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 Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:36 pm
Ok. My rant had nothing to do with RS but still I need to rant!
Ok...
A few years ago my step-dad got into a car crash and had to have a heart valvue(spelling?) put in and it ticks. It kept both my parents up so they got some medication that helps them sleep. Well, actully, its supposed to help them fall asleep and stay asleep longer.
Well it worked fine for a few years but in the last year or so my mom has started 'fighting' the medication. She's supposed to take it before bed and then go to sleep but what she does it take it and watch T.V. and refuse to go to sleep, saying "It doesnt work." or "Im not tired." when she plainly is.
So, I see that she is tired and I say something like, "Mom, you seem tired, why dont you go to bed?" but she just says no. In the past few months she started eating a lot after she would take the medication and I mean a lot. On top of that, she makes huge messes when she makes her 'snacks' which I used to clean up but now I just leave them for her.
So I started getting tougher, saying "Mom, your not really hungry, your tired, go to bed." But then she'd just get bitchy at me for being 'snotty' so I said ******** it! You wanna be a fat a** pig, go ahead.
I can't have friends spend the night because of her. I dont know how she'll act and I dont want any of my friends to see her like that. She embaress me so bad. I hate being seen with here.
Now tonight is a good example. She took her medication and began to read her book but fell asleep in the chair. So I wake her up and she goes into her room and turns on the f-ing T.V. What the hell!? She comes out into the kitchen and is messing around with something but Im just so sick of this I dont even bother to look up. When I do go into the kitchen it looks like theres Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough all over the place. Come to find out, its stuffing and maybe peanut butter too. Its all over the counters and cupboards, and even in some of them. She comes into the living room looking for the remote for the T.V. in her room not wearing pants or underwear which means she and my step dad have just finished 'bumping uglies.'
Also, this has caused my depresion to get worse. No one but Chirs (a good friend of mine) believes that I am depressed but thats becuase I cover it well. Now back to my mom, I almost slit my wrist because of her. I want to tell her how I feel but she'll just use some lame excusse. I want to suggest family counsling but she'd never go. Me and my step-dad have trouble talking and stuff, and my mom and him are fighting more and more. Im sick and tired of this. I'd rather live with my dad but I dont really get a long with him. Hes the kind of guy that believes women belong in the kitchen and can never be as strong as a man and that children should shut the hell up and just look cute. Me on the other had believe that women can do anything they set their heart to and that children are smarter than people think. I mean look at it, to children, there is no such thing as being white or black. You just wanna have fun.
But anyway, I feel a little better. I'll probably add another scar or two to my arm tonight even thought I havent in like 6 months, thank you mom!
I just cant wait til Im gone so I never have to deal with this ever again!
Im just glad I have friends like you guys that I can talk to.
Don't bother yelling at me for cutting myself, it wont help. I started because of my dad and Im getting better. As for the wrist slitting thing, it wont happen, well, not for another 30 years or more. I have a goal to prove to my dad that I can be somebody and also I wanna tell him he can go ******** himself.
*Gasp*
Ok, Im done now.
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:26 am
Yikes. A suggestion. Go to your doctor and tell him about your mom. That behaviour sounds like some side effect of the medication, and it doesn't sound like your mom realizes it. Kinda like an addiction. Your doctor may be able to help you.
Your mom may get mad at you for it, but you are trying to help her. When she gets better, she'll realize this for sure.
Also, is she acting differently during the day? You may be able to talk with her about it then. The medication may be causing her irritability. It's kinda like when I had to tell my dad what idiotic things he did while he was drunk. However, it may not do much. Early on it worked slightly, but later on, he just stopped believing what I was telling him, and thought I was against him. So if she does act bitchy at you even when she's not on the medication, find help for her. She won't because she doesn't know there's anything wrong. If she is understanding, however, then ask her to get some help for herself, and make sure she does. If she doesn't, go get her that help.
You seem to be trying to keep her in line. You can't do it alone, trust me, I tried for like 15 years. Siding with my dad so that he wouldn't do anything stupid, even though I really didn't want to. I tried keeping my family together for so long. I did succeed too, but things got worse because my dad never got help with his drinking problem. I couldn't help him with that. You may still have a chance to help your mom though.
It was worse for my dad because he was like that pretty much all my life. The way your mom changed, is kinda like what I'm putting up with right now. My mom has been acting way differently since we finally kicked my dad out for being a ******** drunk/addict. I don't know what it is, but my best guess is that, this is the way she acted before she was married. I don't really care to see this side of her, and she's lost a lot of my respect. However, she's nowhere as bad as my dad, so I can put up with it. Even though it pisses me off to see her act so... Childish. She's like some horny teenager, it's disgusting. sweatdrop
Do all that you can, but there are others who can help you deal with this. People who can do much more, and make it much easier on you. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 4:09 pm
I see what you mean but she acts normal during the day. Its only after shes taken her medication.
Im not sure if I could contact the doctor that gave it to her or call the police. I think my step-dad might know that shes like this but he usually takes his medication and then goes right to sleep. I'll see if I can dig up the number and ask the doctor.
It just scares me some times becuase the medication makes her groggy and I dont know how it happened but she was sitting on the kitchen floor and couldnt even stand up. Im strong but I cant lift her up, (shes a little on the bigger side.) I had to wake my step-dad up and we finally got her into bed.
I'll call the doctor next weekend, when I get home from my dads.
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Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:30 am
Alright. Hopefully you can get it sorted out. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:46 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:12 pm
It may be a little late to say any thing but if you need any comfert im here for you lizzy
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:15 pm
lord zetta123 It may be a little late to say any thing but if you need any comfert im here for you lizzy
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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:28 am
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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:55 pm
talk2hand I dont need your left over lovin
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Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:15 pm
lizzardoffire16 talk2hand I dont need your left over lovin
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:46 pm
lord zetta123 lizzardoffire16 talk2hand I dont need your left over lovin
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:46 pm
Kail of the Shadow Flames lord zetta123 lizzardoffire16 talk2hand I dont need your left over lovin You're a little late Kail.
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