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 Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:02 am
 (( She's an adult now, but I'm setting this when she was still an adol. )) Uhayawani spat and snarled as she chased after Kijivu, the cheetah who had just revealed herself to be her's and Dhalili'vitu's real mother. It had turned out that Kijivu had abandoned Uhaya and her brother when they were born, and luckily they had been found by Mweko and Binti. If they hadn't have been found though, they surely would've died.
Not even giving her real mother a chance to explain herself, Uhayawani attacked, causing Kijivu to flee. Of course, Uhayawani chased after her, wanting answers. They had been running for what seemed like ages, with the younger of the two catching up with every stride. Eventually, she was withing pouncing range, and so she tackled her mother to the ground.
Her tail whipped violently from side to side as she fought the urge to strike her own mother. The fact that she had been abandoned wasn't the biggest upset for Uhayawani. It was the thought that her dear brother Vitu could've died, and the fact that her whole life had basically been a lie. Struggling to compose herself, she got off of Kijivu and paced back and forth. It was so unlike her to show such emotions, and she wasn't sure if she could handle it all.(( I thought it would be better if Kiji hadn't revealed her reasons yet, hence why Uhaya attacked her. ^^; She's sure to be more sympathetic after she knows the truth. ))
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Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:18 am
The cheetah fell to the ground, not fighting back. Let fate take its course.
Then her daughter did something that surprised her. She retreated, pacing angrily. Kiji's pale brown eyes were clouded with emotion as she let out a strangled whimper. She opened her mouth, wanting so badly to address her, but then came the bitter realization that she did not even know her daughter's name.
"Please," she said finally, her voice tiny and pleading. "I know how you feel, you must hate me, I know... but please, will you listen to me? I don't hate you, or your brother, and I've regretted what I did since the night you were born. I came to find you because it was tearing me up, not knowing if you two had died or were saved, and how you were, and..."
Her voice broke and she looked down, shutting her eyes tightly.
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Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 8:55 am
Uhayawani's eyes flickered darkly as she continued to pace, whilst listening to what her mother had to say. "You know how I feel?" She scoffed. "How could you? How could you possibly know how I feel? You don't even know my name!"
With a frustrated snarl, she flopped into a sitting position. She had gone through her entire life without showing too much emotion. When she was sad, she would keep it bottled up inside, and when she was happy, she could only ever manage the smallest smile. Now, it was as if all that emotion which she had kept hidden from the world was finding its way out.
She knew though that if she couldn't regain her usual composure, she wouldn't get the answers she sought, and she wouldn't be able to give her brother piece of mind. As Kijivu trailed off, Uhayawani looked over her carefully, before glancing towards the horizon. "Why did you leave us?"
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Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:41 am
Kiji hung her head at her daughter's first words. "You're right," she murmured. "But I can assume, can't I? Anger, hurt, betrayal, confusion, all mixed into one... that can't be too far off the mark, can it?"
The raw emotion her daughter was showing only made her feel that much worse. And when she was asked the question, it made her wonder... how could she ever explain? It was an unforgivable act that led to another unforgivable act. "Oh," she said, her voice soft and riddled with pain. "It's... it's hard to explain, without making things even more difficult and confusing for you. But you deserve to know, you deserve to know everything."
After taking in a deep, shuddering breath, Kiji closed her eyes. "I didn't... choose to get pregnant." How to put it delicately? Her daughter had just learned that she had different parents than she was raised with. That was hard enough, without adding the matter of rape on top of it. "I don't know your father. It just... happened, and then he was gone. When you were born, I couldn't take it."
Kiji sighed. "It was a horrible, stupid, selfish thing to do. I was more concerned about the pain it caused me than the effects on you and your brother. I haven't stopped thinking about you since that night. I... I finally broke down, and had to come find you, make sure you..." she gulped, "survived."
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Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:09 am
Uhayawani remained silent, taking in every single word that her mother spoke, along with every strained sigh and saddened whimper. Kiji's assumptions about how she was feeling were about right, but she didn't feel much like confirming that.
When Kijivu had finished talking, Uhayawani just stared. What did she mean, she 'didn't choose to get pregnant'? How is that possible? When it finally dawned on her though, a sharp stab of pain and guilt went straight through her body. Rape was something that their foster mother Mweko had talked about when warning her and her brother about strangers. It was never something that Uhayawani could truely fathom, despite her rather negative outlook on the world.
A long silence followed, before Uhayawani got to her feet and walked up to Kijivu. The pain she was feeling was written all over her face, and Uhayawani couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "I...I'm sorry, that that happened to you..." She trailed off, unsure where to go from there.
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Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:16 am
The cheetah almost breathed a sigh of relief, but she refrained from doing so. "I appreciate that," she said quietly. "And I understand if you never want to see me again... I'd be happy to leave and never return, if that's what you want. But I've been overcome with guilt ever since it happened, and I just had to make sure you and your brother were okay. I couldn't live like that any more, not knowing."
Kiji looked down at her paws. "My name is Kijivu, and I'm happy to be a part of your life if you want me to, or to leave if you don't. But if I may please, please ask something... what is your name? And your brother's name? And have you both had good lives?"
After a moment, she added, "Because that's all I really want for you two."
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 2:28 am
If there was one thing that all this had made her realise, it was that she owed a lot to Mweko and Binti. Uhayawani almost felt bad, as she had never really gotten on with Binti. Yet, those two had taken them in and treated them no differently than their biological offspring. She certainly owed them both a huge thank you. For now though, she still had a lot to deal with.
"I don't...not want to see you again...not really..." She continued to look over Kijivu. Uhayawani looked a lot like her mother, which felt strange to her, yet somewhat comforting. It had always bothered her how different she looked to Mweko and Binti. Now that Kijivu was in her life, she couldn't shut her out.
