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 Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 1:33 pm
It's habitual. Every writer does it. I spend a lot of time while I am writing looking for certain words I have used recently in the manuscript. If I have used it two paragraphs earlier, I then look for another word that means the same thing.
I also do this with the he said/she said problem that so many of us seem to face. If I have already put "he said" or "she said" after a quote, I will end the next one with something else.
For example:
"That's wonderful," she said excitably, "when do we leave?"
"Not until tomorrow," he replied, his tone somewhat indifferent. The girl looked at him suspiciously.
"Is something the matter?" came the question he was dreading.
"This is neither the time nor the place," he answered, turning and walkng away as if he neither cared nor considered it worth responding to.
I'd probably use the word "said" again a couple of paragraphs later, but never in the same one. I endeavour to leave it a couple of paragraphs before using a word like that again because then I think the writing looks sloppy and careless.
This is just one example of words that are used too much (I'm not adding phrases into this particular post). Another is "slightly", although it's most often overused in role-playing more often than prose.
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Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:01 pm
Tangentially, there's a really neat way to prevent this: read your writing aloud to yourself. It has to be aloud, because our eyes fool us...
Sit down in a quiet place away from people likely to look at you oddly, and pretend you're giving a public reading at a bookstore or library. Read with feeling. If character A is speaking, get into A's head. If B, then B's. You'll catch more mis-spellings, over-uses of particular words, and run-on sentences if you do this.... My high school creative writing teacher taught me this, and it has stood me in good stead for a long time. smile
I have the same problem with using a word too many times. When it comes to the said, murmured, shouted, cried, said... thing, I do that a lot myself--trying to find other words to use. However, sometimes things can be more dramatically tense if you don't use a descriptor verb at all. Here's an example:
He could almost see in her eyes the question he had been dreading. Still, he only just barely kept from wincing when she asked: "Is something the matter?"
"No," he said, perhaps more sharply than he had intended. Her eyes narrowed.
"Then why are you acting so oddly?"
"I'm not." He shifted his feet and tried to look casual as he stared out the window. "Please don't ascribe things to me when they simply aren't so."
She looked skeptical. "I wasn't!"
"I'd like to know what you'd call it, then."
"God, you annoy me!"
He gave a faint smirk. Her expression was one of pure pique, though the look did not quite reach her eyes. If he had had to describe her right then, he would have said she looked... bored. The realization brought him up short; he turned and advanced slowly toward her, exuding menace.
"I would really like to know what you're playing at," he growled...
Notice that it is possible to advance the conversation without actually using any verbs to describe tone; it's tricky, but you can convey emotion, mood, etc. by what they do and say without using the descriptors.
I hope that helps!
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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 8:45 am
Yeah, I actually do that sometimes to be honest. Sorry I didn't mention it before; I was focusing on when we use words to describe how something is being said rather than that. It does help to some degree, but one can't do that all the time - if you catch my drift.
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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 7:00 pm
Oh, OK! I figured you might have done, but mentioned it for the sake of completeness. smile
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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 8:36 pm
JastaElf Tangentially, there's a really neat way to prevent this: read your writing aloud to yourself. It has to be aloud, because our eyes fool us...
Sit down in a quiet place away from people likely to look at you oddly, and pretend you're giving a public reading at a bookstore or library. Read with feeling. If character A is speaking, get into A's head. If B, then B's. You'll catch more mis-spellings, over-uses of particular words, and run-on sentences if you do this.... My high school creative writing teacher taught me this, and it has stood me in good stead for a long time. smile
I have the same problem with using a word too many times. When it comes to the said, murmured, shouted, cried, said... thing, I do that a lot myself--trying to find other words to use. However, sometimes things can be more dramatically tense if you don't use a descriptor verb at all. Here's an example:He could almost see in her eyes the question he had been dreading. Still, he only just barely kept from wincing when she asked: "Is something the matter?"
"No," he said, perhaps more sharply than he had intended. Her eyes narrowed.
"Then why are you acting so oddly?"
"I'm not." He shifted his feet and tried to look casual as he stared out the window. "Please don't ascribe things to me when they simply aren't so."
She looked skeptical. "I wasn't!"
"I'd like to know what you'd call it, then."
"God, you annoy me!"
He gave a faint smirk. Her expression was one of pure pique, though the look did not quite reach her eyes. If he had had to describe her right then, he would have said she looked... bored. The realization brought him up short; he turned and advanced slowly toward her, exuding menace.
