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 Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:08 pm
That was just... on crack.
I can't even explain it.
Each chapter they find themselves in a new form.
This is turning into a parody of all other stories out there. You're even adding in the typical original characters. For some reason when I heard Keera I thought of Kiara from the Lion King 2.
I love how whitty everyone is though, the beginning of that was the best. With the Zexion clones, and him wanting to be a hero. That was cute.
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Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 9:25 pm
That was amusin'.
Great job.
-is a litttle tired-
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Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:35 pm
The slumbering soon came to a halt as the crack of dawn started to seep through the curtains and land upon everyone’s sleeping faces. A few yawns and whimpers went throughout the lot as the tender loving care of sleep was drifting away from them ever so slowly.
Larxene was the first to actually wake up from her tuckered slumber and shrugged off last night’s blundering of smack down with pink pillows. There had been some brutal whiplash going on then and she didn’t want to be part of it. Therefore she had the most amount of sleep.
Slowly she rose up and stared down at her fellow comrades. Something was bugging her. Probably what Xemnas had said last night. That being a female was a bad thing and was affecting them. Nothing was wrong with being a female! In fact, there was something wrong with being a MALE was the problem.
The bitches.
With a scornful grunt she went to the bathroom not exactly sure how she was going to work her…er…contraption.
And noticed in the mirror that she wasn’t some buff hunk of steamy love. She was Larxene. Normal Larxene with her sharp all-seeing eyes and blonde hair slicked perfectly. A few blinking moments went on and she grabbed her boobs to make sure they weren’t just socks that Xigbar had stuffed down her shirt when she was sleeping.
They were real.
Everything was real.
In fact, it was so real it was scaring her to the point she screamed. Was it actually because she was scared? No, she just wanted to scream. It wasn’t a good morning if she didn’t get to use her own lung power to make the others pee themselves.
The group of men started to sit up and move around as they heard the screaming wondering what cat had just committed suicide in their bathroom.
Saix was the first to actually get up to see what was wrong.
“What, did you fall in the toilet or something?”
What a nice thing to say.
Larxene walked over to him and pointed at her chest, “Look! I’m a girl again!”
For some reason she felt like she had lost all of her modesty when she turned into a man, even if it was for less than a day. Saix opened one of his squinting eyes to stare since he was given permission, and then looked at himself. He was him.
“Huh…that’s odd.”
Larxene nodded, “Isn’t it?”
“I feel like…something’s missing though…”
“Yeah, I had that feeling, too.”
Zexion was next to come over and listened in on the conversation, he actually didn’t care so much. He wanted to piss. But to say that out loud just seemed to embarrass him, so he subtly moved Larxene and Saix out of his way, and locked the door.
Larxene ignored this intention but Saix glared, “Man, talk about pushy.”
Xigbar, who woke up prettier than he looked during the day, yawned politely and sat up, “Oh I just had the cutest dream ever!”
Saix smiled, “Really? What was it about?”
Xigbar giggled, “It was about lollipops and candy drops and Luxord and I had a duel over who could engulf the most gummi bears in one sitting.”
Saix nodded, “That is cute!”
Larxene didn’t get the hint of sudden paranoia that these men weren’t acting like men and that she wasn’t acting like a girl. In fact, she hadn’t noticed a thing.
“You know what’s cute? Nothing about you, whore.”
Xigbar pouted, “Sorry for speaking, you meanie.”
As the others slowly began to awaken Larxene scratched herself and sat down on the couch like that of a typical disgusting man. She looked around for where her clothes had gone since she wanted to change and decided that her pajamas were good enough to walk out in public in.
Zexion came out primp and proper and began to slowly arouse the others. It wasn’t long for the lot of men to be sitting there stretching like school girls and trying to wipe off last night’s makeup.
Xigbar pointed at Xemnas, “Man…your lipstick is all over…did you make out with someone?”
Xemnas, who hadn’t even remembered what had happened in the past, just shrugged, “I don’t feel good.”
It was then that Vexen popped out of ******** and laughed maniacally as he held a potion in his hands.
“Good morning, beauties…oh, and Xigbar-“ Xigbar pouted and cried a little, “I’ve finally produced the correct potion, I’m sure of it!!”
Xemnas yawned, “Oh goodie.”
“But it needs to cool down, so everyone you should get dressed and eat some breakfast before I hand it around, hmm?”
They all agreed that it was a good idea, and soon were downstairs eating breakfast that Vexen had prepared during his spare time of cleaning and creating potions.
“I didn’t know he could multi-task,” Luxord muttered under his breath as he shoved his mouth full of toast.
Xigbar stuck his pinky out as he took a gentle sip of his tea, “Whatever works, dear.”
Not to bore anyone with long and utterly unnecessary details of how everyone ate, but we all knew that they were eating way too fragile and delicate for being men.
Interesting? I hope so.
And then they went back upstairs after a very long meal since they took bites so small that it would starve an ant.
With another hour spent with getting ready and looking nice everyone gathered in a circle knowing the potion would be cooled by now.
“Who wants to take the first sip?”
Xemnas raised his hand obviously wanting to fix whatever was wrong with him, then again he wasn’t sure what was wrong.
Vexen smiled, “Alright, honey, here’s the potion! It should bring back your masculinity any minute now.”
Xemnas paused, “My what?”
Everyone felt dumbfounded.
“Your masculinity. It’s gone. You see, last night we were our opposite gender. After that wore off I happened to notice that we were still lacking something. After I had cleaned the piano and fixed the upholstery it came to my conclusion that we had lost our masculinity. And for our dear Larxene she has lost her femininity. Therefore I have created a potion to fix that affect so we won’t be so…fluffy and cutesy. While Larxene will lose her buff, nonchalant character.”
Everyone smiled, “Sounds wonderful!”
Smile…smile…smiling…
Marluxia grumbled, “What a waste of my lifetime. I feel perfectly fine.”
Vexen turned and nodded at Marluxia, “That’s because you used to be gay.”
“So??”
“So now you’re not.”
“Hmm.”
Larxene grunted, “How many votes say we don’t let Marluxia take this potion?”
A few hands were raised, Marluxia grumbled, “Whatever. I didn’t want to participate in this ‘re-awakening’ anyway.”
Xemnas hissed, “Gimme the potion!!!”
Was he whining? Yes…he was.
Larxene laughed, “You’re such a little girl. Vexen, let him have it before he ruins his reputation anymore.”
Xemnas pouted a little bit at Larxene’s words and gratefully took the potion. As he took a sip he gave an awful face and put it down, “Oh disgusting.”
Saix raised an eyebrow, “How’s it taste?”
“You drink it!”
Saix took a small swig and put it down almost puking at the taste. As the two gagged the others watched fretfully on the sidelines wondering if it worked.
Xemnas looked over at Saix curiously, “Hmm…do you feel normal?”
Saix stared at the Superior, “I don’t know…do..you?”
Xemnas turned, lowering his hand from his mouth, “I actually kind of feel…kinky…”
Saix nodded, “I bet you do, hot stuff.”
The whole Organization’s mouths dropped as Xemnas and Saix attacked each other in a make out fest that would please so many fangirls it’s not even funny.
Zexion shook his head, “Should we be letting them do that??”
Marluxia gave a grossed out face, “No, it’s gross.”
Larxene nodded, “I’m repulsed.”
Xaldin stared, “Wow.”
Xigbar nodded, “I’ve never felt this turned on in my life.”
Vexen stared at his mixture, “Damn…another failure. Back to the drawing board it seems.”
He once again disappeared into the place that never was.
Marluxia and Larxene, obviously being the only ones with a sense about them, grabbed Saix and Xemnas and tore them apart with great effort.
Saix pouted, “NO I LOVE HIM!”
“I LOVE YOU MORE!”
“Oh god…we should just…make love…”
“Right now?”
“Yeessss…”
Marluxia snarled, “You IDIOTS knock it off! You’re going to be embarrassed once this wears off!”
Saix frowned, “Embarrassed about what?”
Xemnas nodded, “Yeah really…love is a beautiful thing!”
Larxene shook her head, “You two aren’t gay.”
Marluxia nodded, “The true you is….a lot less skanky.”
Xemnas shoved Marluxia off and grabbed onto Saix lustfully, “Oh, but this IS the true me!!”
Larxene glared, “I’m going to beat the true you until the fake one comes back, then!”
Xemnas pouted as he clung to Saix, “You’re being so cruel. I didn’t know you were such a homophobe!”
Saix nodded, “We’re just expressing our love in a positive way.”
Marluxia groaned, “You’re sick little whores is what you are!”
Xemnas and Saix looked at each other before going back to making love to each other. With a low growl Larxene shook her head. It wasn’t worth it.
“Let’s just let them ******** around. It’ll either wear off or Vexen might fix it…might..”
Marluxia sat down with Larxene on the couch, “I’m starting to hate Vexen. He can’t do anything right.”
Larxene nodded, “We should punch him.”
“Kick him.”
“Throw him out the window.”
“Rape his a**.”
Larxene blinked, “What?”
“Not literally, Larxene.”
“Oh.”
And so they continued to sit there and watch as Xemnas and Saix had their way with each other, the other members swooning and sighing at each romantic crap that came out of their mouths. Somewhere along an hour or two later it had gotten really, really boring.
More boring than watching paint dry, which can actually be an invigorating sport if you’re Demyx. But that wasn’t the issue here, it was Marluxia and Larxene wishing they could commit suicide because they were watching gay porn live with a bunch of men that were secretly women.
“We should go do something while that potion is being made,” Marluxia mumbled twiddling his thumbs in boredom.
Larxene looked at him, “We could go do something dirty.”
He paused.
“I totally meant that in the wrong way, too.”
And so off they went to have ‘fun’.
And as Xemnas and Saix went into the climatic part of their love making they both stopped and stared at each other. Pulling back from their kissing and thought this all over. With some deep consideration Saix had to ask, “Were we…just making out?”
Xemnas, instead of answering like a good little boy, went and puked in the garbage can. The group of men all pouted and whined wishing it would have gotten to the better part. Suddenly Vexen appeared once again out of the non-existent place he had been occupying and smiled, “I think I’ve created the right thing!”
Xemnas looked up from his garbage can, “Are you sure?”
He once again lost his breakfast within the garbage. Saix gave an offended look to Xemnas, but waited for Vexen to explain what he created this time.
“I’m positive. Would you like to try, Xemnas?”
Xemnas grumbled and held out his hand and wiped his mouth with the other. He took a small swig and waited.
He then turned into a zebra.
Saix felt a hurling sensation suddenly come over him as Xigbar exclaimed, “Look! Saix just made out with a zebra! Haha!”
