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For over a year I'd gone out with this guy, then this summer he left for basic training. We're engaged; we love each other as much as two people can love each other. But, during the last week before he came home, I realized I had developed a crush (and I really don't want to call it a crush because it's serious, NOT puppy love) on twins. I fought it; I really did, because I really love my fiance, but it's no use. I love them too.

Now my fiance is back, and . . . for the most part, he's just the way he always was . . . but not entirely. It's not the fact that he's changed that bothers me; it's WHAT has changed. Fortunately I grew up quite a bit this summer, so I'm not suicidal or anything like I would have been, but to be honest, I am kind of scared of how he acts now. The complications from before (feelings for twins as well as my fiance) on top of the changes in my fiance make my love life confusing and the future uncertain.

What I want to know is, have any of you been in my situation, and if you have what did you do?

I kind of was, I guess.

A guy that I was with since the begining of high school underwent some changes in the end and finally he snapped and did a complete 180 on his life after his mother died.

Grieving granted, but even before she died I'd noticed he started to want to do thing. Things his mother never approved of and were not the most ideal of things. I.E: piercing, tatooes, going to late clubbing, steroids..

Finally, I broke up with him.

I took a while to sit there and think ''you know, we did say we were going to get married one day....but can I really see myself living with him and his issues for the rest of MY life? Oh wait, it's MY life I have a choice!''

So, for a while he tried the whole ''we can still be friends'' gig but soon came to lie to me about seeing and sleeping with other girls. My friends tried to tell me, but I didn't want to believe it. Though there was evidence everywhere in his bedroom (back when I lived with my mom, she was not the cleanest of drinkers and I'd sometimes run off to his house to stay the night and would find things in his room before he got there.)

So anyway, so you guys got engaged. Perhaps you need some more time to think it ver, but you'll eventually need to decide, can you live with his changes?

And decide for YOURSELF, not the twins.

...after all the stuff I went through, I prayed about it and let God take control, now I'm married to a respectable man who shares the same views as I do. I could not be happier.

And I could have made the wrong choice.

Just keep in mind, it's your choice, too.

Sounds like you are staying with him out of guilt.

But it's your decision. Hope that it works out for the best for you.

First question: I don't really know. I just sort of realized that somewhere along the line I had developed feelings for them.

Second question: I don't know anyone who loves their partner as much as we love each other. I also don't know anyone who fights with their partner as much as we do, though.

Labor day weekend I went with my fiance and his family to California where his grandparents live. I decided a few things there. 1. I am never traveling with his family again. 2. I don't like his family. 3. If I ever fight that much with him in a single day again, it's over.
We fought so much on this trip. I know everyone's blaming me, but it takes two to fight, you know? Before this...I thought love was all powerful. I'm not sure anymore. I kinda wonder... if maybe we're just trying to make something work that can't.

Clashing personalities? That's my guess anyway. I really don't think we're gonna last that much longer as an item. I'm tired of his crap and he's tired of mine. Not to mention . . . he's the only guy I've ever gone out with. Let's face it - I don't have enough experience in life to get married. I've never had a job, I've never dated anyone else, and I just started to understand myself a month ago. All the dreams I built up over my lifetime are either gone or lost their enthusiasm, except one: my career - it might not be a bad idea if I focus solely on that for a while (besides the inevitable school.) I love my boyfriend, but maybe I need to set my love aside for a while, until I finish growing up. Haha - fairy tale romances are never what people think they are...

heart Hey, thanks everyone. Well, that particular disaster is over, but as I have a tendency to jump from one crises right into another, I am sure I will return. Even if you can't help, it's comforting to know someone's listening. heart