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RavenclawGreat

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:33 am


Who is agnostic....but not living for God.

Ok so yes I know there is an agnostic thread already but this is more I know being agnostic and not having a firm belief is not right and I want to know how to talk to my g/f about it(she is actually on gaia too). I kinda have been slipping in the God conversation now and then and she listens because we love each other but It is long and hard trying to get her to see what is right and why she is suffering so much (moved senior year, has one parent, is living pretty poor right now). So she is going through hard times and I just keep thinking ugh if you had a belief in God it would be a lot better for you to handle. I guess I posted this to see if anyone else has ideas or support and if they have had to deal with this firsthand or through another. Becuase I love her and I want her to find the greatest love of all.

And for all those saying she is a shakey christian that is all....thats really not how she is she hasn't group up in a church and she even told me she has considered buddishism so she really doesn't know what to believe but at least she believes there is something...I just need to work off that.. Now if she was athiest this would be a whole different story..

Suggestions, ideas, anicdotes, support, and prayer are all welcome.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:12 am


Agnosticism is a rational conclusion to come to. It is not a belief, but rather a statement of knowledge. In claiming that she cannot or does not know whether or not a deity does exist, she avoids pretentiousness.

That being said, what is it that she believes? Does she believe in a god, or not? She might have faith in a higher being, but not YHVH. She might also believe that no gods exist, period. If either case is true, there's no need to worry. While I'm sure that many feel that Christianity has helped them through difficult periods of their lives, many might need something else.

I, personally, was somewhat pathetic when I was a Christian. I was worried about making friends at school above all else, and worried about redeeming myself from the poor repuation I'd already constructed for myself, and Christianity, for me, got me friends. None of them, however, seemed entirely genuine--my youth group.

So, then I became a bit confused, started looking in to other religions, and finally settled on just atheism. I was a young teen at the time, and it was a hard time in life as it were. I was struggling with teen angst, and dealing with realizing my sexual preferences, as well as dealing with homesickness and an increased sense of feeling like I did not belong. At that point in time, I was suicidal (note: it was not my atheism nor lack of Christianity that caused this feeling--it was life issues).

What, aside from my lovely girlfriend, helped me out of this rut was actually Satanism. It might be an arguable religion, but it proved to be a helpful tool for me. Christianity simply doesn't do it for everyone, and if it's not helping your friend get through her struggles, perhaps it's time to look for something else that will help her. It doesn't necessarily need to be a religion nor a god. It can be anything that proves effective--music, a hobby, a talent, what have you.

In short, Christianity is not always the solution, and it doesn't work for everyone.

Also: Theravada Buddhism is an atheistic religion.

PirateEire


RavenclawGreat

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:21 am


PirateEire
Agnosticism is a rational conclusion to come to. It is not a belief, but rather a statement of knowledge. In claiming that she cannot or does not know whether or not a deity does exist, she avoids pretentiousness.

That being said, what is it that she believes? Does she believe in a god, or not? She might have faith in a higher being, but not YHVH. She might also believe that no gods exist, period. If either case is true, there's no need to worry. While I'm sure that many feel that Christianity has helped them through difficult periods of their lives, many might need something else.

I, personally, was somewhat pathetic when I was a Christian. I was worried about making friends at school above all else, and worried about redeeming myself from the poor repuation I'd already constructed for myself, and Christianity, for me, got me friends. None of them, however, seemed entirely genuine--my youth group.

So, then I became a bit confused, started looking in to other religions, and finally settled on just atheism. I was a young teen at the time, and it was a hard time in life as it were. I was struggling with teen angst, and dealing with realizing my sexual preferences, as well as dealing with homesickness and an increased sense of feeling like I did not belong. At that point in time, I was suicidal (note: it was not my atheism nor lack of Christianity that caused this feeling--it was life issues).

What, aside from my lovely girlfriend, helped me out of this rut was actually Satanism. It might be an arguable religion, but it proved to be a helpful tool for me. Christianity simply doesn't do it for everyone, and if it's not helping your friend get through her struggles, perhaps it's time to look for something else that will help her. It doesn't necessarily need to be a religion nor a god. It can be anything that proves effective--music, a hobby, a talent, what have you.

In short, Christianity is not always the solution, and it doesn't work for everyone.

Also: Theravada Buddhism is an atheistic religion.