And he soon was using Xemnas’ barf bucket as his own.
The zebra, though normally not a type of animal that chatted much, began to talk.
“GOD DAMMIT, VEXEN, NEVER AGAIN ARE YOU ALLOWED TO MAKE POTIONS FOR ME! EVER!!”
Vexen frowned, “Why?”
“Because THIS is why!”
“Well…what did you want?”
“I want to be FIXED and normal so we can rule the world, I don’t want to be THIS!”
Vexen snorted, “All you have to do is DIE and we’d be Nobodies with powers again…”
Demyx sniffled, “But I hate being dead.”
“Shut up, imbecile.”
Xemnas made some odd zebra-like noise and everyone went silent besides Marluxia and Larxene who were in the other room doing things not even God would ever think of creating.
Ahem.
“Listen, I’m going to make the potion this time, alright?”
Vexen shrugged, “Fine.”
Xemnas clomped over to the room that never was and started to flip through books trying his best to read even though his eyes were on different sides of his head.
“GOD DAMN THE WORLD FOR CURSING ME LIKE THIS!!!”
Saix, who came in after Xemnas had cursed his existence for the millionth time, decided he’d help out.
“It says add some aluminum hydroxide to the mixture.”
“Where the hell is that?”
Saix picked up a bottle, “I assume it’s this.”
“Dump it in!”
And so they created a magical potion that glowed an eerie green and smelled of elderberries. Xemnas took a swig with some help and turned back to normal.
“I think…I’m good.”
“Are you sure?”
“STOP being concerned and drink the potion!!!”
Saix took a small swig and waited.
He then got his normal expression upon his face and gloomily looked at Xemnas, “I think this is it.”
Xemnas came out with Saix and noticed the others were having a makeover party. Some had curlers in their hair, a few were trying on makeup, and the rest were painting toes and fingernails all the while giggling. He gave a disgusted noise and brandished the potion, “Drink this quickly, men.”
As it was passed around Marluxia and Larxene came out of their secretive room slightly roughed up, “What’s going on?”
“We’ve got the cure.”
“Oh lovely!”
Finally the Organization was complete. The balls were all there, the muscles, the smarts, the stupid, and everything between a-z had finally become complete. They could destroy worlds now, they could set small towns aflame. They could probably even rape small and innocent children if they really wanted to. It didn’t matter, because right now they had just completed a very long and tedious task.
They were evil, they were bad….and they were finally ready to take the world over.
Well, until Larxene started to scream again.
Lexaeus grumbled, “Now what…”
“I just slept with Marluxia!!! OH GOD!!!”
They all looked at Marluxia who frowned, “Who me?”
Saix grunted, “No, the other Marluxia. Yes, you.”
Marluxia shrugged, “She suggested it! Besides, I was tired of watching you two make out over there…”
Xemnas felt his superiority drop dramatically. Not cool.
“Whatever.”
Even Saix looked slightly miffed at the thought of it, “I hope she gets pregnant just so you can regret saying that.”
Marluxia frowned, “That’s a rude thing to say-“
And then Larxene jumped in and slugged Saix, “HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!!”
A sudden murder fest of raging beast and hormonal girl went on.
And the others turned to ignore that it was happening.
Xemnas decided it’d be a good time to do a dramatic speech, “Now that we’re all complete-“
Axel whimpered, “Besides that I’m missing my elbow-“
“Shut up, we don’t care. We’re going to break into units and attack large places, all returning to the same base. First we need to designate an area where no one can get inside-“
Roxas smiled, “Like a tree house!!”
Demyx giggled, “No silly, it has to be bigger than that.”
Xemnas frowned, “Right. I want all of you to pick someone to be with-“
Everyone stared at each other as if mentally figuring out who to get stuck with.
“But I need one person to be with Roxas AND Demyx.”
Axel raised his arm, “Could that not be me? I’m slightly wounded, here.”
Xemnas rolled his eyes, “Stop being such a baby. Saix, you go with Roxas and Demyx.”
Saix, who was half dead on the floor trying to regain his muscles so he could obliterate Larxene, glared, “But I hate children-“
Roxas and Demyx squealed, “YAY SAIX!!!”
The blue-haired fiend shut up. Whatever. Let the kids have their fun.
“Now that you’re in units I want each of you to find a place that you can destroy. Remember, think BIG areas.”
Xigbar smiled, “Like…Iowa?”
“Well no…not an entire state…I mean busy places…like…a street in Chicago or something…”
Luxord nodded, “But we could totally take Iowa out. I mean, do you think they’d struggle?”
Xemnas sighed, “Whatever, you want to then do it.”
They both high-fived, they couldn’t wait to obliterate Iowa.
Marluxia raised his hand, “Where exactly is a place you can’t get into?”
Xigbar smiled, “Larxene. Oh wait, you’ve already penetrated that border.”
Larxene pulled out another can of whoop a** and destroyed Xigbar within seconds leaving his corpse to rot next to Saix’.
Xemnas sighed, “Let’s just arrive back here, we can decide a good place later.”
Everyone shrugged, whatever made the guy happy. They all vanished to go destroy the planet leaving Axel and Xemnas at the base.
“Are you ready?”
“I want to think of a good place to go to.”
“….Tokyo?”
Axel scratched his chin, “Well…I want a place that I can steal a souvenir at that is in English.”
Xemnas internally cursed Axel, “Why would you want a souvenir?”
“Because Roxas will want one, duh.”
“And do you always get things for Roxas?”
“Well yeah!”
“…..You’re such a little b***h it isn’t even funny.”
Axel gave an offended look, “Whatever, just take me someplace.”
Xemnas opened a portal, “After you.”
They arrived in a very busy mall with people all over inside. Axel awed at the immensity it was, and jumped up and down excitedly, quickly bending over in agony as he offset his poor elbow.
“God…I am never getting shot again…”
Xemnas rolled his eyes, “If you weren’t stupid you wouldn’t have that problem.”
“I don’t see how being stupid has anything to do with dodging bullets.”
“Whatever, let’s just find a large crowd and start our massacre.”
Axel grabbed onto Xemnas’ arm and pointed, “Look! They’ve got a Disney store!! Can we go there first, please Xemnas? Roxas loves Disney!!”
Xemnas groaned, “Do you do his laundry, too?”
“…Sometimes…”
“….Let’s just go…”
“Yay!”
Axel dragged Xemnas inside and made squeals of pleasure as he saw the Disney Store filled with all sorts of toys that Roxas would enjoy. He swept through the area searching for the perfect thing when he stopped and pointed at one of the toys.
“Xemnas…what’s that?”
Xemnas stared, “An action figure I do believe.”
“Yeah…but…look who it is…”
Xemnas picked it up to get a better look and frowned, “Is this…you?”
Axel stared at the figure, “God…I didn’t know my face looked that ridiculous…”
“I didn’t think you were this skinny, either.”
“Dude, there’s a Roxas one, too!!”
Xemnas put Axel’s action figure down and stared at the one of Roxas, “He looks angsty…”
“Remember when he went through that emo phase? Man…he was such a little b***h.”
“Yeah, it’s a good thing you’re the b***h now, I’d hate to see you abuse Roxas and all…”
Axel glared as he set the figure down, “Whatever. But I wonder why we’re in a DISNEY store.”
“I want to know why these even exist…”
Axel nodded, “Yeah…wouldn’t it be weird if it was because of our bout with Sora that we’re suddenly famous and don’t actually exist, but were created by some video game thing that was somehow tied into Disney?”
“Don’t be silly, Axel, Sora was never famous. He was just some dirtball kid that had issues with life and he murdered us because he thought it was right. That’s why he was in jail when we were reincarnated.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot.”
“Now hurry up and steal something so we can get back to murdering people.”
A girl overheard their conversation and came walking up to them, she seemed slightly surprised at seeing these two.
“Nice cosplay outfits! May I help you with anything?”
Axel and Xemnas turned to stare at a short girl with short, black hair. A tinge of blue could be slightly seen in the light.
Axel looked at Xemnas, “I’ll handle her.” He swiftly came up to her and gave a curt bow, “Good evening my benevolent being. My name’s Axel, and I’ve come here to buy Roxas a gift before I go back to massacring the world. Got any suggestions?”
She stared at him like he was mental. Axel started to sweat slightly, was he really that scary looking? That doll must have had a bad impression on anyone who saw it.
“We’ve…got shiny things in the back…”
“He loves shiny things! How’d you know?”
“….Um….I…guessed..”
She turned to show them the way not exactly sure if she was dreaming this or it was actually happening. Axel stared at the stuff and started to poke about, obviously fascinated at how flashy everything was. Xemnas, on the other hand, was bored out of his mind.
“Just pick something, it isn’t like you’re getting married to him.”
“Shut up, he likes specific things…”
“Whatever…”
Axel finally picked up something and went over to the cash register, buying it. Xemnas wondered why he even wasted his money there, but then again remembered that the people there HAD been staring at them throughout the duration of the time, stealing something would be slightly difficult. As soon as they left Axel gave a smirk, “That was a cute girl, helping us out and all. Don’t see that much respect these days.”
“She’s paid to do that, idiot.”
“Whatever, she was cute.”
“Oh please. Look, let’s go over there near the food-“
“Why, you hungry?”
“No, look how many people are lined up there! Let’s just….massacre them.”
“Oh. Should we use elements or should we take our time and do weapon combat?”
Xemnas looked the place over. Not that many security guards. The place was easy to leave by portal….
“I say we make them suffer with weapons.”
“I like your style.”
Axel shoved the bag into his cloak and pulled out his chakrams silently cursing his hurt arm, “I might be a tad messy, this arm is not in good condition.”
“The more blood the better.”
And as they started to impend doom upon the screaming and frightened crowds….there was two people not so far away in Iowa trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
“Luxord, I think we’re lost.”
“I don’t think we’re lost, Xiggy, I just think we took a wrong turn.”
“How the hell did we end up in a cornfield?”
“I don’t know. Look, let’s ask someone for directions.”
“I bet they don’t have electricity out here…”
Oh, but they were wrong. As they finally got onto the road a few cars drove by blaring their horns at them in anger for blocking the road. Finally someone stopped, “I do hope you know it’s illegal to hitchhike.”
Luxord smiled, “Hey! They don’t have accents!”
The woman scowled at him, “Excuse me?”
Xigbar laughed, “Man…she’s a pissy one.”
She glared, “Did you two need something before I run you over?”
Xigbar nodded, “Yeah! Directions.”
“Where to?”
“Anywhere really.”
