Kill All Your Friends, Til The End((re-written))Ch. 4 [R]

[Zakuro159]

((Lol it is magic!!))

Chapter 1…

“Stop!” Huff….huff…“Wait!! Don’t leave me alone!!!” Huff. “I’m…afraid!!!” “Wait…why…? Why am I yelling…?” “Stop walking away!!” Step…step… ”Where am I going? Who…? Who is running?” Huff…jog… “Please don’t leave me in the darkness…please…” ”Please…?”
I fluttered my eyes open. I was only greeted by shadows stretched across my ceiling. Only silence was heard. I started feeling something in my chest. A fast pace, a heavy pace thudding every second. I calmed down only to realize it was my own heart racing with my mind. “A nightmare…” I sat up and looking out my window. A crescent moon smiled through the foggy glass. It was only 2:19 A.M. right now.
I sighed and got up. I walked out of my room that was on the second floor. I crossed the hall to my bathroom. I walked into my plain bathroom. The walls were pale lavender and covered in vine patterns. The shelves were a nice wood that was black. They held my perfumes and candles. Nice and simple; the way I like my environment.
Except for my Aunts…the last time I saw their bathroom, I swear I saw a small Cupid statue urinating in their one of a kind and priceless bathtub. They have everything only a mad man would want. Tooth of a vampire bat, fur of a wolf, eye of newt and everything from folk tales. They would go and get whatever they thought would look nice in the house. To me though, it looks like a pawn shop.
My small family came from Salem. Yes, Salem, the witch town. I don’t remember much about it. It seems very odd to me. I moved when I was 13 so I should remember tons about it since I am only 15. It’s like it erased itself or I somehow suppressed them. My Aunts didn’t think about it either so I decided I should just forget them but lately…something has been calling out to me. I always seem to be running somewhere and screaming out to someone or something that isn’t there. I always feel isolated and desperate for something as I run. I’m always searching for that thing but I only see black.
I just see myself running. I see me as a small child with pig tails and a little sundress. My hair was short back then instead of being very long. My big brown eyes always have tears running down and a big frown on my lips. My cheeks are flushed from all the running and desperation. Only tonight did I notice something different. I saw someone or something in a shadow walking away and it was the first time I screamed at them. I shouted for them to look back at me. I’m not sure who it was but it seemed to be a small…child? Yes…a small child…I could only see their back but it had to be a child.
I suppressed those thoughts by splashing cold water on my face from my sink, washing all the sweat that had formed while I was asleep. I started thinking about something else. Something about later today, somewhere I should go but where? I looked at the mirror before me.
The circles under my eyes have gotten darker and my long brown hair was greasy. My face was flushed a bit and white at the same time. Not my natural pink. I seemed to shake every once in awhile as I focused on my haunting face. If I didn’t have so many freckles, I would look like a ghost.
I grabbed a wash clothe and dried my face. I set it down on the counter and walked out. I need to go to school today…that’s where I need to go. No I can’t go…I mustn’t go…he would be there. That boy; the one I run from whenever I have the chance. He wouldn’t leave me alone, not even for one second! He always asks me questions that don’t even have a reason to be said! Yet…I wanted his attention…he is always asking how I am doing or if I am alright. I wanted him to be with me every second and I wanted him to be on the other side of the universe at the same time.
I lay down in my bed and stared at the ceiling. I breathe softly while my ache for rest swept over me, taking me under. I glanced at the clock before and it read 2:34 A.M.
This time I saw myself standing in the darkness. My long hair draped around my body as I looked straight forward, hunched as if I was about to attack something. Something in the distance was walking towards me. I could see clearly but this time it was a teenage boy. A deep growl rippled through my chest which set me off guard but I continued to growl. Then a light sound came from the person. I couldn’t hear it because they were mumbling. “Who are you?” I growled but I didn’t mean to growl that part. Soon, as if someone turned on the lights, that boy stood from my school. He had messy brown hair, hazel eyes, stood at 5’7 and was a bit round.
I looked down at my feet and realized what I was wearing for the first time. I had a black leather tank top with small belts going across my belly and a deep red skirt with leather belts holding up the sides. I had combat boots with belts on them to match my outfit. Always belts, as if I am trying to hold myself together. I had tons of outfits with zippers also but nothing else. On my wrists were wristbands and small belts. I felt around my neck for my collar which was there.
“Why….?” I asked quietly. I looked up and saw the boy walking towards me still. He was wearing a plain camouflage jacket, an Iron Maiden T-Shirt, and black jeans. I sighed as a walked forward to meet him. After a few steps I saw something dark move behind and him creep towards him. “H-hey! Behind you!” I yelled as I quickened my pace. He didn’t turn around; only just kept walking for me. I broke out into a run “Idiot look behind you!” When I yelled the dark shadow rose behind the boy and started to engulf everything around him. “No!” I ran faster; a race between me and the darkness; who would get him first? Everything slowed down then. It felt like I was running in quick sand and so did the shadow. I pushed myself and so did the darkness. Was it mimicking me? Finally I reached for him and grabbed his arm. “Gerard you need to get out of here!” Then the darkness took us both…  

