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 Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 7:47 pm
 THE SASUKE X SAKURA CRACK THREADOh yes. We went there. scream I thought we needed a thread to commend our loonyness. I know that each and every one of you is capable of crack, considering our guild is full of absolute loons. And here we are. The crack thead. It is here to lighten up the seriousness that fandom can grow to. Fandom's not supposed to be a drag, yo. Post and discuss your crack theories here! Or if you're borrowing them, credit the creator, please. To start us all off, we have this theory by REMEDI/IIA. Credit to HER. Remedi THE TRUTH: The Conspiracy
Chapter 343, AKA: Sakura Tries To Feed Naruto Ramen But Kakashi And Sai Don't ROLL NaruSaku, Ya Dig?!
So, Iia thinks that Sai and Kakashi just happened to be passing by when they saw Sakura and Naruto about to have a little "OMGTRULUV!1eleventypotato!1" moment. So Sai whips out his brand new Razor phone, and calls up Sasuke.
Sasuke: What?
Sai: Dickless and the ha....Sakura ((He doesn't want to get Sasuke mad. The last time he did that, Sasuke made him crap his pants.)) are at Ichiraku. She's going to feed him! And look how she's scooting closer to hi-
Sasuke: You and Kakashi. Interrupt now! *hangs up*
So Sai, knowing it's best to listen to Uchiha, runs to the stand and sits down, and attempts to shove ramen up Naruto's FACE, saying that "Friends help each other!"
Kakashi, following Sai, enters, sits right in between Sakura and Naruto, and HE feeds Naruto, like a good mommy should. <3
Naruto and Sakura may be dissapointed, but at least they're safe. (and they aren't in on the conspiracy)
Now back at Sound, Sasuke is on the fritz. Sakura is making moves on Naruto (And Sasuke is like, "FTW Drugs is she on?!"), and Sasuke needs to get out of Sound and into Konoha ASAP. Because Sakura is his key to a restored clan, and he's not about to lose HIS woman to the DOBE.
So, he takes the first initiative. While walking on a journey to the cave-less bathroom (Hey, Ninja have to piss, too), he hears Orochimaru coughing up a storm, and Kabuto leaves the room.
The perfect opporitune! He can attack Oro, kill Oro, and go home to win Sakura back! (And all this while he's planning to maul Sai and Kakashi if they aren't doing their job.)
So he summons he mighty chakra light sabers, and attacks.
Chapter 355, AKA: Let's Play Hide and Seek But This Roof Is Base and BTW Akatsuki and Sasuke are Really Good At This Game, so If You Find Them Tell Us So We Can Totally PWNZ Their Asses for Once!
See, Kakashi knew EXACTLY where Sasuke was, right? [Keeping touch on those cell phones, y'know.] So Sasuke was like, "Okay, lyke, so I'm about to fight Itachi or something, soooo let me see Sakura, 'kay?" Then he's like, "Karin, GTFO." and so meanwhile, Kakashi sends a bird to tell Sasuke he's sending Sakura his way, and the bird tells Juugo. So Juugo will get the info to Sasuke, and Juugo will stalk Naruto and Hinata to make sure they don't head Sasuke's way because it's their ALONE TIME. Meanwhile Sasuke's just waiting there like, "I look so badass in my cloak and Sakura's going to think I am HAWT. >D"
The cloaks aren't because it rained. It's because when Sasuke and Sakura met in the reunion, she attacked him, so obviously he was like, "Crap. She must not dig my threads. MUST GO GET BADASS CLOTHES FROM GRANNY CAT!" Link to the theoryDISCUSS, MY PRETTIES.And remember. No-Name-Kun loves you.
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Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 8:48 pm
LMAO
rofl rofl rofl rofl
Here's my *crack*
"Okay Suigetsu, I do not like you, I love Sasuke so stop getting in my way!!!" she said all badass and bitchy. So now, she was about to peep while Sasuke was bathing but instead of finding Sasuke's chicken-styled hair, she finds him with a new style. And since it was all misty, she didn't know who it really was. But she was like "Okay, this is the usual time he bathes so this MUST be him! I get to see Sasuke-kun's love handles!!" and giggles and continues to peep.
Then she hears slight music and she was all 'OMG SASUKE SINGS!' she said in her head.
After a few minutes of cursing since her hair was getting frizzy because of the mist and her glasses were beginning to fog up, she decided to STRIKE!!!
"SASUKE-KUN I LOVE YOU!!!" and pounces him.
*cough PG RATED*
Few minutes later.....
"WTF, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE SUIGETSU!"
"WHAT THE HELL, WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU F*bleep*ING RAPED ME WOMAN!!!" he screamed.