She contemplated it and sighed, “I can give you a ride to the closest city if you want.”
Luxord nodded, “That’d be much appreciated, mate.”
They got in and she started to drive, “Where are you two from?”
Luxord looked at Xigbar and smiled, “Vegas.”
Xigbar nodded, “San Francisco.”
She laughed, “And what brings you here?”
Luxord shrugged, “Felt like making a trip.”
Her eyes slid onto them darkly, “That’s quite a big trip you decided to take. Did you fly here or are you with some traveling circus?”
Xigbar, not getting the insult, just smiled, “Oh yeah, we flew.”
“At which airport?”
Luxord tried to remember where exactly an airport was at in Iowa, “Uh…Des Moines?”
She snorted, “The s’s are silent, dear.”
Luxord blinked, “What?”
“It’s DEH MOINE, you’re obviously a newcomer.”
They both exchanged looks before nodding, no point in arguing with this snippy woman.
Xigbar leaned forward from the backseat, “Hey…where exactly are we heading?”
“Ames.”
“Ames?”
“Yes, it’s a city. Have you two ever looked at a map before?”
Luxord shrugged, “We forgot to get one at the airport.”
“You two are smart ones, aren’t ya? It’s in the glove department.”
Luxord opened it up and pulled out an Iowa map, opening it up to see where they were at. After some searching he found Ames and smiled, “Hey! We’re here!”
She snorted, “You’re almost there. Another 15 minutes and we’ll be in Ames. Why are you two visiting Iowa anyway?”
Xigbar smiled, “To watch the corn grow.”
Her eyes gave him an icy stare, she didn’t even need to watch the road, “Cute joke.”
Though, she was using sarcasm. Xigbar could already tell he wasn’t enjoying this road trip. Maybe he should just lay off the stereotypes of Iowa…
As the drive went on she looked at them critically, “So what are you two…in a cult or something?”
Luxord gave her an incredulous look, “What makes you say that?”
“The cloaks are tipping it off.”
“Oh…well…no we’re in a group…”
“Hmm, and what’s this group do?”
Xigbar stared at the beautiful wide expanses of fields out the window, “We used to fight an’ stuff but currently we’re on the low. Been getting old ya know.”
She sighed, “Age does that to you.”
Luxord shrugged, “Well..it hasn’t exactly stopped us before. I think it was because we were so busy trying to make a living that we had forgotten all about what we really needed to do.”
“What are your careers?”
Luxord smiled, “I used to be a lawyer, graduated from Dale.”
Xigbar thought this over. Yeah, Luxord used to be smart. And then something went wrong and Luxord started to drink like a sailor with Xigbar, wooing over women and other relations.
“And you?”
Xigbar shrugged, “I’ve been a lot of things. I’m a dropout from high school.”
Man, he sounded smart.
She shrugged, “Happens to the best I suppose.”
Luxord nodded, “Xigbar, here, is a very well-loving man! You could never meet anyone else like him.”
The woman gave a slight smirk, “I could believe that.”
Xigbar just got a big ol’ goofy grin on his face thinking that Luxord was just buttering him up. Of course, everyone normally did that to make him feel better about himself.
As they had arrived in Ames the woman finally got serious with them, “Alright, boys, where you need to be dropped off at?”
Luxord shrugged, “Tell me where a busy place is at and we’ll go there.”
“Well, I can drop you off at the mall.”
“Sounds good, ma’am.”
And as those two were driven to impend doom upon a few Iowans….Saix was having a hell of a time keeping up with Roxas and Demyx.
“Come on, Saix, let’s go on the roller coaster again!!!”
“Yeah come on, isn’t this fun?”
“Okay…I brought you here in Florida to kill people…not…to kill ourselves…”
“Oh please, DisneyWorld is way too cool to get killed in. Oh! I want to buy Axel a souvenir!”
Saix grumbled, “What are you, his b***h our something?”
“No, it’ll make him feel guilty and he’ll bend to my every whim if I buy him a gift!”
Saix sighed, “Right….”
Demyx pointed, “Let’s go over there! I think they’ve got some spiffy shops so you can get something Axel likes.”
They went over, Saix grumbling all the way. He HATED DisneyWorld with a passion. He hated children. He just…hated life in general. Why did he want to live again?
And as Saix and the two kids were wandering about trying to decide what to buy, there were two very angry people on Jerry Springer…
“He slept with me!! Just…freaking…got to me like I’m free or something!”
“Dude…you’re the one that suggested it, I don’t see why you’re making it a big deal.”
“YOU’RE GAY!”
“At the time I wasn’t!”
“If I end up pregnant I’m going to dump the kid on you!”
Jerry stepped into the fray, “Whoa now…so…Marluxia…are you going to take care of the child if she’s pregnant?”
Marluxia shrugged, “I don’t know…I didn’t think we were allowed to have kids.”
“What do you mean?”
“Where we live our group isn’t much on having kids around.”
Larxene nodded, “It’s quite an interesting group…”
Jerry nodded, “Well…do explain.”
Marluxia sighed, “Our leader, Xemnas, he’s a Nazi.”
The crowd gasped.
“He says we’re not allowed to do certain things, and he’s always talking about taking over the world when really he just wants some love!”
Larxene interjected, “And sometimes he demands the craziest things from us! Once he thought I was high or something and made me go to the doctors to take a freaking blood test and everything just to make sure I wasn’t up to no good! And then he expects me to kiss his a** and s**t as if he never did anything wrong!”
Marluxia sniffled, “And once he told me my roses were hideous!”
Jerry nodded, “I see…well…what if I told you we have a special guest here that would love to have a talk with you?”
Both of them blinked, who the hell would be on Jerry Springer with them?
Zexion came out of nowhere looking completely confused, “Where am I??”
Marluxia waved, “You’re on Jerry Springer!”
Zexion sat down confused, “Why?”
Marluxia shrugged, “The topic is ‘He Slept With Me And Now He’s Gay’.”
Zexion blinked, “And I’m involved in this…how?”
Marluxia grabbed onto him, “You can be my boyfriend!!”
Larxene gasped, “YOU b*****d! You slept with me KNOWING you had a man friend on the side!!! How could you??”
Marluxia shrugged, “I don’t know, it just felt right at the time.”
The crowd booed Marluxia’s answer. The pink haired fiend shrugged and continued to hold onto Zexion. Number VI, though, was utterly lost. Why was he even participating in this?
Jerry smiled, “We’ve also got another guest!”
Vexen was shoved out in the area and he stared around before taking his seat, “What’s going on?”
Larxene sighed, “Marluxia slept with me and I think I could be pregnant, and now he’s whoring on Zexion.”
Vexen thought this over, “And this involves me?”
Marluxia nodded, “Yup, because you’re Larxene’s previous boyfriend who’s going to be utterly pissed that she’s a whore and has been sleeping around.”
Vexen blinked, “Oh.”
A nice little fight broke out with pulling hair, clothes ripping, and curse words were flown across the stage between the four. The body guards were out there pulling them away and dragging them across chairs and tables trying their best to stop their fighting, but also letting them hurt each other like they didn’t care.
Somewhere in there Zexion stopped, “Whoa whoa…um…aren’t we supposed to be killing people, not ourselves?”
Marluxia wiped the blood from his mouth, “He’s right.”
Larxene felt her fingers seem to zap with lightning; her smirk spread across her face, “Then let’s give them a show.”
And so they started to attack the poor crowd.
Somewhere in New York Lexaeus and Xaldin were walking around staring at the buildings and crowds of people. They could easily demolish the whole place and vanish without anyone really noticing. Xaldin looked over at his companion, “Where should we start?”
Lexaeus pointed in front of him. The beautiful statue of liberty stood there with her arm high in the air holding the eerie flame. Xaldin nodded, “Good choice.”
And they got down to business destroying the hell out of the whole city.
With that we leave off…knowing that they were bound to destroy many things and make the news.
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:55 am
Haha that was rather uh... special.
Are you going to make a cameo in the next chapter? Since after all... they Xigbar and Luxord are trying to destroy your state.
Haha meeting Luxord and Xigbar together would be freaking sweet.
I loved my little appearance too! That was awesome.
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:41 am
^^
I don't know if I will. I guess it depends. Considering people on FanFic. don't exactly know WHAT I am >>;;
I could just...use a friend or something...
Or create my personality in someone that is an old lady. I don't know, I'll think of something.
And I'm glad you liked your part XDDD All I could remember was you like...hating on Disney and I just felt like I had to add it in.
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:13 pm
Now we left off with the utter destruction of the world going on, or at least the United States. A few were having bicker fits, several were having fun, and the rest were demolishing cities like it was nothing.
First we’ll start out with our dear Xemnas and Axel.
As the mall had been utterly destroyed and the tall structure started to collapse, the two created a portal and disappeared outside to see the beautiful view. The mall twisted and collapsed on its side, metal stuck out here and there while dead bodies littered every section possible. Blood soaked the area thoroughly.
Axel rubbed his elbow, “Damn…I didn’t expect that to be so much fun!!”
Xemnas shrugged, “We haven’t really done that for…years.”
When had been the last time they destroyed a place for the hell of it? When did they ever think that they’d actually try and take over the world?
It was so weird…now that they were actually doing it. There was that throb in Xemnas’ heart that told him to continue, to keep killing. He loved the feeling, it made his entire being feel inhuman.
The girl from the Disney Store came over to them, a slight bruise on one cheek, “Holy HELL did you see that??”
Axel looked at her, a grateful smile spread across his face. It was that cute nice girl that helped them out.
“Of course we saw it.”
“I’m surprised I got out alive…aw man…no one is going to believe me when I tell them about this…”
Xemnas laughed, “It’ll be all over the news, how can no one believe you?”
She shook her head, “No no, not about the mall being destroyed. No one is going to believe that I met you two here! Your cosplays are amazing!! Where’s my camera…I need a picture…”
Xemnas and Axel exchanged looks, “That is unnecessary-“
She growled, “I SAID I’m going to take a picture!”
They both retracted at how quick she was with her tongue. Without moving she took a picture and she giggled as she put the camera away, “That was adorable, now everyone will love to see it!”
Xemnas coughed slightly, “Um…not to intrude on your business or anything, but who exactly are you going to show those pictures?”
“Just some friends.”
“Some?”
“Yeah, deal with it. It isn’t like you killed someone.”
She paused and glared, “Or did you?”
Axel shook his head, “Pssh, of course not!”
He then groaned slightly, “Ouch…my elbow.”
The girl frowned, “You should get to a hospital that looks bad.”
Axel shook his head, “Nah…it’s only a small wound.”
