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 Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:04 am
My dad and I fight alot. Usually making me cry my heart out, not eat and have really detailed and gorey suicidal thoughts. I'm gay, and I'm not exactly good at hiding it. I wear make up sometimes, I dress in JApanese street fashion and I'm not exactly your traditional Chinese 14 year old. I haven't come out yet, and I'm not planning to this soon.
Sometiems after we fight, I usually get really angry, and have very detailed "movies" appear in my mind, where I'm dying in some way, and blood is everywhere, and I see my parents twisted faces of sadness, and it makes me happy for some reason. I'm scared I'm suicidal, and I might actually commit suicide someday. If anyone could help me out, it would be deeply appreciated.
I feel like moving to my school and live with my classmates like room mates, but I don't know how to tell my mom...
If you can give me any advice, or help, thank you.^^
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Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:19 am
Do you live in the states? If so it would be alright if you say went to live with other relatives or close friends but i wouldnt do the friends one if they dont know your gay, it might hurt the relationship.
Your mom would understand if you wanted to get away from your father, she has to love you enough to know that you two arguing is hurting you emotionally even if she doesnt admit it.
Plus you should find a place that is understanding of your sexuality, such as a program or UU church, someone you dont know or someone you can be yourself around is a good helpful thing in your life when your depressed.
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