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 Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:10 pm
I'm thinking maybe I can talk about it now...
as you may have seen in the intro thread I'm 27. I've had four pregnancies, one was a miscarriage, two live births, one is current (I'm about 8 weeks along).
My first was a boy, he's 5 now. He lives with my mother.
My second was a girl, she's about 1 1/2 and I had to put her up for adoption due to circumstances, which have not changed for this current pregnancy, so I'm going to go through the adoption process again this time.
It's really tearing me up this time, and I've gone into a pretty severe rollercoaster of emotions...Yesterday all I wanted to do was sleep...Sleep and not wake up.
Today we got some books in the mail for my son...something more to add to the rather large package I have for him already, what with the movies I bought at Hollywood Video when I worked there. It reminded me, though, that I'm living for him right now, my sole purpose in life is to get back on my feet to get him back in my life.
I haven't seen him in over a year, and until I get to a point where I'm working a steady job, in my own house, have a working car, etc, etc, I don't think I want to cause him the pain of seeing Mommy.
I don't know how I'm going to explain the adoptions to him, or what I'll tell them when they come to find me when they're older, but I do know it's the right thing to do.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:57 pm
I can't sympathise with you at all u_u I'm only eighteen and never had to put one of my children into adoption, hell I don't even have children. If I were you, I'd just tell him the truth when he asks, plain and simple, it's the best way. I hope your pregnancy goes well though 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 3:14 pm
Zan_Demona I'm thinking maybe I can talk about it now... as you may have seen in the intro thread I'm 27. I've had four pregnancies, one was a miscarriage, two live births, one is current (I'm about 8 weeks along). My first was a boy, he's 5 now. He lives with my mother. My second was a girl, she's about 1 1/2 and I had to put her up for adoption due to circumstances, which have not changed for this current pregnancy, so I'm going to go through the adoption process again this time. It's really tearing me up this time, and I've gone into a pretty severe rollercoaster of emotions...Yesterday all I wanted to do was sleep...Sleep and not wake up. Today we got some books in the mail for my son...something more to add to the rather large package I have for him already, what with the movies I bought at Hollywood Video when I worked there. It reminded me, though, that I'm living for him right now, my sole purpose in life is to get back on my feet to get him back in my life. I haven't seen him in over a year, and until I get to a point where I'm working a steady job, in my own house, have a working car, etc, etc, I don't think I want to cause him the pain of seeing Mommy. I don't know how I'm going to explain the adoptions to him, or what I'll tell them when they come to find me when they're older, but I do know it's the right thing to do. You know, when I read that, alot of things passed through my mind. I won't ask the obvious questions like "where is the father?" (or are the fathers as the case may be) and I won't ask the details you didn't mention that lead you to give up the girl (and your current pregnancy) for adoption. To be honest, I do have one burning question but it isn't one for this time. I can tell you are hurting and depressed. So here's what I have decided I want to say. First of all, don't wait too long to see your son. He's still very young and if you are not at least visiting him (unless there is some sort of court action preventing you from seeing him) it is going to make the transition from your mother's house to yours once the time comes extremely difficult. I learned in college that what most small children thrive on is a routine. If his routine is suddenly broken up, he will be upset and confused and may lash out. Plus you run the risk of him not remembering you as "mom." Secondly, in my area we have a program to provide people with low-cost or no-cost psychiatric counseling based on their income level. While I don't know where you live, I am sure if you look into it you will be able to find a similer program in your area. Ask the people you are doing the adoption process with, they may be able to help you. And finally, as always, if you need to talk (As i've said two other times lol sweatdrop ) I'm here to listen and offer advice if wanted/needed. I hope your pregnancy goes well and I hope to continue to see you on here ^_^
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:09 am
He already doesn't remember me, and, well, if I were to try to keep this baby, or had tried to keep the girl, I wouldn't have a place to live, and that's what caused me to give up my daughter in the first place. I'm only renting a room right now.
All three kids have the same daddy, as did the miscarriage. We've been married 6 years. All three kids are going to be born in the same time of the year, my son's b-day is 2-21-00, my daughter's is 2-25-04, and I'm due on 3-16-06. sweatdrop That time of year is very difficult for me.
And the agency will help me get counseling, as well as help with the food/shelter/medical costs.
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Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2005 9:26 pm
Update in case anyone was wondering:
I talked with the worker from the adoption agency today...she's coming by tomorrow to pick up the paperwork & talk with me.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 11:26 pm
Just thought I'd post a little update since it's been forever since I've posted here.....I know it's a boy I"m having, and I'm in counseling now. smile
And I've picked adoptive parents, and we talk about 3 times a week on teh phone, and I've already met them once, they were at the doctor with me when I got the ultrasound telling us that it's a boy. smile
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Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:12 am
Thats good news! n_n How far along are you now?
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 5:13 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 3:51 pm
Nifty n_n Half way there!
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 12:33 am
and the doctor has already agred to do the C-section..
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:12 pm
Is that good? sweatdrop I don't understand labour and such much :S...
Btw, yay! You're using my blinkie! heart
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 11:56 pm
3nodding it's in my rondom sig. smile
well the last baby was a C-section, and it's generally not good to try to deliver after having had one... wink
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 3:51 pm
had a doctor's appointment today...went fine. His suggestion for my hip pain was a maternity belt. sad
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:58 pm
Ahh, I see. Thats a good point :S I take it maternity belts are a bit...naff?
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:31 pm
not sure what naff means, but I know I wont' wear a maternity belt, and besides, if I"m getting my tubes tied after this one, why put the money into getting something that is only for pregnancy?
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