Welcome to Gaia! ::

ACT 1
ACT 1, SCENE 1

GOKU: I am the strongest warrior on earth!
VEGETA: That's just because you're a Saiyan, and we're, like, a hundred times as strong as humans, naturally.

GOKU: Okay, I can buy that.

VEGETA: Not being from earth, though, I can wipe the floor with you.

GOKU: Oh, BRING IT ON!!!!!!!

FIGHT!

GOKU: Hey, what do I know, I won somehow.

VEGETA: I’m going to Namek so I can get the Dragon Balls and wish myself to be the greatest warrior in the universe!

GOKU: Oh, yeah? Well, I’m going to Namek so I can get the Dragon Balls and wish back to life all of those friends of mine you killed.

Namek

FRIEZA: The Dragon Balls are as good as mine.

GOKU: Who the hell is that???

VEGETA: That's Frieza; he's the strongest fighter in the universe. Basically, he could kick the a** of ten of me, and he pwnd our entire species.

GOKU: Okay, I can buy that.

VEGETA: Also, he can destroy planets, all on his own without aid of technology or anything.

GOKU: That seems a little implausible, the laws of the universe being what they are, but then, he is the strongest fighter in the universe. Okay, I’ll bite, but man, he better be the strongest opponent I ever face--and I mean, EVER!!!

VEGETA: ...Um, sure.

FRIEZA: You, monkey, come here. I feel like some cheap entertainment, so I’m going to kill you.

GOKU: Is he talking to ME? Man, how do these freaks find me?

ACT 1, SCENE 2

FIGHT!

GOKU: Hey, I just got ridiculously powerful, and I’m suddenly blonde for some reason.

VEGETA: OMG! You're a Super-Saiyan?! How did you do that? I’ve been trying for years! WTF is this bullshit?

GOKU: *shrugs* Well, it makes about as much sense as anything else in this show. So, I’m the most powerful fighter in the universe now? Sweet. I guess that that means that the show is over. Ah, well, it was fun while it lasted. Time to go home.

VEGETA: Can I come, too? My planet was destroyed.

GOKU: Well, you did kill all my friends that one time, but what the hell. They're all alive again, anyway, so no harm, no foul, I suppose.

Earth

GOKU: Home sweet home.

FRIEZA: Not so fast, monkey!

GOKU: Hey, that hurts my feelings--and didn't I kill you?

FRIEZA: I’m a cyborg now, and better than ever!

GOKU: Well, I guess I should have expected something like this to happen. I guess I ought to just be grateful my show isn't over yet, and just get on with kicking the crap out of this guy again.

TRUNKS: That will not be necessary. I’ll take care of these pests.

PWNS!!!!!

GOKU: Gee, thanks...but who the hell are you? And how come you're so powerful? You just kicked the crap out of Super-Frieza and his papa.

TRUNKS: With ease.

GOKU: Which only makes you more implausible.

TRUNKS: Oh, yeah, I’m, like, fifty times as strong as that loser.

ACT 1, SCENE 3

GOKU: Really? You're fifty times as strong as the guy who DESTROYS PLANETS with a wave of his pinky? This is getting REALLY ridiculous.

TRUNKS: That's not all, though. I’m from the future.

GOKU: ...Of course you are. Well, makes more sense than everything else here.

TRUNKS: I actually came back to warn you about some evil robots that take over my future.

GOKU: ...Rreeeaalllyy??? Something you can't deal with???

TRUNKS: Oh, yeah. They're, like fifty times as powerful as I am.

GOKU: Goddamnit, what the hell is wrong with this show? Well, we're screwed.

TRUNKS: Nuh-uh! Just train really, really hard.

GOKU: And that's supposed to work??? Well, will you at least stay with us and train us?

TRUNKS: Nope. I just remembered that I left some instant ramen on the stove in my time, and I’ve got to get back before it burns. *leaves*

GOKU: ...But...you've got...a time machine...oh, whatever. Freak.

three years later

GOKU: Well, here we are. where are these freaks?

ANDROIDS 19 & 20: You cannot defeat us!
VEGETA: Wanna bet? *Super Saiyan mode*

pwns

SECONDARY CHARACTERS: Ooh, Uber-Pwnage.

TRUNKS: *arrives* Hey, whats up?

VAGETA: We didn't need your stupid help to defeat these androids after all, future-boy.

TRUNKS: WTF? These aren't the androids! They're cheap knockoffs, probably made out of parts of old soviet tanks.

VAGETA: You lied to us??? You think this is some sick game??? I am going to kick your a**, boy!

ACT 2
ACT 2, SCENE 1

TRUNKS: ...This explains why I can't remember the first six years of my life.

