|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 7:57 pm
Intro:
This is my raevan concept.As you can see, there's not much to look at...
yet.Feel free to critique it.
News:
2.10.07- I've scrapped my first Fel essence idea.Although one good thing did come out: Snake Fangs are a good idea.So depending how I write it, I most likely will post it.
1.10.07- I've started up the thread.
Contents..
I. Intro
II. Raevan
III.Family
IV. Fel Essence
V. Remes
VI. Reason
VII. Quest
VIII. Credits
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 7:58 pm
Raevan:
Name: Remes (Sajé named him without Xenori’s permission.)
Guardian: Xenori (Zendrin)
Gender: Male
Fel Essence: Family Heirloom
Soul: Remes
Personality: A calm and collective individual who has great interest with women. He is very defensive when it comes to Xenori or nature. You can basically call him a “flower child”.
How he will treat other Raevans:
He will treat all female raevans with respect no matter what.Although, the way he'll treat a guy depends on what they'll treat him.For instance, if he's being bullied he'll fight back.He might do a couple of pranks...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:02 pm
Family:Name: Xenori
Gender: Female
D.O.B.: 5/5/89
Species: ??? – Demon
Description: Albino with golden eyes, feathered demon wings (which are supposedly big enough to carry an adult gaian), two silver horns and a black and white striped demon tail. She wears specially designed clothes so that when she becomes human there are no holes in her wings and tail go. Note: I would describe on what they look like but to her side effects they could change very easily.
Job: Hunter and stockbroker (She had another job but she lost it)
Family: For what she knows she has none, her parents died by an allergic reaction from eating human flesh and her grandfather died about a year after she met with Sajé. However, she did hear rumors from other demons that her older brother is still alive. She is also the last of her kin.
Fears: being exorcised, beaten up by another demon, signing contracts with people and being surrounded by pink things.
Currently living: Somewhere in Gaia. She used to live in the spirit domain (its got a lot of other names but that’s what she calls it) however, because of the fact that she made out [[as in kissing]] with the fox prince the day before he was 18, the advisors kidnapped her and sent her to Gaia on account that she broke an ancient tradition passed down for centuries.
Specialties: Normally because nearly everyone on Gaia is human, she uses a human form but when she finds her mark she transforms into her demon form to get it. Of course she doesn’t kill it, instead she sends to labs everywhere so that they can find a reasonable antivirus to reverse the threat. She can also sense other demons and magic abilities. She also knows a spell that makes hair grow (but she hasn’t mastered controlling the length yet).
Weakness: Her transformation powers have side effects when there is something or someone that has holy powers and that it’s close to her. One of these side effects is that when she turns human she’ll lose all of her clothes making “certain individuals” happy [[it’s the same effect when Naruto does his “Ninja Centerfold” so don’t take it wrong and I’m sorry I didn’t explain this at first. If you still don’t like this, then maybe you should start a petition to get Naruto off the air and get rid of Cloud on Gaia. ]]. She also likes touching people’s tails for some reason but she’s been going to counseling for this and now she doesn’t touch people’s tails (unless it’s the fox prince’s tail).
How she came to Lab [305]: She found papers stating that they were “top secret” and they had Lab [305]’s address on it. Not only that they were magically sealed. However, she also thinks that they could be a practical joke just to go near Dr. Kyou because she could sense his demonic abilities and was afraid that Kyou signed a contract.
Story: Living in a small house just doesn’t feel right… she thought in her mind but then again, I am used to living in something bigger…She got out of bed pulled the sheets off because they were filthy from last night where she tripped into a mud puddle after delivering a Purple OMG monster to a lab yesterday. So she looked around her tiny little room which only consists of a bed, toilet, refrigerator and some cooking appliances. All of which were worn out to the brim of destruction. She wore a look on her as if she had been a victim of a hurricane. “I so need an upgrade…” she moaned to herself and then pulled out her almighty laptop for that’s her source for making money. She crossed her fingers in hopes of selling her shares for big money. “Let’s find out where the money is today.” She said to herself but to be honest she was out of luck for she bought extremely bad junk bonds, which had now just gone bankrupt because of G-Corp.