"OMG, I DIDN'T USE PROTECTION!!!! I'VE BEEN TAINTED BY THE MAN-WHORE!!!!"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MAN-WHORE!!" he screamed while Karin was sulking because she lost her innocence to the 'man-whore'
"SASUKE-KUUUN, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!! TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR YOU, I WILL NAME MY CHILD SASUKE!!!!"
"NO F*bleep*ING WAY ARE WE GOING TO NAME OUR CHILD SASUKE! I'D RATHER NAME OUR CHILD SUIKA!"
"SUIKA? ARE YOU CRAZY? WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR CHILD A WATERMELON!!!"
Sound was never the same again.
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Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 11:07 pm
Lol. I love both cracks. But, of course, who can forget the... SASUKEGAMEBOYTHEORY. by Iia in the same thread as the Crack Conspiracy theory. xD Iia GASP. Sasuke's got a Game Boy! xD Everyone is out gathering info, and he's playing games. Sasuke, you lazy turd! >:0 No. He has a DS. And Sakura does too. >> They will find each other on pictochat. XD "SASUKE-KUN?!" "Sakura." "Omg." "..." "WHEN I FIND YOU I AM GOING KICK YOUR a**. D:<" "..." "I'm on your trail, too! Disconnecting won't do a thing, Sasuke-kun!"
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Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:51 pm
PeacefulLight Lol. I love both cracks. But, of course, who can forget the... SASUKEGAMEBOYTHEORY. by Iia in the same thread as the Crack Conspiracy theory. xD Iia GASP. Sasuke's got a Game Boy! xD Everyone is out gathering info, and he's playing games. Sasuke, you lazy turd! >:0 No. He has a DS. And Sakura does too. >> They will find each other on pictochat. XD "SASUKE-KUN?!" "Sakura." "Omg." "..." "WHEN I FIND YOU I AM GOING KICK YOUR a**. D:<" "..." "I'm on your trail, too! Disconnecting won't do a thing, Sasuke-kun!"
"Sasuke?"
"Sakura!?"
"Sasuke, I'm bathing right now and I don't have wifi!"
"ummm..."
*looks behind her to see sasuke peeping*"Pervert!!!!!"
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 3:41 am
HOMAIGASH. CRACK IS LURVE.
Too bad my imagination of looney looney-ness isn't working right now. xp
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:44 am
Miyu-senpai HOMAIGASH. CRACK IS LURVE. Too bad my imagination of looney looney-ness isn't working right now. xp
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 2:53 pm
I am so LUVING this! x3 x3 heart FallenAngel_Sachiko LMAO
rofl rofl rofl rofl
Here's my *crack*
"Okay Suigetsu, I do not like you, I love Sasuke so stop getting in my way!!!" she said all badass and bitchy. So now, she was about to peep while Sasuke was bathing but instead of finding Sasuke's chicken-styled hair, she finds him with a new style. And since it was all misty, she didn't know who it really was. But she was like "Okay, this is the usual time he bathes so this MUST be him! I get to see Sasuke-kun's love handles!!" and giggles and continues to peep.
Then she hears slight music and she was all 'OMG SASUKE SINGS!' she said in her head.
After a few minutes of cursing since her hair was getting frizzy because of the mist and her glasses were beginning to fog up, she decided to STRIKE!!!
"SASUKE-KUN I LOVE YOU!!!" and pounces him.
*cough PG RATED*
Few minutes later.....
"WTF, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE SUIGETSU!"
"WHAT THE HELL, WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU F*bleep*ING RAPED ME WOMAN!!!" he screamed.
"OMG, I DIDN'T USE PROTECTION!!!! I'VE BEEN TAINTED BY THE MAN-WHORE!!!!"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MAN-WHORE!!" he screamed while Karin was sulking because she lost her innocence to the 'man-whore'
"SASUKE-KUUUN, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!! TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR YOU, I WILL NAME MY CHILD SASUKE!!!!"
"NO F*bleep*ING WAY ARE WE GOING TO NAME OUR CHILD SASUKE! I'D RATHER NAME OUR CHILD SUIKA!"
"SUIKA? ARE YOU CRAZY? WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR CHILD A WATERMELON!!!"
Sound was never the same again.
As I am not good at crack...I'll just wait and read rofl
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 3:25 pm
Miyu-senpai HOMAIGASH. CRACK IS LURVE. Too bad my imagination of looney looney-ness isn't working right now. xp Mine isn't either. >.<
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:46 pm
ZimGangster Miyu-senpai HOMAIGASH. CRACK IS LURVE. Too bad my imagination of looney looney-ness isn't working right now. xp Mine isn't either. >.< Mine never works. X_X I probably can do something, but I'm scared to try for some reason. O_O
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:32 pm
Remedi The cloaks aren't because it rained. It's because when Sasuke and Sakura met in the reunion, she attacked him, so obviously he was like, "Crap. She must not dig my threads. MUST GO GET BADASS CLOTHES FROM GRANNY CAT!"