I can honestly say that that you seem to have a really really warped view of what Christianity is and I am sorry ahead of time if I offend you. The fact of the matter is that if I believe what I believe then I know that God not Christianity can help her and if I don't believe that then I don't have faith in God. yes the things you mentioned like art or music can be temporary fixes but it can't ever take the place of what God wants for her...So I respect what ou believe Pirate but agnosticism in and of itself is not rational due to the fact that you are not deciding on anything but rather being indecisive. Thats not how life works you can't just be indecisive about things. I truly think when you think of Christianity you think of it as a religion and not a God who cares for you and loves you...until you get to that point then you never really knew what it was about..and I feel horrible that no one helped you there and that you choose satanism instead.

In other words these things of the earth only help for a bit but they are not the know all be all and I am asking anyone else if they know a good way to talk to her about what the way and truth and the light is to help her realize that God has her problems in his hands.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:32 am


By the same note, I think that you have completely misdefined agnosticism. Agnosticism is not indecision. It is a knowledge claim, an affirmative and decided (while subject to change at any time) claim at that. While many do believe that agnosticism is some kind of fence sitting position between theism and atheism, it is not.

A - Without
Gnosis - Knowledge

A - Without
Theos - Belief

I am a religious agnostic atheist. Understand the terms, and my affiliation makes perfect sense.

That aside, I am not telling you not to use Christianity because it's wrong. I am telling you not to use it because if she is rejecting the idea, she obviously finds it to be little help and most likely nothing will have her conclude otherwise at this point in time, so if she is suffering, as you say, and you want to help her, don't try to help her with something she's not open to yet. Help her with something that will actually help.

Do you see what I'm getting at?

PirateEire


RavenclawGreat

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:11 pm


PirateEire
By the same note, I think that you have completely misdefined agnosticism. Agnosticism is not indecision. It is a knowledge claim, an affirmative and decided (while subject to change at any time) claim at that. While many do believe that agnosticism is some kind of fence sitting position between theism and atheism, it is not.

A - Without
Gnosis - Knowledge

A - Without
Theos - Belief

I am a religious agnostic atheist. Understand the terms, and my affiliation makes perfect sense.

That aside, I am not telling you not to use Christianity because it's wrong. I am telling you not to use it because if she is rejecting the idea, she obviously finds it to be little help and most likely nothing will have her conclude otherwise at this point in time, so if she is suffering, as you say, and you want to help her, don't try to help her with something she's not open to yet. Help her with something that will actually help.

Do you see what I'm getting at?


haha ya Pirate to a degree...but I don't claim to be adverse much in theology, (but I will be when I start classes at college in a week) but in general you seem to be running your claims in circles.

Lets start with this...do you agree that agnosticism is someone who believes in a higher power of some sort but doesn't have a set stance or belief? Because the definitions you gave me point to (without belief) which is exactly what that is...it isn't a claim of saying i believe that there is something...it is a stance that I don't know what I want to believe nor do I at this point believe in something. And yes the definition may not be off to the side as that but thats what she labels herself as and that what most people (like it or not) who do not know how to use words in proper context. In as clear as I can try to say it..she believes in something but is confused about how to believe it or why and what to believe. As in she is a person who is "I have to see it to believe it" which is not faith as I am sure you know the definition of.

And to say you are atheist and agnostic is (pardon the word) is an oxymoron due to the fact that atheism is a belief in absolutely no higher power or anything, it is a belief in nothing more than science and what we see around us. So to say you are a satanist who atheist would say does not exist is going agaist that term...Now pirate I am not trying to attack you in anyway because thats not what I believe God wants me to do. I actually find this conversation quite stimulating. So just know that.

Now back onto my g/f. In no way has she rejected the idea of having a God who loves her and wants to take care of her needs.. She just has a hard time seeing prayer and God work in her life because she has had a tough life. And yes she does do things to try to cure that like getting and talking to friends on Gaia or talking to me on the phone (she lives in FL now its a long distance relationship) or reading harry potter smile But just the other day she was almost in tears talking to me saying how she is so frustrated. So I don't think worldly things are working too well for her. I would tell you more of what she delved into but that isn't for a public board. Maybe talk to me in PM if you want to try to listen to the story. but ya.. You seem like a very smart person and I so far love your responses but do you see what I am getting at..?

Geezz I wish more people would respond on this thread it would be more interesting.

Plus I could still use help for this prob.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 8:17 pm


Let's take this piece by piece.

