Welcome to Gaia! ::

She rammed into the door it fell through so did Sarah landing with a thud on the floor. She got up dusted herself and went in search for the sound it was getting louder. Sarah ran into a room it was completely empty apart from a mirror standing tall at the back of the room. The screams fell silent whatever, whom ever had been screaming has stopped, for better or for worse. Sarah focused on the mirror she paced up to it and started inspecting herself in it, she was wearing a black skinny tee-shirt with a yellow smiley face on it and black drainpipes and a red studded belt matching her red converses. Her hair glistened black with purple and pink streaks making sure her fringe covered her right eye and that her red beads weren’t too tight she stepped away from the mirror happy with how she looked. The screaming began again, she looked around furiously where was it coming from? then she saw it a face on the mirror a wailing, moaning faded sad eyed face stood instead of Sarah’s reflection it reached out and pressed its hand against the glass on the other side it seemed to be begging her for help she became memorised by the wailing face and its sad eyes she stepped closer to the mirror reaching out to touch it.

A call rang out “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”. Sarah spun around broken away from the entrancement and saw the teenage guy behind her around 18 about 5 foot 10 inches tall with dark brown hair that covered his eyes Sarah smelt the air “your not human……… who are you?” Sarah snarled. The teenage guy replied quite chirpily “my names Rick and your right im not human im a werewolf I live around here but you… you’re not quite human either are you?”. “What do you mean? Im human! Besides what is that thing in the mirror?” she snapped back. “It’s well its sort of a lost soul it wants to suck the life from you so it will live again so don’t touch the mirror” Rick answered. Sarah stared at him, for a second, they locked eyes that’s all she needed. She knew, he wanted her dead nothing more. Nothing more than a fake face hiding those sharp teeth. “What is it?” Rick asked her puzzled by Sarah’s sudden expression of disgust. “Stay away from me I know what you’re up too” Sarah hesitated, that’s all it takes they say hesitate and they’ve got you………


He pounced simultaneously changing into a wolf whispering in her ear as he pinned her down “do you really know what I want?”. “You want to kill me don’t you?” she hissed. “Not quite, no not quite my dear” he smiled .then in a second he began to scratch at her wrists with his claws “such a pretty girl pity your of such a rare breed you’d make a good meal”. Sarah screeched in agony. Ricks eyes flashed at the sight of her blood a merciless look appeared on his face. Teeth bared, he restrained himself controlled his hunger. Stroking her face with one of his claws he snarled “if I killed you id be cursed but if I just drink your blood as a vampire would I wont be so no im not going to kill you”. “But won’t I die anyway?” Sarah whimpered. Rick ignored her slashing deeper into her arms until there were pools of blood, stopping only to lick his paws clean of blood before diving into biting and drinking the blood from her wrists. She could feel her flesh tear the pain was undying she started screaming furiously, helplessly. Sarah felt herself get weak just as she thought she was going to die he stopped licked his lips pulled away from her , still pinning her down, and watched as her wrists healed. He got up, letting her go, and simply gestured to her wrists shouting as he left “just as I thought”. She watched him walk off into the distance until there was no trace of him. She dragged herself to sit up still weak from before, Sarah stared at her wrists not a drop of blood not a scratch not a scar nothing. Though she could still heel a huge amount of aching undying pain her arms seemed healed.

Punctuation could definitely use some work - some of your sentences are difficult to read, as they feel a bit choppy without proper punctuation.

While that's my main gripe, there are also several other; smaller errors that could use fixing (like the "too" in "Stay away from me I know what you're up too" should be a "to").

Otherwise, the story's passable.