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 Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:30 pm
Things like, pulling out her chair, picking up, the bill, opening the card door. Why are these expected by society? What does it really prove? Can't a woman pick up the check if she says, "Hey! Lets go out to dinner!" Wouldn't that be right? It wasn't your idea, you may have been planning to make her a delicious dinner, but you have to pick up the bill.
Do you think guys should do the things expected for them to do?
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Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:38 pm
o_O
My parents have always thaught me that the most polite thing to do is if it was your idea to go out, then it would be more polite for you to pay for the bill.
Though the most fair thing would be both paying. You both went out together and had dinner together, pay up. XD
I've never seen where the man ALWAYS pays the bill in this society. I think the world doesn't really think about it or use that "polite rule" as much anymore. (At least around here anyways. o-o) My dad just happens to pay because they both use credit cards that are for the same account so no matter who pays, it doesn't matter. It comes out of the same account at the bank.~ :3
I don't see what's so wrong about picking a girl up for something. D: It's just a nice thing to do I guess. If she asked you nicely and you agreed, don't complain? I'm sure the girlfriend would pick up her boyfriend for things if he asked and she agreed to. Of even if the guy volunteers to pick her up, then he shouldn't complain.
I honestly don't like the opening the car door thing. It makes women look lazy. XD Same with pulling out her chair. It's just too much fancy politeness it makes me wanna puke. xP If I had a boyfriend who happened to hold the car door or pull out my chair for me, I would think he's being a sweetheart. But if he didn't, then hey it's not the end of the world. surprised
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Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:38 pm
Well, normally the female pays if she was the one asking the male out to dinner, or at least that's what goes on here.
The male is expected to treat their woman like a queen, if they really meant something to them.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:02 am
It's just the polite thing to do, I guess...but if it were me I'd perfer if a guy didn't do that >.< So I guess it varies from woman to woman.
Not only that, woman are emotional, sensative, bitches so it's best to get on their good side. Haha, I am a woman-I would know.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:21 am
It's not like in the old days where women were considered frail and helpless.
Women and men can do pretty much the same things.
So, I think if a girl asks you out on a date, she should pay.
I, personally, can open a car door and pull out my chair on my own. xD
If a girl asks you to go somewhere with her, she should pick you up.
It's only fair to pay for the meal or the movie or whatever if you're the one to ask the other out.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 2:39 pm
I've never had a boyfriend... crying
But if I did, I don't think I'd allow him to do those nice things to me... xD
When I go out to lunch with my guy friends, we all split the bill. Sometimes I don't have any money on me, but that's ok. I just pay for lunch next time. I think that's the only time where I'd allow somebody to pay for lunch for me, if I could pay for it next time...
As far as holding open doors, I try to hold the doors open for everybody when I'm working at the library... Even if I've got a whole big cart of books, I'll hold the door open... xD
So I think it's safe to say I can open my own door...
The only time where I think it would be necessary for a guy to open a door, is if he didn't he would basically allow it to close in my face. But then I'd get mad at a woman if she did that too...
Sometimes when I'm at the library and I have a BIG pile of books in my arms, someone will kinda freak out and be all like, "OH! Lemme help you with that!" and take some of the books away... But then I just go back and get some more, because I carry huge stacks of books all the time... rofl
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 5:31 pm
Well, some would say that it's a male oriented society. But I've been taught that it's just the polite thing to do. Someone asks you to go to lunch with them, either they say something about it, or you both pay the bill. It's as simple as that. rolleyes
But when it comes down to it, there really isn't much that we can do. It's just been polite since the dawn of man ))minus the clubbing on the head((. And if you think about it, back in the day America was a male dominated society. So i think that those rules have just been passed down and have become Rules of Thumb for all men. Way back when, women never asked men out on a date. Therefore, men always paid the bill. Why? Because it was polite. Which still holds true today. And society has evolved from that time. Women ask men out, men ask women out. So therefore, you ask the other one out, be sure you didn't leave your wallet in your other pants. Or skirt. Whichever you so choose. wink
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:57 am
I Am TEH Adrie
It's not like in the old days where women were considered frail and helpless.
Women and men can do pretty much the same things.
So, I think if a girl asks you out on a date, she should pay.
I, personally, can open a car door and pull out my chair on my own. xD
If a girl asks you to go somewhere with her, she should pick you up.
It's only fair to pay for the meal or the movie or whatever if you're the one to ask the other out.