VEGETA: Huh?

TRUNKS: Never mind. Let’s just go find the real androids.

GOKU: Hey, look! That idiotic #20 is leading us right to them!

17: You led them right to us, you idiot!

18: Foolish old man.

20: Is that any way to talk to your master?

pwn

18: I’m sorry, were you saying something?

17: Idiot.

GOKU: Um, hello, good guys over here, waiting to kick your a**.

17: Oh, right. Hi, I’m 17. I have a thing for ascots.

18: And I’m 18. I have a fetish for bald midgets I can kick the crap out of whenever I feel like.

KRILLIN: Yo, I’m your man.

18: Awesome.

TRUNKS: Bring it on! We've been training for three years to deal with you.

17: Did we mention that we're twice as strong as our counterparts from the other universe?

TRUNKS: Oh, ********. Well, we can still take you on...right, guys?

pwn

TRUNKS: Man, we got pwnd!

GOKU: Well, we're screwed.

VEGETA: Nuh-uh! We'll just turn into Super-Super-Saiyans!

GOKU: We can do that?

VEGETA: Sure, why not.

TRUNKS: Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?

GOKU: ...Retards.

PICOLO: Don't worry, I’ve got an idea! *flies off*

GOKU: Huh, I wonder what his idea is?

kame's place

PICOLO: Give me your power, old man!

KAME: No.

PICOLO: I’ll kick your ******** a** of you don't!

KAME: Oh, alright.

ACT 2, SCENE 2


PICOLO: Sweet. Time to kick some tin can.*flies back* What did I miss.

GOKU: Nothing important. my son won the Nobel Prize. Stuff like that.

PICOLO: Chump. Hey, androids, I’m going to kill you now.

17: Ha! I’d like to see you try.

fight

17: Oh, crap, maybe he CAN win! *regains composure* ...Maybe.

GOKU: Well, looks like I’m no longer the hero of this story. Well, I’m outie, boys. Gonna smoke a cigarette and chill.

CELL: NOT SO FAST!

GOKU: Oh, ********, who the hell is this character?

CELL: I'm ten times as strong as the androids! *absorbs 17* and now I’m one hundred times as strong.

GOKU: Oh, I can't believe this s**t.

TIEN: C'mon guys, lets defend the androids.

GOKU: Weren't we just trying to kill them?

TIEN: if cell eats 18, we're all screwed.

GOKU: More screwed than we are now?

GOHAN: Hey, dad, remember the plot device.

GOKU: Oh, right, the hyperbolic time chamber. Let’s go become even more ridiculously powerful than we are already.

TIEN: Go ahead without me. I can hold him off.

GOKU: ...'Kay. Good luck with that.

next day

VEGETA: Ha-ha! I have become a Super-Super-Saiyan! You owe me ten bucks, Goku!

GOKU: Goddamnit. I should have figured that the writers are retarded. Someone tell me, seriously, how such a thing evolved into my species? What the hell kind of conditions did we face on planet Vegeta to warrant this sort of thing?

ACT 2, SCENE 3

VAGETA: I don't know, but if our planet still existed, I’d like to take you to see one of our many Majjin Buu reserves. They're an endangered species.

GOKU: ...I’m going into the time chamber now.

VAGETA: You do that. trunks and I are going cell hunting. just stay out of my way, boy.

meanwhile

CELL: I have finally found you, 18!

VEGETA: Not so fast! I’m gonna pwn you.

CELL: As tho.

pwns

CELL: Damn, he pwnd me. How did this happen? Hey, let me absorb 18 and become super-powerful.

VEGETA: Uh, why would I do something stupid like that?

CELL: Because you want an opponent who is in your caliber to fight.

VEGETA: Uh...no, I think I would rather not risk it.

CELL: I double-dog-dare you.

VEGETA: YOU'RE ON!!!!! Eat the girl.

CELL: *absorbs 18* Ha-ha. I’m a thousand times as powerful as I was before!

VEGETA: And now you die.

pwn

VEGETA: Damn! I knew this was a bad idea.

TRUNKS: *arrives* Father, you horse's a**. Cell, I’ll kick your a**.

CELL: Oh, really?

TRUNKS: I’m a level above him! watch this! *transforms into a Super-Super-Super-Saiyan*

CELL: Yeah, you're stronger than I am.

TRUNKS: Bitchin'.

CELL: It doesn't matter, though.

TRUNKS: Why not?

CELL: Try to move.

TRUNKS: I’m too bulky! Oh, what bull is this? Suddenly, this show cares about real-world considerations such as this? Try to be consistent, writers! This should have happened LONG before we became human WMDs! So unfair.

