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 Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 6:25 am
She had woken that morning, cuddled against Dharba, warm and safe. And now that the sun was sparkling down she did seem a little happier. Yet when she thought of what she had done. How she had used poor Dhar to get what she wanted.
She felt sick inside.
What if their act had...had produced cubs!? She wasn't sure she was ready for that responsibility! Hell she didn't think she'd ever be ready. What if Fedha discovered her affair? What if he didn't want her now?
Yes, it seemed that even though she had attempted to forget and move on, one night with Dharba had not been enough. Her heart was still attached to Fedha and she secretly wished that if she was carrying cubs, she was carrying Fedha's. She sniffled and stretched out under the sun.
Besides, what would her mother think? No...Palesa didn't have to find out. Besides she'd gone and mated with a rogue herself not too long ago. She was no different. But there was a difference. Palesa hadn't been hung up over some other lion.
Deep down, she just wished that she could find a way to convince him that she wasn't such a fool.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:08 pm
Fedha moved slowly through the land that was close to the ocean. He was feeling something heavy in his heart, guilt perhaps. He'd never really felt guilty for actions before... except when it came to Ausi, of course. He'd certainly never expected to find that he'd lied a few days; he did have feelings for Ivie! Hold your seats, ladies and gentlemen. These feelings were purely friendly... he'd known Ivie a long time. Not as long as Ausi of course, and certainly never as intamate, but that is probably what seperated Ausi from being a lover and Ivie being a friend. He figured there would be no possible way to apologize, Ivie had run off like he'd demanded of her.
He wasn't very good at apologizing but his sleep had been complete crap lately and he was having funny dreams that dipped between visions and simple nothings. He knew he was keeping Ausi and the kids up, sometimes anyways... perhaps if he apologized it would stop?
His tail flicked as he thought this slowly over and he let out a long sigh. "But how to find Ivie?" He breathed into the land.
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 12:04 am
She wanted to find a place to stay, a place where she could hide. But there was a problem. Until she had got her head sorted out of what exactly she wanted to do, she wanted to be close to mother. Close enough so that if the confusion returned she could go to her and talk to her.
She had told Dharba that she wanted to go far away but she wasn't ready for that yet. Because she was still very much a baby and she very much needed her mother.
So she was plodding slowly back home, glancing up occasionally at the sea. She just prayed she wouldn't bump into anyone, especially Fedha or Ausi. She liked Ausi, she truly did. That lioness had a beautiful heart. It was just a shame that she was also Fedha's mate. Her ears drooped but she shook the sadness away. No, first thing first, she had to find someplace to stay.
She found that place a few moments later. An old abandoned den possibly left by a wild dog or two. It smelt funny and definately not like lion, but it was tucked on the outskirts away from everyone else. However, her larger form could not fit inside easily, even for a petite lioness like her, and she had to use her strength to dig out the sides of the entrance.
Dirt sprayed high into the air as she began to dig, puffing and panting from the effort. If she had been trying to stay out of sight she wasn't doing a very good job of it.
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 4:07 am
It didn't take long for fedha to come upon the 'dirt-shower' that was flying through the air. His eyes landed on the tailside of Ivie's body and suddenly he froze. Right, what incredible luck... but now he had to get himself to apologize. He did have a very hard time doing that...
"Ivie." He said, loud and clear and slightly soft because he didn't want to scare her off (what with their last meeting and all).
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:55 am
Digging, digging, digging. She paused, panting and then continued, working her paws like clockwork to get the job done. When the passage was widened she'd have herself a nice little den to stay in.
She thought of Dharba and wondered if he'd be mad that she'd run off and left him. Somehow, deep inside, she couldn't take all the blame. There was a little voice in her head that said he was also responsible for what they had done. He had known that she was on a rebound and probably known that she was using him.
But he had called her beautiful and her heart had swam with delight. No one had ever called her beautiful. Maybe she could learn to lvoe another after all.