I totally agree if you can't afford it don't ask, that's how it is here
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:46 pm
I Am TEH Adrie
It's not like in the old days where women were considered frail and helpless.
Women and men can do pretty much the same things.
So, I think if a girl asks you out on a date, she should pay.
I, personally, can open a car door and pull out my chair on my own. xD
If a girl asks you to go somewhere with her, she should pick you up.
It's only fair to pay for the meal or the movie or whatever if you're the one to ask the other out.
its not frail and helpless, its chivalry.
being polite and generous to a woman/girl because you'd want someone to treat the one you care for the same way.
i'm not anti-femanist I beleive in birthcontrol, equal pay, and voting rights but there is something our society has truly lost.
A woman is the one that 'generally' stays home and raises the kids. they can have one of the single most important careers in the world as wife and mother.
that said.
Women deserve due respect if they so desire, nothing gets under my skin more then when a guy is simply trying to be polite and the girl through's a fit about her 'rights as a woman' and can take care of herself.
for me at least it is a big turn off if she wont at least except my help with things. its not a power thing or a hand out. its being curtous and a sign of respect for the person your with.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:08 pm
wash_away I Am TEH Adrie
It's not like in the old days where women were considered frail and helpless.
Women and men can do pretty much the same things.
So, I think if a girl asks you out on a date, she should pay.
I, personally, can open a car door and pull out my chair on my own. xD
If a girl asks you to go somewhere with her, she should pick you up.
It's only fair to pay for the meal or the movie or whatever if you're the one to ask the other out.
its not frail and helpless, its chivalry.
being polite and generous to a woman/girl because you'd want someone to treat the one you care for the same way.
i'm not anti-femanist I beleive in birthcontrol, equal pay, and voting rights but there is something our society has truly lost.
A woman is the one that 'generally' stays home and raises the kids. they can have one of the single most important careers in the world as wife and mother.
that said.
Women deserve due respect if they so desire, nothing gets under my skin more then when a guy is simply trying to be polite and the girl through's a fit about her 'rights as a woman' and can take care of herself.
for me at least it is a big turn off if she wont at least except my help with things. its not a power thing or a hand out. its being curtous and a sign of respect for the person your with.
Very well said. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 9:28 pm
I think it's basically culture.
Very few cultures have a history of a matriarchy. Some African and Asian nomads many years ago I know had a similar type society, but it's just thought to be the "way it is" you know. Even in religion,
Adam was made first
Muhammad, a male, led his people to righteousness
Jesus, also a male, led his people
Moses led his people
Ra led his people
Zeus led his people
Buddha led his people
It goes on forever and ever
In the last couple decades thousands of year old countries have just had their first female president in the last two or three decades. Some have yet to.
*shrug* Feminists try to help and come off as crazy. It's all perception.
Some women still believe they need a man to carry them off into the sunset because of society.
It's not that we're weak. It's just that we percieve ourselves, innately, not to be as equal as males. Like, how many women would look for a construction worker job? Not many because it's thought as a man's job. But, if it makes you feel better, throughout my life I'll try to equal the playing fields *wink* One person at a time may get the job done.^___~
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:21 pm
I can honestly say I've never had a woman ask me to do any of those things, even though I have done all of them on one occasion or another. Why, you ask? I guess it would in part from the way we are brought up... Most decent fathers will teach their sons that women are to be treated well, not because they are frail and delicate, but because it is the proper thing to do (Politenss for the most part). Also, most guy would like to see the woman they're with, happy.
Also, guys, think about this... Women go through a lot worse stuff than us... Child birth for example... *Cringe*... Least we could do is save them the hassle of pushing in a chair.
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:02 am
AniMangaKun I can honestly say I've never had a woman ask me to do any of those things, even though I have done all of them on one occasion or another. Why, you ask? I guess it would in part from the way we are brought up... Most decent fathers will teach their sons that women are to be treated well, not because they are frail and delicate, but because it is the proper thing to do (Politenss for the most part). Also, most guy would like to see the woman they're with, happy.
Also, guys, think about this... Women go through a lot worse stuff than us... Child birth for example... *Cringe*... Least we could do is save them the hassle of pushing in a chair. totally.... i don't think i could stand pushing a watermelon out of my body through a very small hole.... true skin expands...but stilll yiiiikes..... sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:05 am
I think a man should be respected as a gentleman for that rather than be expected to do those sorts of things.
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