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 Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:59 pm
Okay, so my brother and I recently started going to the singles ward... or is it the univeristy ward? gah, can't remember. Anyways, there are alot of activities and whatnot that they through together, but we live in a small town about half an hour south of Tucson so going up there and back is a real hassle sometimes (especially since its in northern tucson).
after church services are over on sunday, we pretty much just jump in the car and go home... neither of us are very socialiable. I know a few of the people there since we were in the family ward together but other than them... I've always had trouble making friends at church because I guess I feel that my normal interests and actions are just not sunday school ettique. how can I make friends with someone when they don't see the me I am 168 hours a week?
Anyone else feel standoffish about singles ward? or are most of you guys younglings?
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:26 am
I felt somewhat similar when I started attending the university ward at my school.
Here's some ideas you could try:
Since getting there and back is a hassle for you, you should see if anyone lives near you. You could car-pool with them. Also, hanging out with them during the week might be easier.
Since you feel no one knows your hobbies, why not offer to coordinate an activity yourself? You can introduce people to what you do -- you never know, there's probably someone in the same boat as you.
Out of curiosity, what kind of hobbies are you talking about, anyway? smile
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 1:15 pm
My advice, go to some of the activities. I'm anti social at church too and don't go to school with anyone there either. I live just down the street from my building though and I like beeing active. So when there's an activity going on at the church or something like that, I go. Because of that, single's ward is way more fun.
Plus my ward has a free meal every third sunday, sports night every tuesday and enrichment at least once a month. Go to the activities you think will be fun adn even those that could be interesting. YOu'll enjoy it.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 10:26 pm
while the church building isn't that far away from me, it still takes between 15 to 30 minutes depending on what day it is, as I live in a big city.
When I first went to Singles Ward, I was REALLY uncomfortable. I was the first, really, of the group that I had grown up with, to try it. I felt kind of secluded, because it's completely different from family wards. You can hear a pin drop in a sacrament meeting, but hardly be able to wind your ways through the halls afterwards ( our wards meet in the institute building here).
Don't pressure yourself TOO much to get to activities when transportation and time is such an issue. I don't go to most of my wards activities, mostly because I go to FHE with my own family most of the time. That and the fact that I am incredibly busy.... hence my few little posts every week....
I made friends with others over time... alot of them were friends that were friends with my other friends (wha? That's not confusing is it rofl ) That I met after they came to Singles Ward.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 1:22 am
I hated my singles ward, everyone was "clickish" and "stand offish" If you didn't go to every activity it was like you had commited a sin.
Then I got married and moved into a "university married" ward. Everyone was supposed to be in the "same boat". if you weren't little miss happy then no one wanted anything to do with you, we all just pretended that our lives were "perfection" and everyone was having babbies etc. It all made me want to puke. Sacrament was consisted of the the speakers using as many big vocablualry words as they could possibly fit into thier talks. I hated that entire year.
But then we moved and joined a "normal" ward. You know where you live in a neighborhood and everyone from 100 to 2 years of age goes.
It was the most rewarding expierience of my life.
reliefsociety was fun, and sometimes entertaining. I didn't feel the pressures of having to "fit in" and not everyone had children.
I feel more at home in my ward now than I ever felt in those singles wards or university married wards.
Sorry, it was sort of on topic...
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:16 pm
So its not just me then, thats good to know. I always have trouble adjusting to new people.
as for my interests and hobbies? Well, I'm a big anime fan and love pretty much anything from the high-pressure blood splatter action ones to the cutesy frilly magical girl ones. The ones I will not and can not get into are the shounen ai ones. yeah....
I'm very sarcastic and have an odd sence of humor. an example of this would be the last time I was in relief society with my mom and they were talking about a lunch get-together. the woman in charge was explaining that no kids were allowed, so they should try to find sitters or friends to watch them. I then added "or leave them in the car with a bottle of water and the window cracked."
there was a moment of silence and then they moved on.
I can't help what I say. my mind says FUNNY and kicks the words out of my mouth befor I even realise I said it out loud...
