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Beloved Conversationalist
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 Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:21 am
Here's the short of the long:
I had this friend back in highschool. He was like a kid brother to me. We did tons of stuff together, he could be quiet around people, only talked to me and his close friends really.
Well, as years passed, one day he confesses he thought he liked me. Mentioned it again sometime later, then sometime later finally mentions being in love with me.
At the time, I was getting over an EX, plus just didn't want to risk our friendship with the romance. Not to mention like I'd said, kid brother.
I had put him down gently, I'm now married though to someone totally different.
I could not have seen myself getting with someone seriously that didn't love God as well. I can understand that people change, but he's one of those that hates change.
But yesterday, started to thinking about my friend. Started to miss the old jokes, playfulness, hanging out. Things have never been the same since the love scenario.
And I start to wonder, why he's pulled away from me so hard? He never tried to get in touch, we've met up at a few gatherings, he refused to come to the wedding and has become more seclusive than ever.
So my question, if you're a guy and concider yourself sort of the seclusive, stick-to-yourself kind of guy, and sensative, would you totally avoid a girl if she'd turned you down?
I mean doesn't it make sense that he'd completly avoid me because of this?
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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 3:15 pm
I have in the past. It's just that we feel rejected and not good enough to be around the other person.
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Beloved Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 8:59 am
That's what I've felt it was.
I never dreamed or ever wanted him to feel this way, but I don't think I could have said anything else, I've tried to talk to him, but for the first time ever, he'd clam up against me, or so it felt.
I guess it was a defense mechanism. I just wish it didn't have to change the relationship the way it did but people change and grow apart I guess....
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:24 pm
Crinis
I could not have seen myself getting with someone seriously that didn't love God as well.
This was one of the things that stuck out to me... And one of the reasons I conflict with world religion in general... What does it matter if he does/does not believe in an invisible, all-seeing, all-powerful being or not, so long as he is a good person? If I had those kinds of feelings for you, and you married someone else, and invited me... I would not have shown up either, or even gotten together with you afterward. What would the point be? To admire something from a distance? To watch as someone you really cared for swore themselves to someone else,and trying to pass it off as a 'No offense, but...' issue? I don't blame him at all, he's just moving on with his life... Just as you had seemed to with him.
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:49 pm
Nathiuz Crinis
I could not have seen myself getting with someone seriously that didn't love God as well.
This was one of the things that stuck out to me... And one of the reasons I conflict with world religion in general... What does it matter if he does/does not believe in an invisible, all-seeing, all-powerful being or not, so long as he is a good person? If I had those kinds of feelings for you, and you married someone else, and invited me... I would not have shown up either, or even gotten together with you afterward. What would the point be? To admire something from a distance? To watch as someone you really cared for swore themselves to someone else,and trying to pass it off as a 'No offense, but...' issue? I don't blame him at all, he's just moving on with his life... Just as you had seemed to with him. For someone who doesn't believe in God, it probably feels that way to you, but to those of us who do believe in God it's a question of morality and values when it comes to starting a family. A house divided against itself falls. Though it CAN work, it takes two people who are not very deeply rooted in what they believe in order to make it work, or a submissive and a dominant person. I couldn't be with a girl who didn't value God, we'd fight too much and in the end we'd be scarred. The belief in my religion is that if two people get married, they become one... if one is always at odds with oneself, then one is not one but two. You probably don't agree with this viewpoint, but at least I'm putting it up for you to try and understand it. smile
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