RavenclawGreat
do you agree that agnosticism is someone who believes in a higher power of some sort but doesn't have a set stance or belief?
No. I am an agnostic. I have a set stance and belief. Agnosticism is not uncertainty, as it is commonly misconstrued to be. It is a very clear and very specific claim.

Agnosticism is the claim that the existence of gods is unknowable.

Belief has nothing to do with agnosticism.

If you claim that gods are non-falsifiable, whether you believe in them or not, you claim an agnostic stance. Agnosticism and a/theism are not mutually exclusive. Make sense?

RavenclawGreat
Because the definitions you gave me point to (without belief) which is exactly what that is...it isn't a claim of saying i believe that there is something...it is a stance that I don't know what I want to believe nor do I at this point believe in something.
That is incorrect. A common misconception, and incorrect. When I say without belief, I mean that belief has nothing to do with the claim. The definition of agnosticism does not involve belief. Make sense?

Have some reads:
[1] [2]

RavenclawGreat
And yes the definition may not be off to the side as that but thats what she labels herself as and that what most people (like it or not) who do not know how to use words in proper context. In as clear as I can try to say it..she believes in something but is confused about how to believe it or why and what to believe.
Then she is a theist with no specific beliefs. Agnosticism has no relevance.

RavenclawGreat
As in she is a person who is "I have to see it to believe it" which is not faith as I am sure you know the definition of.
So she's a skeptic, yet still a theist? Interesting... Not many of those...

RavenclawGreat
And to say you are atheist and agnostic is (pardon the word) is an oxymoron due to the fact that atheism is a belief in absolutely no higher power or anything, it is a belief in nothing more than science and what we see around us. So to say you are a satanist who atheist would say does not exist is going agaist that term...Now pirate I am not trying to attack you in anyway because thats not what I believe God wants me to do. I actually find this conversation quite stimulating. So just know that.
Understood. Allow me to break down the definitions of these religious/belief affiliations I claim.

Agnostic - I claim that the existence of gods is non-falsifiable.
+
Atheist - I do not believe in gods.
=
"Soft Atheist"

Satanist - The first form of Satanism to exist as a belief system started in the 1960's by Anton Szandor LaVey. It's the first time the term was taken, seriously, rather than given as a pejorative. Today, this form of Satanism is known as the first and largest form of Satanism. A part of the philosophy is that no deities exist. Satanism is atheistic.

RavenclawGreat
Now back onto my g/f. In no way has she rejected the idea of having a God who loves her and wants to take care of her needs.. She just has a hard time seeing prayer and God work in her life because she has had a tough life.
Ah, then it appears I misunderstood the situation. In that case, why not take a different angle with it? Something less conventional and original that will have her find an easier way to completely trust in these concepts?

RavenclawGreat
And yes she does do things to try to cure that like getting and talking to friends on Gaia or talking to me on the phone (she lives in FL now its a long distance relationship) or reading harry potter smile But just the other day she was almost in tears talking to me saying how she is so frustrated. So I don't think worldly things are working too well for her. I would tell you more of what she delved into but that isn't for a public board. Maybe talk to me in PM if you want to try to listen to the story. but ya.. You seem like a very smart person and I so far love your responses but do you see what I am getting at..?
Yes, completely. I personally clear up personal doubts with study, but every person is different. I recommend trying as many different methods of helping her as you can muster. When I was a Christian, and I felt like there was too much tragedy in my life for there to be a God, I quite liked that poem about footprints...

RavenclawGreat
Geezz I wish more people would respond on this thread it would be more interesting.

Plus I could still use help for this prob.
I'm sure others will get around to it in time. I know Rowena's a busy girl, and Takai is going through a tough situation now, so it might be a little more dead than usual.

And Burny probably got stuck on a wall. biggrin

PirateEire


Rowena Marion
Captain

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:31 pm


PirateEire
I'm sure others will get around to it in time. I know Rowena's a busy girl, and Takai is going through a tough situation now, so it might be a little more dead than usual.

And Burny probably got stuck on a wall. biggrin


Wow Pirate, you have us pegged, don't you? lol. I am indeed a busy girl--just got home from work and I'm off to re cover a chair! (yay! I love DIY projects!)

I have one thing to say on this situation you're describing, Great, and I want you to really listen to this because it is a painful lesson to learn: Missionary Dating is WRONG.

