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 Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:11 pm
Ok the public explanation of damsels in distress, since i have received a couple pm's about it as well...
this is my personal dedication to my friend. the only reason it is in there is to remind me in particular about one of my best friends who is without a doubt in "distress" and needs a guy in her life to be chivalrous more than anyone else i know. she is always stuck with abusive guys who make her feel like crap and don't care about her at all but due to the fact that no one in her home says they love her, and mr abusive pants does, she cant bring herself to leave him because she feels completely abandonned. the most recent guy, joey, cheated on her at least 3 times that she knows of, once being when he had sex with someone else on her birthday. she saw them doing it and he denied it right to her face and started yelling at her for not trusting him. i dont care if you like the fact that it says damsels in distress but like it or not they are out there and they need a guy who will treat them like a human being more than probably anyone else does. i have it in there to remind me of brittany and that i need to be there for her whenever she needs a hand.
I understand why some people might not agree with this part of the banner but thats why its in there.
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:21 pm
It's true, I've met several DIDs. However, what they need is a change from the inside out. Until they learn to respect themselves, no amount of respect from others will keep them away from the abusive jerks because they will always believe that they don't deserve anything more. The best thing anyone can do is simply to help them discover their worth for themselves.
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AmmonSuperCombo Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:36 pm
exactly. without any guy thinking other than what they are used to how are they supposed to discover their own self worth?
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 7:56 pm
I suppose I have a bit of a Knight in Shining Armor complex. It pains me to no end to see a girl crying, whether I know her or not. The only problem is that if I don't know them well, there's little I can do. People think I'm really cold and unfeeling because I usually act unperturbable. I guess I am, for the most part, but when I cause pain for my friends, it kills me...
Anyway, on topic, I know firsthand that damsels in distress are real and common. So are sensitive guys in distress, but we tend to be rather good at keeping that to ourselves. I think people don't feel at ease comforting guys because they're not used to it.
Man, I cannot stay on topic... xd
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:46 pm
I don't mean to be blunt, but if your friend is having self-esteem problems she's going to have to work them out herself. If she really feels like crap she'll inevitably end up with guys who will treat her as such.
The word "love" is so cliche these days. People throw it around like any other common four letter word.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:31 am
AmmonSuperCombo exactly. without any guy thinking other than what they are used to how are they supposed to discover their own self worth? That's not really what I was trying to say. How she is treated is important for her self esteem and all, but it's only a small part- even if a knight in shining armor "rescues" her from this relationship, the problem will still remain. Her issues are something she has to ultimately deal with herself-all anyone can do is listen and just be there.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:33 am
Torch24601 AmmonSuperCombo exactly. without any guy thinking other than what they are used to how are they supposed to discover their own self worth? That''s not really what I was trying to say. How she is treated is important for her self esteem and all, but it''s only a small part- even if a knight in shining armor "rescues" her from this relationship, the problem will still remain. Her issues are something she has to ultimately deal with herself-all anyone can do is listen and just be there. the thing is she didnt realize her self worth until someone told her he had any. @ nadils: word for word. i agree. maybe i have a knight in shining armor compex as well xd
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:07 pm
ChivalrysRevival Torch24601 AmmonSuperCombo exactly. without any guy thinking other than what they are used to how are they supposed to discover their own self worth? That''s not really what I was trying to say. How she is treated is important for her self esteem and all, but it''s only a small part- even if a knight in shining armor "rescues" her from this relationship, the problem will still remain. Her issues are something she has to ultimately deal with herself-all anyone can do is listen and just be there. the thing is she didnt realize her self worth until someone told her he had any. Well, if she needs someone to tell her she has some self worth, she's not going to believe them unless she sees it in herself.
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 5:59 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:37 am
sorry, for straying off topic, but Johhny Lingo rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok, well i think that it is pretty sad that some girls think they have no self-worth!
If it wasnt for women than us guys wouldnt be here, so i think that is a good enough reason to be nice to them!!!
Ammon, u just have to show her, her won qualities and her won self-worth!! Yes, she will have to deal with herself, but you can help her realize it!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:37 pm
I wish there were more guys like all of you! I've been a DID for a few years, I owe a lot to a certain gentleman who helped me realize my self-worth. Of course, I never would've believed him if I didn't work hard to imporve my self-esteem, but he was a major help and support.
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 9:24 pm
Erm...I really hate saying this because I don't know if it's my own doing or due to the crap I've gone through in my life, but for the past 3 years I've been a "DID" per se...least it sounds like it. What really bugs me is that...my current bf has been trying so hard to get me to trust him, to feel loved, to ultimately save me (from my home and my bad feelings I suppose) and today is our three month anniversary. But I just found out he has a crush on two of my closest friends and for all I know he may have crushes on a few girls I don't know too...that really hurts. I trusted him...he PROMISED me he wouldn't give me any reason to be hurt...especially since I'm still hurting over my ex (he actually encourages me to keep trying to work things out with my ex, how sweet is he?! *sighs*)...and just learnging this...I appreciate knowing there are guys out there who really want to make a girl feel beautiful and loved, willing to work his butt off to help her, it's you guys that DIDs long for and need. God bless you! (or, if you're not one who believes in the Christian God...whatever god or non-god or whatever it is you believe in i guess)
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:05 am
for everyone who has seen the movie, yeah that's what i mean. for those who havent, basically there is an island and one girl in particular named mohana. everyone calls her ugly and her own father, the island drunk, says that the only way she will be married is if she continues to cook well. a rich tradesman named johnny lingo comes to the island and announces that he will choose a bride. after interviewing all the women on the island, he hears that one did not show up. he goes to mohana and after a while chooses her. all the beautiful women dont understand and when it comes time to offer live stock to the brides father as a marriage agreement, the father asks for 2 cows. the crowd begins to laugh and jest that mohana is hardly worth 2 chickens. johnny lingo says he is insulted by the price of 2 cows. he then offers 8 cows for mohana. they leave and come back in a year or so and she is now one of the most beautiful girls anyone on the island has ever seen. her inner beauty is what attracted johnny and when she leaves the negative influence of the island she becomes as beautiful to others on the outside as she is on the inside. *insert symbolism here*
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:37 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:58 am
My best friend is a sortof DID, but it's more herself she needs saving from, than a guy. Her boyfriend is the best medicine for her, but she always makes things more complicated than they are. She insists on telling several boys she loves them, thereby hurting THEM very much when she goes on dating Justin, and leaving her with a guilty conscience, and really, I don't think that she loves any of them. And I think she loves Justin, just not the marriage kind of love she keeps ranting about, and the ring he got her, and blahblahblah. Not only that, but I don't think she should be even THINKING ABOUT TALKING about marriage. *shakes head* It's just somewhat frusterating when I try to help, but she insists on making things more complicated than they shoud be, and when she sortof disregards the other boys' feelings, and when she throws the word "love" around insicerely, like it's just some insignificant word meaning "I like you, you're cute, and I'm going to keep you on the hook until Justin gets angry with me for liking you, and then I'll choose from the other five boys I have tied around my finger."
*sigh* .........
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