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 Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:01 pm
▪Desperate for your Love▪
Your hand brushes mine,
As the dancers wheel around us,
But, it was only a mistake,
Only a fleeting instant…
And I wonder if you know
I ask you for a dance, one dance,
And as we spin around the floor,
The steps flee my mind,
And I loose myself in you…
And I wonder if you know
And as we dance the old dances,
Your eyes meet mine,
Locking our gazes together,
Connecting us for one fragile moment…
And I wonder if you know
The moon sails full in the sky,
Shabbat is upon us, and when morning comes,
I will speak my heart to you,
If I can find the courage in my soul…
And I wonder if you know
If you know how I need you,
How I am lost without you,
How my heart dances for you,
And how you dance in my dreams
And I pray to Yeshua that you know,
And that you feel the same
Or else –
I perish.
For I am desperate for your love
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:18 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:49 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:43 pm
-A Single Word-
A single word can slash the soul
A single word can cut so deep
And rip apart what once was whole
Till only tears bring only restless sleep
A single word can poison friends
A single word can stain the pure
As friendships come to a bitter end
And innocence succumbs to evil's bitter lure
Or a single word can mend a heart
Or dry a hundred tears
A single word can reconcile
Or wipe away the blood of many years
And so I ask you, tell me this
Do you seek to cause grief or bliss?
What truly lies within your heart?
What single word will you impart?
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:55 pm
▪◙ Twilight Crossing ◙▪
I stand at Twilight Crossing
Twixt a thousand flickering lights
As a thousand whispering voices
Try to tell me wrong and right
The paths before are long and hard
Though I will walk but one
And thought I know not where they lead
My journey starts before the night is done
The choice of a lifetime before me
And all my past behind
I must consider long and hard
Before I can decide
The blood is singing in my veins
My hair whips round my face
The winds of change are stirring
And I soon must leave this place
So I'll choose the path's unknown
And fate may bring what she may
There is no return from here
And at this crossroads I cannot stay
As my foot steps out upon the path
I know my choice is right
The Twilight fades behind me
As I walk the Path of Light
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:56 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 2:18 pm
Sick of my old emo poetry? Good, That makes two of us. This one is brand new, and happy. Well, happier. ◙▪ Hy Heart and Soul, Zion ▪◙
My heart grieves for Zion, for Zion is my heart
She forgets the laws you gave to set her apart
And while the idle laws of man she never fails to keep
Her disrespect for your Mitzvot drives my heart to weep
My soul bleeds with Zion, for Zion is my soul
The glory of your temple mount, which Islam's temple stole
The lands of Abraham are filled with war, death, and pain
Come, ADONAI, to Zion! Restore her once again!
My heart will pray with Zion, for Zion is enslaved
She does not see Yeshua, who has risen from the grave
Zion expects Messiah, though he is already come
He waits patiently for Zion, till into his arms she runs
Then, my soul will dance for Zion, and Zion will be new!
As fresh as any flower, or crystal drop of dew
Then all will flock to Zion, as all of Zion sings
Yeshua Ha'Moshiach! ADONAI, out King!
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 8:49 pm
I actually liked your poetry... I might not have got'n the jewish parts. But I loved how you stroung the words togather. And your "emo" poetry. Vell i can relate to that so i deffintly liked that.
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Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 8:55 pm
Thanks. I do tend to put Jewish words no one else knows in my poetry. If anyone needs to know what one means, just ask. A note for my next one - Sheol = Hell, literally 'the Grave.'
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Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 9:08 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:22 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:37 pm
That last poem, Lackluster, regrets frrom the other side, well, I have this awesome friend who put it to music for me, so now it's a song... She rocks. So, while I can't post a sound clip or the cords without her permission, I'd like you to know that there is another part to this.
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 6:51 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 11:39 am
Your poems are so cool 4laugh ! I love the feel they have! Well you make create poems biggrin .
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Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:10 pm
The mark of the immature man
is that he wants to die nobly for a cause....
Ok... well first things first... i'd like to apologize if some of my criticisms are harsh.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings, I just wish people would criticize mine.
seriously all i ever get is patronization (wow turns out that's actually a word... and i spelled it right XD) and i'm kinda sick of it.
without criticism we cannot grow...
Ok so i read them all and here's my run down of your poems....
1. "Desperate for you love": Digging the style and composure of it... overall it's a nice poem.
2.The poem for Someone: I can relate, it's sad but sweet i like that one too.
3.Blood rain,Sky Tear: Considering your age when you wrote it, it's pretty good. I really like how you personified the rain drops... i thought that was original.
4.The nature of death: To be honest i didn't like this one as much but only because the whole "death" think is rather cliche' but over all it's still pretty decent for a 12 year old.
5.Soul-snatcher: Nice. I like the line about the obsidian ocean, and the final line is nice to. really all three of those poems were very good for a 12 year old, you should be proud.
6.A single word:Though i thought some of the lines could have been done better the last 2 stanzas hit hard i really like this poem, another good one.
7.Twilight crossing: This one's not too bad, i like the first and second from last stanzas the most. but you recycle the same words too often. other wise it's a great poem.
8. Loved it. It was short and ended well... nice...
9. OH MY GOD....wow.......... i ...... i'm speechless... that was f*cking beautiful... I loved it. Have you ever considered being a lyricist? i don't normally hug people but i just checked your profile and your male so my wife won't get jealous ... *hugs* you sir are my hero....
10:Silver Wingling: I seriously love the way you use hebrew words... While I am a practicing Christian my church is kinda different we're more jewish than the average church so i understand most of the words and i really enjoy it.... and again i'm digging the way you put this one together i love the style of it...
11.Lack-Luster: Digging the subtitle. The last 2 lines hit hard i like that... I have a poem you should read called mask... it's about my breaking through my shell a couple years ago... pm me if you don't feel like digging through my archives i'll send it to you... oh yea and if you can get her permission send me the song Pm me for my email address... I'm a musician too and I'm trying to put my poems to music but it's a b***h...
12.When Vampyrs love Angels: Wow... it's not as good as some of them but still i like it... especially your choice of colors... i honestly appriciate your vocabulary...
Ok well that's it... lol I really enjoyed it overall man... your a good poet you should be proud...
....while the mark of the mature man is
that he wants to live humbly for one.
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