Missionary dating is defined (by me and the rest of my friends/past youth groups) as dating a person of a different faith (or a lack of faith) with the idea that you will be able to show them the way to Christ. It breaks alot of hearts--and it's a huge reason why you shouldn't be involved romantically with someone whose beliefs are different from yours--because God won't necessarily find people in your timing. God's timing really freaking sucks sometimes, actually--at least, that's how it will look like to us. This advice is more for you than for her--because if you are in the relationship for the wrong reason, nothing but heartache awaits you.

But, since you are already in a relationship, I will continue on from this point in the assumption that you are not missionary dating; that you, in fact, just didn't look at spiritual compatability before you began the relationship. (you will also notice that I am setting aside the debate about the word Agnostic.)

Your girlfriend, you say, has trouble seeing God work in her life--so did I, before HE revealed it to me. God is always working in our lives, and we RARELY see it for what it is at the time. I'm going to bust out an example I've used before in this guild (i think), but it illustrates my point:

There is something you need to understand about my town--drugs, dealing, cutting, depression, while on the fall, are still really big parts of alot of people's lives. When I was 15, someone who was like a mother to me was the victim of a suspicious suicide (many of us think she had some help). Not only was she like a mother to me, but she was like a mother to the entire drama department--about 90 already emotionally unstable teens (I mean, we were in drama). I should also point out that roughly 10% of these kids were Christians, including the woman's daughter.

What I went through in the weeks after--clinging desperately to prayer just to have something to cling too, crying everyday, watching as my friends, believers and non-believers alike, fell into drugs and self mutilation.... Well, I still believed in God, sure, even though I was a pretty new Christian...but I was angry with Him. I didn't see any purpose in what I went through. Why would a God that 'loved' me let me see that much pain?

I came through that time in my life--by the grace of God--relatively unscathed. But I still didn't understand the WHY. WHY would God let that happen to me? Didn't he love me?

It wasn't until years later, as high school graduation drew close, that I understood why. In the space of a few months, I had more divine appointments with people dealing with suicide, contemplating suicide, or scared for a friend in that place, than I EVER wanted to have. And I realised, one day, why God had let me go through the pain of that earlier experience. While God didn't cause what happened, he used my pain and my suffering for something good. I never would have related to people that I had, really, random conversations with if I hadn't been there and in that hardship.

What I'm trying to say is that Hindsight is 20/20, especially with God. I didn't realize until YEARS later that God was using that hard time--the times that I was crying out to Him "Why? Why are you doing this to me? Don't you love me?"--to prepare me for the works he had laid out ahead of me.

Your GF may not see God's plans for her now or even in the near future, but be assured that he WILL use her "tough life" for good.

As far as what you could do to talk about it with her and help her to see God--not much. Talk is good, but talk alone won't change anything. Pray for her faithfuly. Prayer is the biggest catalyst of change in our world and beyond. Get others to pray for her as well--I will certainly do so.

And don't talk too much. The last thing someone who is seeking answers to the 'why' questions of their life and God needs is to hear someone tell them how much easier knowing God will make their life. Because knowing God doesn't make everything better--it just makes you better equipped to deal. Give her some space to seek--but keep praying for her. Ask God to show her ways in which he is relavent to her. Ask God to open her eyes and her heart to his works. Just Pray. Prayer helps.

and.....Rowena has finished another signature LOOOOOOOONG post. Hope some of it was relavent.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:40 am


Quote:
And Burny probably got stuck on a wall.

what do you mean by that? :0

anyway, the two definitions of agnosticism that RavenclawGreat (welcome to the guild btw) and you have are almost identical in my opinion.

here's how i broke it down in my mind:
your defintion: agnosticism is a claim that the existence of gods is unknowable.
his: agnosticism is uncertainty over whether gods exist.

maybe i'm just a country bumpkin or i got the definitions wrong, but they seem similar in my eyes.

Bertrand Russel said this:

Quote:
An agnostic thinks it impossible to know the truth in matters such as God and the future life with which Christianity and other religions are concerned. Or, if not impossible, at least impossible at the present time.


so according to Russel, it seems like he would've agreed more or less with your definition.

but then Robert G. Ingersoll, the "Great Agnostic", says this:

Quote:
Is there a God? I do not know. Is man immortal? I do not know. One thing I do know, and that is, that neither hope, nor fear, belief, nor denial, can change the fact. It is as it is, and it will be as it must be.