OMFG!
That must be why he's wearing a black top now!
You, Emei, are friggin PSYCHIC!
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:05 pm
C r a y o l a Remedi The cloaks aren't because it rained. It's because when Sasuke and Sakura met in the reunion, she attacked him, so obviously he was like, "Crap. She must not dig my threads. MUST GO GET BADASS CLOTHES FROM GRANNY CAT!"
OMFG!
That must be why he's wearing a black top now!
You, Emei, are friggin PSYCHIC!
LMAO. That's freaking awesome.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:26 pm
This is from a chapter I wrote in my fanfiction.
I'm not sure if it's THAT cracky, but it gets crackier in the end.
--
They set up camp after a long and harsh walk. Man, Sakura was both sick AND tired. ALl day long, Suigetsu was complaining about how slow Sakura was walking. And with Sasuke mixing in...it just didn't help at all. Sakura refused to talk while they ate, but Karin was sad. She was hoping for a decent conversation.
"So...why is Sakura here agai-"
"She's our medical help and last resort." Sasuke instantly cut in. He didn't want anybody talking about Sakura.
"Woah woah woah..what do you mean, last resort!?" Sakura finally talked again. She didn't want to butt in, but that snapped her.
"Listen," Sasuke turned to Sakura and sneered, "it means that you are to stay out of our way in a battle. You are only here for when any of us need medical attention. And by last resort, I mean you can only fight when there's an absolute emergency."
"So that's all I am to you?! Some little tag-alonger that hands you free band-aids!? I am getting sick and tired of this s**t!"
"Sakura, stop being a brat. You're still weak, and I'm not going to let you get in our way."
"That's because you've never seen me fight! When I was risking my a** out there, you either weren't there, or you were unconscious!"
"Sakura..."
"And guess what? I have to be the one to protect you AND drag your a** to the hospital when you got into another rediculous fight because of your damn ego!"
"Sakura."
"Don't think for a second that I have done NOTHING for nearly three years-"
"SAKURA!"
"Damn it, shut up!" Suigetsu growled. "Jeez, I don't know whether to be annoyed by you yelling or-"
"STAY OUT OF THIS!" Sakura's inner self screamed out from inside her and gave Suigetsu a death glare, who immediately shut his mouth and froze.
Turning back to Sasuke, she harshly poked him in the chest. "And I've had about enough of you and your bitching. You think you're so cool without any emotions and your 'power from Mr. Orochipedophile' s**t?"
That was quite a low blow to Sasuke, and he immediately glared. Grabbing Sakura, he dragged her while she screeched and tried to hit. But Sasuke ignored her and simply threw her in the lake.
"s**t, Sasuke!" Suigetsu had to keep himself from snickering, and was immediately nudged in the arm by Karin. "Ow!"
Sakura gasped for air as she raised her head to reach the surface. The lake was shallow, so Sakura was basically laying down in it. She looked at herself and stared up at Sasuke, who smirked.
"Damn..." Juugo whispered, "Sasuke wasn't kidding about Sakura using genjustu on her body.."
"Wow...I'm jealous." Karin whispered.
"Sakura...are you crying?" Sasuke walked to Sakura, who stood up. Yes, she seemed to started breathing like she was crying, and her face had tears.
"If I kiss you, will you feel better?" Sasuke teased Sakura, attempting to grab Sakura's hair and pulled her face towards him. Sakura squinted her eyes to make it look like it was mutual. But the minute their lips touched, Sakura immediately raised her knee rapidly and hit his groins. He let his guard down when he kissed Sakura.
Sasuke immediately broke away and groaned loudly, instantly splashing into the lake himself.
Suigetsu, Karun, and Juugo all looked at Sakura, who placed her hands on her hips and tilted them to the side. "Now THAT'S how I plant one."
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:09 am
*zombie glomps you all*
ILY.
O 3O *slapped*
My crack brain is...stuck in the toilet.
>>;
Not sure it'll be back anytime soon D':
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 2:49 am
- B o m b s a u c e - *zombie glomps you all*
ILY.
O 3O *slapped*
My crack brain is...stuck in the toilet.
>>;
Not sure it'll be back anytime soon D': -Pulls brain out of toilet- Work dammit! -smack smack smack- gonk
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 8:28 am
- B o m b s a u c e - *zombie glomps you all*
ILY.
O 3O *slapped*
My crack brain is...stuck in the toilet.
>>;
Not sure it'll be back anytime soon D': D: *performs CPR* LIIIIVE. D<
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