She grabbed his arm and twisted it, “I SAID-“
He screamed like a little girl, “UNCLE!! UNCLE!!”
She let go, “Rawr.”
Xemnas backed up slightly from her and grabbed onto Axel’s good arm, “Right….let’s get to the hospital, Axel.”
She then came forward, “I can get my friend to drive you there!”
They both shook their heads, “No no, that isn’t necessary-“
She glared again, “I’m offering some help!”
Axel laughed nervously, “Well…ah…we don’t need it…so…goodbye!”
Xemnas created a portal and pulled Axel through before she could say anything.
The girl stood there, mouth gapping, “Holy s**t!”
The two returned to Marluxia’s house and relaxed on the couch. A few quick breaths were passed before Axel looked at Xemnas, “Dude….I’m…scared.”
“Scared?”
“That girl…I feel like…she’s following us.”
“Impossible, she’s only human.”
“WE’RE only human, too!”
“Except we came back from the dead.”
“Yeah…true…”
Axel relaxed into Xemnas not even noticing he had done it. His arm cradled his hurt elbow, “I’m suffering…”
“I’d take you somewhere to get that fixed, but…we’re wanted.”
Axel nodded, “It kills though…”
“Maybe it’ll heal soon?”
“How long is soon?”
Xemnas shrugged, “Months?”
Axel whined, “Can’t you make a potion??”
Xemnas blinked. He had forgotten about that. It would make Axel stop crying like a little girl if he did make him something.
“Well…I suppose I can try. But don’t be surprised if it doesn’t turn out.”
Axel shrugged painfully, “Whatever works.”
Xemnas went into the room that never was and started to flip through the books with a tired expression. This was tedious work, and he didn’t appreciate it at all. Vexen used to know what he was doing, but it seemed he was either too senile or he just liked to torture the hell out of everyone who existed.
As he found a potion he discovered Axel had came in and wrapped his unwounded arm around his waist. He blinked a few times and glared at Axel, “Is there something wrong with you?”
Axel had paled slightly, his elbow had left blood drops from the couch up to them, and he had a loopy look on.
“Axel?”
“God you’re handsome.”
“Have…you been drinking…or is it just the blood loss?”
“Mmmm…blooooood.”
Xemnas went back to what he was doing, crunching up a few thinks with a crucible and mortar. He dumped the powder into the boiling liquid and watched it poof slightly.
“Just hold on, Axel, I’m almost done.”
Not really, he had just started. But Axel didn’t need to know that.
The redhead laughed and rubbed Xemnas’ ribcage, “That’s alright, sweetheart, I can wait all night for you.”
Xemnas blinked.
He coughed and grabbed some aluminum from the shelf and put it in, “I think you should sit down, Axel, you’re getting light headed.”
“My hair’s changing color??”
“Yes, hurry! Go sit before you’re blonde!!”
Axel moved to leave and turned back around, hand rested on Xemnas’ rump, “Nice one, Xemnas, but I am not falling for that.”
Xemnas glared and plucked Axel’s hair from his head before he shoved it into the boiling flask, “Whatever.”
Axel rubbed his hair with a pout and leaned into Xemnas, “You’re cute.”
Xemnas snorted. Yes, he snorted. He couldn’t help it.
“I beg to differ, child.”
“Child? That’s a nice nickname, but I’m older than 18, babe.”
“Well I’m not a toddler, so don’t call me babe.”
“Rawr.”
“Rawr yourself.”
“That’s cute.”
“No, it’s not.”
Xemnas pushed the smile away from his face as he added the finishing touches to the potion and watched it turn into a swirling pink liquid. He turned the Bunsen burner off and let it cool, “Why don’t you go sit down for a little bit?”
“Only if you’re slipping into something sexy for me.”
“Of course, that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
Axel giggled and left the room, blood still dripping from his elbow.
Xemnas snorted and noticed that he was now covered in blood. That damn loser. He pulled off the cloak not wanting to get infected with some type of Axel-disease. That boy could attract a lot of things if he wanted to.
He poured the liquid into a glass and sniffed it before giving a repulsed face and went out seeing Axel half-way naked on the couch.
“I thought I’d get ready for the fun,” Axel gave a perverted laugh as he spoke.
Xemnas shook his head and sat down next to Axel, “Yeah. Well before we can do anything I want you to drink all of this.”
“Why?”
“Because…it’s…to make you really really horny. And I already had mine.”
“Sweet!”
Axel drank like a sailor. Xemnas counted on his watch and then noticed Axel’s elbow was healing miraculously.
Good.
Axel then stared at his mostly naked body and grabbed his clothes, screaming slightly, “XEMNAS!! STOP STRIPPING ME!!”
Xemnas glared, “You did that yourself.”
Axel blinked, “Oh…”
“Now get your pants on, we should watch the news.”
“Why?”
“Because we just destroyed a mall of course, it’ll be all over the news.”
“Even here?”
“Yes! A lot of people died you idiot.”
“Hmmph.”
Those two started to watch tv, but way in Iowa in a fun little city called Ames, Xigbar and Luxord were staring at the mall in awe.
“It’s tiny.”
The girl scoffed, “It isn’t that small.”
“I could leave a load in a toilet bigger than this!”
She winced, “Please discontinue speaking before I take a knife to your tongue.”
Xigbar blinked at her, “You have a knife? I thought Iowans only had rocks to hit people with.”
She did a roundhouse kick in his face, and watched Xigbar go flying into the Hot Topic store. She brushed her hands and glared at Luxord, “Go fetch, b***h.”
Luxord whimpered and went in finding Xigbar with scary goth people. They were playing with his long hair and saying things like ‘a green stripe would be cute’ and ‘want to touch my n****e rings?’
Yes, it was that disturbing.
Luxord coughed as he helped Xigbar stand up and he turned to leave, “Let’s get out of here-“
Xigbar nodded, “Which store would be the easiest to attack?”
Luxord shrugged and they were soon pushed into The Buckle. Now at first it looked pretty harmless with buff guys at the counter just talking with a bunch of slutty ho’s wooing over them as they tried on tight pants in the stalls.
Xigbar poked at the clothes, “It’s trendy in here.”
Luxord nodded, “Who would have thought?”
But they dare not say anymore jokes about Iowa because they could sense that angry woman slinking about ready to show them a thing or two if she really wanted to.
A slutty girl walked up with platinum blonde hair and raccoon eyes with a small nose piercing. She was wearing tight clothes and had jewelry all over her.
“Can I help you boys?”
She then gave Xigbar an incredulous look, “Then again maybe not. You look a tad old for being a trendy boy.”
Xigbar grunted, “I happen to be extremely young. Gray hair runs in the family.”
Luxord nodded, “As does the eyepatch.”
She giggled, “You two are cute, what are you doin’ here today?”
Luxord smiled, “We’re acquiring a body count. It’s a game within our group.”
She smiled, “Really? What kind of bodies?”
Xigbar, without thinking, decided to answer, “Dead ones of course.”
She blinked and laughed again, “Cute joke. Really, though, what kind of a game is this? A body count?”
Luxord decided to answer this time, “Of all the gorgeous babes we see. Whoever gets the highest number gets to vacation there for a whole week.”
She giggled, “Well how high is your number right now?”
Xigbar scratched his head, “One.”
She frowned, “One?”
Luxord nodded, “I see a nice juicy a** in front of me.”
She giggled, “Oh?”
Xigbar laughed, “Not really. I was thinking about that hot mom over there.”
They all turned to see a large woman carrying three crying babies. She had mousy brown hair with a glare on her face and was dressed down. Not to mention she looked like she was expecting another baby.
They gapped.
They stared at Xigbar.
And then shook their heads.
“Excuse my friend for his peculiar taste, he just…hasn’t got things straight in his mind.”
“I see that!”
Xigbar snorted, “Shuddap, ho’bag, she’s one hot momma.”
The girl glared now, icy as the first girl that had brought them here. Luxord and Xigbar could feel their souls starting to seep from their bodies. Xigbar flailed trying to shove it back in his body, “Mine! Mine!!”
She jabbed him hard in the face with her elbow, and Xigbar went stumbling out and landed on his face. The ‘hot momma’ glared at him and walked off in a huffy.
Luxord grabbed Xigbar’s arm, “Dude…maybe we should just get this over with…”
Xigbar nodded, “You’re right, dude, if we don’t start shootin’ ‘em up we’re goin’ to get nowhere!”
Luxord blinked, “How many apostrophes did you just use??”
But there was no time for that. They both pulled out their weapons and looked at each other before jumping into action and started to destroy the mall with their sleek and tricky attacks.
At one point Xigbar stopped and went over to a small candy shop and got some suckers before bustling back over to help Luxord.
“What the hell, bloke, why are you buying candy?”
Xigbar shrugged, “It’s grape flavored…my favorite…”
Luxord sighed as he stabbed a pair of die into someone’s eyes, “Well can’t you eat it later?”
Xigbar smacked his lips around the sucker, “No?”
“Ugh, you’re worthless.”
“Your mom is worthless.”
“I resent that!”
“Your mom does, too.”
They glared at each other and went back to fighting. Xigbar pulled out his guns and started shooting like crazy. Things seemed to stop at some point, then go quick, and Xigbar was bouncing off the walls. Literally.
He was all over the place! At one point half of his body wound up on the ceiling and the rest was still floating in the middle of the room shooting at people.
“Luxord…is my bottom half in the toilet? I have to go badly.”
Luxord looked around not seeing the rest of Xigbar’s body, “I don’t know mate. Kick around the place, see if you find anything familiar.”
Xigbar’s legs kicked the beams, “I think I found the stalls!!”
“Then go?”
“I’m scared that someone might see me!”
“Just GO.”
Xigbar let go of his guns for a minute to reach into space to undo his pants, “It’s a bit brisk in this bathroom.”
Luxord slapped his face as he made people vanish with his cards, “You’re such a little girl.”
Of course everyone soon found out that Xigbar wasn’t a little girl. No, not at all. Luxord and Xigbar both stiffened as they felt something hit them. Water-like. But not water.
Luxord glared at Xigbar, “YOU IDIOT! STOP PISSING ON US!!”
“I can’t stop!”
Luxord moved out of the way, “You disgust me.”
Xigbar zipped up his pants and returned his body back to a normal state, “Don’t worry, urine washes out of clothes-“
“I’m not speaking to you.”
They fought in silence after that, and soon returned to Marluxia’s house. Both reeked horribly.
Xemnas covered his nose and gagged, “Oh God, what have you two been doing?”