for him, it seemed that agnosticism was more of uncertainty, rather than a claim of unknowability (is that a word?). although it seems he was more persuaded that there was no god, as he says earlier in his lecture that he believes Nature is supreme, he seems uncertain about it by the passage above, as he says "i do not know." he also says "We can be as honest as we are ignorant. If we are, when asked what is beyond the horizon of the known, we must say that we do not know."

finally, Dictionary.com defines agnosticism as follows: an intellectual doctrine or attitude affirming the uncertainty of all claims to ultimate knowledge.

so i think it boils down to whether "claiming that the existence of gods" or "uncertainty over whether gods exist" are saying the same thing in different ways or not.

that's just my two cents however.

oh, and i repeat the sentiments Row gave in the post above, and i encourage you (RavenclawGreat) to pray for your gf. even if she won't hear you when you speak to hear, God will hear you when you pray to Him.

i like burnination


PirateEire

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 7:33 am


The main difference to note, Burny, is that even your source said that he simply cannot know if gods exist. He is uncertain whether they do or do not, and hope, faith, belief, etc. cannot change that he simply cannot know. What he believes has no relevance on what he doesn't know.

Many people think that agnosticism is not knowing what you believe--which is false, and seems to be the (false) definition that Mr. Ravenclaw (woo--LUNA) is familiar with.

Agnosticism is, in short, the claim that gods are non-falsifiable.

It is not, however, not knowing what you believe. Belief has no relevance in the definition of agnosticism.

Ingersoll is right. He says there is an absolute answer: either gods do, or do not exist. However, he claims that he cannot be sure which is true, because gods are non-falsifiable, regardless what he believes.

Make sense? I'm afraid I'm repeating myself quite a bit.

i like burnination
Quote:
And Burny probably got stuck on a wall.

what do you mean by that? :0
Oh, you know!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 10:09 am


well there have defiantly been some relevant points and I am taking a second look at my theological definitions pirate (even though I still think mine is right razz ) And burny I thank you for look at both sides for us.

And Roena I really really do thank you for your input. Thats a really great story to tell people about how God really works in his time smile . My dad is ordained as a pastor but he is a preschool director of the church right now and he said basically the same thing about it. Prayer is amazing and I know what it can do so I guess giving it up to God is what I did.

And just to clarify I am not missionary dating, really its just I love her so much I want to see her happy with the joy I know of everlasting life. So thats helpful I hope.

But as an update I talked to her about it last night just about how I thought I was being pushy and I was basically in tears the entire time. It was so hard because right before I had bought her a special easy to read new testement and I am still going to give it to her in due time. I got one of my own if she has questions. But her friend showed me a convo they had a while back that hit my heart hard and so I had to call and get it figured out. We are still together but man i have to learn patience.

Its God will not mine. Even if it is tough to see a very very dear loved one not have the hope I do.

But I will still send the bible soon when I get up to college because she doesn't have one at all and she is not really busy at all down there with friends or hw so I hope God can work in that way and someone can enter her life down there that can help because I am basically just waiting for her to get the idea in her head before I will listen and talk about it. Even though I will say how God is working in my life still just to tell her how I am doing.

I just pray God shows her something through that book when it gets sent in the next 4 weeks....but I just need to remember he works in his time not mine.

Any more thoughts are welcome though guys I love having the support.

RavenclawGreat


PirateEire

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:02 pm


RavenclawGreat
well there have defiantly been some relevant points and I am taking a second look at my theological definitions pirate (even though I still think mine is right razz )
Glad you're rethinking it, but don't cling too closely to what you personally believe the definition of agnosticism to be in the face of proof. Willful ignorance was never very becoming...
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:35 pm


Quote:
However, he claims that he cannot be sure which is true, because gods are non-falsifiable, regardless what he believes

isn't that uncertainty though? not being sure?

Quote:
Oh, you know!

hmmm ... looks like fun.

i like burnination


PirateEire

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 11:03 am


i like burnination
Quote:
However, he claims that he cannot be sure which is true, because gods are non-falsifiable, regardless what he believes

isn't that uncertainty though? not being sure?
No, it's not. One can be certain in their beliefs, just as I am certain that there is no god. However, at the same time, one can be certain that we cannot know, despite our beliefs. You see, a/theism are belief claims, and agnosticism is a knowledge claim. This is why such specifications as "hard" and "soft" a/theists exist. Hard a/theists believe that there are or are not gods, and that their beliefs can be supported by fact. Soft a/theists believe that there are or are not gods, but that they may never know for sure.
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