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 Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 9:24 pm
HEAVY METAL:
The knight arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and ******** the princess
GRIND METAL:
The knight arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...
POWER METAL:
The knight arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest
THRASH METAL:
The knight arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ******** her....... easy and quick
FOLK METAL:
The knight arrives with some friends playing accordions,
violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) knight leaves without the princess
VIKING METAL:
The knight arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves
DEATH METAL:
The knight arrives, kills the dragon, ******** the princess, beats the princess, talks some s**t, kills her, then leaves
BLACK METAL:
The knight arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess
GORE METAL:
The knight arrives, kills the dragon and revels in his guts in the front of the castle, ******** the princess and kills her....then he ******** her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, ******** the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and ******** it for the last time
DOOM METAL:
The knight arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he can't kill him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well
PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The knight arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26
minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the knight arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" knight
GLAM METAL:
The knight arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color
INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The knight arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
GOTH METAL:
The knight checks his hair and makeup and makes sure it's all black and sassy, then arrives to confront the dragon, complains about his mascara, pretends he's a vampire, cries like a b***h, does a little pit-fu to attempt to intimidate the dragon, rolls his pants legs up and runs like a girl. The princess awaits any of the other metal types.
SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
CHRISTIAN METAL
The knight rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to 'thank' the knight, he replies, 'sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage'.
BATTLE METAL
The knight arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.
NU METAL
The knight arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
GRUNGE
The knight doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.
HARDCORE
The knight arrives in south bronx in his beat to s**t oldsmobile with 20 of his crew. knight gets out and with his crew, beats the dragon to death with bar stools and leaves.
POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the knight because he can't catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't ******** him either, because he looks like a girl.
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 9:38 pm
That was entertaining and accurate.
Give me moar.
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Vulgar Delectation Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 1:06 am
I haven't laughed so hard at something on Gaia in ages.
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 1:04 pm
Thorgol is ******** pleased!
-insert bloodmilling here-
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Thorgol the skull crusher
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 1:40 pm
rofl rofl rofl Brilliant!
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:10 pm
INNACVRATE.
I AM CORRECTING.
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Celestial Deconstruction Crew
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Celestial Deconstruction Crew
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:24 pm
HEAVY METAL:
The knight arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and ******** the princess
GRIND METAL:
The knight arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about a minute/30 seconds and then leaves...
POWER METAL:
The knight arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest
THRASH METAL:
The knight arrives, fights the dragon, plays a sloppy pentatonic solo, saves the princess and ******** her....... easy and quick
FOLK METAL:
The knight arrives with some friends playing accordions,
violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing), rescues the princess and does as the POWER METAL knight did.
VIKING METAL:
The knight arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves
DEATH METAL:
The knight arrives, kills the dragon, ******** the princess, beats the princess, talks some s**t, kills her, then leaves
BLACK METAL:
The knight arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle, covers the castle in frost and ice, renames it Blashyrkh, and could care less about the princess because of extreme nihilism.
GORE METAL:
The knight arrives, kills the dragon and revels in his guts in the front of the castle, ******** the princess and kills her....then he ******** her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, ******** the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and ******** it for the last time
DOOM METAL:
The knight arrives, gets everyone stoned, nod their heads to some doom metal, and the knight ******** the princess. Slowly and awkwardly because they're extremely stoned, though.
PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The knight arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26
minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the knight arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" knight
GLAM METAL:
The knight arrives, attempts to kill the dragon while singing horribly but gets destroyed by the onset of the 90s.
INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The knight arrives wearing greasy overcoat and gas mask, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
GOTH METAL:
The knight checks his hair and makeup and makes sure it's all black and sassy, then arrives to confront the dragon, complains about his mascara, pretends he's a vampire, cries like a b***h, does a little pit-fu to attempt to intimidate the dragon, rolls his pants legs up and runs like a girl. The princess awaits any of the other metal types.
SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
CHRISTIAN METAL
The knight rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to 'thank' the knight, he replies, 'sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage'. BLACK METAL knight then kills him ritualisticly.
BATTLE METAL
The knight arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.
NU METAL
The knight arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
GRUNGE
The knight doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.
HARDCORE
The knight arrives in south bronx in his beat to s**t oldsmobile with 20 of his crew. knight gets out and with his crew, beats the dragon to death with bar stools and leaves.
POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the knight because he can't catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't ******** him either, because he looks like a girl.
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Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:19 am
xD Baha... Funniest s**t I've read in a long time.
That Power Metal thing would make a good kids story...
Uh... Without the... enchanted forest bit...
Oooh, how sweet.
Feel sorry for the grunger, though...
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:51 am
lmao thats awesome! Did you make it up?
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:29 pm
guitar_yoshi lmao thats awesome! Did you make it up? Of course not, lol.
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:12 am
10 points for viking metal!
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 2:20 pm
LOL XDXD f-ing hilarious!
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Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:00 pm
lol ya good one..it shows the differences in metal. Non metalheads wouldnt get it...
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 3:51 pm
this is one of those things that are always funny...haha
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:43 pm
my favorite's speed metal. Thats ******** classic dude.
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