[Zakuro159]

Chapter 2…

I sat up quickly; throwing my hair forward and back again. My hand was extending out in front of me as if I was still holding onto him. “Huh…?” I looked around my room and noticed the sun had risen; bringing life into my room. I opened my hand and closed it as I brought it back to my side. I brushed back my long bangs with the other hand. I closed my eyes and focused on slowly my heart beat.
I pushed back my covers and moved out of bed. I closed the curtains of my room and walked over to my dresser. “I need to go to school today…I can’t live like this…keep having that damn dream…” I grabbed the same outfit I was wearing in my dream and made my way to my bathroom. I cleaned my long dark hair and washed my face with soap this time. I put on cover up to hide my dark circles; I had to hide everything so he wouldn’t ask me a question. I tried to braid my hair but it didn’t have the energy so I left it down.
I picked up my stuff in the bathroom and threw it on my bed. I glanced at the clock; 6:58 A.M. so I only had 1 ½ hour to get to school.
I walked down the steps of my Victorian design house. Yet again my Aunts wanted something outrageous! If they wanted this house to be admired by the whole state of New Jersey then why the hell build it on the outskirts?! It’s just a pain in the a** for my to get to school since we live so far away from Belleville, New Jersey.
My Aunts had to be the strangest people on earth. Aunt Jeannette loved the color Orange and always had cats on her clothing. Aunt Mary loved Purple and bats; like Aunt Jeannette she had them all over her clothes. I was afraid to know what their under garments looked like.
I loved the color Red and wolves but I didn’t go out of my way to get every article of clothing embroidered with wolves. The reason why is because I am a wolf, never seen with anyone. It’s Gerard who keeps me from being the lone wolf because he follows me like a dog. Sometimes I just want to kick him and tell him to leave me alone but I want him to keep me company; I want someone there with me. Is that to much to ask for?
I made my way to the kitchen where the Aunts where making breakfast.
“Well, well, well look who cleaned up? Going somewhere?” Aunt Jeannette said with a playful smirk, “Did you notice Mary?”
Aunt Mary looked behind her from the stove. “Oh my! Look who is shinning so brightly this morning!” Aunt Mary cupped her hands and kept staring at me and made small chat with Aunt Jeannette; forgetting the stove which was still on. Aunt Mary sniffed the air. “Oh do you smell that? Such a smell…” She said gleefully.
I stared at the pan which was now on fire. “Fire…” I said in a monotone voice and wide staring eyes.
Aunt Mary uncapped her hands and said, “Well no I was going to say freshness since you haven’t left your room or the house for a week-
“NO! FIRE!!” I shouted as I ran to turn off the stove.
“OH! I left the stove on!” Aunt Mary shouted.
Aunt Jeannette threw a clothe on the fire. “This should stop the fire…” Which it didn’t but helped the fire grow.
“No you made it worse!!!” I yelled as I turned the water on and threw the pan in the sink. It made a sneering sound and a cloud of dark smoke rose from the sink.
After that I left the house at 7:26 with the sent of smoke trailing behind me. Gerard is going to notice this and ask tons of questions…
I got into town from various buses until I got to school with everything I needed in my bag. I went to my locker to grab everything I left without last week. I mentally blocked out the noise around me as I pretended to look for something while I started to think about the dreams I had last night.
Where was I running as a child? Who was that in the shadows? A part of me wanted to go back to sleep and try to dream that same dream again and move forward and reach that kid. Another part of me was afraid of who it might be…it might as well be him but I don’t know what Gerard looked as a child. Maybe I should ask? I’m not sure and I just don’t want to know.
Suddenly a hand slammed next to my open locker making me jump. I whirled around to see a boy staring at me with sharp hazel eyes and messy hair covering his left eyes. “Morning…again…been standing here for awhile now.” he said in a bitter voice. “Are you that tired to just stand there staring at your locker? The bell rang a few minutes ago…or are you planning on leaving school again like you did for a whole week?” Gerard said quietly but kept his eyes on mine.  

