I am very enamored with the plot of this story. So enamored that I cannot seem to focus enough to find the errors within. I was hoping that anyone that has the time can go through it and point them out to me. I would greatly appreciate it.
Of all of the nights to be roaming about a strange land, this was not it. But the young woman clutching a small purse in one hand and the reigns of her horse in the other dared not turn back. Not yet. She read the letter to herself once again.
Travel for three days to the east, for the mountains. Continue through the darkest trail of the forest. Look for the mark of the wolf. From there head into the caves and follow the path with your hand on the left wall. Keep your eyes to the ground until you see light. Go to that light and exit the cave. After that you will come to a valley. On your horse’s back, ride through as fast as you can. Do not let your feet or any part of you touch the ground. If you do then your journey will end there. Finally at the other end of the valley, look for the greatest tree. Find the hollow that a man and horse can fit through together and there you will find the old mage. If anyone can help you, it is her.
The terrain was unfamiliar to her. Most everything over the past few days had been. She was thankful to the head guard for teaching her to survive. To escape the palace undetected, she had been forced to take drastic measures. Her hair was tied back in a newly short ponytail. Her chest had been bound in bandages and then she had taken her brothers’ old uniform. Dressed in that she crept to the stables and, after lovingly stroking her gentle mares’ nose; took the reigns of a fiery but fast stallion. The animal wouldn’t be missed as much as the horse of the crowned princess. After all, it had nearly killed the last trainer that attempted to saddle it. She had always been good with animals and this one was no exception. Though he gave her a bit of trouble every now and then, he quickly came to heel after a few tender words and strokes to the back of his neck.
Normally, Kialey would have had no reason to leave the safety and comfort of the palace, but there was something woefully wrong within its walls. Something that had forced the young princess to take action before she too fell victim to the force that moved into her home not five days ago. Her brother and regent had recently taken a wife. But he kept her hidden from the family until the wedding day. He didn’t speak much of her before that. It was very strange. Normally he told, at least, his sister everything. To have kept this woman so secret disturbed the young woman. She had finally seen her at the wedding. The initial fear that had struck her numb was now embedded in her heart. Glade was a beautiful, but fearsome woman. Her icy green eyes held no warmth, no true emotion. The silken sheet of her black hair fell to the small of her back. She was very small and fragile looking, but there was something about her that radiated power and danger. Kialey had been content to believe that her imagination was playing with her until that third day. On the third day she had attempted to speak to her new sister, deciding that she had been very rude not to have done so already. She knocked on the door quite a few times before deciding to enter on her own. As she entered the room she expected to find her brother with his wife. But he was nowhere to be seen. She crept further and further into the room. As she neared the main chamber, she heard something almost like singing. Nearing the sound, she opened the door to the bedroom. Glade was sitting at her vanity chanting and moving her hands around a glowing ball of crystal. A steady stream of energy was flowing out of it and into her brothers’ prone form on the bed.
“Almost…almost ready… In three days time you will be mine completely, sweet prince. The spell will be complete and through you this kingdom will belong to me. I’ve waited a very long time… To think of all the years I spent in that dank, dark hell! You will keep the suspicion off of me and pave the way for my influence to spread. And to think, I never saw the relevance in marriage. It would appear that it had its uses after all!”
Kialey had retreated as quietly as she could. Miraculously, she had left without making a sound. Some of the servants had noticed a change in the monarch, but dared not say a word. Kialey had gone to the wise woman in the city. She was nearly in tears at what the woman told her.
“Glade, eh? That’s what she said her name was? I wonder just where your brother met this woman?” she asked.
“I don’t know. He never said anything about her. I didn’t know about her until, the day she married him.”
“Where was your brother the last time he left the kingdom?”
“He wouldn’t say. He said that if he didn’t come back that I knew where his last will and testament were. He wanted no one to follow him. What do you think has happened?”
“Until I know where he’s been child, I can only speculate. Tell me again what you saw and heard in the room.”
Kialey retold everything as the old woman rose and began to rifle through her stores in the back of the small building. She withdrew a large chest that the girl had to help her set on the table. With a loud click, the thing opened and a myriad of crystal globes came into view.
“If you were to see that crystal ball again, which would you say that it was? Do you see the same kind here?” the seer asked.
After a moment Kialey pointed to a medium sized sphere and nodded.
“This one. It had the same color and mark on the bottom of it. But it’s missing a mark.”
“Missing a mark? You saw another marking on the ball?”
“Yes. It looked a lot like some kind of serpent or lizard, it was strange.”
The old woman pulled out paper and pen and set it before Kialey.
“Show me what you mean,” she said darkly.
As the girls’ hand flew over the paper, the old woman let out a hoarse cry and fell back into her chair. Clutching her heart she spoke in a strained voice.
“Are you certain? Child, are you sure that is what you saw?”
“Yes. I am certain. I have a good memory with things like this. Why are you so frightened?”
“My child, I am sorry. But this is beyond my power to help you in. We are dealing with an evil that cannot be truly destroyed. This is a force beyond your nightmares. The only one that could have ever defeated this abomination has already died. I thought that it was all over…but it has risen again. Have you ever heard the story of the Widow Willow?”
“I’ve heard it in a few different versions. One says that there was once a beautiful woman that lived alone in the forest. A huntsman comes upon her one day and takes her as his wife. While hunting one day, he dies and the woman is left alone again. One night while she slept a small spider came into her window and bit her. As she lay there struggling to live through the poison, she understands what happened to her husband. Her rage helps her to live and because of the venom of the spider, she cannot die. So she remained in the dark forest alone and heartbroken and immortal.”
“Another version?”
“The same, except that she sought out the power to bring him back and sold her soul to a demon. I’ve heard that she was born a demon, and killed her husband herself. That story has been told a good many times. No one knows what is true and what is fantasy anymore.”
The seer was scribbling frantically on a piece of paper and speaking to Kialey.
"Take this and do as it says. I can try to cover your path should your absence be noticed. Go. She will help you."
All that mattered right now was finding a way to help her brother…
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