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I was looking through a bridal magazine with my friend and something that I noticed was how almost all of the dresses were strapless or really revealing.

I sort of chortled because.. here you are, dressed in virginal white, wearing a veil, and showing off your chest for everyone to see! Kind of counter-intuitive.

When I get married I'm looking for something with some sort of sleeves and a flattering but modest top, and then a lace mantilla (I love mantillas).. it's amazing though how much I've looked for pretty gowns that meet my requirements and have come up short! I'll probably have to have mine custom made or something.

Anybody else had a problem finding nice formal wear, even wedding attire, that doesn't display everything to the world?!

Well, as a man...I can't say that I personally run into that problem.

But I have noticed it to be the case for women. Though I personally think that revealing a little bit (shoulders, collarbone) can be quite classy, you're right that it may not be the best choice for a traditional wedding.

When my sister got married, her gown had sort of off-the-shoulder sleeves, similar to this. (That's not at all like her dress, but the top has the same general idea.) I thought it was a good choice. It's modest while still being very flattering, modern, and stylish. Her veil also fell around her shoulders. It worked quite well, even in my family's rather conservative and old-fashioned crowd.

Something else you could consider is a strapless dress with a modest neckline and getting something to wear over your shoulders. How well that actually works depends largely on the dress and the cover that you get to go with it, but I've seen it look extremely nice.

If you're going to go with short sleeves, I'd say go for something like what I talked about with my sister's dress, or something along the lines of cap sleeves. Any other kind of shorter sleeves tends to look a lot less formal and stylish. They do make some really beautiful long-sleeved gowns as well.

A lot of the bigger gown companies tend to carry mostly only the most "trendy" styles, but there's loads of different dresses out there. I'm sure you'll be able to find something that works.

(I'm a musician and I play for weddings frequently, so I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to wedding gowns. And I'm just a fashion whore.)

i like your sister's dress.its very breakfast at tiffany's.

I quite like the formalwear at http://www.zorifashion.com -- all of them have the covered chest, the longer sleeve, and the skirt length that's appropriate to Jewish modesty laws. If you want the same general idea, but shorter sleeves, try looking for Mormon wedding gowns and formals. They often have short sleeves or cap sleeves, and maybe a slightly lower neck line or higher hem (up to the knee, even), but are generally considered modest by most non-Jewish and non-Muslim standards.

Yeah, I think that's one reason why my parents don't really want me to go to prom cause the dresses are revealing up there and I'm just uncomfortable showing off too much. I'm even uncomfortable with wearing short sleeves, half sleeves are fine, though.

I think the shawl idea is great! Maybe that will get them to let me go cause I've never been to homecoming or anything and my friends all want me to go to prom but I just don't know how to explain that I can't go because of religious reasons. D:

They won't understand or they'll think it's "stupid" and I like to avoid that.

I've read an article, which I'm having trouble locating right now, about a prom held at an Orthodox Jewish school. Everyone got to wear formalwear, talk to one another, have food together -- but for dancing, the sexes were separated by a curtain around the dancing areas, so that the boys couldn't see the girls dancing. That way everyone got to show off their finery and feel special, but there wasn't any hint of impropriety. Of course, the formalwear mostly had to be either custom made, ordered from places like Zori (link in my previous post), or bought and then have sleeves or neck/chest coverings added, but at least they had an opportunity to socialize and to experience a formal occasion, which is good preparation for adult life.

That does seem like a good system, though it doesn't really make the statement, "You're growing up and we feel we can trust you to make decisions we'll be proud of," does it? When I was in school, that was the major deal about prom. It was for us teenagers a chance to put on pretty clothes, but for the parents, it was a way to send the message that they felt they'd done a good job with us, and could rely on our own good sense, ethics, and morals. Guess that aspect of it is pretty much gone now.

well at my debs we had finished school and going on to 3rd level education so we would not have appreciated being not allowed to leave when we wanted as we were 19 and 20.my debs was freaky though because my mom,my sister,my gran and my best friend dropped me off and as i was entering the hotel this women rushed up to me with a camcorder and filmed me!she later told my mom that her son liked me! sweatdrop i still dont know how that woman was. stressed