“Xigbar had issues…that I don’t want to discuss,” Luxord grumbled as he went to the bathroom area to get cleaned.
Xigbar laughed, “He’s such a growly-butt.”
Axel kept his eyes on the news trying to ignore the smell, “Where did you guys’ attack?”
Xigbar smiled, “Iowa.”
“Where at?”
“Uh….I forgot.”
Xemnas sighed and knocked on the bathroom door, “Where did you two go in Iowa?”
Luxord yelled back, “AMES!!”
Xemnas blinked, “Ames?”
Xigbar nodded, “Oh yeah, it was fun. This angry girl drove us to the mall and bitched at how stupid I was. It was interesting.”
Xemnas shook his head and sat down on the couch, glaring up at Xigbar, “God you smell horrible. Go take a shower downstairs.”
Xigbar laughed, “If Marluxia’s mom is down there I totally will.”
Axel shuddered, “I think I just hurled…”
But that wasn’t important that Axel was losing what was left inside his lean and tiny body. What mattered was that miles away Saix was still being tortured by Demyx and Roxas. They had gone on their 50th roller coaster and got free ice cream, though Saix couldn’t even eat it.
“You two amaze me.”
Demyx inhaled his ice cream and started on Saix’ ice cream hungrily, “How?”
“We get on a ride, you scream like a little girl, then you get off and say ‘let’s do it again’ as if you enjoy your own vocal squeals.”
Roxas smiled, “I think it sounds cute.”
Saix glared miserably, “I think you’re insane. And stop saying things are cute, you’ve said that at least 100 times already.”
Roxas giggled, “Sorry.”
Demyx laughed, “That was CUTE!”
Saix glared, “NO IT WASN’T!!”
They both were taken aback at his sudden explosion of anger. They shrugged and went back to giggling and making fun of Saix while trying to figure out what ride to go onto next.
“Hey, Saix, should we try the one where it rips your body in half, or the one that turns it inside out?”
Saix groaned in agony, “I don’t care.”
Demyx jumped up and down, “I think we should do the one that turns us inside out!!”
Roxas nodded, “Yeah! I thought so, too!!”
Saix frowned at their happy faces glowing in his eyes. It made him want to bite someone. Or at least just shred someone’s mouth to death so they couldn’t smile.
“You just ate!”
“Hey, stop being a mom and start acting like a man. Come on!”
Saix glared but didn’t respond as he felt the two hands grab onto his. He followed them like a little babysitter with the two leading him quickly to a deadly looking ride that didn’t have any cutesy animals on it or anything Disney related. The warning signs basically screamed, “You’re going to die, have fun!” and other things like, “Pregnant women are advised to leave now.”
Saix blinked, “I’m pregnant, oh look I shouldn’t go on the ride.”
Demyx giggled and grabbed onto Saix, “Did I get you pregnant? How far in the pregnancy are you?”
Saix felt miserable, “Three months.”
Roxas giggled, “That’s cute-“
Saix snarled, “NO IT ISN’T!”
Demyx laughed, “No wonder he’s so moody.”
Saix scoffed, “I was joking. Why aren’t we doing what we’re SUPPOSED to be doing?”
Roxas laughed, “Because Xemnas will NEVER know!”
Saix groaned, “Great.”
The line slowly inched forward and they went into the dark depths of nothingness, where they heard blood curdling screams come from the rides. Blood oozed from above them and Saix wiped it out of his hair angrily as they continued onward. Someone behind them poked Saix’ in the side.
“Where you guy’s from? You got interesting costumes!”
Saix stared at him, “We’re from the dark of nothingness. We seemingly don’t exist. And these aren’t costumes.”
A girl next to the guy giggled, “Oh my gosh! They’re from that new game Kingdom Hearts! Have you seen the studio they set up here in Florida about it? Awesome game!”
Saix blinked. He didn’t even know what that meant. Kingdom Hearts was what they fawned over, not…a game. Ugh, he hated children. Die die die.
Roxas giggled and gave the girl a cute little wave before seeing they were next. The coaster was a bloody red and the people were pushing out corpses in them and wiping up some of the blood in already drenched rags. Saix blinked and stared at the two boys as they were still happy to get on the ride.
It was when they sat down and were clamped in with harnesses, buckles, and chains that it finally got to them.
Roxas and Demyx both grabbed onto Saix as the thing clicked into a ready position.
“Have fun,” a fat man said as he clicked the ‘destroy’ button.
Roxas and Demyx screamed and screamed while Saix sat there. The ride zoomed off and kept going faster and faster, then it went through a loop and turned, bellowing down into the stomach of some sort of monster at a gazillion miles an hour. Saix was utterly bored wondering when the ride was over while the other two screamed until they were crying.
The ride shot up at a 90 degree angle and kept going, through the building into the burning sunlight. Higher and higher and higher until Saix was pretty sure he couldn’t even see the ground. He flinched slightly as Demyx’ nails dug into his skin. They reached the top and saw a sign that said, “And now you die.”
They dropped, a camera flashed, and Saix continued to sit there watching the ground come to them at such force they were definitely going to make a nice mark on the cement. The two boys screamed louder and louder until the thing randomly jerked to the side making Demyx almost fling out of the cart.
With such force they dropped again and watched as a pig was randomly slaughtered in front of them. The blood splattered all over them and everyone gagged slightly at being covered in it.
Then it twisted and turned them upside down and plummeted vertically.
Demyx and Roxas screamed some more while Saix wondered what he should eat for dinner that night.
The cart flipped and landed on some tracks making everyone’s spine snap out of place. They zoomed back around a dangerous curve and back into darkness. The two kids took a breath thinking that was the end, obviously conquering another horrible fear. But it wasn’t.
A clown stood near the end with a blood cream pie in his hand, yellow teeth gnashing at them.
Saix flinched again as Roxas and Demyx both chimed into their loud screaming. If Saix hadn’t known them he would have thought that they were girls.
The pie hit Saix in the face, while water soaked everyone.
The bloody cream was actually cherry cream pie. It wasn’t that bad tasting. Though soaked in water ruined the taste.
They dropped through a pit fall and saw molten lava with angry slaves working away half-naked. They started to attack the cart. Demyx screamed and screamed until his voice no longer could be heard. Roxas had tried to beat them off screaming horrible words at them.
Saix sat there, yawned, and flicked some cream off of his face.
Finally the ride came to an end and the kids were back into their normal dumb stupor.
“Let’s do it again!!!”
Saix sighed, “No.”
Demyx dragged Saix over to a picture booth, “Look!! They got pictures off us!!”
There were exactly 6 pictures that were taken, though they had only noticed one. In all of them Saix’ expression had not changed except when he got a pie in his face. The others showed Demyx and Roxas practically wetting themselves in each picture. In fact, in one Demyx was crying.
“Very humorous.”
Roxas giggled, “Don’t you want to buy one? Or two?”
Demyx chimed in, “Or all of them?”
Saix glared, “No because I don’t have any money on me.”
They both gave him puppy dog eyes, their lower lips twitched. He felt irked, like he was going to punch a puppy.
“Fine, pick one.”
They both giggled and cooed over their favorite one. He paid for it and groaned as it had eaten a nice hole in his wallet.
Whatever, at least they weren’t complaining.
The two jumped around excited that they wanted to go on some kiddie ride. Saix stared as it was one with Bambi and ‘friends’ and…blagh.
“Please don’t make me go on that.”
Roxas smiled, “But you have to!!”
Demyx nodded, “Yeah, we need an adult with us!”
Saix growled, “If you’re under the age of 5!”
Demyx giggled and then once again they did their puppy dog eyes at him. He grumbled, “I hate you.”
They giggled as they dragged him to it. They were situated in a tiny little bunker, all holding onto each other since there was barely any room. The music was happy and bubbly, and the ride moved slower than Saix’ grandma. It had little pictures and cardboard cut-outs moving about all cutesy.
Saix was going to vomit.
He felt Demyx and Roxas relax into him, both were going to doze off at all the kiddie crap.
Saix sighed in agony.
This was like HELL for him.
It went around a corner into a room filled with stars, some shot by and sparkled with smiles and what not.
The two boys gave ‘oohing’ noises while Saix stared onward at the track waiting for it all to end. If he thought about death and destruction he could almost drown out the music.
It was then that Demyx and Roxas started to sing along with it. Saix’ eye twitched. He was going to murder someone. He grabbed their throats to cut their caroling and noticed that it wasn’t Demyx and Roxas anymore. Two dolls were sitting there. He blinked and stood up to see if they had disappeared down the track and hit his head on the low rise bar. He cursed loudly and jumped out angrily.
“DEMYX! ROXAS!!!”
He was going to KILL them when he got his hands on them.
Demyx and Roxas were already back at the house giggling at their evil sabotage on Saix.
“I can’t believe he was dumb enough to fall for that one!!”
Roxas nodded and snorted, “He’s such a dork.”
Xemnas stared at them before giving a very stern look, “What happened to Saix?”
Demyx smiled, “He’s enjoying the Bambi Ride right now.”
Roxas burst into laughter at this and Axel bit his lip knowing how cruel they could be.
Xemnas sighed, “And WHY is he there?”
“I don’t know…because he likes that cute stuff?”
The two boys started to laugh again. Xemnas gave a dirty scowl at them and turned his look at Axel who just shrugged.
“Where did you two go?”
Demyx smiled, “Disney World!!”
Roxas nodded, “It was great we-“
Demyx cut in, “Obliterated everyone!”
“And Saix didn’t help-“
“Yeah he just said he wanted to relive his childhood and told us to leave him alone-“
“So we did.”
Xemnas glared, “You’re lying.”
Roxas shrugged, “Possibly.”
Demyx gave a vicious glare at Xemnas, “But does it matter? At least we made Saix suffer a little. I mean, he did make out with you and all, we thought you’d appreciate it if he was tortured for doing that.”
Xemnas opened his mouth and closed it several times. He wasn’t sure if it had been such a horrible thing that it happened. Well, he didn’t enjoy it either.
“Go find Saix NOW and all three of you get back here.”
Demyx and Roxas groaned as they turned to leave, but Saix was already standing there. They both jumped back and fell to the ground in shock.
“Saix!”
“Y-you’re..uh..here.”
“Hi.”
Saix glared at them, “Give me one reason WHY I shouldn’t kill you.”
Roxas smiled, “I’ll tell Xemnas that you enjoyed making out with him.”
Saix’ glare darkened, “That WON’T stop me from killing you.”
He grabbed them by their collars, but Xemnas stopped him, “Now now…let’s not fight. Roxas, Demyx! You two go downstairs and play. Saix…why don’t you rest or something. You look like you went through hell.”
