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Yet another conversation I began with someone recently and having to repeat my long list again forces the topic of vampires once more to my mind. Those of you who have already heard this rant may skip over it (though it is more comprehensive this time) as I am forced to give this little sermon often. Let me tell all of you once and for all that I hate vampires.
Now when I say this, I regard the statement as a lie. The truth is that I hate what YOU know as vampires. I hate the bastardized stories that fell out of the a** of Hollywood that teenage girls have put on a pedestal. Now I'm sure that many of you are curious now, as to why I would hate vampires, and my reasons are many.
First of all, when I think of vampires, among the large list of undesirable things that come to mind are the poor, deluded bastards that actually believe themselves to be vampires. Why let a few crazy people ruin vampires for me? Oh, these are the least of my reasons. I'm just getting started...
Like many things in life, fangirls (aside from mine, of course) can ruin just about anything. Have you really thought it through at all? Sure, its seems sexy (if you like that sort of thing, I suppose), but when the cold, clammy disgusting flesh touches yours, you may rethink it...Unless of course you really ARE a necrophile...At least it's not rotten you say? That brings me to my next point.
When the dead claw their ways from their graves and resurface this is meant to inspire terror. I've really tried to be nice about it, so far, but if the idea inspires lust there is something wrong with you. I think it was said best in Libris Mortis (A Dungeons & Dragons supplement by Andy Collins and Bruce R Cordell) "...See vampire spawn as embarrassing poseurs trying far too hard to pass themselves off as living beings."
Furthermore, they're trendy. If I wanted to be trendy, I'd put a hair curtain over one of my eyes, start wearing Sara's pants and cutting myself. The reason why so many of the popular kids and trendoids are getting into vampires (thus muddying the waters of the interesting and fascinating subject for those that actually understand it) is because they were told vampires were cool and don't like to think for themselves.
Another great blow to my potential interest is Anne Rice. She's a bad writer. There. I said it. She should have quit after interview. Show me five central male vampire characters that AREN'T gay or bi-sexual and I'll take it back...Can't do it? That's because her characters lack substance, individuality, and depth. I'm not saying that homosexuals and bisexuals cannot have those things. Nay, they often do, frequently in great abundance, but I think its pretty clear to everyone who's read her that her characters are doing little more than playing out her own erotic fantasies. Since this is the person that did the most to popularize the genre...I think that says a lot.
(Just for the record, allow me to restate that I have absolutely no problem with homosexuality or bisexuality, just for those who don't know the most basic information about me, but if all of your primary characters share a sexual preference that places them in the overwhelming minority, then you may want to consider a career that doesn't involve writing...But then again, if you cater to the yoai/shonen ai fangirls, its all about content and not about substance. Also, for the record, yes, I do have a few bisexual/gay characters and yes, they're male.)
Furthermore, they're flat. The "grappling with the loss of their own humanity and searching for love and fighting my own feral instincts" angle wears out real quickly. Extrapolating further on that, of undeath and love I have much to say.
The overwhelming majority of people don't care to think much about this fact, but it is common knowledge for a scientific standpoint, that the sensation we most equate to love is little more than chemicals and hormones. The problem here is that undead are unaffected by mind-altering poisons and chemicals (to say nothing of how long ago the brain ceased to produce them) so long as you use a model that really makes sense... More on that in the next paragraph. How can vampires love, then? Excellent question. I would just love to confront any number of the writers that use vampires with that very question.
The only rational, thought-out model of the undead that I have encountered, deals with supernatural animation. Not a sickness that affects dead tissue (George Romero is another similar rant, on the American movie industries mistakes overriding centuries of ancient myths) or any other such garbage. Ergo, they are a moving corpse. These don't have circulating blood and even if what you think of as a vampire does, the brain is no longer responsible for animation, due to the fact that it has since become supernatural in nature. Vampire aside, many undead are affected only by blindness and an inability to properly feed if their head is removed, but the death of a vampire by decapitation is substantiated by older myths.
Now at this point, after all I've said, one may wonder if I have anything good to say about vampires at all. If you mean the vampires that most people know, than the answer is a flat and emphatic no. Actual, mythologically accurate vampires, however, are another story.
The oldest stories, such as those of Hecate and her companions and Lamia are rather interesting, though none of those described above were pretty (in fact all were described as hideous or deformed), so those ignorant of all but the modern stories aren't likely to think of them as vampires unless you actually saw them drinking blood.
The modern (as in roughly the 1600-1700s on, and getting worse the further they went) European (primarily) vampire is the only one that really disgusts me in such a manner. Many others I actually find quite interesting.
The far east has a number of interesting vampires, notably the vampire that travels by leaping and is blind, able to sense creatures by their breath, rather than using its sight and drains the chi instead of blood is known to the Chinese as the Jiang Shi (though it also exists in Japanese and Korean lore under a similar name). The pennaggolan too, a floating head that uses its hanging entrails to attack is quite a different creature than its Western companion. Even the kappa, though not undead, also has a tendency to feed upon blood.
Before the 1600s, I would be rather neutral on the matter of even the European vampires. Surely the matter of a sudden, illness wrought death in the family followed by the relatives being inexplicably tired until the body is exhumed, found undecayed and destroyed is easily explicable, but not over-popularized or contrived. For those of you who suppose yourself well-read in the subject of vamparism, is this story doesn't sound intimately familiar to you, then you're a fraud, because this is how it happened for ages before they developed the emo boy you're worshiping.
For those curious, my explanation for such events is as follows. In the middle ages, medicine was something of a joke by today's standards. As a result, people often "died suddenly of an illness," and were put to rest, ie buried prematurely. At this point the body enters a death-like state not unlike suspended animation where virtually no food, water, or even oxygen is needed. The body can sustain itself for quite some time in such a manner.
The relatives have troubled sleeps and dream of the deceased and wake up exhausted... As though this was not a normal part of grieving. They dig up the body about a week later and what do you know? It hasn't putrefied. So do they realize they're mistake, attempt to revive the "corpse," and rejoice in their assumed dead returned to them? Of course not. This is the middle ages. There was no science or reason, just God and superstition. They usually mutilated and burned the unfortunate half-dead.
These are the facts. Many of you will not like it, and some of those will argue, but I have a fairly good amount of research on my side. Make of these what you will.

