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 Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 6:47 pm
Let's make a big list of things the Simpsons have taught us that are useful in everyday life. Try not to steal other people's ideas.
I'll start.
-Darrenger bullets are weak. Powerful weak.
-Dolphins once lived on the land and will one day reclaim what is rightfully theirs.
-There is no such thing as Scotchtober Fest.
-If you make a disruption at the movies, ushers will beat you with giant kit kat sticks.
-You won't have so many nose bleeds if you keep your finger outta there.
-In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the money, then you get the women.
-If it's just a little dirty, just a little slimy, or just a little airborn, it's still good, it's still good.
-They have the internet on computers now.
-In Brazil, hot snow falls up.
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Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 8:22 pm
Napium causes nightime cuckooness
Idaho allows child marraige
The world is a toystore
pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese
Paul McCarthy is trying to brainwash our minds into becomming vegans
Buddah hates christmas
keep your arms inside the bus
crazy people make brilliant strategists
Every sons dream is a fat suggestable zombie dad
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:08 am
If something's hard to do, then It's not worth doing.
Eat My Shorts
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 1:01 pm
Your hair can be excessively pointy, tall, or form letters
Never eat a week-old sandwich that you sleep with every night
Owning an elephant can be cool, but a burden
manatees have feelings too
It's more fun to dance around a sombrero with your cellphone's ringtone
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:19 am
Eyelash implants aren't illegal in Paraguay
Killer whales can survive in the back room of a bar
You can choose the audio and visual images you have as you die (well, duh)
Jello shooters are "classy"
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Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:45 pm
If something is sticky on the floor(like gum) theres a 24 hour rule so u can pick it up and eat it.
Slurping soup is not allowed in Pennsylvania after 6pm. (rumor)
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly, devils fall because of gravity.
To tell someone that they are attractive (only by their avatar) online is really unattractive.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
The ball of chewed food in your mouth (before you swallow) is called a bolus. Introduce this fact to the dinner table in polite company.
When Albert Einstein died, his final words died with him. The nurse at his side didn't understand German.
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Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:18 pm
The Navy brainwashes us with pop bands.
You can be arrested for kicking the same can five times.
Three-eyed fish can be found near nuclear power plants.
If you start rooming with a couple of gay guys, Weird Al Yankovic will show up near the end of the episode and write a song about you.
America's little brother Canada still doesn't have a girlfriend.
Stephen Colbert is an excellent life coach.
There apparently is such a thing as spray-on five-o-clock shadow.
Don't ask the mob to build a handicap access ramp for your school.
Don't drink the milk.
Every so often, you will inevitably run into a celebrity.
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:04 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 8:06 am
Purple is ,apparently, a type of fruit.
Cats don't kill mice, mice kill cats.
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:56 pm
I've learned pistol whip is not what I think it is.(Homer: MMmm pistol whip)
ALWAYS borrow from your neighbor..even if you have to steal to get what you want..
Babies can be used as a secret weapon in any given situation
When Futurama gets canceled find the nearest window
Lastly...
When there is a red button that says"Don't touch" touch it to see what happens..and have no regrets whee
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:03 pm
Oh yeah....Animal House is the best movie ever made!!
WEAR A TOGA AND MISS WORK THE NEXT DAY!!!!!
"ANIM AL HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE!!! NOONE EVER WENT TO CLASS.."
eek
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 3:22 am
Don't wear pink T-shirts to work
Sunday is great because it's the longest possible time before more church
If you travel back in time, don't step on anything
Don't put donuts into a nuclear reactor.
You have to pay taxes every year.
Trillion dollar bills are usually not on ceilings.
The true meaning of Christmas is the birth of Santa
Leaves of three, let it be; leaves of four, eat some more.
...........................................................................
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