Saix glared as the two brats escaped their deaths, “I DID.”
And so that dramatic scene continued and what not, but there was something even better and more important going on. Yes, the destruction of the Jerry Springer show.
“Did we seriously just destroy Jerry Springer and his show??” Zexion asked as he cleared some rubble off of his cloak somewhat dismayed at how that happened.
Marluxia, also put off at the result, stared at the sea of blood, “You know…if I was actually white trash I think I would have cared a little more. Oh well! It was fun, cheer up, Zexion.”
Larxene came out of the sea of body guards that were impaled in a corner and she smiled, “HELL that was a thrill! We should do that more often!”
Vexen, who had made frozen treats in the opposite corner, came over and handed them out as he munched away at his own creation, “I wonder if that will be aired on national television. I didn’t do much except impale a few icicles into a man’s esophagus.”
Marluxia combed his hair out of his face, “I hope I didn’t look too bad. I can get really vicious when I’m angry.”
Larxene got close to the camera, sticking her face near the glass, “Is it still running? We never hit this thing.”
Zexion walked over and poked at it until he noticed that it WAS still recording, “Guys, it’s still on…”
Larxene backed away and then gave a beautiful look, “Look out world, here I come!!”
Marluxia laughed before rolling his eyes, “You mean here WE come!”
Vexen scratched his nose, “Weren’t we in the middle of some odd debate about pregnancy?”
Larxene and Marluxia glared at each other before turning their heads away.
Zexion sighed, “Oh please, can’t we just get over this already? So it happened, big whoop…”
Larxene grabbed Zexion by his collar and pulled him up to her face considering he was quite short. The fiery glare swelled down into his bones and he felt at least 50 years of his second life begin to dwindle ever so slightly as her eyes continued to pierce his soul.
“THIS IS MY BODY! YOU WANT A BABY THEN YOU GO THROUGH PREGNANCY!!!”
Zexion flinched as her teeth gnashed at him, a slight shudder ran down his spine. She WOULD try and make him pregnant. Oogh, he was already starting to get sick just thinking about it.
“Okay okay! I wasn’t..thinking about it…sorry…just get an abortion or something-“
Larxene then dropped him, her face went to utter horror, “Oh my gosh, and kill a poor innocent child? No!”
Marluxia watched in the background almost clueless as to why this debate was even happening.
Vexen continued to eat his amazing frozen treat.
Zexion was cowering on the floor thinking she was going to kick him, but instead was surprised that she was getting all defensive over her unborn child.
“Then….keep it?”
“B-but Marluxia RAPED me!”
Marluxia finally stepped in, “I did not! WE agreed to do it together. Difference.”
“There’s a difference when you lose your femininity!”
“And you’re blaming ME for that? Vexen was the moron who created the potion!”
Her eyes went from saddened and repulsed to a sudden surge of deadly anger, “VEXEN!”
Vexen paused as he ate his frosty. He lowered it slightly, sticking his tongue back into his mouth. This continued for at least another few minutes before he dropped the thing and ran for his life. Larxene was soon chasing after him.
Zexion blinked and stared at the two before looking at Marluxia. Hadn’t he said they were…uh…boyfriend and…boyfriend on air? And that tape was still running. Oh Lord, he’d never live this down.
“Maybe we should get back to Xemnas, I’m sure someone is going to show up sooner or later and find this tape.”
Marluxia nodded as he moved his eyes onto Zexion, a smile spread across his face, “This was better than I thought it would be!”
“Um…the fact that you’re a father now?”
“Well we don’t know for CERTAIN. But if I am a father do you know what that means to me?”
“No?”
“My mom will finally get over her stupid ego about grandchildren, probably have a heart attack, and die instantly when she hears the news.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“Of course, I’m the only one alive I’ll get all of her money.”
Zexion shook his head, “You’re sick.”
“You love it.”
And so they finally got back to Marluxia’s house, in which they found the others sitting around watching the news.
“Wow, don’t look so excited,” Marluxia commented.
Saix was on the couch glaring profusely at the television as if it should explode for even being turned on. Xemnas was sitting at the other end with his legs up trying to stay awake, head propped in hand against the armrest. Axel was resting on top of both of them, his head in Saix’ lap. Luxord was on the floor with a pillow propping up his head and the two children were using him as a pillow snoozing softly. Xigbar was hanging from the ceiling eating a cookie intently as he stared at the television.
Saix glared up at Marluxia, “Why don’t YOU suffer like the way I did, then?”
Marluxia gave a curious look, “Suffered?”
Xemnas nodded, “He went to Disney World with the kids. No one was killed.”
Marluxia laughed, “Well that’s adorable. At least the kids had fun, right?”
Saix’ glare told Marluxia that he needed to shove it, but Marluxia ignored this and sat down on the slumbering Axel next to Xemnas. His legs covered Xemnas’ trapping him in to some type of demonic fate that could only make little children cry.
Zexion, deciding that he’d take a risk, sat down next to Saix watching Axel groan slightly before going back into his tired rest. Larxene only glared at the group and walked off in a huge huffy, obviously they had done something wrong. Either that or she didn’t want to sit on Axel. Vexen had wandered off as usual to do who knows what in the place that never was.
Zexion looked at Saix who was still glaring at the television, “So…how long has the news been on?”
“Awhile.”
“Anything interesting?”
“Just stories on everyone destroying the world.”
Zexion nodded, he wondered if their Jerry Springer incident would show up soon. His eyes went over to Marluxia who was giving Xemnas flirty looks. He rolled his eyes and looked back at Saix who still had his stone features on.
“So…you didn’t get to kill anyone?”
He didn’t respond, just winced in a seething anger-type way. Zexion took that as a yes.
“Oh.”
They all fell silent as another breaking news report flashed on. It had nothing to do with Disney World, but the Jerry Springer incident. Saix’ eye twitched but he did not speak. Zexion could tell that he was upset for being tortured.
“Yet again there was an attack that we had not expected. It seems this ‘Organization’ has hit Jerry Springer this time. The producers were running a new show when these killers had snuck on stage and pretended to be participants. Then in a sudden minute they demolished everyone and everything in their path. We have found no survivors as of yet, and the place is still being checked for any possible clues as to where these fiends have gone.”
Xemnas blinked, “Jerry Springer…isn’t that the show where people with issues go on and fight each other?”
Marluxia nodded, “We thought it was a good idea.”
Vexen popped his head out of the place that never was, “It was brilliant. Everyone just ate up our drama and then we killed them!”
Saix sighed.
Zexion shifted in his spot, watching Axel groan a bit more before adding his own bit in the story, “I hope they don’t find that tape.”
Marluxia looked over at him, “Why? They can see how majestic we are in fighting!”
Zexion glared, “Because then they’ll know our names and how we come and go so easily!”
Marluxia scoffed, “They’re humans, if they find out they won’t be able to stop us.”
Xemnas rubbed one eye as he yawned, “He’s right…I don’t think anyone has created an ‘anti-portal’ machine.”
Zexion frowned, “But it could still affect us…”
The others scoffed at him and Zexion fell silent deciding it wasn’t worth arguing over.
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Battery Acid Included Crew
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Battery Acid Included Crew
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:14 pm
And oh so far away, in a place called New York, Xaldin and Lexaeus were destroying the Statue of Liberty as we know it. Her arm came clear off and her flame fell deep within the ocean, bodies flung down and screamed as they were cascaded from their spots. A gusty wind threw them up high and into the body, while rocks flung around impaling their frail frames. At one point a small boy ended up jumping from the ripped off head of the statue, and plummeted into the ocean breaking his spine on impact.
It was horrendous and no one could do anything but run around feebly trying to stop the attacks. The thing was they didn’t know who or where the attackers were.
Xaldin stood solemnly next to Lexaeus as he threw another gust of people at the statue watching blood spatter soak the copper statue. Lexaeus pulled boulders through her legs, and soon the structure began to fall and demolish in its spot.
“I think that’s enough.”
“It’s a pity the ocean had to devour all of the blood and destruction.”
“True. At least they have a lot less to clean up.”
They laughed and disappeared through a dark portal of deadly destructive doom. But of course it led them back to Marluxia’s house.
The two stared as everyone had fallen asleep it seemed. They had taken quite a long time in perfecting and making sure almost anyone near the Statue had been murdered mercilessly.
“What a pack of mules.”
“It’s despicable.”
They both moved toward the downstairs going to grab a nice hot meal that Marluxia’s mother was cooking up. She graciously greeted them with hugs and smiles before she went on a long drawl about how handsome they were.
They sat down and listened quietly as she went over her life story while they ate. The food was delicious because it was cooked in a Southern style dish and could make anyone drool at how mouth watering it was.
“This is a picture of my husband, John!”
She showed them a man that was twice Xaldin’s chest span and arm muscles the size of Lexaeus’. He had a black curly beard that covered up most of his face, and he was wearing something that looked like a lumberjack would wear everyday.
“He was a lumberjack!”
Well that explained everything.
“He used to chop trees like no other. And then…well…we got a divorce. He was too far away and ended up finding a liking to some woman.”
She seethed and the frame of the picture started to crack in her vise grip. She gritted her teeth as one of her eyes started to twitch. But finally she dropped the picture and smiled as everyone’s plates had been emptied.
“Would you like more?”
Xaldin nodded, he had a powerful hunger still in his stomach and the food was too good to pass up. Those other losers didn’t deserve to eat all of it.
She smiled and got up, grabbing the pot of food and started to heave piles on everyone’s plates. Her own plate was covered in a mountainous heap of food before she had set the pot back on the stove top and sat down. Her fork started to shovel into the large mound and she jammed the food into her mouth like there was nothing to it.
“Well, before my girls died Marluxia and my beauties had lived with me since I doubted that John could handle kids. Butch and him were really close since they were the only boys in the family, and the girls were always doing cheerleading and sports and such. Maude had gone into wrestling, and also learned how to take down a bull! Later on my poor girls were going to a rodeo show…”
She sniffled, wiping a tear with one manicured finger and shoved a few more pounds of food into her mouth.
“Well, as Marluxia said they didn’t make it. I was devastated. I couldn’t stand it one minute, and had gone into deep depression. I ended up quitting my job and I was unable to afford in taking care of Marluxia and Butch and so they were sent to John’s place.”
She had finished her plate and pushed it away, simpering slightly.
“I haven’t really been in contact with them ‘til now. Butch ended up dying of an overdose of drugs, and Marluxia seems to be the only one left.”
She sighed and then glared, “Which upsets me, because he hasn’t given me a grandchild as of yet! I cannot die until I have ONE grandchild!”