nice lol you and i both know we had a long discusion about that nii san lol

Well... there are plenty of people who aren't just into vampires because it's "cool." In fact, if someone had told me it was cool back when I was a pre-teen, I would have never gotten into the whole genre.

It's not just a trend thing.

I think I am in love your mind! How awesome that I have found another person who thinks that Anne Rice cannot write her way out of a paper bag! Her characters ARE flat and repetitious, I read 1.2 books at the insistence of a "friend" (real friends don't let friends read Anne Rice). With the first book, I kept an open mind and hoped that it would get better. It didn't. I do remember long ago in jr. high a very short fascination with vampires, but it was first of all the concept of "what if", and then second of all, men look good in black, well, women do too (I guess?). I hate blindly agreeing with ANYONE, but I so agree with all of your reasoning...except... isn't oxytocin the hormone most responsible for falling in love? I didn't think that seretonin had any involvement with that. Maybe her vampires are bisexual because they are "in between" both life and death and male and female! This is said with respect, because I would never want to insult put down the gay men that I know and love, and I know quite a few! And thanks for the history lesson, there are not a lot of people in the world who I learn new things from.

i have already told you josh but i thought i should post...
it is too true that vampires have been way over-fan-girled...
fangirls will ruin everything eventually...
vampires have gone from something you are disgusted to see to pretty much emo guys(wearing tight pants and tight shirts) ...its horrible...

*sarcastic voice* ohh really? like what?? (i can be such a smart a** xp )

ohh course i know what it is...hmm...maybe...this GUILD! xp

This is more about vampires in general, rather than Gaia vampires, but thanks for posting.

You can't use alternate skin, you can't change expressions, and you cannot use different eyes...It really fits the unoriginality that vampires have adopted over time and shows an ill conception in design even. I like that. Its all so fitting.