[Zakuro159]

Chapter 3…

I glared at him as he glared at me. I felt around for my locker door before closing it.
“Why the hell do you care?” I growled. I just blinked and softened his eyes.
“Maybe because I worry about you…” He said in a calm voice that made me calm. He kept eye contact with me before looking down at the ground. I looked around for anyone but the hall was empting.
“We need to get to class…” I said quietly as I started walking away. Just as I thought Gerard was at my feet.
”Maybe because I worry about you…” Those words pained me. Was he wondering where I was all this time? I guess I was being rude by not trying to contact him…than again he should mind his own business! Why do I have to tell him every detail in my life?! God he is nosey! Wait…I shouldn’t get mad at him. He has the right to worry because…I guess I’m his only friend here. Is he my friend? Are we friends? Maybe I should ask…?
I started looking around and glanced over my shoulder at Gerard; making sure to pretend not to notice him. He looked like he was hurt. His face looked sad and his eyes showed pain. He wasn’t paying attention at all or noticing I was staring at him. I guess he felt hurt that I didn’t notice him at first. Maybe he was trying to tell me something important when I wasn’t aware of anything around me?
We finally made it to our first class that we had together; Theatre. When we walked in the second bell rang. I walked over to the darkest part of the room with Gerard following me. I sat at the table farthest from the class and Gerard sat next to me but sat in the opposite angle of me; like he was trying to give me the cold shoulder in this tiny table.
“Good morning everyone!” Ms. Bell yelled across the room. “Today…”
I blocked her out of my head and just focused on Gerard. He hadn’t looked up from the table at all. He was messing with the edge of his jacket sleeve.
“H-hey Gerard…” I whispered. How smooth, I need to learn not to stutter.
“Hey.” He said emotionless while he focused on his jacket sleeve.
“How are you?” I tried to start a conversation with him but he seemed to upset.
“Fine.” He said dropping his jacket sleeve from his hand and crossing his arms across his chest.
”Such a pain in the a-“
“Miss Rogers?!” Ms. Bell yelled across the room.
“Yes!” I shouted.
“We are taking attendance; I called your name four times. Please pay attention.” She said before returning to role call.
“I hate her so much right now…” I glared at Ms. Bell then returned my gaze to Gerard. He was messing with his back pack now. What the hell did I do wrong?! Why am I suffering the silent treatment from him? Why the hell should it matter to me?
“Hey!” I shouted in a whisper to him. “Talk to me jack a**!”
Gerard this time looked up with a glare that shut me up. He never looked that irritated. I never have seen his hazel eyes look that fierce.
“What?” He said in a sharp tone.
“Uh…” That was all I could get out. “You’re…ignoring me…I…I…”
“You ignored me this morning so why do I need to pay attention to you?” He said in an angry whisper.
“I-I’m sorry.” I said stuttering as a messed around with one of my belts on my skirt. I was looking down now. ”Jeez…I messed up...”
There was only silence right now. It was making me uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry, too.” I heard Gerard say in a softer voice. “I just wanted to know if you were alright since you smell like smoke.”
”I knew it!!!”
“I just can’t help but worry about you. You already look like you could collapse any second, you know?” Gerard said with a shrug.
“Oh…my Aunts just had an accident earlier this morning. My Aunt Mary wasn’t watching the stove and it irrupted into flames. I didn’t get enough sleep last night also. I’ve been having some nightmares lately so that’s why I wasn’t paying attention earlier. I’m sorry…again…” I said in a quiet voice.
“What was your nightmare?” He asked in a curious voice. He shifted in his seat so he was facing me now. I looked up to meet his gaze.
“I…I don’t remember…much…” I lied, “just me in a dark room running for...for something.”
“What were you trying to get?” He ask leaning in.
“I-I don’t remember what I was running for or what I was running from.” I said looking down at my desk. ”I knew he would start asking questions!”
“Oh.” He said a moment after. “Alright.”
“What have you been doing?” I asked trying to change the subject. I looked up.
He looked at me and gave me a smile that I had to return.
“Well I’ve been…”
We spent the whole class period talking about the new comics he has been reading and his sketches. I missed so much in the last week. I even missed the new play; The Phantom of the Opera. Oh jeez…the auditions are next week….