Finally, she decided now was the time to take a step forward. "My name is Uhayawani, and my brother's name is Dhalili'vitu." She smiled slightly as she thought of her brother, who she had always been over-protective of. "We've had good lives." She said with a nod. "Vitu has always had a happy disposition about him." Her smile then faded. "I don't know how all this will affect him."
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 2:09 am
Kiji let out a soft breath at Uhaya's first few words, relieved and pleased. She wouldn't have pushed it, of course, but it certainly wouldn't have been easy to hear Uhaya push her away.
"On your time," she said earnestly, offering a small smile. "I don't want to push you, I don't want to rush things. This is all about you and your brother now, what you want... not me."
The cheetah smiled at the names. The meanings, perhaps, were not the greatest, but the sounds were pleasant and it warmed her to know the names of her cubs, now so big. "Uhayawani and Dhalili'vitu, and you've had good lives. You know, that's all I've really wanted. You two haven't left my mind since that night..."
Her next statement made Kiji hesitate. "I... would you do something for me? I'm sure you'd do it anyway, but please, look out for him... I hope this won't hurt him too much..."
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:20 am
Uhayawani was sure that her mother was being genuine when she said that she had been thinking about them ever since she left them. Perhaps it would've made things easier if she didn't care at all, but Uhayawani was glad that she did.
"I fear we'll never have a proper mother-daughter relationship." She said finally, hoping that this comment didn't upset her mother too much. She felt the need to be truthful about how she was currently feeling, and although she felt terrible for what had happened to Kijivu, she was unsure if she could ever forgive the fact that she and her brother were left for dead. "I'll try though, to make it work."
Again she allowed a rare smile to touch her face at the mention of her brother. "I've always been over-protective of him, and I'll continue to do so." Saying that, she frowned. "If he wants nothing to do with you, that's how it will have to be."
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 3:15 pm
"Of course."
It hurt to acknowledge, hurt to say, but at the same time Kiji felt a sort of peace, knowing that now she was doing what her cubs wanted, what was best for them. It was no longer selfish and in a way it made her feel absolved, knowing that she was doing what was right for them, not her.
"I'll do anything you need me to do. Keep you company, leave you alone, whatever." Her voice was much stronger, showing her resolve in the matter. "I came here for closure, to know that I hadn't doomed you two. And that will be my final selfish act, as it should be. I want what's best for you, and for Vitu. If he wants me out of his life, that's how it'll be. I'll respect any wish you two might make... I promise."
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 5:55 am
Uhayawani slowly nodded, wondering where they should go from here. She had so much to think about now, and a lot to tell Dhalili'vitu and her foster parents and siblings. Then there was the whole situation regarding her biological father, which she didn't even want to think about, yet she couldn't get it out of her mind.
"I bet he looks like Vitu doesn't he?" She murmered, his voice laced with anger as she thought about it more and more. It made sense that her father must've looked like Vitu, as she and her mother had no brown on them at all. Also, Kijivu seemed to lack the strange markings that she herself possessed. "I'll kill him mother...if I ever see him, I'll kill him." Her expression was deadly serious as she said that, although she was unsure if she even had it in her to commit such a crime.
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 3:31 pm
It took Kiji a moment to realize who Uhayawani was referring to, but the second it struck, she looked down, giving only the tiniest of nods. "Their color," she said quietly. The cheetah could not remember the exact details of her attacker, having been too scared to really pay attention. She knew that he was brown and had no spots, but her only clue as to his markings was her daughter.
"Uhayawani, I..."
She desperately wanted to comfort the angry adolescent, whispering in her ear that it would be okay, everything would be okay, but how could she, when she felt the very same way? "I know. I would too."
Her voice remained quiet, but she managed to look up at her daughter. "Perhaps you should go find Vitu," she said, hoping to get away from the subject of the mysterious male. "I may not know him, but I bet he could really use his sister right now." Though this was true, she also wanted her daughter to go take some time to herself to think instead of sticking around awkwardly with her mother. Vitu might be upset, but she knew that Uhaya was, too.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:00 am
Although Uhayawani thought that it might be a good idea to go and find her brother, a part of her didn't like that idea at all. How was she ever going to be able to tell him about all this? He had always been such a happy-go-lucky cheetah, and now she had to risk destroying that side of him.
"What about you?" She shook her head solemnly. "We've missed out on so much." Saying that, Uhayawani moved forward and leaned into Kijivu, resting her head lightly over one of her shoulders. As angry as she had been at the beginning of all this, now what she felt the most was regret, as there was no way either of them could turn back time and reclaim the lost years.
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Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:35 pm
"What about me?" she echoed, her voice soft. "I'm always available. I'm traveling with a lion named Shaha but I won't be far from here, ever. And I can leave a clear trail wherever I go, if need be."
She stiffened for the briefest moment out of surprise when Uhayawani put her chin on her shoulder, but immediately relaxed, licking her daughter's shoulder tentatively.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:29 am
(( Sorry for the wait luff. =O heart *Loves on Roho's son* ))
"A lion? Does he look out for you?" Uhayawani had had little to no contact with creatures other than cheetahs, so she didn't know what to think about the idea of her mother travelling with a lion. As long as he looked after her though, it didn't really matter what he was. She managed a small smile. "It's good that you have a friend." Saying that, she briefly thought about Akia, who was really her one and only friend. Still, that was better than nothing.
At her mother's reassurance that she would remain nearby, Uhayawani nodded gently. Now that her real mother was back in her life, she couldn't allow her to disappear, despite the fact that she had abandoned her and Vitu when they were cubs. That was water seemingly already under the bridge now.
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