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 Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:47 pm
There once was a beautiful angel who lived in the heavens. She was gods favorite angel. She was like a child who loved to break rules. She had six wings 2 to fly, 2 to cover her body, and 2 to cover her face in the prescence of god.One day she got curious and opened the wings to see gods face as she did god saw her he was furious. He had let aall the other rules she broke slide but this one was just to great.Since she was his favorite angek he did not wish to kill her so instead he sent her down to earth to live out her life as a fallen angel one that can never come back to heaven.
A beautiful angel falls out of the sky. Her white robe flows through the air and her beautiful long hair tangles in the air as she falls down in fast speeds. As she lands her wings protect her from dieing by the harsh fall but she still hurts herself alot and knockes herself out.
As she lays thier unconcince her wings turn gray and disappear. A man in his 20's runs up to her and takes her to his house to help her wounds.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:27 am
Nice story plot line, just needs to be detailed more and numbers tend to usually be written out such as "twenties", or "two." Just flush and add some clearer images to help your reader's and could have a great beginning to a great story!!!
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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:00 pm
I have to agree with Rosey on this one. But I think you should also write more all in all it's very good!
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