Xaldin finally decided to speak after watching the woman engulf her food so quickly, “None of your other children had kids?”
“Oh no, the girls were too young, and Maude wasn’t interested in men, and Butch said no one loved him enough. Marluxia…I’m just not sure about him.”
Lexaeus stared, “Not sure?”
“Well, he did like to be with his sisters a lot! They always did those crazy girl sleepover things with manicures and facials and such, but I’ve never actually heard of Marluxia being…completely in the closet.”
They both looked at each other and shook their heads somewhat before looking back at Marluxia’s mother.
“Would it please you to say that he HAS slept with a woman?”
She frowned, “How come he didn’t marry her first? Is she a whore or something?”
Lexaeus shook his head, “No, I doubt Larxene is a whore.”
She blinked before smiling, “Oh you mean that sweet little blonde angel you have in your group?”
“Are we talking about Roxas or Larxene, because she’s not much of an angel.”
“Oh she’s just so beautiful and graceful! Not to mention she has manners. That girl is perfect for my Marluxia. It’d keep him in line! That’s what every man needs. A woman to take charge.”
The two looked at each other before staring at the mother who was proudly nodding. She then got up to feed the table scraps to her ungodly large dog.
Lexaeus coughed somewhat, “I don’t think they’re going to get married. But you never know if she might have a kid.”
A crashing of a plate had hit the floor and she had whipped around so quick that the whole floor seemed to shake at her quick movement. The mass of her body had bent over slightly, arms out in surprise, those beady eyes were wide with shock.
“You mean…my Marluxia might…have a child??”
Xaldin shrugged, “We don’t know as of yet. We just heard that they slept with each other.”
“When did they have the time to do that??”
“Uh…well…upstairs…”
“Aww, in my house! That’s wonderful! I’ve always wanted one of my children to conceive a child under my roof!”
The two Organization members stared at each other somewhat bewildered at that. Most parents…wouldn’t. Then again this woman was desperate for grandchildren…
This time she started to move toward the stairs, the boards bent under her weight.
“I’m going to go talk to him! This is exciting! I hope she does have a child! A beautiful child with blonde hair!!”
“Why not pink?” Lexaeus joked.
She glared over at him, “Marluxia’s hair is only pink because he drank too much when he was in high school.”
Once again they exchanged looks and watched as she somehow disappeared from sight.
“Was your mom ever like that?”
“Do I look like I’m gay?”
“Good point.”
Marluxia had been slumbering quietly leaning on Xemnas feeling heat radiate off of Axel. He was having a dream about PlayGirl, and suddenly found his dreams utterly shattered when an apocalypse seemed to overtake him.
“Marluxia!!!!”
The booming voice had awoken him instantly, just as it used to when he was younger. He stared at the looming dark shadow that overtook the whole couch and had noticed that everyone else had also awoken somewhat surprised to see that she hadn’t stepped on Roxas and Demyx in the process of entering the room.
“MARLUXIA!!”
“I’m awake, calm down.”
“I heard you were doing…THINGS in my house!!”
She giggled almost satisfactory about it all. Marluxia thought this over, still somewhat groggy missing the picture of hot men wearing practically nothing flashing in his mind.
“Shall I say, doing the ‘nasty’?”
Oh god.
“I did what?”
“You were having sex!”
“When?”
“With that cute little angel!”
“Roxas??? Whoa, I never touched him!”
“No, idiot, Larxene!”
Everyone stared at Marluxia as this very awkward conversation continued.
“Larxene? Oh yeah…about that. You see we were-“
“Having sex! So is she pregnant?? Is she? I must know!!”
“I don’t…know…”
“You’re the father! You should know!!!”
“Mom, why don’t you go ASK her? I’m not the one having a freaking baby.”
“But it’s the INSTINCT that counts! You should sense her every emotion and woeful pain!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Didn’t your sisters teach you ANYTHING?”
“How to do French braids…”
She glared and went over to the door that concealed Larxene inside and slipped in without having her figure grace the door. Everyone continued to stare at Marluxia wondering how the hell he had survived with this woman.
“Oh God…she’s…so hot…” Xigbar drooled from his spot on the ceiling, and it landed and hit Demyx in the face.
“Ewww…” Demyx wiped his face off and moved angrily.
“Does…she always just..burst in and ask personal questions like that?” Xemnas questioned.
Marluxia blinked, “Do you think I lived a private life?”
“Not…with her I doubt it.”
“Exactly.”
She came back out and glared at Marluxia, “You didn’t try HARD enough. She doesn’t have any signs of pregnancy!”
“It’s only been…a few hours, I don’t see how you can tell in that short amount of time.”
“I’m your mother, I know everything.”
“Yeah, right. I bet you knew that the girls were going to die in a burning bus, too.”
The large woman glared and went into a big crying fit before eating a whole chicken and then licked her fingers. She let her eyes land on Marluxia.
“Please, I wasn’t talking about seeing into the future! I can’t believe you aren’t sympathetic to your dear old mummy.”
“You should be DEAD by now. I’m surprised I lived this long.”
She huffed and walked over to the stairs, “I see how it is. I’ll just go hang myself outside on the big oak tree.”
Marluxia stared as she turned to leave, “There is no way a tree branch could hold you, let alone a rope strong enough for your weight.”
She kept walking, ignoring his fat jokes.
Everyone was still silent.
Marluxia glared at all of them, “What?”
Saix snorted, “Not even I was mean to my parents.”
“Oh shut up, you didn’t live with a million sisters and a very disturbed little brother.”
“And I’m thankful my parents didn’t reproduce like rabbits.”
Marluxia glared and stood up, walking over to the window, “Oh damn, the lard is actually going to try it.”
Xigbar got down from the ceiling and rushed over, staring out, “Oh no! Not my dear love!!”
Luxord glared, “Please…stop…you’re making my ears bleed.”
Xigbar whimpered, “But I love her!!”
Larxene came out of her cave and glared about the room before her eyes landed on Marluxia, “Well?”
Marluxia looked back at her, “Well what?”
“Your mom said I wasn’t pregnant.”
“Yeah?”
“Well I want a baby.”
“…Yeah?”
“Get over here and let’s have children, dammit.”
Marluxia stared at her. His eyes went around the room as if looking for a reason to say no.
“Why…don’t you pick someone else?”
“Because I want my kid to turn out looking nice.”
Everyone else glared. What the hell was THAT supposed to mean??
Marluxia winced slightly, “But I don’t even like girls-“
“YOU’RE GONNA GET NAKED AND GET IN HERE DAMMIT OR I’LL DO IT RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!”
Everyone shuddered at the thought of that.
Axel groaned, “Hurry, go Marluxia, I don’t want to see that.”
Marluxia frowned before moving somewhat. Larxene grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room. The door slammed, and all went silent.
Vexen peeped out of the place that never was and smiled, “Well that was exciting!”
Xemnas glared, “You need to stop doing that.”
“Sorry.”
Zexion rubbed at his eyes, “That was weird.”
Saix, with his usual emotionless speech, muttered, “I don’t know, it turned me on.”
Axel stared, his head still in Saix’ lap, “I hope not.”
“I was joking.”
“You scare me when you joke.”
“Maybe you should remove yourself from me then?”
“But…your…lap is soft…”
Demyx popped up and smiled, “Is his lap really soft?”
Axel nodded, “Seriously, sit on him.”
Saix glared, “I don’t think you should-“
But it was too late, Axel had moved and Demyx’ bottom was in Saix’ lap before he could say anything else.
“It is really nice.”
Saix continuing his dangerous look, “Get off.”
Roxas came over, “I want to feel!”
Saix seethed, “NO.”
But Demyx got up and Roxas smashed himself onto Saix smiling with a big goofy grin, “Hey, it is nice. Wow, Saix, how did you get such a nice lap?”
Saix kept glaring and seething, but it wasn’t affecting them. It was as if their stupidity deflected his anger.
“Get. Off.”
Axel poked Zexion, “You so have to try it.”
Zexion shook his head, “No, I don’t want to sit on Saix’ lap.”
Demyx frowned, “But he’s like Santa!”
Saix grabbed Demyx’ throat, “Are you calling me fat??”
Demyx just made gagging dying noises since his windpipe was being crushed.
Roxas gave a bewildered look as poor Demyx was suffering strangulation, “I think we were saying that sitting on your lap is fun!”
Demyx scrambled away and Roxas was soon shoved off, “I don’t care. Go die in a bucket of rotting fish.”
Axel snorted, “Oh please, we all know Demyx is allergic to dead fish.”
“Then I hope he has a seizure and then dies.”
Zexion stared at how angry Saix was, “Um…okay maybe we should change the subject…”
Xigbar suddenly yelled, “HOLY s**t!”
Everyone stared at him.
“She ripped the whole ******** tree out of the ground!!! Hot damn!”
The kids glanced at each other before dashing over to look out the window, both making amazed noises at the sight.
The tree was definitely uprooted and had taken mounds of dirt with it, and it flopped to one side smashing half of the house. Marluxia’ mom stood there with a loose noose around her neck staring somewhat bewildered at what had just happened.
Xigbar smiled, “That’s…so freaking hot. Rawr.”
Saix shuddered, “Stop speaking.”
Vexen had come out of the place that never was and gasped as he stared at everyone, “Oh no.”
They looked at him curiously, “What??”
Vexen shook his head, “The potion…you did it wrong!!”
Xemnas blinked, “I what?”
“The potions we made have all counterattacked each other, and inevitably there is going to be a reversal of what we’ve so desperately tried to do!!”
Demyx scratched his nose, “English for 500, please…”
Vexen shook his head, “We’re going to become OLD again.”
They gasped, they shrieked, and then they all glared at each other for sounding so idiotic.
Saix grumbled, “Wait…so we’re going to become old farts again?”
Zexion shook his head, “No, everyone else turns old while you die. Remember, you were a skeleton in the old folks’ home.”
Saix sulked.
Vexen nodded, “It’s true. I don’t know how to fix it!”
Xemnas frowned, “And when will our potions wear off?”
Vexen shrugged, “I don’t know…I tried numerous calculations, but the answer is unable to be found.”
Roxas frowned, “Damn, I hate being wrinkly.”
Axel whimpered, “You hate it…I can’t even eat when I’m old.”
Demyx started to cry, “Oh god, my dentures are going to fall out every time I try to speak!!”
Zexion sniffled, “And I won’t be able to see.”
And then a whole rupture of ‘oh dear heavens I can’t do this’ went on for a whole five minutes until Xemnas stood up and calmed the group.