“Oh crap…” she said. So she checked her email and found even more interesting news. “W-wh-WHAT! I’M LAYED OFF! HOW CAN THEY SAY THAT?!?” she yelled after all, it was rather frightening for her because she was the best employee there. So she did her regular duties and promised herself that she’ll find a job tomorrow…
The next day, at 7:30am in Barton town she walks onto the market place and heads toward to the newspaper stand to look for some interesting stories. After a couple of minutes she sighed and said “Aw man, this sooooo boring…” So then she looked at the hunter ads and grabbed one and then left. After that, she started reading the details about the OMG monster event that she picked from the hunter ads. However, she wasn’t looking upon where she going and ended up tripping over a piece of paper. What was that? she thought in her mind but when she looked around not only there was the paper that she tripped on, there where several others and they coming out of a large envelope on the ground. So seeking the opportunity, she quickly compiled all the papers up and put them back into the envelope. Then she had a weird feeling about it and read what was on the envelope. ‘Top Secret Lab [305]’ was written on it and so was the address. Luckily, the papers where magically sealed so that only lab personnel can read it. So she looked at it and said “Uh-oh I better return this to that lab…” and thus within hours later she gets to the Lab and prepares to knock on the door…
[[She basically ends up not knocking on the door and putting the papers into a mail slot instead.]]
Types in black.
Name: Sajé
Gender: Male
D.O.B.: 9/11/88
Species: Fox – Demon (Maybe half?)
Basic description: Green eyes, red hair, back vest, black worn shirt, black cargo pants….
Traits: Has fox ears and a tail but normally his kin don’t look human however, he does. He also has fox paws for feet.
Job: He doesn’t have one because he’s the fox prince.
Goals: To propose to Xenori and marry her. He’ll do anything for it like giving her a raevan as a gift.
Family: Both of his parents are dead. So he only has his big half sister Lily to look up to.
Likes: Women, beer, his body and royal lineage. Plus anyone who can manipulate fire.
Dislikes: Any man who would come near Xenori.(He dislikes some other things but he won’t tell you.)
History: After finding out where his love of his life was, he planed to go to Gaia and save her but it was so hard for him to escape because his father recently died and now he has to take up his throne. However, opportunity struck when one of his research teams made a discovery on the case where a thief stole some the lab’s artifacts back when Freyr and Shira were still alive. Not only that the thief is still at large and there was a rumor that this ‘person’ is selling them to Gaia, Xenori has one of the artifacts because they are her family’s oldest treasures and it was the only thing that she had of her kin. Of course with knowledge of this his advisors decided to take matters in their own hands and ask Sajé to find and kill this thief because they didn’t want Gaians to know about the power of these artifacts. Of course he said yes to it beings that he could see Xenori again and ask her to marry him. However, will he kill this person and risk losing Xenori forever or will he not kill the person and risk his royal lineage? Or could this be trap set by traitors?
Pictures: [x] [x]
Types in dark red.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:04 pm
Fel Essence:Name: Family Heirloom
Effects: Poisonous snake fangs that can heal. Green jewels that taste like Kiwis.
Image Description: Has two snake fangs on each side. A big green jewel in the center and two small jewels at the end of the string.(Yes it’s a necklace.)
Fang reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coral_snake
Concept description:
Even though it the string of this item has no importance, the items on the string do. In fact, this particular item is used for medicinal uses like healing burns. However, the look of this item may deceive you. For it has fangs of a Coral Snake that ooze out venom but never runs out of supply of it. Green jewels that taste like Kiwi? No that can’t be true! Right? Although only high ranking males in Xenori’s family may only have this. Yet Xenori is a girl. So why does she have it? And how did her family obtain it?First one can't be done because it interferes with Xenori's abilities.Although, somebody else could probably get away with it beings that Shira could have made necklaces.(Although I was in "lala land" when I was making the description.*sings kiwi song*) Second Option:I'm working on it but I've got a question that needs to be answered before I write it.I'm not sure what to pick yet.Depends on my brain and kiwis.GAH!Why am I writing about Kiwis for?!? gonk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:11 pm
Soul:
Remes is the Raevan's soul.Like other souls a being must die in order to obtain it.So I know some people are thinking: er, murder is not allowed and their right.Too bad this is sacrifice to save another.In another words, he dies in the line of duty.
Background Information:
Name: Remes
Pronounced: Rims
Gender: Male
D.O.B.: Who knows? He looks about sixteen though…
Species: Fox – Demon half breed
Basic description: A normal Albino adorned with a silk outfit with platinum amour.
