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 Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 8:01 am
OK. Well my gf and I have been dating for 5 months almost, I know that's not long so you don't need to tell me that, she's almost 17, and I turned 16 not too long ago (we're still in the same grade and everything, we go to the same school, and we're both really mature for our ages, so I don't really want to hear about our ages either). Well, we've kissed lots, and like in the first month I got to second base (up the shirt) with her, but then summer rolled around and we never really got to see each other a lot, or if we did it was at the movies or something with her parents, which I didn't mind, but everyone wants a little privacy, right?
Anyway, we went out on a date last week and she said she had thought about sex with me, eventually (as in not for a couple months probably), but over the summer her grandmother was telling her about when she was younger, and she told her how she had held her breath every month as she waited for her period, and this scared my gf. Well she told me this and said she wasn't sure she would any more cause she'd hate going through that. I could understand that, I was a little dissapointed, but it's her choice of course.
Well, last night she invited me over to her house for a block party, but her dad was in the hospital, so her mom ran out to spend some time with him (It was like 4ish), and then we had to watch her little sister and hang out at the party. The party was fun, I met some of her neighbors, but anyway. Eventually her sister went to go play at her friends house. Around 7ish we go and get her, she runs home and goes upstairs. We hang out downstairs, kissing a little, then go upstairs to watch a movie. She had to keep her door a open a little just because her mom would freak out if she came home and we were in my gf's bed with the door closed. But anyway, her sister is watching a movie and we're pretty much alone in her room so she changed into her PJs. We start watching the movies, kissing a bit more until finally our tensions broke and we started kissing non-stop, eventually slipping up her shirt and kissing up and down her chest and her breasts and all that good stuff with a little dry humping thrown in. We stop cause we realize we'd forgotten the door was open. We have a good rest of the night just talking until I had to go home, about 10.
But, yeah. Sorry you had to read all that (I had to be able to recount it to SOMEONE), but I mean... I am happy kissing and holding her and I don't want to pressure her for sex, cause I don't want to be that kind of guy, but I don't really know how to get all this out. But I am afraid like some guy part of me is just going to turn into a sex seeking maniac and either scare her away or make something bad happen. Does anyone have any clue what I'm trying to say? I just need a little help I guess.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:04 am
So it sounds like she wants to have sex but is afraid of getting pregnant? Why don't you guys just use birth control then? That's what it's for after all. Even when you use birth control, there is still some chance that pregnancy will occur. However, if you use a reliable form of birth control as intended, the chances are extremely small, small enough that she certainly should not have to hold her breath and wonder every month. Anyone who does that seriously just needs to use their birth control better or get a backup method.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:10 am
Well of course we'd use a condom, and she'd try to get on the pill, but she just really worries.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 2:27 pm
She needs to get her facts straight.
Take her to a Planned Parenthood.
There they will educate you both on proper contraception use but will also calm her fears. She may also be able to receive discounted Birth Control too.
I know that planned parenthood these days is obsessed with the Nuva Ring -
which is a silicone ring inserted into the v****a and which secretes hormones which are absorbed into the mucus membranes of the v****a.
As long as she is not taking any sort of medications that might interfere, with the BC such as antibiotics she'll have 99.9% protection.
I know I'll probably get yelled at for this by someone, but if she is on BC and uses it correctly - there is no need for condoms.
BUT if you must use condoms, try Durex.
Oh, and the 'pulling out' method is pure crap.
Precum is secreted from the p***s well before ejaculation and it contains sperm. - just thought I'd add that in
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:30 pm
Trite~Elegy She needs to get her facts straight.
Take her to a Planned Parenthood.
There they will educate you both on proper contraception use but will also calm her fears. She may also be able to receive discounted Birth Control too.
I know that planned parenthood these days is obsessed with the Nuva Ring -
which is a silicone ring inserted into the v****a and which secretes hormones which are absorbed into the mucus membranes of the v****a.
As long as she is not taking any sort of medications that might interfere, with the BC such as antibiotics she'll have 99.9% protection.
I know I'll probably get yelled at for this by someone, but if she is on BC and uses it correctly - there is no need for condoms.
BUT if you must use condoms, try Durex.
Oh, and the 'pulling out' method is pure crap.
Precum is secreted from the p***s well before ejaculation and it contains sperm. - just thought I'd add that in Haha, thanks. I knew most of that except the Nuva Ring thing. But yeah, that might be a good way to work that, I dunno if we have anything like that going on here, I'll check it out though
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:08 am
xxantuxx Well of course we'd use a condom, and she'd try to get on the pill, but she just really worries. Why would she worry if you used a condom and she was on the pill? It sounds like either she is very uneducated about birth control or just isn't ready for sex in general if she would worry that much when she is very well protected. With proper use of a reliable method or two, you can get your chances of pregnancy down to about .01%. To be perfectly honest, I think it would be crazy to worry about something with odds that small. If you told me that my chances of getting cancer were .01%, I have to be honest and say I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. xp As Trite said, you can have her go to Planned Parenthood of Family Planning for paps, birth control, and sex education.
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:11 pm
Well everyone has their irrational fears. Even with protections don't you worry about your computer getting a virus, or your house being broken into? What's so diffrent about being a little worried about your period and pregnancy? No one wants to screw up their life. But I agree, I'm just saying, I kinda get the feeling that's what it is..
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 6:10 pm
xxantuxx Well everyone has their irrational fears. Even with protections don't you worry about your computer getting a virus, or your house being broken into? What's so diffrent about being a little worried about your period and pregnancy? No one wants to screw up their life. But I agree, I'm just saying, I kinda get the feeling that's what it is..
I'm scared of being in the dark in strange places.
Why?
Because I do not know what's out there that I can not see.
BUT I am perfectly able to walk the streets of Detroit without fear of being mugged/raped/killed.
When you know what you actually need to fear - like that .1%, then it becomes a lot less scary.
The fact is that she just needs all of the facts.
She also needs to know that pregnancy is not the end to a life - especially hers.
Should she do become pregnant for whatever reason, there is choices she can make.
Like having an abortion. Putting it up for adoption. etc.
I would tell you to go take a gander in the Pro choice guild as I am an avid member,
but I have to warn you first that this guild and it's members are deathly afraid of what might happen to women should abortion
or the choice making ritghs of women who find themselves pregnant - gone.
So that means you might find some hysterical rant posting that is odd to your point of view.
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