"I would really like to know what you're playing at," he growled...Notice that it is possible to advance the conversation without actually using any verbs to describe tone; it's tricky, but you can convey emotion, mood, etc. by what they do and say without using the descriptors.
I hope that helps!
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Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:26 am
Another overused word....
"Suddenly."
I think suddenly is really overused as well.
Come on guys, how do you get past these issues?
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Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:13 am
I literally get past it by two metrics:
1) reading Aloud, as above...
2) looking either at an online thesaurus or a hard-copy one off the bookshelf.
One of the coolest online thesaurii, which you can use even if not a subscriber, is found here:
http://www.visualthesaurus.com/
It is actually lots of fun to play with, because of the way it breaks out words. I'm a very happy subscriber. smile
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:25 pm
Hi, I'm new here, and I thought I'd pop my head in for a moment. In his On Writing, Stephen King had mentioned that he thought all adverbs were overused, and his only advice was to avoid them.
Somehow, this advice got to me. I use them only upon occasion now. Only rarely do I ever use them to describe the way someone is speaking.
I've heard "suddenly" was one of your overused words, but any thoughts on other adverbs?
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:35 pm
A friend recently went over a story I finished for submission to a fanzine; she sent the manuscript back within a couple of days, and included a hand=painted pic of a fairy flying toward a computer in the dark of night, sprinkling the letters 'ly' (mark of an -ly adverb, don'tcha know...) onto the screen... smile I found she had redlined all of my -ly words and suggested I find other ways to express it.
I was grateful--but I cussed her name while I did the exercise. It was NOT easy.
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 1:27 pm
Adverbs are addictive. I'm still in the aspiring stage as far as being a writer and whatnot, so I am learning how to stop writing how I talk and write how I write, if that makes sense....
And I use alot of adverbs ... my teacher has commented on this sad fact.
Like I will write something (thinks of an example)
Tony ran down the street quickly. He was trying to catch the bus. Ten minutes late, coming out of the coffee shop, he was sure that his whole schedule would be thrown off-balance. With a swift glance at his watch, he bolted across the busy street before waiting for the walk signal to change. Panting he took a seat on the bus stop bench, grateful when he looked down the street and saw the approaching bus.
(I just wrote that on the spot, so there may not be that many adverbs, but I will rummage around my things and try and find a sample where I use way too many adverbs)
Also, an issue I have is with the ellipsis, which I'm sure some of ya'll may have noticed with my posting ... like if you want to do a sort of fading dramatic pause or something like that ... isn't that what you use an ellipsis for ... or maybe for the kind of thing like, you don't know what to say and you just ... fade off?
I have friends who also do this, so I know its not just me.
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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:50 pm
I'm going to go way back to the OP, because I'm difficult that way. sweatdrop DM_Melkhar I'd probably use the word "said" again a couple of paragraphs later, but never in the same one. I endeavour to leave it a couple of paragraphs before using a word like that again because then I think the writing looks sloppy and careless. I used to think that about "said" too. And then I had someone point out to me that thesaurus digging can result in things like the following... some bad fanfic written by someone who doesn't know better "I'm coming!" he ejaculated. See what I mean? "Said" has the benefit of being innocuous. You can use it as a place-holder and it doesn't give strange meanings to anything around it. Readers skim over it almost like it isn't there, yet it still gives the meaning it needs to give. Berz.
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:03 am
I don't see this so much in writing, but when listening to people talk common words(or even sounds)that are used a lot.
you know.......no, I don't know, if I did, you wouldn't be telling me this
like................dude, are you comparing a billion things?
uh,um..................................
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:03 am
Berzerker_prime some bad fanfic written by someone who doesn't know better "I'm coming!" he ejaculated. See what I mean? "Said" has the benefit of being innocuous. You can use it as a place-holder and it doesn't give strange meanings to anything around it. Readers skim over it almost like it isn't there, yet it still gives the meaning it needs to give. Berz.
That's rather funny. rofl
Yeah, I know what you mean though. I try to refrain from using "said" TOO much though. I try to substitute occasionally with things like: he/she mused, retorted, remarked, commented, thought aloud, chuckled, laughed, giggled, yawned.... you know? Using "said" all the while makes things look...well almost half-hearted. I do use it, but if there's quite a bit of dialogue on one page I'll try to use it only a few times if that depending on what's being said.
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