She began to dig again, with a new life and that was when she heard the voice. Her whole body ceased up and her eyes widened in fright. Fedha! It was Fedha!
She backed out of her den and glanced warily up at the grey lion. Mud clung to her whiskers and muzzle and caked uncomfortably between her toes.
But Fedha was beautiful.
Her chest shivered with all the pent up grief and rage. What was he doing here?! She wanted to kill him! But she couldn't...she could never do that. She felt a tingling sensation at the back of her eyes and new the waterworks would soon be there.
"Fedha..." Unusually she couldn't get his full name out. She had always managed it before, always wanting to please him. She noticed, for the first time, that this meeting was the second time he hadn't used her full name either. Had he changed? She supposed everyone changed in time. She sure had...
She'd turned into a coniving little...No, there wasn't time to think about that now.
"Why are you here?" She tried her best to look like she was in control.
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:47 pm
Fedha may have been there to apologize but never would he be meek or submissive, that would never change about him. His eyes floated over the den she was making and curiously over her mud covered coat. So she was planning on staying close to he and his family... He sighed lightly but pushed the fact away.
"I don't think it should matter why I present myself to you, should it?" He said slowly and cooly, not liking the fact that Ivie had seemed to grow more bold over the very short time of their last meeting. He blinked and coughed and sighed again, trying to force out his apology. "Never you mind, anyways. I'm here because... I wanted to.." He trailed off. Why did he have so much trouble with such simple words? Perhaps because these words only came to mind when he was feeling guilty. Other lies were much easier to spit.
He moved forward, toward her. "I want... I was wrong about.. what I said those days ago." He finally managed. He instantly realized he needed to clarify though. "About not being your friend ever."
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:03 am
"Not matter?" She pinned her ears. "Then go a--" But she halted her words as he continued to speak. She thought it best to let him speak first. She could yell at him afterwards.
She could hear her heart pounding as he spoke, blood roaring through her ears as she realised what he was trying to stay. She wanted to run at him, to throw herself at him and hug him close. She wanted to thank him for being so kind, thank him for showing her that he was kindly after all.
She purred, very, very quietly and in her eyes there was joy now. Fedha wasn't as cold as he liked to make out. She had always known that a good heart lurked inside of him. He was trying to apologise! A tear trickled down her cheek and she moved forwards again. Yes she hated him, but that feeling never seemed to last long in his presence.
"You mean it?" She whispered, hardly wishing to interrupt in case the apology fell apart and he snapped at her. "Do you really mean it?" There was a swirl of guilt deep in her gut at what she had done in her anger and sadness. But that didn't matter. Fedha didn't need to know about that. He'd never find out and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"I'm sorry, too, Fedha." She wasn't apologising for loving him, because that was something she couldn't help. He was tattooed on her heart. She was apologising for making him angry. "I shouldn't have come to you and said those things." She stepped forwards, looking up at him with her clear green eyes. "We can still...be friends?" Friendship with Fedha would be a start she supposed.
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 4:05 am
Fedha watched her and fell silent. He'd almost lashed out at her when she started to interrupt him, though luckily he had not. So Ivie had changed... and she had not changed. She was still so easily... forgiving. Fedha hated to see that in her.. but also was quite glad for it. His tail flicked and his body tensed as she started to come toward him, but eased when it seemed she was not hurling herself at him.
He still felt guilty, even with ...partly... apologizing. He watched the wetness form on her cheeks and turned his head slightly, blushing from embarrassment. Why he should cause Ivie any trouble (such as being in her life in any way possible) was beyond him... actually he thought it would be nice to her if he'd murdered her right here and now and she would never be tormented by him, never again! Never plagued by his presence or any of that... of course thoughts like these always made him feel madly in love with himself... which he also knew was wrong but could not help it.
"Yes... I mean it." He said slowly and simply, wondering why she was sorry at all. "You... couldn't help what you were saying.." He said slowly. He wanted to make up excuses for her, to tell her she was not well... but that would be a lie and a very bitter thing for a friend to do. Well, he wasn't actually very sure what friends did.