Traits: Has fox ears, tail and paws for feet. He also has a tribal heart tattoo on his back.
Job: Royal Guard (Had it ever since Sajé was a baby.)
Goals: To find a way to reincarnate himself.
Family: None because Xenori’s brother had murdered them all.
Likes: Women, secrets, rocks, swords, axes, staffs, poles, Xenori, Xenori’s necklace, nature, field missions, his job and scientists of any kind.
Dislikes: Xenori’s brother, stupidity, his heritage, traitors, pain, death and alcoholic beverages.
History: Finding out Xenori’s secret, he sent her away to Gaia because if Sajé found out it would deeply crush him. Then within three weeks later, he found out about her brother’s location on Gaia and his secret plot to destroy the Fox Kingdom but then one of his spies found out that Remes figured it out. So know there are death threats being placed on him and now he’s getting worried about dying but he doesn’t want to quit his job.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:45 pm
Reason:
Family Heirloom:
Well first of all necklaces are easily made without using machinery.Secondly I made necklaces when I was little.Third of all, there are several ancient communities that make necklaces.Plus you make string out hair or cotton.So necklaces can easily be created during that time frame.
It won't work for me but it might work for somebody else.
Kiwis:
I just like eating them!Although, now I'm want them so bad I can't thinking of eating them! gonk
Remes:
The reason why I chose Remes is because there is a war going on and there are people sacrificing their own lives to save others.Not only is happening in Iraq, its happening everywhere.I made him a guard because it would be easy to explain the reason why he wants to be reincarnated.After all, nobody really wants to die right?
Zendrin:
Only Remes and Xenori's brother know who Zendrin is.Of course I might be mistaken.Maybe you have figured it out already.Anyways, it needs to be rped with so that I can develop Zendrin's storyline better.
Rp:
Feel free to pm me if you want to rp with me.I have alot of free time on my hands so it'll be no problem.(Unless my connection goes out.)
Note: Xenori and Sajé have not met in Gaia yet but Remes has met up with Xenori already.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:57 pm
Quest:
I quest differently from other people.First off, I need to make sure that all the raevan owners know Remes first.Then I'll begin earning the gold.I'm not going for the full amount of gold all at once.Instead I'm going to break it off in sections so I don't think of this as a chore because if I do... It won't get done!
Sections:
100k
200k
300k
400k
500k
As you can see, that's not all of it.If I put all of it down I'll get scared of doing this quest.
Donators:
Please be aware that you don't have donate but if you do, I put you on this list.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:03 pm
Credits:
Characters and images (c) me
Raevans (c) Kyou
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:17 pm
Okay, setup is finished and ready to be viewed for critiquing!I'll add some pictures to this later to jazz it up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:32 pm
...Okay, um... your fel essence. D: I'm not sure if it will work - for one, tying it to your guardian character just seems like a bad idea. XD;
And then it's a man-made object... and why is there a jewel that tastes like kiwi in there? It sounds like you're trying to make it sound more unique, and it's coming off like a bad joke. Unless you're desperate for your Raevan to taste like kiwi, I don't see why that should even be there. D:
Anyway, man-made fel essences are generally not a good idea unless you have a REALLY REALLY good explanation for how said man-made object got corrupted by a storm that happened long before humans even existed. Beyond that, a snake fang that's coated in fresh venom even though the rest of the snake isn't there seems like a pretty neat idea.
This could be just because you have yet to put more info in your thread, but you seem to be a great deal more interested in your OCs and their relationship to Kyou and Lab 305 than you are in your Raevan, especially since your soul is a guy who appears to have deep ties to your guardian OC, who just happens to conveniently have a fel essence lying around at her house. D:/ Not saying that there is ANYTHING wrong with someone getting a soul in that way, but I see a ton of arrows pointing at Xenori for some reason. XD'
At least rethink the origins of your fel essence, since that's what seems the most off right now. As it is here, it looks like it could just be an item that your OC's family just magically enchanted instead of it being somehow tied to the corruption of the world.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 10:00 pm
I'm scrapping the necklace idea because the necklace doesn't fit in correctly with the plot that I have it in.So yeah, you're right on the whole "tying the fel essence to the guardian thing would be bad".I'm reworking a new as we speak but it's gonna take a long time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
