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I'd like some feedback on this story. I have alot more, but I wanna make sure it has some good value, whether its in detail or whatever. Please point out anything you think was good/bad.

The armor-clad soldier stood ready at his post. The firelight flowing from a nearby torch danced on his emerald suit and his young face. His brown eyes were large and his hair long, a look of concentration etched upon his face. He stood next to a large door, which was close to an even larger window at the end of the hallway. This door was the entrance to the king’s chamber, one of the most important posts one could be assigned to.

He looked to his left and observed the guard on the opposite side of the door. The man was older than he was, and it was blatantly obvious. His grey, untidy hair fell before his blue eyes. The amount of scars on his face matched, or even outnumbered the number of wrinkles. Though he was old, he did not look at all feeble. The enormous sword on his waits did not seem to affect him, and he was a larger looking man than some of the other men in the castle.

After meticulously observing his partner he asked, “How long have you been at this post?”

The old man turned his head and looked at his younger counter-part. The man’s eyes were fixed on his own, unmoving and his brow furrowed in thought. It was as if he were trying to look into his soul. After several seconds, he replied in a deep, raspy voice, at least 25 years. This is your first day, if I’m not mistaken.”

The boy nodded and responded, “Yes sir,” in a respectful tone.

“Don’t call me that,” he said hastily, “Call me Racht.”

“And you can call me Arius.” They exchanged respectful looks and proceeded to wait. Arius was uneasy; for he was sure some sort of attacker would be here. He just had a feeling… After an hour or so, Racht sat down and said, “Do you mind if you keep watch alone for a while? These old bones can’t hold up this armor for too long. It’s a real pain that I have to cope with.”

“Why don’t you just retire?” Arius asked.

“Than what, face the wrath of my family? I’d rather knock down a tree with my skull. Ever since my Great Grandfather was a soldier, every male in my family has done the same until they were struck down, no matter how old they were. So retiring would break that chain and I’d force the wrath of my family of guards on myself. So, to avoid that, I plan to make the day of my retirement the same as the day of my funeral. So, If you’d be so kind, I’d like to rest.”

Arius disapproved of this a fair amount, but did not say anything in order to avoid a quarrel. So he, regretfully, stayed silent. Be stood there quietly thinking of his life, which was a wonderful one. Being in the army offered his wife and son protection. It also brought in a better than average income. He lived in a small, but beautiful village on the outskirts of the kingdom. He couldn’t ask for much more than he already had.

Several hours passed, and Arius had started to get uncomfortable. The armor started to weigh much more than it had hours ago, and the long hours seemed to last days. He also felt uncomfortable with Racht still resting. He had not said a word or even stirred it quite some time. Arius was afraid he may have died in his sleep. The sun had just started to melt below the horizon when Racht, finally showing signs of life, said in a grave voice, “Now the job truly starts.”

Small update. Please R&R. More to come very soon.


“What do you mean?” Arius asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

“I’ll teach you more in time, but for now, all’s you need to know is this,” He looked Arius in a serious manner, his eyes piercing through Arius’s mind and causing unease, and said softly, “there is more to the night than you could ever hope, ever dream….to imagine. The veil of darkness that follows the moon hides many secrets… terrible and fascinating secrets.”

“That’s a little vague, don’t you think?” Arius said, irritated.

“The things that creep within’ the shadow’s are too terrible for me to speak of unless we are to encounter one, but you will know of one of these many creatures when the moon rises.” Racht looked to his left and faced the large window. The moon was barely visible behind the hills. He stared at the window for a while, watching the moon rise, slowly….
The moonlight had just started to fill the room when Racht said, “The first creature you will learn about is a
Serk. They are beings that have tremendously helpful abilities in battle. They can be extremely fast, strong, have skin that is near impossible to cut. Any ability you can possibly imagine, all accessible only when the moon is out.

“The way you can identify such a creature is their eyes. Since they look exactly like humans, for they are, in most ways, it is impossible to tell a human from a serk, in daylight, at least. But when the moonlight touches our skin and fills them with power…”

The moonlight was now everywhere, and Racht turned to face Arius. His eyes were glowing astoundingly bright, as if beacons were perched within his pupils. Arius cringed when he first saw the bright light. Racht smirked and said, “Their eyes shine ever so brightly.”

“You’re a serk, Racht?” Arius asked.

“Can you not tell by my eyes? Well, yes, I am a serk. That is why I am here. Most of the time, they will post a serk by this door. To make sure the king is at his safest.”

“Than why was I put here?”

“I said most of the time. Listen closer boy. The reason there aren’t always two serks here is because there may be a soldier more fitting for the job. The abilities usually emerge around 25, so the reason may be you are better than all other serks in the castle. But don’t take that as a big thong. Most serks are mediocre at best when the sun is up. Unless they train themselves otherwise, rookie could fight better. Also, it takes a long time to master the abilities one receives. Many have been killed trying to tame their power. It is unfortunate, but things such as that happen in our world.

“Alls I have left to say on serks, for now, is if you ever encounter one, no matter how scrawny, weak, or pathetic he or she may look, never underestimate one when the moon shows. One could overpower a regular human with ease, whether they have good control over their powers or not. So to prevent your death, try and find a way to block off the moonlight. We are only truly powerful if the sunlight touches our bodies. If not, than we are in no better condition than if we were fighting in broad daylight.”