"Ivie.." His voice was strained and his eyes were on the den. "Do you... do you really want to live this close?" he said slowly, suddenly moving toward her in a rare show of compassion. Wouldn't she be miserable living so close to his mate? He could not actually get out these words though.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:04 am
She stood with that gentle smile on her face and as he stepped closer it widened a little. She had always been drawn to Fedha and his wish for power. There had been something thrilling about it. It was his strength mostly, his strength and determination. It was strange to think that he didn't want power anymore...though maybe that had been a lie too. Maybe the old Fedha was still there after all.
"Even so...it was..." She trailed off. She had done the only thing she had thought possible. Confronted him. It hadn't gone down well and she had learned her lesson that it only brought out anger in him, but she was sure if given the chance she would do it again.
"So close?" Then she realised what he meant and she dipped her head. "I..." What would he say if she said she was scared of being too far from her mother? He'd call her a child but somehow Ivie expected that Fedha had always known she was a child, even now that she was fully grown.
"Mother lives here. I travelled from the Pridelands to find her and I don't want to leave her. But don't worry. I won't go into the Pride. I'll stay on the outskirts." But she had another reason. Dharba knew where she lived and she wanted him to find her before going into the lands. She wanted to keep the gentle brother secret for now.
She stepped towards him again and hesitated. There was a crackle in the air, something calm yet wild. She wanted to hug him or nuzzle him or do something to thank him. But she was afraid, afraid that one of those visions would be revealed to her. She stretched out to him but faltered, wondering if it would be the right thing to do.
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:53 am
He listened with out saying anything, watching her as she hesitated to come near him. His eyes flickered to his feet for a second and then back to the lioness's eyes. Slowly and awkwardly he offered her a crooked smile. To be honest it was the same smile he often gave to his cubs.
"I will come visit you sometimes. And.." He was the one to hesitate this time. "And you could come visit me as well. Ausi and I." He said slowly, to make it clear these visits would probably include his mate, maybe even his children.
Had he done right, apologizing to the love stricken girl? Would this make his life more hectic? He moved forward and gave her a quick and friendly bump on the head, knowing quite well she yearned for his touch. Maybe if he was friendly she would calm down (as in not bother him so much).
But in that instant his whole body went rigid and his mind exploded with some sort of pain. His eyes shut and he sucked in a deep, quick breath. A vision? He hadn't had one in so long...
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:41 am
Oh he was handsome. That smile on his face! Her heart gave a flutter. Yes, this feeling might die down someday, and she did care for Dharba greatly. But Ivie was one of those girls who went for the 'bad boys.' A teen who was so hoplessly infatuated that she couldn't see what was good for her.
"I would...like that very much." Why was she feeling suddenly coy and embarrased? She tipped her ears towards him and purred, very quietly. Though her smile faded at the mention of Ausi's name. "I would...like that too. I do like Ausi very much." If only they hadn't gone after the same male.
And she was about to ask him not to tell Ausi about what had happened when he reached forward and buffetted his head against hers.
But like Fedha, the moment they touched, the vision hit. Like him, she hadn't had one since her first meeting with Dharba, the one where she'd had her vision of cubs. Every muscle in her body tensed and suddenly her eyes no longer saw Fedha.
She saw something else.
She saw herself and she was fat. Huuuuge! She was lying in her den full of pain and fear. Something squirmed in her stomach. Was she sick? No...no not sick. She rocked back and forth and suddenly she was no longer alone. Fedha was there.
Fedha was with her.
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:26 pm
He couldn't breath. He was dying. Oh god! Images flickered through his mind.. cubs.. pregnant.. moons... Pain... why was he feeling pain? His stomach.. he was going to throw up! Ivie? Cubs... Ivie.. he was there.. beside her...
Suddenly his eyes flared open and he sucked in all the air that he could in a big gasping breath. What was that? He wasn't... used... to...
His vision was dimming, black was surrounding everything...
and then he was out. Like a light.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:20 pm
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