ACT 3
ACT 3, SCENE 1

CELL: You know what? I feel pity for you and your hilariously massive bulk, so I’m going to give you and your friends ten days in which to find some way to kill me. But don't say I never did anything for you.

TRUNKS: Gee, thanks.

ten days later

CELL: You're going to fight me, Goku?

GOKU: Nah, I’m going to have my son fight you.

CELL: WHAT???

GOHAN: WHAT???

OTHERS: WHAT???

GOHAN: That is the craziest, most retarded plan I ever heard of!

GOKU: And therefore, according to the Laws of Anime Physics, it can't possibly fail.

GOHAN: Hmm, you do have me there.

GOKU: That's right. Now go make your Daddy proud.

GOHAN: What about my Nobel Prize?

GOKU: What about it?

GOHAN: Damn it, I hate this family. Alright, Cell, I guess I’m fighting you. Somehow.

16: Gohan, turn into a Super-Super-Super-Saiyan!

CELL: *destroys him* No comments from the peanut gallery.

GOHAN: You d**k! *transforms into a Super-Super-Super-Saiyan* I’m going to pwn you, and your retarded babies.

CELL: But you can't move.

GOHAN: That's Trunks you're thinking of. Unfortunately for you, I’m not a total dumbass like he is, so I did it the right way.

CELL: ********.

pwns

GOKU: Gohan, would you stop toying with him and just finish him off?

CELL: *pukes up 18* I am so screwed. Well, might as well take the planet with me.

ACT 3, SCENE 2

GOHAN: No, wait! There's plenty of reasons to live.

CELL: But you're mean to me...

GOHAN: Well, you were trying to kill everyone I care about. C'mon, cell...

GOKU: Enough of this touchy-feely s**t. *grabs cell*

*instant transmission*

KING KAI: Why the hell did you bring him here???

GOKU: It was all I can think of.

KING KAI: Don't think of here! Take him somewhere else.

GOKU: Oh, great, now that you said "don't think of here," that's all I can think of. It's like that "don't think of the Eiffel tower" game.

KING KAI: Well, can't you at least get all of us back to Earth and out of harm's way?

GOKU: Sure, I don't see why n--

*Cell explodes *
[
b]Earth

GOHAN: My dad is dead, and it's all my fault.

TRUNKS: No it's not, little buddy.

GOHAN: I could have destroyed cell in one shot, but instead I decided to torment him.

TRUNKS: Oh, then it is your fault. But the rest of us are going to live happily ever after, right? *gets shot*

CELL: I bust a cap in your a**.

GOHAN: How can you possibly be alive???

CELL: It’s called regeneration, kid. Also, I absorbed your father's ability to Instantly Transmit. I’m stronger than ever. I can destroy an entire solar system, just by willing it.

GOHAN: Dude, at this point, that's not saying much.

CELL: How do you mean?

[SCENE 3

GOHAN: Scroll up to where trunks said he was fifty times as powerful as Frieza, who destroys planets in his free time, and do the arithmetic from there. 50 x 50 x 2 x 100 x 1000 = 500,000,000. Basically, you should be able to destroy something half a billion times as massive as the earth at this point, with ease. In fact, you just made yourself weaker, if one solar system is all you can destroy.

CELL: I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU FIRST!!!

kills

GOHAN: Told ya. Let’s wish my dad back to life.

GOKU: No, you mustn't! If you do, the writers might start yet another story arch!

GOHAN: ********, he's right. Well, it was nice knowing you, dad.

TRUNKS: Well, here I go, off to my own future to kick android butt.

GOHAN: Hey, if it only took us three years of training to become strong enough to defeat the androids, how come you couldn't do it in your entire natural life?


TRUNKS: ...Um...that is...HEY LOOK AT THAT!!! *leaves*

GOHAN: Son of a b***h.

afterlife

GOKU: Well, I'm dead, but at least the show is over.

KING KAI: Don't be too sure about that.

Earth

BUU: I'm strong enough to pwn Gohan, who pwnd Cell.

afterlife

GOKU: SON OF A b***h!!! THAT'S IT, SEND ME BACK TO EARTH!!! SEND ME TO THE HOUSES OF THE WRITERS WITH A ******** UZI!!!!!

Internet.
Want the url?

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnScripts biggrin ragon_Ball_Z:_The_Missing_Episode_Transcript

It would be wa more awesome if THIS was the real thing.

You did?
Interesting...

You want to post it?

Okay.
Explain to me what the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers are, then.

How the hell do you get lovcked up into an container with only your head showing...?

Isn't he the Flying head, or something?