THIS young...but for some reason, the hormones are still there. I don't get nearly enough homework to keep me busy, and all one of my roommates can talk about is guys, which makes me really hormonal, although I know I'm not ready to deal with such a permanent relationship.
I'm not asking advice on how to get married early, or anything- I think people are mistaking my meaning. I mean, how do I deal with the hormones until I am ready to start dating/looking seriously?
I'm not stupid. I know better than to go for the first guy who talks to me, I know not to settle and that other people can't receive that type of revelation for me. But it's hard to "focus on my education" when I get so little homework, don't have a car to take me to do exciting things, and have a couple VERY hormonal roommates. I never said I want marriage NOW, or even within a year's time. I just want help in dealing with the hormones that I have no place/use for right now.
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:40 pm
I apologize - I did misunderstand what you meant. I had a roommate that took at least 3 hours every morning to get ready - she was a Miss something-or-rather where she grew up and she was a knock-out. She also talked non-stop about the guys that were taking her out - how much they spent, how they tried to "make the moves on her" and how she felt about that and if they were good kissers and how it made her feel....you get the point. It was very frustrating. You can not help but respond to certain stimulus as long as you have a physical body. It also colored how I felt when I greeted "the good kisser", the "Russian Idea and Roman Hands" guy, etc. It was sometimes very awkward for me because I couldn't completely elimanate the thoughts when I saw them. Have you checked in your student ward and made any friends that you could "shift" apartment mates with that everyone might be happier for? I changed roommates at the middle of the year (sememster break) and didn't tell them why - just that I felt I was getting closer to the girl that I ended up sharing an apartment with (we were roommates for 3 years!) and it helped to have another person who was trying to reach her potential and was just fun to go places and do things with without all the rest of the stuff. I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your roommates. Let us know how it goes - I'll bet there are others out there that they can use the solutions everyone comes up with!
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:09 pm
You might also look up "Patience" in the Topical Guide and make notes of or highlight the verses that speak to you. Patience isn't one of my strong suites either, but I find that studying the scriptures like that helps.
Another thing you can do is fine something physical to do, like hiking, skiing, horseback riding or some kind of sport. Don't run yourself into the ground or anything but if you burn up enough energy that way, your body won't have as much energy for being "hormonal" either. smile
And, as always, pray for strength and support and guidance in all you do. smile
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 2:06 am
Itesa You might also look up "Patience" in the Topical Guide and make notes of or highlight the verses that speak to you. Patience isn't one of my strong suites either, but I find that studying the scriptures like that helps. Another thing you can do is fine something physical to do, like hiking, skiing, horseback riding or some kind of sport. Don't run yourself into the ground or anything but if you burn up enough energy that way, your body won't have as much energy for being "hormonal" either. smile And, as always, pray for strength and support and guidance in all you do. smile Bravo! Why do we always forget that the Lord knows how to comfort and direct in all things? Or not have enough trust that because it is important to us it is to Him as well?
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 10:19 pm
My roommate and I have started going dancing on Wednesday nights (I go swing, but she goes to the dark side- country), which is really helpful to me because it lets the hormones out and it's excercise. I also love learning how to dance with a partner! Its loads of fun! Now only if it were more often...
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:41 am
Good for you! It is also a useful skill - believe it or not. Brigham Young even encouraged that during the trek west.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 9:14 am
As I said in another thread - it was at a church dance that I met the one who is going to become my eternal companion in two months.
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