“Organization, if the potion reverses we can easily recreate a new one. Got it? We will not let this get us down!!”
They gasped instead of cheered.
Xemnas blinked, “What?”
He patted himself as if he was turning old in front of them wondering whether he was changing and hadn’t realized it.
Vexen pointed, “You have a grape juice stain on your shirt!!”
Saix held out a Tide pen, “Do you need this?”
Xemnas stared at them, “Were none of you listening to me?”
Roxas waved, “I was- Oh look a penny.”
Luxord screamed, “OH HEAVENS TO BETSY WE’RE BECOMING SENILE!!! IT’S HAPPENING!!”
Marluxia came out of the bedroom halfway dressed, “OH GOD!”
They stared, “WHAT??”
“Larxene’s an old HAG!! And she tried to rape me!”
Xigbar snorted, “And how is that different from any other day?”
Larxene came out, smoking a cigarette as she was now back to her 80 some year old self, “Heeeh, who’s next?”
Everyone was utterly shocked.
Xemnas turned and noticed Vexen had changed back, too, “s**t.”
And before it could go on further, the chapter started to end, because a cliffhanger is always what makes the readers coming back for more!!!!
“GOD DAMN YOU!!”
Yeah yeah, Xemnas, shove it.
What is going to happen to our dear Organization??? Until next time!
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:52 pm
Wow, that was very crack filled, with Marluxia and Larxene, and Marluxia's mom.
I LOVED the Saix adventure in Disney World. That could be a story on it's own.
And our cameos were seriously the best part.
At least I survived. Dying at the Disney Store would suck.
Now I want to sit on Saix's lap. It must be a good lap.
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Battery Acid Included Crew
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:11 pm
We had left off with the horrible desperation of the Organization seizing their loveliness by suddenly turning old again.
Or at least Vexen and Larxene had turned back to 80 or so year old farts with no aspirations in life except to eat a lot of liquefied pudding.
“Vexen!!! No….dammit…we’ll need another potion! Hurry, Zexion, fetch me the book. Marluxia, start gathering the items. Axel, gimme a god damn fire and Demyx make sure your teeth don’t fall out when you turn old again.”
They all rushed off to help around when Luxord screamed, “You guys! The coppers are outside waiting for us! It seems Marluxia’s mom busted us!”
Marluxia snarled, “That stupid whore! She’s so freaking retarded!”
Xaldin snorted, “Well if you had killed her earlier in a previous chapter this wouldn’t be such a problem, now would it?”
“Shut up.”
Xemnas snapped his fingers, “Hurry!!”
But Zexion, who had gotten the book, had fallen over and started to snore. He was old again. Roxas screamed and his chipmunk voice slowly turned to a wheeze and he gagged on air for awhile.
Marluxia started to run faster about the place getting more of the stuff. He went downstairs throwing the cupboard doors open searching for baking soda.
“Dammit!!! We’re ruined!!”
Xemnas panicked, “Oh God…I don’t want to suffer through old age again…”
Xigbar transformed and gave a cackle, “Aheehee….”
Demyx grabbed onto Saix for comfort and soon found he was holding onto a skeleton. He screamed and his teeth fell out, “Oh thoooth…”
Lexaeus rubbed his stomach as his cloak started to grow and bulge. Aahhh…the beer gut was coming back. He sat down in a rocking chair and watched his hair disappear into nothingness. He pulled out a beer and started to rock, sipping at it happily.
Xaldin watched his black hair slowly turn white in the mirror, “Damn…”
Axel started to cry, “Goodbye cruel world…”
Xemnas heard the doors downstairs being busted through. They were done for. They’d be slaughter by the police and then they’d never get to live the new life….
As the rest finally turned old they all stood around and made wheezing noises searching for spots to sit down. Everyone got settled and were about to fall asleep in order to think things through when the cops came busting in with their guns pointed. Demyx yelped and his teeth fell out again. Axel grabbed onto his ribcage and took deep breaths almost having a heart attack at the sudden movements.
“What…..they’re all old men…”
Larxene snarled angrily and the cop coughed, “I meant…they’re all old people.”
She nodded.
“I thought they were all young…”
“Maybe they left their elders here and went somewhere else?”
“True….these poor old people…they look defenseless. They’ll be put in a retirement home to rest easily. And we’ll have to inform them if we ever catch their grandkids….those murderous bastards.”
The cops called up a few backups and helped move the Organization.
Within several weeks everything was back to normal again.
Xemnas was sitting at the head of the group staring at each of the members. Some were asleep, other drooling while awake, and one was rattling its skeletal structure.
“I can’t believe we got off the hook so easily,” Xemnas said.
“EHHH???”
“I SAID I CAN’T BELIEVE WE GOT OFF THE HOOK SO EASILY!”
Vexen nodded, “Ah…YES! Yes….we did well, didn’t we?”
Larxene wiped at her eyes, “I wanted a kid so badly…”
Marluxia shuddered, “I’d rather vomit.”
A nurse came up and handed out pudding to them all. The group cheered and happily ate their chocolate and vanilla swirled pudding.
“I hope you all are ready for visitors!”
They all stared as if she was stupid and a large group of visitors came bursting in. One was an extremely large woman and Marluxia groaned, “I thought she would have died by now….”
“EHH?”
“SHUT UP.”
“Hmmph. I didn’t even say anything.”
Marluxia’s mother came over and glared down at Marluxia, “Well now look. You’re old and you can’t do anything!! I wanted grand children!!”
Larxene sighed, “And I wanted a child…”
Xigbar sniffled, “And I wanted Marluxia’s mom…”
Xaldin shook his head, “It does seem to be a rather cruel world…”
Marluxia groaned and ignored everyone’s stupid little interruptions, “You know what? I DID have a kid, you just never knew about it.”
She lunged backward somewhat startled, her hand was on her chest, her girth rippled several times.
“You….did?”
“Yes, I just didn’t know about it. AND I’m a grandparent. And secretly related to Xemnas. But that’s beside the point.”
She opened her mouth in awe and soon shoved a donut inside to keep herself occupied from crying, “I can’t believe it! I…I was only living to see a grandchild….and I supposedly have great grandchildren!! Why….why did this happen to me?”
Marluxia snorted, “Because I’m a whore and I slept with a lot of people?”
Xigbar smiled, “Amen to that!”
Luxord clanked his pudding cup against Xigbar’s before they both tried to chug it, of course….it just slowly oozed out and plopped down their fronts.
Her lower lip started to ripple causing a somewhat earthquake in the building. The silverware on the table started to jiggle and Axel’s wheelchair started to move to the downstairs.
“Nooo!!!” he went down backwards and soon vanished from sight.
“I have no purpose to live….”
Marluxia snorted, “Have fun dying.”
She fell over, which took several hours because there was just so much of her, and the gravitational pull just wasn’t ready to make a crater in the earth as of yet.
The building shook violently and Saix fell apart. Demyx’ teeth flew out and landed in his pudding while Xemnas was pretty sure he lost a large amount of brain cells from the movement.
A nurse came over and stared, “She…died!”
“Oh my…how are we going to get her out of here?”
“A crane would work,” Marluxia muttered and pulled out his knitting.
Yes, he liked to knit, shove it. There was nothing better to do!!
As the staff tried to move the enormous body the rest of the Organization was gleefully talking to their children and grandchildren about their amazing escapade of becoming young again and killing people.
Xemnas watched Xehanort sit intently by his side watching him, “Well, Grandfather? Aren’t you going to tell me how much fun you had? I’m sure out of everyone you had the most fun…”
“I don’t know…look at those fools, they hardly believe us.”
“Well I believe you, Grandfather…”
“That’s because you’re not dumb. Besides…we’re old….they just think we’re senile. Probably for the better…”
Xehanort patted his old and wrinkled hand, “Don’t sound so depressed.”
“Ah whatever….I’m old, it doesn’t matter how I feel.”
Xehanort shook his head, “I think it matters. Now cheer up a bit and eat your pudding, alright? I have to leave for now, I’m going to work in a little bit.”
Xemnas nodded as he held onto his pudding and watched his grandkid leave. Well…at least someone else could live a joyous life for him….
He sighed as he put the cup down softly on the table and watched the others with his old tired eyes. Normally he’d feel rather annoyed at everyone’s behavior. But…for some reason he was in a blissful state. Not exactly too happy but definitely not upset.
It was…perfect.
And for once in his life….he felt…happy. Happy that he had grown old like this. Glad that he had died once. Proud of what he had done in his past.
He put his hands across his chest and fell to sleep…and slowly his life slipped away from him.
Actually I lied, it really didn’t, but there just needed to be an extremely dramatic scene right there.
Xemnas passed gas and sighed happily, he felt much better now…where the hell did he put his pudding cup again?
And….oh so far away, in a state very far from that which held the old Organization members, a girl who once worked at a Disney store in Minnesota stared at the amazing picture she had got of Axel and Xemnas.
It was suddenly ripped out of her hands, “Whoa…you’re right. They do look rather…real.”
“See? I swear it was them! Either that or just some really good cosplayers. But seriously! They completely destroyed the mall and everything and I got their picture!! I feel like I’ve been touched by God or something!”
“More like Darren Hayes….anyway, I think I have a BETTER picture.”
She stared at her friend wondering what could be better than getting a picture of Axel and Xemnas when suddenly she gasped at what her friend had produced in front of her.
“Oh my GOSH! Is that…Saix, Demyx, and Roxas on a roller coaster? Oh god! He’s not smiling or anything and they’re crying! It’s so cute I WANT IT!”
“I knew you’d like it.”
And back at the retirement home Demyx and Roxas were searching for their picture.
“Dang nabbith, can’ fin’ a darn tootin’ thing in thith room!”
Roxas snorted and babbled to himself, “Doodedoo…looking…pictures…and pictures…looking. And I see myself…doodedoo…where that Saix go?”
Demyx sighed, “I think we lotht it.”
Roxas shrugged, “Some ho probably stole it. Oh well. Let’s go get some more pudding.”
“Okay!”
They shuffled off completely forgetting about the picture.
And well, not to make a really boring ending come by with more babblings, it was finally decided that the Organization would rather stay old and die naturally than go through another hell of potions and man love making.
And with that we leave our 13 guys-
“AHEM!”
Uh…12 guys and 1 lady to have their own fun being old farts.
THE END.
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:16 am
Awwwww, that's sad that it ended, but I suppose it was time.
And wahoo! I got another cameo, and a reference to Darren Hayes. Which none of your fans will understand, but that's all good.
I like how it ended right where it started. It's the circle of life I tell yah.
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 12:03 am
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