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:05 am
I find that the weekday activities are more fun and social than sacrament and sunday school. People in my ward are much more open and there is the opportunity to be social without feeling guilty about discussing that one time in your favorite anime when the guy was blown into a bazillion pieces and the blood was... The way I found out who was also into anime was when I wore a gaming T-shirt to an activity, I think there was also an anime pin or 2 on my purse. I found other people with similar interests just by joining in a conversation about a book I once read- it eventually led to what other books people liked and I mentioned manga. To my surprise another person in the group started a side conversation with me about manga and anime! As for your humor, hopefully someone in your ward will understand and think you're funny! (I think you are! very sarcastic- but thats not always a bad thing) -> suggestions without story <- Jump into conversations! whats the worst that could happen, people think you're weird? Add hints to your wardrobe to what your interests are. Attend non-Sunday activities!!! The people who attend those activities are usually the ones who actually want to be there and are usually more social. If your ward is click-ish, maybe you could find other loners like yourself who probably rush right to sunday school without socializing at all and make your own cool people click! 8D
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 1:34 pm
I don't like singles wards, because I think that people only go to them so they can get themselves married or something like that. I don't think people go, so they can go to church, but for the completely wrong reasons
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Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:56 pm
Jigoku_Angel So its not just me then, thats good to know. I always have trouble adjusting to new people. as for my interests and hobbies? Well, I'm a big anime fan and love pretty much anything from the high-pressure blood splatter action ones to the cutesy frilly magical girl ones. The ones I will not and can not get into are the shounen ai ones. yeah.... I'm very sarcastic and have an odd sence of humor. an example of this would be the last time I was in relief society with my mom and they were talking about a lunch get-together. the woman in charge was explaining that no kids were allowed, so they should try to find sitters or friends to watch them. I then added "or leave them in the car with a bottle of water and the window cracked." there was a moment of silence and then they moved on. I can't help what I say. my mind says FUNNY and kicks the words out of my mouth befor I even realise I said it out loud... *smnk* Actually, that was funny. How about this. Move to my area adn go to my ward. In my ward, my group reigns supreem in sarcasm. We're kinda the 'girls who don't care' club and we have alot of fun. Desert ridge ward, boulder creek stake, mesa, AJ guilbert area. Much fun.
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 7:14 pm
Glimare, I dun wanna go all the way to Mesa! though, most of my extended family does live there...
Out ward changed to an earlier time last week, and since my brother and I hadn't gone the weeks befor (power outage, Otakon, folks outta town so went to family ward w/ lil sibs) we had no it had happened. Hopefully tommorrow we will go to the right ward and I will try some of these suggestions.
by the by Gilmare, do you go to AniZona? Unfortunately, its on Easter weekend every year, but my family has gone to all of them so far...
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:04 am
Yup. I've been a zoner for a good... oh... 15 years?
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 2:12 pm
Glimare Yup. I've been a zoner for a good... oh... 15 years? 0_o 15? This was only the conventions 3rd year... do you cosplay? do you do events? we might have seen eachother
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 5:34 pm
Jigoku_Angel Glimare Yup. I've been a zoner for a good... oh... 15 years? 0_o 15? This was only the conventions 3rd year... do you cosplay? do you do events? we might have seen eachother LOL!! no, fraid not. there's this thing called driving I haven't quite mastered yet, adn we always have problems with cars at my house. ninja Plus, I'm no good with costumes. My next halloween one is an ansamble of things I already have. I've never been to a real convention, sadly. crying
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 7:39 pm
Glimare Jigoku_Angel Glimare Yup. I've been a zoner for a good... oh... 15 years? 0_o 15? This was only the conventions 3rd year... do you cosplay? do you do events? we might have seen eachother LOL!! no, fraid not. there's this thing called driving I haven't quite mastered yet, adn we always have problems with cars at my house. ninja Plus, I'm no good with costumes. My next halloween one is an ansamble of things I already have. I've never been to a real convention, sadly. crying yes, driving is quite tricky. ninja you should try to go next year. I want to see guild people for realzies.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:29 pm
Jigoku_Angel Glimare Jigoku_Angel Glimare Yup. I've been a zoner for a good... oh... 15 years? 0_o 15? This was only the conventions 3rd year... do you cosplay? do you do events? we might have seen eachother LOL!! no, fraid not. there's this thing called driving I haven't quite mastered yet, adn we always have problems with cars at my house. ninja Plus, I'm no good with costumes. My next halloween one is an ansamble of things I already have. I've never been to a real convention, sadly. crying yes, driving is quite tricky. ninja you should try to go next year. I want to see guild people for realzies. Should, but probably won't. I'm so busy now... real life is catching up with me....
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